Because D. is under the weather, and because I have a HUGE ENORMOUS TON of work to do this weekend – work that I can’t do from home – Alex and I are about to head to T’loosa to meet Mama and Daddy and then bring Mama back here to B’ham for a couple of days.

This visit was a complete desperation cry on my part. When I started to think about the deadlines I have next week, and the fact that D. isn’t in prime babysitting shape, and the fact that OH SWEET GOODNESS THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ENOUGH TIME, I called Mama to see if she was free for the weekend. Thankfully, she is, so Alex is in for a big weekend-o-fun.

I may even see if she wants to write a guest post. If she does, it will be A Moment For The Ages, because computers and Mama are not, as it were, “tight.”

About a year ago D. and and my brother-in-law (affectionately known as “Barro”) would often meet up on XBox Live and play Halo. Oh, the fun they had. Anyway, one night I was talking to Mama on the phone, and she said, “Well, what’s D. doing?”

“He’s in the basement playing XBox with Barro,” I replied.

[Excitedly] “Oh, I didn’t know Barry was there for a visit!”

“No, Mama, he’s in Nashville. They just have this thing where they can play video games with each other over the internet.”

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Finally…”NOW, I can’t even wrap my head around that. They’re playing video games? Over the internet? From separate cities? I just can’t believe that. And here I sit, not even knowing how to turn on the email.”

You can see why Mama doing a little blog-posting might be outside her comfort zone.

So I’m sure we’ll have updates at some point this weekend.

But you know one thing we won’t have?

Catfish.

Tonight I went to a dinner for my friend NK, who’s expecting her second child in the not-so-distant future. I know that it’s mostly my college friends who read this blog thing, so I realize that you don’t know NK – but she is our kind of girl. If she had been at State, she would have been our friend, and I daresay we would’ve run her for homecoming queen. :-) She would have won, too, because she’s just that sweet and lovable.

I should also mention that NK is the Cutest. Pregnant. Person. Ever.

But I love her anyway. I’m not even bitter about how cute she is when she’s pregnant, despite the fact that I was not cute at ALL when I was expecting Alex. I was, however, very swollen, and I had to use so much BenGay on my aching hip that by month nine David finally banished me to the guest room upstairs, where I would groan about said aching hip and hardly sleep at all, but when I did sleep, I had some MAJOR sleep apnea that no doubt caused our neighbors to awaken in the middle of the night with a great deal of certainty that the killer hogs, they were a-comin’. In my defense, my newborn weighed 10 lbs., 7 oz., so don’t you judge me. I was carrying a three-month old.

We planned a little dinner for NK a few weeks ago, long before the words “gallbladder sludge” became a part of our household’s daily existence. Over the last 10 or 12 days, NK has probably been the most aware of how D.’s being under the weather has created a bit of a juggling act for our little family. Nothing major, but chasing a toddler hasn’t been very high on D.’s to-do list…because he literally cannot do it.

This past Sunday night NK mentioned that, in a fit of goodwill and questionable judgment, her destined-for-sainthood husband, Michael, offered to sub for D. and keep Alex tonight during the dinner. Alex AND AC, their 3 1/2 year old little girl, whom A. loves very, very deeply.

To sum up, here is what Michael offered to do:

1. Serve supper to a 3 1/2 year old and a nearly-3 year old.
2. Engage in activities with said toddlers.
3. Maintain a reasonable amount of order for the toddlers.
4. Refrain from running into the street screaming “HELP ME, HELP ME, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”
5. Perform all these tasks during the absolute worst time of the parenting day: 5:30 pm until 8:30 pm.

I’ve got to tell you – Michael did an awesome job. He and the kids played, they colored pictures, they used scissors, they listened to music, they watched movies, they went outside…he really pulled out all the stops. Alex had a blast.

Here are Alex and AC after we got back from dinner (by the way, that’s Michael’s cool video-game playing chair that AC is in. NK and I were laughing before supper that if D. and Michael were in charge of our respective home decors, there would be lots of black plastic and foam employed in the decorative “scheme”).

Here’s what they did while we were gone. :-) I should probably point out that AC made the orderly, architecturally-pleasing castle of blocks. Alex, on the other hand, pulled out all the books and DVDs into a large, disorderly pile.

