Random pictures from my phone, as if anyone in the whole world even remotely cares, but that’s certainly never stopped me from sharing before:

I fell in love with these sandals last week when I was in the Steinmarts. Since I sometimes lack confidence in my sandal-related choices, I took a picture and texted it to Melanie to make sure that they were in fact cute. Mel affirmed my choice, but alas, it was all for naught: they were fresh out of 9s.

It is, quite simply, brilliant. Ten or fifteen flavors of self-serve yogurt along the right wall. At least fifty toppings along the left wall. A veritable mountain of yogurt-related possibilities. Make no mistake: Yogurt Mountain will change your life.

This is the second picture I took of Merritt after we finally escaped from “Valentine’s Day.” I think I like it better than the first one. She looks so thoughtful.

So here’s my current favorite side dish. Snap the ends off of a bunch (or two) of fresh asparagus. Put the asparagus on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and fresh lemon juice (half a lemon). Sprinkle with kosher salt and black pepper (to taste). And then – AND THEN –

Sprinkle freshly grated Parmesan cheese on top (or you can use, as Giada says, “parmeezhana-reggzheeano”). Bake at 400 for about 15 minutes (a little less if you like your asparagus super crunchy).

It’s tastier than any green vegetable deserves.

I saw this infomercial on TV one afternoon when I was cooking supper, and I immediately snapped a picture and sent it to a friend of mine who shares my love of “The Carol Burnett Show.” Honestly, I don’t know when I’ve felt more tempted to order an infomercial product – I mean, what could be better than having Mrs. Sa-Wiggins and Eunice hang out with us every single day? I resisted, though. Mainly because of a time in my 20s when I ordered some VHS tapes about relationships and COULD NOT MAKE THEM STOP SHOWING UP IN MY MAILBOX NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED.

You’ll be happy to know David took out the fancy stereo and replaced it with my old one. When he finished the re-installation, he walked inside, smiled, and said, “Well, I’m sorry that I tried to give you a nice stereo for your car.”

“It’s totally fine,” I replied. And then I went outside and sat in my car and sang “Reunited” while I gazed lovingly at all the buttons I actually know how to operate. Glory.

The end.

So.

This past weekend I went way (waaaaaay) outside of my comfort zone and spoke (briefly) at a conference in Atlanta, and if you’re thinking, “Um, you’re not a speaker – you’re a blogger,” YOU’RE EXACTLY RIGHT. I’m not a speaker. I’m not even close to one. But a friend of mine asked me to “share” for about 20 minutes, and I did, and I survived. And afterwards I went to Dreamland BBQ with my fellas and PUT DOWN some barbecue chicken.

Also, Alex ordered a bowl of the Dreamland macaroni and cheese, and he loved it so much that I am almost certain that if we had been in the privacy of our home, he would have picked up that bowl and licked it clean.

And I would’ve been so proud.

Anyway, we got home yesterday afternoon, and I immediately set about the business of trying to catch up on TV. I missed all of the Thursday night shows that aren’t on Bravo (just sayin’), so I tried to plow through as much as possible while a certain six year-old was having some room time. To his utter chagrin there was no Dreamland macaroni and cheese available during room time, but hey. Life is hard. And it’s best if he learns at a young age that cheesy, starch-laden foods don’t grow on trees. Or bunk beds, as it were.

So while I was playing catch-up yesterday afternoon and last night after A. went to bed, I realized that I have a veritable overflow of tv-related thoughts. With your blessing, I will share them at this juncture.

Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding.

– “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” is absolutely brilliant. When I finished last week’s episode, I CHEERED OUT LOUD, even though I really like the person who was voted off. Most of the contestants are just so dadgum smart, and it’s ever-so-much fun to watch them balance the physical game and the social game. My favorites are Colby and Boston Rob. In case you were wondering.

– The Oklahoma cowboys on “Amazing Race” are straight-shooters who are loaded with common sense. Delightful to watch.

– I don’t enjoy “Project Runway” nearly as much since it moved to Lifetime. I don’t know why. The show is still entertaining, but since Lifetime is a network that I rarely watch, I don’t feel at home there. And yes, I recognize that I sound ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. But it’s how I feel. I CAN’T FIGHT THESE FEELINGS.

