I want to give y’all a quick update about tomorrow night’s Miss America Viewing Party, but first I have to show you this clip (thanks to my friend Shellie). Because if I could sum up my sense of humor in thirty seconds, it would be this right here.

I saw the sketch when it first aired on SNL, but I’d forgotten about it. I’m so glad Shellie reminded me. Playing the triangle could be a spectacular talent in Miss America, don’t you think?

Okay. Tomorrow night. Here’s an update.

I’ll hop on here around 7:50 central tomorrow night and open up a blog post. I’ll update that same post throughout the pageant, and then we’ll talk back and forth to each other in the comments, too. I’m sure that there are easier, more efficient ways to make this whole thing work, but whenever I try to start using a new widget or plug-in or whathaveyou, typically the end result is that I break my blog.

Only temporarily, mind you. But it’s inconvenient nonetheless.

So we’ll approach things the old-fashioned way tomorrow night: blog post and blog comments. It’ll be a kick. And all in good fun, of course. We certainly don’t want to say anything hurtful or discouraging because my goodness I’d be willing to bet that all the girls in the pageant have just worked like crazy to get ready for the big event.

Also, I am pretty sure that my friend Amie Beth is going to join us. Amie Beth was Miss Alabama at some point in the 90s (I was not living in Alabama at the time, but rest assured that if Amie Beth had been affiliated with Miss Mississippi in any way, I would still be able to tell you what she did for her talent and what color evening gown she wore). Anyway, Amie Beth is one of my favorite people on the planet – she is so funny and self-deprecating and wise and delightful – so I hope it works out for her to chime in from time to time.

Hope y’all have a wonderful weekend – see you tomorrow night!

It is sad that my life has come to leading with this particular bit of news, but I finally sneezed this afternoon.

It caught me totally off guard and was cause for much celebration.

I’m not sure why the Lord chose to lead me through a ten-day sneeze fast, but I can tell you one thing: I will never take the sneezing for granted again. As the wise philosophers in Cinderella* once sang, “You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.” AND THEY WERE NOT KIDDING, EITHER.

Now that the sneezing news is out of the way (LAMEST INTRODUCTORY PHRASE EVER), I have to say that I have loved reading your reactions to Sunday night’s Downton Abbey episode. I couldn’t help but think of everything y’all had pointed out when I ran across this little gem on Pinterest.

I think she would make a wonderful addition to The Bachelor, don’t you? Because I can guarantee you that Dowager Countess would have had something to say about the girl who hopped out of that limousine wearing a wedding gown. Oh yes ma’am she would have.

Anyhoo.

There are a few bits-o-information that I’ve been meaning to pass along to y’all for the last couple of days, so while they’re all sitting in a pretty little row in my mind, I thought I’d pass them along. In list form, of course. Because I do enjoy a list.

– Melanie’s book, Sparkly Green Earrings, hits bookstores in exactly one month. YOU PEOPLE ARE IN FOR SUCH A TREAT. Don’t forget to pre-order your copy at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or one of the other bookstores listed on Melanie’s book page.

– Earlier today I mentioned on the Twitter that I was looking for some new music, and several people mentioned that they were enjoying Chris Tomlin’s new CD, Burning Lights. I’ve been listening to it most of the afternoon, and YES. SO, SO GOOD. Two thumbs up. I’ve also had Bethel Music’s The Loft Sessions on pretty steady rotation this week, and it is excellent. I could listen to “Come to Me” for a sweet forever and then ask to hear it one more time.

– I wrote a post over at Ree’s about my 2013 TV Goals. And because I am brilliant, I accidentally titled the post “TV Goals 2012.” Because apparently I can’t keep my years straight. Nonetheless, all the info in said post is relevant to 2013, so just shield your eyes from the errant title and pretend like I know what I’m doing.

– This Saturday night is the Miss America pageant, and I thought it would be fun if we had a little bloggy get-together during the festivities. We were plagued by technical difficulties when we tried to get together for Miss Mississippi this past summer, but I figure it’ll be much easier to tune in to Miss America since it’s on ABC (9pm eastern, 8pm central). Here’s what we did last year for Miss America – and oh, was it ever a blast. Maybe my favorite bloggy fun ever.