Big fun for all.

And Miguel – muchas, muchas gracias. You are, without a doubt, a saint among men.

Tonight I opened the pantry (that seems to be a recurring theme these days), noticed a web address off the back of a box, read it, and had the following conversation with myself:

“Un Clebens? Un Clebens?

What in the name of peace is Un Clebens?”

Pause. Much thought ensued. Looked at box again.

“OH MY WORD – I have lost my mind.

It’s UNCLE BEN’S.”

Y’all. Seriously.

Prayers, from Alex, at bedtime:

“Dear God –
Thank you for water
Thank you for milk
Thank you for Beck and Houston
Thank you for stroll
Thank you for house
Thank you for family
Thank you for Cheetos
Thank you for walk
Thank you for cheese
Thank you for Maggie Ally
Thank you for GeoTrax
Thank you for God’s heart
Thank you for Daddy
In Jesus’ Name –
Amen.”

A photo update from yet another daily adventure with The Child Who Enjoys All The Nature.

Strolling is apparently much more enjoyable if you twist your body in such a fashion that you can watch your mama the entire time. And when you’re not looking up at your mama through the clear plastic panel, it’s also very enjoyable to say things like, “THIS WAY THIS WAY WANNA GO THIS WAY” and “NO WANT TO STROLL, MAMA” and “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” and then some noise that’s not translatable into letters or words but that sounds sort of like a rooster who has smoked for many, many years.

Anyway, when we made it back to our street, Boo experienced the most thrilling part of his day.

Yes, he visited his good friend Manhole Cover. However, he did take a moment from his jumping to carefully examine the grass. He is pointing out some of the more fascinating aspects of photosynthesis in action, as you can well imagine. The wonders of photosynthesis only held his attention for, oh, 10 seconds, so we moved on to our next stop.

This is the house behind ours. It’s been under construction – no kidding – for over two years. I can’t even begin to describe it – that’s another post altogether – but for the time being, Alex loves to walk through all the big empty rooms and scream loudly. He is but a small speck in the photo because he got so far ahead of me in his mad dash to go inside. After several laps around the outside and trips through the inside, it was almost time to come home.

But not before the dogs walked over and built Alex a campfire. Oh, that Maggie and Ally – they are SO industrious. Even sang some campfire songs. You would not BELIEVE how Ally can harmonize on “Kum Ba Yah.” I’m telling you – chills.

I’ll spare y’all the pictures I could take if I continued to chronicle our evening: The Changing of the Diaper, The Screaming at the Bedtime, and The Collapsing of the Parents.

But he’s a cute little thing, isn’t he? :-)

I mentioned earlier that I had broken the internet. For some reason, I can’t access the site meter…the thing that shows me the map of the US with the pretty red dots that indicate someone in or around a certain city has read something. It also shows what internet providers have accessed the site, but that means about as much to me as &*#O#IHJ#Y@*O does. In other words, nothing at all.

I cannot tell you the level of the anxiety I am feeling. Reading the blog is your connection to me – but the site meter is my connection to you. It’s almost like all my friends are meeting somewhere, and I know they’re there, but I can’t get to them because I’m stuck in traffic. Kind of like the time Merritt and family came to visit, and we were going to meet them at PF Chang’s, but it took us almost an hour to drive 1/2 mile, and I had to call and tell her that we couldn’t make it. Not because we had other plans, but because we literally couldn’t get from point A to point B. Only this time point A is BooMama, and point B is the site meter, and instead of a local roadway it’s this internet information superhighway that we all know Al Gore invented. :-)

SO. FRUSTRATING.

My reaction to this site meter thing makes me feel like in about a month, I’m going to walk in the door, and D. and several friends and family members will sit me down, take the computer away from me, and say, “It’s about time you face the facts: you have a problem, and we’re here to help you get better.”

Is there a site meter detox facility? Can I make crafts and ride horses while I’m there? Can I put on a play like Sandra Bullock did in “28 Days”?

Off to drown my troubles in “American Idol.”

Bad singing never, ever disappoints. Even when the site meter has failed you.