I have long been fascinated by people who are cold all the time. You know who I’m talking about…usually it’s women who constantly hold their warm coffee mug up against their faces, who grab the sides of the mug as if their continued existence depends on soaking every bit of heat away from the coffee itself and into their permanently chilled bodies. These women are often seen donning scarves indoors and visibly shivering in office buildings where more often than not the thermostat is being controlled by a computer somewhere in India.
For the record, I am not one of those women.
And if you’re wondering why I’m even thinking about all of this, I have a very simple answer: because, well, it’s hot.
Now I know some of y’all enjoy balmy breezes and love to open your windows and let the fresh air pour into your homes. Some of y’all probably even enjoy sleeping outside, regardless of the fact there is no THERMOSTAT in the out of doors to enable you to CONTROL the TEMPERATURE. Some of you probably don’t even run your air conditioners, and you should know right now that the thought of someone having access to an air conditioner and opting out of using it creates a swirling vortex of confusion in my brain. Why? Why would you do that? Why?
Keep in mind that we’ve had our air conditioner on since the first of March, and we will turn it off in November.
Maybe.
The fact of the matter is that I don’t like to be hot. I’m okay with it when I know to expect it, like if I’m chasing Alex outside in the middle of July or if I go walking at noon when it’s 101 outside with 98% humidity. But I do not feel that it is God’s will for my life to ever, EVER be hot when I’m indoors. In fact, I do not feel that it is God’s will for my life to ever exist in an environment with a temperature above approximately 72 degrees, because He loves me and wants for me to be happy so that I can glorify Him. I can do no glorifying when the thermostat reads 73 or higher.
I feel that God understands that.
Eight or nine months ago David replaced our downstairs thermostat with one of those fancy digital thingamajigs that enables you to program the temperature of your home at all points in the day. He bought the silly gadget because he thought it would take the ambiguity out of our temperature interpretations (I read the old one by the top of the red line; he read it by the bottom; I imagine we were supposed to use the middle, but oh well). Anyway, it’s hard to argue temperature when you see “71” on an LCD screen.
The problem, however, is that we’ve never figured out how to work it. It has a mind of its own and decides that in the early mornings our house should be 75 degrees, then 73 degrees around noon, and then back up to 75 degrees around 3:00.
75 degrees at 3 o’clock in the afternoon?!?! INDOORS?!?! That is the craziest crazy talk of all the crazy talking I’ve ever heard.
It stresses me out because I feel that the very essence of comfort in my own home has been compromised, and as such I am waging war on the thermostat beast. My project for this weekend is to convince the stubborn thing that our house will be 70 degrees. Period. Unless I decide to override the system while I’m cleaning the house and take ‘er down to a comfy 68.
My friends Elise and Daphne are my total soul sisters on this issue. Elise keeps her thermostat on 68 in the summertime, and when I asked her one time how she afforded the summertime power bills with three boys constantly going in and out of the house, she said, “It’s a matter of priorities. We may not have the fanciest cars or the fanciest house, but we’re always going to do two things in our home: 1) eat and 2) be cool.”
It almost brought tears to my eyes, so beautiful were those words, so close to my heart were her sentiments.
I WILL conquer the thermostat. I WILL find a way to create an uncompromsing level of air conditioned comfort in my house. And when I figure it out, y’all are welcome to visit and experience our comfortably cool indoor environment.
But if you’re one of those women I mentioned at the beginning of this post, you might want to bring a sweater along for the ride.
And I still don’t know how Mama and Daddy stayed in their house for a WEEK without power after the hurricane. No air conditioning in August? I wouldn’t sleep a wink.
I’m sitting in my office freezing.
Is your air conditioner controlled by a computer in India? :-)
D sounds like Paul S. squeezing those pennies. Tell him I said to crank her down and get to working harder. Nothing is worse than a hot house.
You are very fortunate that you like it cool in your house. I would prefer 74 degrees all of the time and my husband would prefer 70. Oh, the thermostat wars!!!
By the way, I still like to control the temperature indoors. We turn our air on in March sometimes too until November.
You know good and well that the problem isn’t that D wants to pinch pennies. :-) The problem is that we don’t know how to override the factory settings on that stupid thermostat. You’ve obviously never heard him walk into his mama’s house saying, “OH MY WORD I can’t breathe. What’s the thermostat on? 85?” And then he knocks it down to about 68 and Martha and Sissie have to put jackets on. He likes to be hot about has much as you do….
Let me say that I agree with you on all points, boomama. How many times have you heard someone say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity?” BALONEY!! I don’t care if it’s dry as a powder house, as my Mama used to say. Hot is hot, no matter the relative humidity, whatever that is. ;)
I have to put extra cover (does anybody else call them covers or bedclothes?) on Lamar’s side of the bed, and I sleep under a fan.
I have been hot-natured all my life, but I am doing a turn-around lately. I am cold when noone else is chilly. I don’t know if it’s physical, or what.