All you have to do to participate is to watch Miss America with a computer or phone or iPad nearby. Even if there are just ten of us who participate, it’ll be big fun.

In the meantime, I’m going to watch this over and over to prepare myself for all the pageantry.

(I know. I’ve shown that video about 72 times on my blog.)

(I love it so much.)

Happy Tuesday, y’all!

* – I originally said Aerosmith but have corrected the error. Obviously I am grief-stricken that I confused my power ballads. It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.

Well, I still haven’t sneezed.

At this point I’ve stopped worrying about the fact that I can’t sneeze and have decided to set my sights on inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2015.

I mean, setting some sort of world record for being sneeze-free has never been an actual goal of mine, but everybody’s gotta be good at something, you know?

Today is our first post-Christmas day back in the real world – with real alarms and real responsibilities and real schedules – and while I was definitely enjoying our more laid-back pace (not to mention all the Parenthood episodes I’ve watched over the last three weeks), I am one of those people who does much, much better with a day that errs on the side of structured. Someone asked me not too long ago how I managed to write my book while working full-time, and my immediate reaction was that it’s the only way I could have done it. There’s nothing like a little pressure to make me more productive. However, if you give me four wide-open weeks with nothing but time, glorious time to work on whatever deadline is at hand, odds are that I’ll find several new Bravo shows to watch while I’m completely overtaken by an urgent need to cook many new varieties of meat.

Seriously. I know my weaknesses. This past weekend I cooked prime rib when my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews were visiting, and I could not quit talking about the whole meat-cooking process. Everyone gather ’round while I sear the meat! Now watch me flip the meat! Wait! I will transfer the meat to a roasting pan! Behold the smell of the meat as it cooks! Look at the glorious color of the roasted meat! Now let us slice the meat! ISN’T THE MEAT TASTY?

It really was delicious. But I probably could have dialed down my enthusiasm a notch or seven in the interest of everyone else’s sanity.

After Brother and his people headed back to Memphis yesterday, I promptly put on my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon and settled in for a day-o-rest. In addition to knowing that it was my last rest hurrah before real life resumed today, I wanted to make sure that I was completely relaxed and stress-free for the season three premiere of Downton Abbey last night. I watched the first two seasons online this past summer, so watching each week on PBS is new for me, but I am up for the challenge. And oh my goodness, last night’s episode did not disappoint.

Here are a few of my favorite moments (SPOILER ALERT for those of you who haven’t watched yet).

(No kidding: SPOILER ALERT.)

(Last warning: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.)

1. Shirley MacLaine was everything I hoped she’d be.

2. It dawned on me about halfway through the episode that Edith Crawley is Jan Brady with a British accent.

3. Mary’s wedding gown was absolutely beautiful. And that comb / feather / tiara thing that she wore? Stunning.

4. When Isobel Crawley shouted, “WELL SAID!” at the dinner table, I cackled. She tickles me with all her social crusading.

5. When Daisy kept having trouble with the oven, I was afraid the castle was going to burn down. So I was relieved that the only ill-effect was that the guests at Downton were forced to enjoy a cold-cuts buffet and some awkward song-leading from Martha Levinson.

6. I am worried that things aren’t going to end well for Anna and Mr. Bates. Just a feeling.

7. When Sir Anthony told Edith (aka Jan) that he’d be back the next morning to ask Lord Downton for her hand in marriage, I halfway expected for him to be killed in a car crash on the way home. Isn’t that awful? But it would totally fit in to the way things typically go for Edith, wouldn’t it?

8. I loved all the conspiring between Mary and Dowager Countess.

9. The guy who slipped something into Tom’s drink? I DID NOT CARE FOR HIM. And I was proud of Sir Anthony for standing up to him.

10. Maggie Smith can communicate more by blinking her eyes than most actors can by saying 10,000 words. She is brilliant.

Did y’all watch, too?

(And while I don’t want to encourage cultural whiplash, let us remember that the season premiere of The Bachelor is tonight.)

