Okay, all-you-internets-who-are-terribly-distressed-that-the-blog-is-out-of-whack.

Does everything look normal again?

I think I cropped the last round of pictures too big – it looks normal on my monitor, but some people seem to be having trouble, and since I LIVE TO SERVE OTHERS, I’m trying to fix the problem.

Also: everything looks fine on my end of the world. So I’m trying to fix a problem I can’t actually see, and that is loads of fun.

In other words: YOUR HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. :-)

Holla back in the comments.

1) Thank you so, so much for all the great recipes y’all have shared! I’m going to look at all of them a little more closely this weekend and plan what to try next week…Alex and I went to the grocery store this afternoon, and I’m now sufficiently stocked in both pantry items and poultry items that I think I’ll be able to propel myself out of my kitchen-related slump. Tonight I actually uttered the words, “Supper’s ready,” and D. said, “You cooked? Wow!”

2) Anyone know what to do for a dog who’s terrifed of lightning and yelping up a storm? Because I have a yellow lab who is beside herself right about now…the word “inconsolable” comes to mind.

3) Barb’s grandson – and his mama and daddy – could use our prayers.

4) I don’t know if y’all heard, but there’s a new grandmama in Arkansas this week. Diane was the very first person outside of my friends and family members to find my blog, and she has such a sweet, tender heart…I can’t even imagine how much she’s loving rocking that new grandbaby, and I bet this will be her most special Mother’s Day yet.

5) Tonight after supper (DID I MENTION THAT I COOKED?) I let Alex have a cookie. He took one bite, looked at his daddy, then me, and said, “OH, Mama and Daddy. I LOVE SUGAR!”

The child gets it honest. That’s all I’m sayin’.

First, we had a great weekend with lots of food and lots of shopping and lots of coffee. Good grief at the coffee – I think we drank at least seven full pots in 36 hours. I plan to sleep again next Thursday.

Second, here is the purse that called my name from the very second I laid my eyes on it, at which point it whispered sweet nothings into my ear and promised me that, together, we will have the best. summer. evir. – a summer filled with brightly colored flowers and an adorable leather clasp and a strap that is both rope AND leather at an affordable Target price.

Updated to add: Mystery solved. The cap was from a friend – but the company where she ordered it neglected to send the note that she had asked them to include. And just FYI – I knew it had to be someone who knows me – because I don’t exactly broadcast my real name on my blog. So all is well. :-)

A week or so ago I posted images of various and sundry hairstyles that I had created on our Wii. You know, since summer’s on the way and all.

This was one of them:

And yesterday I received an anonymous gift in the mail.

A red ski cap.

Oh, secret internet gift-giver. You are so deliciously witty.

And don’t think for one second that I won’t wear it.

In fact, I’ve already indoctrinated my child:

So thanks, Anonymous Internet Bloggy Someone.

I can honestly say that I don’t have anything else even remotely like it.

You surely do know how to make a mama smile.

GiBee tagged me for this purse meme, and I couldn’t resist. Most of the time I forget all about meme tags and remember about six months later that oh, it completely slipped my mind, but I was supposed to write a post chronicling my four favorite varieties of prunes.

However, this one stayed on my mind because it brought back all those seventh grade memories of girls looking through each other’s purses in social studies class because it was just so interesting, much moreso than the history of the League of Nations or the branches of government or whatnot. Seeing who had what flavors of Bonne Bell Lip Smackers was way more important.

Also, there was an added bonus to doing this meme, because when I grabbed the camera so I could get started on my post, I was able to announce to my husband and my child that I was about to TAKE PICTURES OF MY PURSE FOR THE INTERNET, and you can’t buy those kinds of family memories, people. They’re more precious than gold.

Okay, here’s my purse:

It’s very plain with just a hint of blingage on the handles. I bought it because I seem to do better with a tote-style bag, because a tote-style bag enables me to carry around everything I need, like my wallet and my planner and numerous cans of corn and peas. With a smaller bag you just don’t have those kinds of options.

