Okay. We recorded this last week. And it took a sweet forever to get it edited and uploaded and whatnot because we forgot to record an ending, so then we had to go back and record an ending, and then we chased about four hundred rabbits when we recorded the ending, so I decided to just tack on all that stuff, too, because SWEET MERCY, HAVEN’T THE SIX OF YOU WHO LISTEN TO THESE THINGS WAITED LONG ENOUGH?

So besides that, I really don’t know what else to say. Except that Travis does an imitation of Neil Diamond that makes Melanie and me laugh until we wheeze. And we talk about American Idol and NASCAR and our ongoing sound issues and the songs Travis sang in 8th grade chorus. We also answer some of your questions (thanks for those, internets), repeat some stories we’ve told before (JUST LIKE YOUR GREAT UNCLE LARRY! ONLY NOT!) and laugh sort of an obnoxious amount. You should expect no less.

Also: Travis wants the whole world to know that HE PLANTED SOME TREES.

Hallelujah and amen.

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Okay, y’all – I’m a little unprepared for the Idol tonight because I’ve been very busy watching the 100th episode of Dancing With The Stars, so I’m just going to jump feet first into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show and see how it goes.

I hope I don’t get some form of reality show whiplash.

That would be terrible.

David Cook – “Hungry Like The Wolf” – Aside from the fact that I’d like to openly discourage David Cook from wearing a v-neck t-shirt with lots of necklaces (it disturbs me on levels I can’t even begin to articulate), I was kind of excited to hear that he was singing this song, which takes me RIGHT BACK, OH YES IT DOES. However, it seemed like he was too loud – I could barely hear the band – and while that certainly wasn’t his fault, the fact that I couldn’t hear the music took away from the performance from me. Not his best.

“Baba O’Riley” – It seems to me that David C. is at his best when he gets to do songs that have a certain element of angst to them. So in that sense this song was right up his alley. But I don’t think vocally he was as strong as he has been in weeks past – and again, the cadence of this song was so odd that it was difficult for the audience to know how to respond.

Syesha Mercado – “Proud Mary” – NOW HOLD ON – CAREFUL ABOUT TREADING INTO TINA TERRITORY. And all kidding aside, I just thought this was a’ight, mainly because I felt like she was screaming a whole lot. There’s absolutely no way to surpass Tina Turner’s version of this song, and because of that this felt like an impersonation, not an original performance.

“A Change Is Gonna Come” – I thought Syesha looked absolutely beautiful and sounded great. I thought Randy was a little hard on her – and I actually thought it was smart of her to sing a song that’s not typically sung by female performers. So I say well done.

Jason Castro – “I Shot The Sheriff” – I loved hearing Jason with the horns behind him – that was sort of a fun, funky change of pace. But I think this is a hard song for a crowd (and a performer) to handle. There’s no way to really clap or sing along – and because the audience didn’t really know what to do, the whole thing felt disjointed.

“Mr. Tambourine Man” – Okay. I’m sort of thinking that Jason may be ready to go home. And when you combine his song choices with the fact that he forgot the lyrics, I think going home this week may be a pretty attainable goal. I really do love this guy, but it just seems like he’s over it. Did anyone else feel this way?

David Archuleta – “Stand By Me” – Okay. Contrast this song to Jason’s first song. Note the audience’s response. It’s a night and day difference. Anyway, I have contended for a few weeks that David A. doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself, but there was a little more life in him tonight. And he sounded great singing this song, even if he oversings a little bit for my personal taste.

“Love Me Tender” – Does anyone think that David is playing to his teenage audience just a smidge? This was definitely an interesting arrangement, and he sang it well…very nice job with a more understated performance. But even still – and I can’t really explain it – I just wasn’t feelin’ it, dawg. I wanted to triple love it forever and always, but I didn’t. And for some reason I feel like I should apologize for that, thought I have NO IDEA WHY.

Should go: Jason

Will go: Jason

Best of the night: David A.

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“Mama, is it still spring?”

“Mama, I don’t have any syrup on my waffles.”

[makes random truck-type noises]

“Mama, why is all this stuff on the chair in my playroom?”