I don’t know about you, but I HATE to sweat. It would have been just fine with me if God had left that “SWEAT of your brow” thing out of Genesis. :)
Good job, boomama. :)
We now have the programmable thermostat, but we have NO idea how to program it (previous owners took, lost, etc. that stuff). These same previous owners had some CRAZY settings (as in heat on 75 in the am– Jody would wake up sweating and ANGRY)– so we just hit “Hold temperature” and use the appropriate arrows. That probably doesn’t help your situation, though, if you are looking to really regulate! :-)
Two other things that are unrelated–1) Jody does have strep. “Be quiet! Your daddy is sleeping.” If I had a nickel for each time….
2) Muchas gracias for my card, but what does “viejas” mean? :-)
I’ll probably bring a sweater to your house. I HATE to be hot outside b/c I’m a sweater, but when I’m inside a restaurant or public building I’m usually cold.
Well, you could move to the Pacific NW. We don’t get too many days ofver 70 degrees. Drop me a note if you decide that since it’s God’s will that you not be hot, it must be God’s will for you to move up here. ;-)
First of all, I had to take Alex to a birthday party this afternoon, and D wants for everyone to know that he had the thermostat on a cool 69 degrees when I got home. I don’t know if he got the programming straightened out, though.
Janna, the only time we have real temperature wars is in the winter, when I would like a smidgen of heat in the mornings and D could care less if we ever turned on the heat at all. But in the summer, we stay pretty much in agreement.
Diane – you have the funniest expressions. “Dry as a powder house”? – that one’s going into my rotation.
Lou, “viejas” means “OLD.” :-) And I am so, so sorry about Jody…I’m sending prayers your way for the weekend!
Merritt, you can also snuggle up under a comforter while you’re here and watch entire seasons of TV shows on DVD to your heart’s content. :-)
And Jennifer, you really CAN keep your windows open with those temperatures…must be nice indeed.
I am SOOOOOO relieved someone else has similar issues. I installed the “fancy” programmable thermostats in the fall to conserve energy ( and shocking utility bills ). I was fine with the “factory” settings for heat, but then I flipped to cooling and was completely taken aback.
Here’s why…..and I’m quoting from the informational leaflet that came with the darn thing.
6am to 8am – 78 degrees
8am to 4pm – 85 degrees
4pm to 10pm – 78 degrees
10pm to 6am – 82 degrees
Not ONE number below 72!!! I’m overriding the system 24/7!! And as boomama knows, I’m challenged in this arena. She just taught me to link websites to emails. Today as a matter of fact.
I’ve read til I’m blue in the face…If that sweet D can program yours, please give me advice. I’ll fly him up for the day!
Some of you were there, but the truth about Boomama and Boodaddy’s need for “conditioned” air was quite evident the day they exchanged vows. You could have hung MEAT in that church. A match made heaven!
You are a LUCKY boy Alex!
Aside from actually, you know, marrying me, D.’s other mission for our wedding day was to ensure that the sanctuary never, ever got hot. I really think he bumped the thermostat down to the high 50’s, but I’ll have to verify that.
Bubba, he actually did get our thermostat straightened out while Alex and I were away this afternoon. Maybe he can walk you through the process over the phone. I’m sorry, but an 85 degree home is OBSCENE. No one should have to live under such conditions. And I’m sorry, but trying to sleep when it’s 82 degrees indoors? You might as well pitch a tent in your front yard and call it a campout.
Call me tomorrow and tell me what kind of thermostat you have…maybe we can get you cool and comfortable, too. It has been a DELIGHTFUL temperature in our house tonight.
I was holding my coffee cup up to my face as I read this. I was starting to believe that you and I might one be fast friends but now I’m wondering how we’ll make it work? I hate being cold! I would absolutley die if I had to live in a house that COLD all summer.
Now I’m sad!
Lauren –
I will always compromise for the sake of friendship. :-) And my mother-in-law has figured out that when she’s visiting and has had all the cold she can take (she’s VERY cold-natured), she can just flip off the vents in the guest room and warm up in no time.
I really think my obsession with being cool is in part a result of living in south Louisiana for three years…it quite literally is like being in a sauna in the summertime (thick, stifling, damp heat). It’s almost like I anticipate that heat at that level might be on it’s way, so I have to go on the offensive. :-)
Sigh. I am one of those poor freezing souls. Pity me, please. I sport blue fingernails on a regular basis and I huddle in thick heavy wool sweaters. An electric blanket lives on my couch for my tv watching and reading. Until I started wearing warmer pajamas, I used to take a homemade rice bag to bed for my feet. What on earth is THAT, you ask? Well, it’s a towel sewn into a sleeve type thingy and filled with uncooked rice which you then microwave until it’s hot. You then use it as a portable heating pad. I’ve used those for YEARS. It’s the only way I’ve survived!! The problem, though, is that then all fall, winter, and spring, my clothes and house smell like burned rice. NOT a pleasant smell. So, just this year I decided I needed to stop reeking of said smell and I THREW THEM AWAY. Yes, all three or four of them. It was difficult. Sniffle. I do have air conditioning and I do use it in the summer, but just to a small degree….nothing worse than coming in from the hot outdoors into FREEZING indoors. I HATE that. My husband and I have constant thermostat wars…he turns it down and I turn it up. We have a nifty programmable one, too, but I always override it. Oh, and we always go to Disney World (you know, in FLORIDA….) in AUGUST. I won’t go ANY other time of year!! Florida in August is IDEAL!!!
So, I guess I can’t come visit you unless I bring my electric blanket…