Whereby I Create A Model For A Pointless Post

This morning around 4 I was awakened by Much Screaming And Wailing On The Part Of The Child, so I jumped out of bed and ran to the stairs. Before I could get past the landing, Alex started walking down the stairs to me, arms outstretched, breath ragged, tears flowing, and all he could manage to say was, “Mama? I’m wet.”

Which is officially the World’s Greatest Understatement. I know because in between all the clothes changing and sheet changing I logged on to the interweb and typed in those very words and won the 2006 World’s Greatest Understatement Contest.

Okay. Maybe not.

But the child wasn’t kidding about the wet thing.

He was soaked from his neck to his toes, and I have no idea how so much fluid could come out of One So Small, but if measurements had been available, I feel quite certain it would have been a gallon’s worth. Plus or minus a quart.

So I pulled his clothes off of him, found some clean underwear and pajamas in the dryer, and then had to venture back upstairs to get his Froggy and Monkey who gratefully were spared the middle of the night baptism. Well, I guess technically they WERE baptized if they’re Methodist or Episcopalian, because they had definitely been sprinkled.

But the Baptists would never count that.

OH I kid because I’m exhausted. I know that stuffed animals can’t be baptized.

Especially not with tee-tee.

And then there’s that pesky business about how they don’t have a soul and all, so they’re not so big on the repentance thing.


I need to straighten up the house a bit before I hit the road and head to my cousin’s baby shower.

And, you know, get dressed.

Have a lovely Saturday.

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  1. You sound like you got as much sleep as I did! I was up at 3:30 with Reia saying she had a bad dream. I told her I did too and this was it. Ah, the joys of motherhood. Gotta love it. Which, of course, I do.

    Have a great day at the shower!

  2. Nothing like that jarring awakening at 4 am to clean up a wet kid and change a bed to get you in the mood for a long drive, LOL. ;-) You haven’t said anything in a while about any potty training difficulties, so I assume he’s been doing pretty good. It’s normal for him to have a relapse now and then, but it sure is nerve wracking and exhausting to have to deal with it at night. Hope you get a chance to rest today, and a good sleep tonight.

    Jessica’s getting married in December and making me a Grandma in April, so I’ll be revisiting ye olden days o’ potty training myself in the not too distant future. :-)

    Be careful travelling, and I hope the shower goes well and Paige gets lots of goodies for the young’un. :-)

  3. way to throw in a little theological debate in the midst of bedwetting – you rock my face off

  4. Oh My Gosh…too funny. My youngest once woke me up and said the more appropriate “I peed. EVERYWHERE!” and he was quite right, and I am afraid to admit, maybe a little proud.

  5. Man, I HATE it when that happens to my husband! Good thing we don’t have stuffed animals ;)

    Just kidding. Boy wouldn’t he love THAT comment? Good thing he doesn’t blog!! Have fun at the shower!

  6. I firmly believe that’s why God made babies and toddlers so dang cute – so they would survive the diaper & potty training stages.

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

  7. You are such a good writer. I’d publish that. Put that one in your file.

  8. A bath before a shower- but what I want to know is what did you give him to drink last night? We would all like to avoid it.

  9. The joys of toddlerhood! Poor little guy, it must’ve really scared him!

  10. There is great beauty to be able to find humor in those 4 am wake-ups!

  11. Nothing wrecks a good night’s sleep like having to get up and change clothes and bedding for a toddler.

    You’ve probably already thought of this but here’s what I did. I cut off the liquids about two hours before bedtime. When I did that, the middle-of-the-night accidents stopped.

    I hope you have a blast at the shower. I love, love baby showers.

  12. I’m beginning to think I should just rent myself out for middle of the night emergencies. I am getting so little sleep anyway I might just as well. I thought once the nest was empty you were supposed to be able to sleep through the night (with all that quiet and everything). All that to say….I would have been glad to help you out!

  13. Got here through Maggie’s blog, and I agree with her comment too, that’s really cutely written lol made me laugh! Adorable, good work!
    Bless ya,

  14. Little Miss seems to do about once a week. Not fun at all. I gotten to where I have several layers of sheets and pads and that way I can just remove a few layers and let her go back to bed.

  15. Sounds a bit like my Saturday…I posted it too. Kids are amazing.

  16. When nights like that happen, I turn into the supervillan called “one-ugly-momma”. I hate nights like that.
    Had my own share of pee, or vomit, or poo all over! Just today cleaned some very suspisious looking brown smears off the bathroom wall. I didn’t ask any questions, just used the dissinfectant.

  17. You might be the funniest person I ever read. And I’ve read some funny people.

    Thanks for making my morning!

    Glad you got the middle-of-the-night-mess taken care of;)

  18. Oh you have some funny posts! This one was a classic. Thanks for sharing your talents with the rest of the world.

  19. What do you mean “stuffed animals can’t be baptized”? I’m covering the ears of all the ones I grew up with, they pretty much thought they were “in”. Oh well!!! all that dunking for nuttin!!!!

  20. LOL! I should stick this post on the wall and refer to it any time I feel a twinge of regret at no longer having small children in the house…

    As for baptising stuffed animals, I reckon it’s OK that they don’t repent because they don’t actually sin. And sprinkling is just fine in my view. As Paul says somewhere which I’m too lazy to look up right now, Noah was a ‘type’ looking forward to baptism. Noah probably got sprinkled with the rain, but it was only the ungodly rest-of-the-world who got completely immersed…

  21. ROFL – that is so funny! I remember a few of those nights with Big Brother…I can’t wait for my twins to reach that age… :-)

  22. Sounds like quite the adventure! I love when stuff like that happens. How come nobody tells you that stuff while you’re thinking about getting pregnant anyway?
    Guess, it’s something you gotta learn as you go along : )

  23. poor little guy
    we’ve been there
    have a good day

  24. Hey, the same thing happened to me last night. Except that I was glad to see cabbage patch dolls unbaptized!

  25. Great stuff! “Maggie” sent me over. I remember the last vomit accident my Meg had–broccoli and chicken–oh, the scent! And it was everywhere! 2 AM, full bath, sheet changing and shampooing of the mattress and carpet. Not a good night. The joys of motherhood are endless, as are the guilt trips we can give them later ;)