(Certainly we’ll need to pace ourselves after the two-hour Downton episode, but I have full confidence that we can handle it.)

(Be sure to stretch beforehand and drink plenty of liquids.)

The last couple of days have been exactly what I didn’t know I needed, and oh, have I ever enjoyed them. Yesterday I stayed in my pajamas all day except for a brief 20-minute window when I did in fact put on real clothes so that the little guy and I could go to lunch. But then I realized that my car battery was dead (all better now, thanks to the husband), so we walked back inside, put on PJs again, and I made us some cheese grits.

As you can tell, our Wednesday was fraught with excitement.

I’ve spent a big chunk of the last two days watching the Passion 2013 live feed, and if you haven’t watched any of the sessions yet, I cannot recommend them enough. The conference is for college students, but as someone who is a couple of decades removed from my college years, I am still encouraged and challenged by what I see and hear. Yesterday morning (Session Two) Beth Moore taught a beautiful lesson on the Last Supper, and it should be online until sometime tomorrow if you’d like to watch it before then (here’s the link if you’re interested).

Right now the youngster is playing with a friend, so I thought I’d take a second and see if the Internet can solve a problem I’m having. It was Sunday, I think, when I noticed that I kept feeling like I needed to sneeze – only I never could make the actual sneezing happen. My nose would tickle and my eyes would water, but there was no follow-through. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, but I figured it must just be some sort of sneezing glitch.

But now it’s Thursday. And I still can’t sneeze. I’m sure it’s some sort of psychological thing at this point, but it’s DRIVING. ME. CRAZY. I thought about calling my ENT, but I don’t think I can relay this information to a nurse without laughing my head off. I mean, it’s silly, right? Kind of a ridiculous medical issue, if you think about it. But like I told some friends earlier this afternoon, you don’t know how grateful you are for a good sneeze until the Lord removes the sneeze anointing from your life.

I’ve even started to covet the sneezes of my family members. NO KIDDING. I AM JEALOUS OF THEIR SNEEZING.

Usually when I feel like I need to sneeze I can look at a bright light and settle the sneezing almost instantly, but not this time. The bright light trick isn’t working. I’ve even tried shaking black pepper around the general vicinity of my nose, but it was a no-go. And now, after five days, I have a little bit of concern that when I finally do sneeze (Lord willing), I will shake my house right down to the rafters.

And that’s certainly no way to kick off 2013.

So does anybody have any home remedies? Any suggestions? A similar experience?

My sinus pressure and I thank you in advance. We’re forever grateful for your wisdom.

We are currently on round four of our Christmas / New Year celebrations, and while it’s not typical for us to spread out the merriment to the degree that we have this year, it’s been fun to wrap up 2012 with different branches of our family. We started with D’s side, then huddled on Christmas Day with our little family-o-three, then visited with my parents for a couple of days, and now Sister and Barry are here. My brother, Janie, and their boys are coming to town at the end of the week, and then I expect I will go into some sort of family gathering withdrawal.

That should coincide nicely with my withdrawal from simple carbohydrates.

Suffice it to say that my first goal for 2013 is to PUT DOWN THE BREAD.

It’s been fun to hang out and talk and dig through the Steinmart clearance racks over the last four or five days, and it’s also been fun to reflect a little bit on the last twelve months. So in the spirit of a New Year’s Eve wrap-up, here are some things that I loved (Martha-esque disclaimer: you don’t love things! you love people! of course you love people! but sometimes you do really, really like things a lot!) in 2012.