– One of our favorite shows right now is “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” on Food Network. Ohmylands. Have y’all seen it? Each episode has a theme – like chocolate or guilty pleasure or pizza or breakfast – and chefs / food personalities (there’s a term that wasn’t around 20 years ago: “food personalities”) describe their absolute favorite dish in whatever the category happens to be. It’s fun to hear about different restaurants around the country, but more than that it’s downright infectious to hear a bunch of foodies rave about what they think is the perfect burger or surf and turf or street food. Such a treasure.

– This past Friday night I saw “Who Do You Think You Are?” on NBC, and I thought it was totally intriguing. Maybe it’s because I have a daddy who’s a genealogy buff, but it was so interesting to see someone (in this case, Sarah Jessica Parker) put together all the different parts of her family tree. I’m definitely adding this show to our DVR line-up; I think it would be so fun to watch as a family.

Okay. I believe that’s all. Except that this morning I woke up with a really sore foot, almost like I’d sprained it, but the only thing I could’ve done to sprain it would have been 1) driving 2) watching the Oscars or 3) sleeping. But then I remembered that last night I put on some flip-flops in anticipation of spring’s arrival, and I walked around in them for a little while because, well, as y’all know, breaking in a pair of flip-flops takes some practice.

And do you know what? I honestly think I pulled a muscle in the top of my foot when I was wearing the flip-flops. IS THAT NOT ASTOUNDING? Clearly THE WHOLE WORLD IS A HAZARD.

Be careful out there, my friends.

And p.s. – This post of Kristen’s is well worth your time. So, so good.

I don’t know how else to say this, so I’ll just, well, say it:

This winter has kicked my tail.

KICKED MY TAIL.

And believe you me, I have tried to figure out why. Maybe it’s because I was in a little bit of a funk at the end of fall (wemustneverspeakofmybirthdayagain). Maybe it’s because our wintertime holidays didn’t pan out exactly like I hoped they would. Maybe it’s because I got sick over Christmas and spent about four days in the bed, which really only served to make me want to spend more time in the bed. Maybe it’s because All The Gray started to rub me the wrong way around, oh, December 1st, and it’s pretty much been gray for the three months since then. Maybe God wanted me to walk through some sadness and some lonely for a little while. Maybe I’m just hormonal.

But this much I know for sure: I AM READY FOR SOME SUNSHINE.

(And yes, I know that given where I live, I’ve had a mild go of it in terms of winter weather.)

(Which is why this winter’s emotional state has left me more convinced than ever that I MUST NEVER LEAVE THE SOUTH.)

Yesterday afternoon Alex and I were at the post office, and the trees had huge buds on them. I actually took a picture so I could have a little visual reminder that the spring, it is coming. I bought some new nail polish this past weekend because I thought it might make me feel better to have a pretty spring color on my fingers and toes. I’ve been listening to a bunch of new music so I can make my spring soundtrack selections (I always have a spring soundtrack – it’s one of the great joys in my life, and I highly recommend it).

And this morning, when I walked outside, I heard some birds singing. I smiled and thought, Oh. This is a VERY good sign.

Bring it on, sweet spring.

1. I texted so much during “The Bachelor” tonight that my phone froze up not once but twice. Just froze. I pushed it to its limits, I did. And I felt a little bit proud.

2. I’m sure I’ll have withdrawals, but I don’t think I’m going to be blogging “American Idol” this week – mainly because the next few days are CUCKOO CRAZY, and I need to use my blogging time to “be productive” and “get things done.” However, I’ll still put up a Mr. Linky, and if you write about this week’s shows, you can add your link and join the fun. I’ll be back to normal next week, I think. I hope.

And when I say “normal,” that is, of course, a completely relative term.

3. I spent this past weekend with four of my sweetest friends (three from high school and one from college). We had such a blast. Granted, we will never, ever get back the two hours we spent at the movie theatre watching “Valentine’s Day,” but as we were walking through the lobby on the way back to our car, my friend Merritt spied a big cardboard movie poster that said “take your picture here.” So we did. And the picture made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in months.

MONTHS.

Doesn’t that look eerily real? It cracks me up how it looks like Danny Glover is kind of fed up with Merritt’s wacky hijinks.

You can understand why I love her.