If you looked into my bag you would see this:

You may think it looks unorganized, but you would be wrong. Aside from the fact that I can never, ever find my keys without shaking the purse like a maraca to make sure that the keys are in fact inside, I like to keep the contents of my purse pretty manageable. And if you notice, I actually use the cell phone pocket as well as what I refer to as the Trusty Mentholatum Pocket.^TM By the way, I could write an entire post about my lifelong addiction to Metholatum and the fact that I AM NEVER WITHOUT IT, EVER.

So while I’m on the subject, let me just say that if the best thing that ever comes my way as a result of blogging is a free case of Mentholatum from the fine folks at The Mentholatum Company in Orchard Park, NY, then I will consider my time spent on the interweb as not only successful, but profitable, because THERE IS NO BETTER LIP OINTMENT IN THE WORLD. You Carmex and Blistex people have no idea what you’re missing.

I’m just sayin’.

This next picture is the most critical item in my purse because without it I’d just sit on my couch all day, staring into space, wondering what in the world I was supposed to be doing:

I took this picture on a Monday night, so the calendar wasn’t really full yet, but now that it’s Wednesday, there is all manner of menus and obligations written in. Also, it’s very important to my OCD side that the datebook be a SHARPIES ONLY ZONE, because if you have not experienced the joy of using a Sharpie on very glossy paper, then you’ve got a lot of livin’ left to do, my friends. Oh yes indeed.

I am now delighted to show you two pens, a Starburst, and half a piece of candy cane:

Feel free to help yourself to the candy, by the way. Believe me – as delicious as it looks in this picture, it’s even more appetizing in person.

MMMMMM-mmm.

It’s probably only been in there since, you know, Christmas, so I’m sure it’s still super fresh and tasty.

Here’s my stash-o-drugs:

I’m supposed to take Clarinex so that I don’t sneeze to death in the spring. The problem is that I forget to take it before an onslaught of sneezing occurs, and then I get outside and start sneezing, so then I take the Clarinex, and the end result is that I become a very drowsy person who is still sneezing. Which means that I rarely take the Clarinex. Which leaves me wondering why I carry it around in my purse.

This is the best gum ever. With the worst name ever. I will not elaborate. Except to say that the gum, it is good. The end.

Also, do not tell my mama that I am chewing gum. Because she would be nothing short of mortified, seeing as how she considers it terribly unladylike and all.

And finally, here are all the little treasures you’ll find in the zippered pocket of my purse: powder, lip liner, lip gloss, two lipsticks (A GIRL NEEDS OPTIONS, OKAY?), and my iPod. Because you just never know when you’re going to need to apply make-up and listen to music at the same time, especially when you’re driving. So it’s better if all of those items STAY TOGETHER. It’s more convenient that way.

I’m sparing y’all the pictures of my package of Kleenex and the notepad where I keep my grocery lists. I’d hate for y’all to have too much excitement in one day, and believe me, the sight of the word “hummus” in my handwriting would send you straight over the edge. We might have to call for a doctor or something.

And if you’re wondering where my sunglasses are, THEY’RE ON MY HEAD, just where they should be, because why, why wouldn’t you wear them on your head at all times, why?

Finally, I believe I am supposed to tag some people to do this. First and foremost I am tagging my dear friend Big Mama because there is no way her purse doesn’t have some zippered pouches within zippered pouches, and I for one need to see that.

I’m also tagging Heth because, with six kids, I think there would have to be at least one animal / insect in her purse at all times. Plus, she’s about to have baby number seven, and what else does she have to do but sit around and take pictures of her purse all day? Those six kids can fend for themselves. They’ll be fine.

And finally, Addie – because my chief goal in life is to make her BLOG MORE.

Plus, you know, the rest of you can consider yourselves tagged, too.

I like for everyone to feel included, you know.

A couple of months ago I got an email from Lynne Bowen Walker, an author who has written a delightful book called Queen of the Castle. It’s such a fun book to read; it’s interactive and inspirational and practical and chatty and everything good…perfect reading for a mama on the go.