“Mama, I dropped my fork.”

“Mama, when C. comes over to play, can he take a turn on the Wii?”

“Mama, do I need to wash my hands?”

[more random truck-type noises]

“Mama, can you help me?”

“Daddy, can I have an upside down hug?”

“Mama, I had a bad dream.”

“Mama! I put my clothes on!”

“Mama and Daddy, there were two policemen in my dream, and they dropped us in a hole. But then they got us out of the hole, and they said, ‘HEY, BUD,’ and oooooh, that was a close one.”

“Daddy, this is broken.”

“Daddy, did you fix it? WOOOOOOO!”

“Daddy, can I play Mario Party 8 when I get home from school? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?”

“Daddy, are you taking me to school today? WOOOOOO!”

“Bye, Mama!”

[more random truck noises]

“I love you, Mama!”

And I love you, too, sweet boy.

Today I had a delightful lunch with my hubby and my little man, and when I got home I noticed a FedEx box propped against the front door.

And do you know what was inside that FedEx box? The one and only Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Well, I mean, it’s Mr. Darcy in DVD form. But still. It was a very special moment. And I think we should have ourselves a little giveaway to celebrate.

(However, I should probably warn you that my cousin Paige is visiting right now, and given the fact that she has never met a British romance that she didn’t absolutely love, I’m probably going to have to hide the DVDs for the next 24 hours.)

(In fact, she turned on the TV last night with the sole purpose of catching the last few minutes of “Masterpiece Theatre.” Neveryoumind that I couldn’t even tell her what channel PBS is on because as you know I AM VERY CULTURED AND REFINED.)

So.

If you’d like to win The Romance Collection Special Edition, which is bascially over 30 hours of “star-studded, classic literary adaptations on 14 DVDs” (you can see all the details right here), all you have to do is leave a comment and tell me so. I’ll leave the giveaway open until tomorrow night at 6 o’clock central time, at which point I’ll select a winner using random.org.

And just for kicks, tell me your favorite romantic movie when you leave your comment.

Oh, it’ll be jolly good fun.

(Sorry.)

(I couldn’t help it.)

(Sorry.)

This giveaway is now closed.

Yesterday the husband and I went to Madison, Mississippi for a few hours so that we could go to a party for our friends Todd and Marti. We got there in time to help with just a teensy bit of party set-up before the actual shin-dig started.

(By the way, have you ever watched about ten Southern women set up for a party?)

(No? Well, it is a SIGHT TO BEHOLD.)

(It is also a veritable festival of capri pants, but that is another story for another time.)

D and I had a really wonderful afternoon – lots of good conversation and laughs and whathaveyou – despite the fact that there were a couple of I-may-be-calling-you-“honey”-but-make-no-mistake-I-would-not-renew-our-wedding-vows-right-now-if-you-paid-me-cash-money moments in the car because of my tendency to think that I know a shortcut to pretty much everywhere.

Unfortunately, my directional hubris caused us to drive aimlessly around your various and sundry suburban neighborhoods not once but twice, and we also ended up heading toward Nashville on the Natchez Trace when really all we were trying to do was get to a Barnes & Noble on the other side of the interstate.

(NOTE TO THE INTERNET: ULTIMATELY WE MADE IT TO BARNES & NOBLE, SO CLEARLY I WAS ABLE TO GET US TO OUR DESTINATION, AND IN THE END THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS, THANK YOU.)

D suggested a little bit ago that maybe my problem with directions is that I think I know where I’m going even when I don’t. However, I’m not so sure that it’s an actual “problem” because, HELLO, I’m relational, and taking the occasional road less traveled enables me to become more familiar with my surroundings as well as the people who live in whatever area we’re visiting.

So there’s purpose to my mapless wanderings, you see.

Oh, I do appreciate a good scenic route.

The only exception to this rule is when I can’t seem to find my way to the nearest Popeye’s, in which case I’ll immediately call a friend or family member and ask them to look up the absolute shortest route on Google maps, then plead with them to not hang up the phone until I’ve made it to the drive-thru because I CANNOT RISK A MISSED TURN WHEN FRIED CHICKEN IS AT STAKE.