4. I’m officially fed up with reality show pronoun usage. Personally I think the networks need to make the contestants go through some sort of objective and nominative case boot camp. And every single time someone says, “I think it’s best to keep that between he and I,” that person has to run four miles and do 50 push-ups.

AND lose a day of tanning and teeth whitening.

That’d whip the pronoun usage into shape, don’t you think?

A couple of weeks ago David put a new stereo in my car. He pulled off the dashboard, took out the old stereo, cut and soldered some wires, installed the new stereo and reattached the dashboard. He did all of this in our driveway, thankyouverymuch, which means that for a few hours one Saturday afternoon the area in front of our house looked so much like the “Dukes of Hazzard” parts shop that I LONGED for someone from the homeowners’ association to stop by. Mainly because I was dying to blare some Hank Williams, Jr. music from the garage and then introduce my husband as Cooter.

IT WOULD HAVE MADE ME SO HAPPY.

In all seriousness, D is unbelievably patient and detail-oriented when it comes to assembling stuff, so I knew that he’d do a great job with the stereo installation. And he did. My old stereo had this iPod connector thingie that ran behind the dashboard and had quit working completely, and since it was going to cost the same amount of money to buy a new behind-the-dash iPod connector thingie or buy a new stereo, Gadget Man opted for the new stereo. But I’m guessing you already figured that out since that little detail was pretty much the gist of my first paragraph. I am nothing if not annoyingly repetitive.

ANYWAY, once the new stereo was installed, D began the daunting task of trying to teach me how to use it. I like for electronics to be simple, and one of the great frustrations in my life is that I cannot watch TV in our den with the push of only one button. Remember, I am a child of the UHF era. I guess it’s a wonder that I’m actually able to operate a DVR, but my sheer determination to stay up-to-date with reality television keeps me motivated. I give all credit to Chris Harrison and Jeff Probst. They’re the wind beneath my DVR wings.

So D tried to show me how to use the stereo, but the buttons were very tiny, and they were marked with phrases like SRC and FN and RND. I still don’t know what they mean. I did like the fact that my iPod plugged into the front of the stereo, but whenever I tried to change playlists on the iPod via my stereo controls, I’d end up with some thumping bass or no sound at all in my front speakers. I never did figure out how to scroll through my lists of albums and artists, so when I finally hit a combination of buttons that landed me on the “Shuffle All” setting, I just left it there. And when Alex would request a specific song, all I knew to say was, “MAMA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. WE’LL JUST LISTEN TO WHAT’S NEXT.”

The new stereo also came equipped with a remote, and at first I thought it would be a handy feature. But as it turns out, do you know what you do not need in a moving vehicle? A REMOTE CONTROL. I only used it a couple of times, and both times all I could manage to do was to switch the radio from FM to AM to FM to AM. At one point I couldn’t get any response at all from the remote, and I worried that I was trapped in an episode of “MacGruber” and unintentionally blowing up farmland in some rural area of Kentucky.

It was either that or I was turning people’s TVs off and on while I was waiting at red lights near their homes.

This morning was the breaking point with the fancy stereo and me. I couldn’t seem to make my iPod play, I couldn’t figure out how to scroll through radio stations, and every single time I’d try to find my preset stations I activated some sort of treble boost. To my credit I did not rip the stereo from the dashboard, but I’m pretty sure that I called it some names.

D looked at the stereo this afternoon to see if maybe I had messed up some settings (ENTIRELY POSSIBLE, THAT OPTION), but of course he was able to get it to work with absolutely no problem at all. And even though I’ve tried to be a good sport about the new stereo, and even though I’ve tried to put on a happy face about the fact that it’s way too complicated for me, I finally caved and told D that I didn’t think the new stereo and I were going to be able to work out our issues. We tried. We really did. But we’re just not compatible.

And after about five minutes of D asking, “Are you sure? Really? You don’t like it?” he said the magic words: “Do you want me to return the new stereo and install your old one?”

I nearly wept with relief. My old stereo. The one with the big buttons that say things like POWER and CD and EJECT.

And this time around I’m completely foregoing the iPod connector thingie that ran behind the dash. It was a lovely feature, but if it broke once, it’ll probably break again. I’m just going to use an iPod cassette adapter. And I will be so very happy with it because while it might not be the most cutting-edge technology, I can guarantee you that it will not beep at me.

As you can imagine, I am beside myself with joy.