Well, today Lynne is starting a blog book tour, and I asked her if I could be the first stop on her tour, primarily because it was way easier for me to remember May 1st than any other date in May.

PRACTICAL AS ALWAYS, I AM.

Not to mention:

WINNING OVER THE AUTHORS OF AMERICA, ONE BLOG POST AT A TIME.

Ahem.

So I asked Lynne a few questions about her book, and she was kind enough to participate in my amateurish interviewing efforts, oh bless her heart:

What in the world made you decide to write a book? And once you decided to write one, how in the world did you find time to tackle it?

It was kind of accidental, really. I kept finding myself writing magazine articles, all on the topic of The Importance of Being a Homemaker. After about 20 or so, it finally dawned on me that homemaking was my passion, and that even though I’m not exactly gifted at it, maybe I should write a book encouraging other women who love their homes and families but could use a little help.

And the joy of being forgetful is that every time I pick up the book and read a little, I think, “Oh! What a good idea!” I clearly really really need to read this book myself.

As for finding time, I wrote it in short bits, while waiting for my kids to be done with Little League practice, while I was in the auditorium waiting for the band concert to start, that kind of thing. I ran into one of my son’s football coaches recently, and after learning that I wrote a book, he said, “Oh yeah, I always did see you waiting in the car reading or writing something!”

Where did you get all the great “words of the week” that you feature? And how did you decide what would go into each chapter?

I love to read, and a lot of the authors I read use really big words. So as I came across words I didn’t know, I looked them up, then put my favorites in Queen of the Castle along with the definitions. Now we can all use really big words. :)

Deciding on what to include in each chapter came about because I love magazines, so I looked at each chapter as three short magazine essays plus some practical sidebars. When I came across great quotes or recipes that seemed too good not to share, I threw those in, too.

At the end of each chapter I included a Bible verse and a prayer, because any wisdom I have on how to live life as a homemaker comes from the Bible, and any strength I have to carry out what I know comes from asking God for help.

I also included a “Chocolate Break” at the end of every month because a girl’s just gotta have her chocolate. Otherwise we get cranky.

What audience did you have in mind when you wrote this book?

I figured moms of little ones would be interested in reading books about how to get their kids to stop biting, and moms of older ones would be interested in reading about how to get their kids into a good college, so it was that middle stage of motherhood that I pictured as I wrote – the moms who were heavy into chauffeuring kids to soccer practice, and who spent most of their spare time in the laundry room trying to determine if that was blood on the shirt and how exactly it might have gotten there.

But I’ve been gratified to hear that women of all ages have enjoyed the book, especially those who are grandmas and even great-grandmas. I think Queen of the Castle kind of celebrates the job we do in raising our families, and women who’ve already done that job appreciate being recognized.

Would if offend you to know that I kept my copy in the, um, bathroom, and that’s where I would read it, a few pages at the time, because it’s QUIET IN THERE?

Not at all, I think it’s a perfect bathroom book! And many moms would be envious that you actually get some quiet time in there.

I’ve also heard that it’s a good right-before-bed book, when you can barely keep your eyes open but want just a few minutes of reading time before dropping off to sleep.

There are so many great quotes and great recipes in your book – as I read, I thought that you must have been collecting both for years. Did you? Or did you accumulate them all as you wrote?

I did collect them for years. And I wrote the book over a period of years, too. So while it was at times frustrating to make such slow progress on writing the book, I think in the end it made it richer than it would have been had I been able to knock it out quickly.

What’s the best way for someone to order a copy of your book – and to make sure that they have it in time for Mother’s Day? (It’s a perfect Mother’s Day gift, you know.)

Thank you for the blatant plug, Boomama! Christianbook.com and Amazon.com both carry it, and I think they can ship pretty fast. Also, some Christian bookstores and Borders and Barnes and Noble stores carry it, so if you need a copy right away you might give your local bookstore a call to see if they have it.

Just for the record, I don’t believe I’ve ever been referred to as The Queen Of The Castle.

But The Queen of Fried Chicken? You betcha.

It’s a title I wear with pride.

And I’ll never relinquish my throne.