Because Narrative Structure Would Be Far Too Ambitious

1. My mama is here helping us pack up the house. There’s not much I can say about that except for PRAISE THE LORD, OH PRAISE HIM.

2. Friday afternoon D walked into our bathroom and noticed that something had, um, backed up into the shower. As it turns out, that something was the septic tank.


It took the better part of an hour to find someone to come check out the very obvious plumbing malfunction, and while I was really hoping to secure the services of the company whose slogan is “We’re #1 in the #2 Business,” they were apparently so mired down in #2 problems that they couldn’t bother to answer the phone.

When I finally found a nice man who was willing to make a service call, he gave us the following diagnosis: the septic pump motor is “burned up” (my response: septic pumps have MOTORS? Who knew?).

He’s repairing it in the morning, after he, you know, digs a seven foot hole in our yard.

To the tune of $900.

Which I really can’t talk about right now or I’ll throw up.

Because I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not but we are moving in a couple of weeks.

And the moving has a tendency to get a bit expensive, what with buying another house and all.


3. On a happier note, my cousin Paige is in the hospital as I type this, and we should have a brand new family member sometime within the next 24 hours.


4. My beloved Mississippi State Bulldogs trounced Loyola Marymount in basketball tonight, and I made the first of what will be many, many mid-game phone calls this season to my friend Daph and my sister. I do LOVE ME SOME BASKETBALL, and there’s nothing quite like a slam dunk to make a girl forget about the fact that she has some septic “issues” going on in her backyard.

5. Did anyone catch the preview for next week’s “Bachelor” at the end of tonight’s show?

Did anyone notice THE SINGLE TEAR from Lorenzo? (Big Mama, I know you did).

I clapped my hands.

6. MSU vs. Arkansas in football this Saturday.

You ready, Shannon?

[she asks, sheepishly]

7. I’ll be back tomorrow with more septic-related fun!

And you can only get that here, my friends.

You can only get that here.

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  1. I always laugh so much while reading your blog!! Stop it! You make me feel bad, I mean you are having SEPTIC issues, and I am laughing!

    Please accept my apologies, and I hope your problems get worked out :)

    And thank you for blogging!

  2. Lea Margaret says:

    Our basketball team does look good. They were most impressive tonight. I hope it is the sign of things to come this season!

  3. We have had septic issues in a house. But, BooMama, a burned up motor? What are ya’ll eating?!

  4. Oh, you know me well.

    I’ve always believed that nothing says sincerity like a single tear down the cheek.

    Maybe you can cry a single tear while they dig that $900 trench in your yard. :)

  5. I almost cried a single tear for your septic woes until I read Big Mama’s comment, which just made me snort. You two should go on the road together! I’d pay BIG MONEY to listen to you both:)

    Sorry for the poo problems. But yay for Paige!

  6. Phyllis R. says:

    Oh, I do so feel for you. When the nice lady who bid on our last house invited Mister Obsessive-Compulsive Inspector Man to check out her new house REAL GOOD, he put a RAG over the drain in an upstairs shower and turned the water on full tilt. As she and I were having an oh-so-cordial chat in the downstairs den, waiting for the gold-star inspection sticker, a RIVER, lo Niagara Falls, burst forth from the A.C. vent right behind her head. Seems Mr. OCD had created his own little aquatic, VERY expensive, science experiment upstairs. Good times.

    P.S. Turns out she did go ahead and buy our house, but only AFTER a good bit of the childrens’ college funds were spent on HER new shower/sheetrock/paint/carpet/………I’m sorry for you BooMama, I truly am. I hope the new house makes up for this stuff.

  7. Septic fun? What else would we expect from BM The Blawg.

  8. Good grief, girl. I am sooo sorry about the MESS in your shower.

    Oh, the perils of owning a septic tank.

    I pray peace on you! And NOTHING else!

  9. you and shannon both have hilarious poop issues today. sorry that yours are so expensive.

    my husband is ready for the game. he is so excited about arkansas right now he can barely sleep.

    happy moving!

  10. “#1 in the #2 business” had me rolling around on the floor laughing. Then I read Melanie’s comment. Oh my word, it’s just way too early in the day to be coming over here.

  11. after the septic issues, we would HAVE to move. my husband would never again set foot into that tub. he has, shall we say ISSUES, with poo, and germs, and bathtubs.

  12. Go Hogs! (go check out
    Pig in

  13. Ah yes…moving? A closing coming up? Yep that’s when things break! Or in our case a car drives across your lawn requiring the replacement of bushes that (since we were moving) we didn’t really care about! Hopefully homeowners insurance? In anycase, good luck!

  14. $900 — GULP — DOLLARS? As in … nine[lalalala]hundred[lalalala]dollars!

    I am SOOOO praying for your sanity, girl! And for that money tree, too!

  15. Bring. It. On.

  16. Shannon – I laughed out loud reading your comment, because all I could think of was the line from the movie Bring It On:

    “OH, it’s already been brought’n.”


  17. Sorry I missed your call last night, but when I got your voicemail, I smiled and told Jimmy, “I know basketball season has started, because S is a-callin'” And, it makes me happy. Are you going to the B-ball game Saturday?

    Also, during the first week we were in our current house, I wrote a check for exactly $900 to have our septic tank fixed. We didn’t even know we had a septic tank!

  18. YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!! Tonight is the Final dance of Mario and Emmit!
    BooMama – I am soooo disappointed in you! ;-)

  19. Ohhhh septic issues!

    And, yes I saw the one tear, pretty impressive I migh add.

    My vote is for Sadie!

  20. $900 on a house I’m about to move out of? That would make me cry too.

  21. That whole septic thing sounds like something that would happen to me. *sigh*.
    In other news, I will actually get to go to the MSU/Arkansas game this weekend! And I will be sitting by my brother and not be allowed to talk to him the whole time. Fanatic fan, he is. So much for socializing at a football game~ Good luck with all the packing!

  22. Sister,
    Re: The Bachelor preview. Think Tom in “Broadcast News” when he interviews the date rape victim. Dead ringer impersonation. :)

  23. Couldn’t it have waited TWO MORE WEEKS???

  24. Have I ever mentioned that I grew up in AR and actually attended the University of Arkansas before transferring to Union and befriending sweet Sarah?

    Gotta go with the Hogs on this one!!


  25. salt and pepper–
    pb and j–
    bacon and eggs–
    birds and bees
    cats and dogs
    lemons and limes–
    BM and septic tanks…..I’m sorry but they DO GO TOGETHER…..trying NOT TO LAUGH, but you just make everything FUNNY!!! Hope your poo woes are doing better soon! ;-)

  26. We have septic. I didn’t know there was a pump. A pump for the well, yes, but septic never occured to me. Better check it out:O. Sorry about the $900.00. I’m just sick for you (and to be moving too). Hope things get better and less expensive.

  27. Every time I think about moving to a place on the hillside I stop and remind myself they have sceptic and wells. Good luck–

  28. Go Razorbacks!….Woooooo. PIG! Soooey!

    My job as official Hog Caller for the BooMama Blawg is done. ;-)

  29. Hogette here….
    I posted about the Hogs a couple of days ago.
    True, I now live in KY country, but I am a Hog!!

    Woo Pig Soiiee!!!