– queso at Escalante’s with Melanie, Amanda, and Janelle
– a wonderful dinner with friends in Houston that still makes me teary-eyed when I think about it
– Downton Abbey
– getting my book contract in the mail when some of my lifelong friends were in town for the weekend

– Christy Nockels’ Into the Glorious album – perfect music at the perfect time
– Fisherman’s Corner in Perdido with my people
– Easter at my parents’ house
– some unexpected new friendships (and some treasured old friendships, too)
– SEC Baseball Tournament with my boy (the fact that the Bulldogs won the tourney was gravy, really)
– a visit from my friend Annie – and watching her totally win over a room full of high school girls
– weekly phone calls from my sister-in-law Rose – she has been unbelievably supportive with the writing stuff
– John Mayer’s Born and Raised album
– a quick, laughter-filled trip to Texas this past summer
– my work – I feel like I had some full circle, a-ha moments this past year, and I was reminded again and again that BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS IS SO VERY WORTH IT
– knowing that I have the freedom to be completely myself when I’m with my fellas – I am never more at home than when I am at home
– going through A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place with my Bible study group – it was deeply meaningful for so many reasons
– a summer sunset that took my breath away

– Mumford & Sons’ Babel album
– road trips with Sister – oh, we do love us some Bulldogs
– watching a certain nine year-old grow and change and laugh and learn
– dotMOM – so much fun with such sweet people
– Birmingham – it’s the South’s best-kept secret, y’all

– seeing some young friends in their late teens / early 20s really start to walk in the center of what God’s calling them to do
– neighbors – we’ve got us some good’uns
– readers / commenters in this little corner of the Internet – we’ve got us some good’uns
– Christmas party at our house – makes me smile whenever I think about it
– Parenthood (I’m still watching season three on Netflix, so easy with the spoilers, por favor)
– asparagus – it continues to be my favorite of all the vegetables
– Mrs. Meyer’s Iowa Pine countertop spray
– “Grace, grace, God’s grace,
grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
grace, grace, God’s grace,
grace that is greater than all our sin”

Happy New Year, everybody.

Praying God’s richest blessings for each one of you in 2013!

Well, yesterday we celebrated our first round of Christmas festivities in Mississippi, and we had such a fun time. My sister-in-law Rose is always so great about making things laid-back and easy, and even though we talk on the phone a good bit, it’s always good to see each other in person and visit and laugh and eat some ham.

We really did eat some ham. It was tasty.

We exchanged presents with D’s side of the family since our little family-o-three will be here in Birmingham on Christmas Day, and you’ll be happy to know that I made sure to take a picture of Martha in one of the things that we gave her.

SASSY MCGEE.

I went to the grocery store as soon as we got home today (you may remember that my primary holiday grocery shopping goal is to shop three to four days in advance, mainly so I can avoid the amateurs and sacrificial out-of-town relative errand-runners). Later this afternoon I tried to make some cinnamon rolls but completely messed up my dough (the baking and I really struggle sometimes, what with its “precise measurements” and “need for accuracy”), so I’m going to try again tomorrow.

See? I am filled with Christmas-related optimism and cheer.

But if the dough goes wrong tomorrow, I’m going to resort to the Pillsbury variety that you pop open with a spoon.

ANYWAY, there are a few links that I wanted to be sure to share before next week gets away from me.

– If you need a last-minute Christmas gift for someone you love, may I very humbly suggest that you present said person with a gift card for Melanie’s new book, Sparkly Green Earrings? Because Melanie’s book is funny and tender and wonderful and will make someone very happy when it arrives at their house on the first Tuesday in February.

By the way, I told myself that I was going to try to be low-key about Mel’s book.

But that’s not gonna happen. Because as it turns out, I feel more like a stage mama who wears a t-shirt with her daughter’s name airbrushed on the front.

So it’s a safe bet that you’ll be hearing lots more about Melanie’s book from me.

– I meant to link to this video about a month ago, but I got sidetracked by football season or Thanksgiving or Real Housewives or something.

Better late than never, I reckon.

Shoot Christians Say

(I give it a 98 on a 100-point scale.)

(I deducted two points for not using the phrase “Christ-follower.”)

(And careful if you have little ears in the room.)

(But oh my. HILARIOUS.)

– A couple of weeks ago my friend Jennifer sent me a link to a website that she thought I’d like.

And OH, MY. DO I EVER.

Old Try: A Southern Print Shop

They’re closed on Sunday, by the way. Which in my opinion is just one more reason to love them forever.

All righty. I think that’s it. I hope y’all have a wonderful Christmas – I am so grateful for each one of you!