I’m sure you understand.

So.

Who’s the road trip navigator in your family?

And.

How does he or she pull off this role without making everyone else in the car CRAZY NERVOUS INSANE?

I’m just, you know, wondering.

In the interest of scholarly research and all.

I am sitting in my parents’ living room watching a movie on AMC and checking email. I have no idea what the movie is called, but it has something to do with Natasha Henstridge running from scientists, Marg Helgenberger sporting a mullet and Ben Kingsley attempting to speak with a Brooklyn accent.

Also, Natasha Henstridge seems to have some sort of alien creature growing in her shoulder.

That must be terribly annoying.

Anyway, everyone here has gone to sleep except for me, and I’m in the midst of some fierce spiritual warfare because there’s a strawberry cake in my mama’s refrigerator.

And normally I would just eat the cake and be done with it, but we made a trip to the fish camp tonight, so I’ve already had fried fish and hush puppies and then several more hush puppies (are hush puppies a Southern thing? or are they everywhere? should I conduct a survey?), and I don’t really need to add strawberry cake to the caloric mix.

Of course, I probably didn’t need to add my third, fourth and fifth hush puppies to the mix, either.

However, in my defense, I drank unsweetened tea tonight, so HELLO, CLEARLY I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS.

So Martha went with us to the fish camp and she had on a darling jacket from Steinmart(s), just DARLING, and she could not wait to tell me about her trip to the new Olive Garden(s) in Hattiesburg where she got this chicken, this chicken with the most wonderful citrus sauce and you know their bread is so good! just so good! not to mention the salad which is just really, really tasty, even though she doesn’t really eat a lot of salad, she’s just not a huge fan of salad, but still, it was delicious! and the service! they had the best service! the most wonderful service!

Wonderful!

On the way home from the fish camp Martha told Mama and me all about the most stunning verbena plant she found at Walmart(s) a few days ago, and she said there were blooms everywhere! just everywhere! so many blooms that they took up the whole backseat once Martha and her friends finally wrangled the plant into the car, and Martha was so excited, I mean you can only imagine how excited she was to have found that verbena with all of those deep purple blooms, and she could not WAIT to put it on her patio, she couldn’t wait!

And then she put it on her patio and it was almost completely dead within two days.

And Martha doesn’t think that even she could kill a plant in two days, I mean it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL there at the Walmart(s), but she doesn’t have her ticket anymore and she can’t take it back and she doesn’t know what in the world to do but she’s sick! just sick! because it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL!

So by the time Martha finished her Tale of Verbena Woe (not to be confused with Martha’s friend Rubena, who is also PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL but as far as I know cannot be purchased in the garden center of any local Walmart(s), nor does she, you know, BLOOM), we were back at Martha’s house, and I had no sooner started to put the car in park than my mama was unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the passenger door.

I asked Mama if she was planning to go inside, and she said, “OH NO, I wouldn’t do that – it’s late! But I just want to check on that verbena.” And before I could point out that it was PITCH BLACK DARK, Mama was walking with purpose to the patio.

Which was perfect because then Martha and I had even more time to talk about the fact that THE VERBENA, IT DIED.

Within about two minutes Mama was making her way back to the car and telling Martha to get that plant in a shallow dish of water and out of the direct sun. Because somehow, even in the COMPLETE ABSENCE OF LIGHT, Mama was able to determine that the root system was healthy but the leaves were scorched, and I did not question her diagnosis for even half a second because she has been nursing all manner of plants to freakishly healthy levels since the Eisenhower administration inhabited the White House.

She has a gift, people.

Martha was understandably thrilled by Mama’s specific instructions, and she had an extra spring in her step when she walked in her house. I think she was downright giddy at the prospect of being able to rescue her verbena.

Plus, you know, her jacket looked totally cute with her medallion necklace and monogrammed purse. And that always makes a girl feel sassy.

(Sassy!)

(Just so sassy!)

(Sassy verbena sassy!)

Have a great weekend, y’all.