Because Those Pins And Needles Must Be Mighty Uncomfortable

Here, at long last, is what Alex named the seven goslings that we discovered behind our house:

Go Diego Go (not just “Diego,” mind you)
Blue’s Clues
Fresh Market
and, my personal favorite: Baby Geese

Unfortunately, we haven’t seen that particular group-o-geese since Alex named all of the babies, so either they were terribly offended by his name choices or they found a new home where they could be known only as “HOOOONK” (like all the other babies) without having to a listen to a four year old screaming, “LOOK! MAMA! IT’S FRESH MARKET!” at various points in the day.

Also, here is my new favorite name for a gosling, and I just thought of it about four seconds ago:

Honk Williams, Jr.

BADA-BING! Thank you and good night! Thank you. Thank you so much.

The other goose family – the one with four goslings – is now a family of three goslings, and I really can’t think about it for too long because YOU JUST KNOW THAT SNAKE WAS UP TO NO GOOD.

Up later: exciting details about a SQUIRREL!

(I’m really not kidding. We have an Official Squirrel Nemesis. I have photographic evidence. I’m considering contacting the authorities or, at the very least, the squirrel’s parents. Because he so needs to be grounded.)

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  1. My favorite is Fresh Market. That is too funny.

    And I love the Hank Williams’ Jr. one too. You can’t live in the south without a gosling named Hank.

    ;) Michelle

  2. Rocks in my Dryer says:

    I’m thinking it would be very stressful for a goose to be named Fresh Market. Like, he thought Alex was about to turn him to dinner, or something.

  3. Snake, Schmake. He’s just off at youth camp. I’m not in denial at all (just let me paint it my way.)

    Honk Williams Jr. LOL! Love it. How ’bout a GANDERson Cooper to go with?

  4. “grounded” HA!

    I think if someone was calling one of my young ‘uns Fresh Market I’d probably hightail it out of there too. You might as well be calling him Dinner.

  5. We also have a few squirrels who seriously need a time-out. They make my husband so crazy the he sometimes just has to stand at the deck door, shake his fist and say “Squir-rrrrr-els!” (like the bad guys in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” say “Jonesssss!)
    He also squirts them with squirt guns – humane, but boy do they hate that! (plus, it’s safe target practice – if you need that kind of thing!)

  6. I love HOnk Williams…Too funny!!!

    God bless,

  7. “Honk Williams, Jr.” You do crack me up, BooMama!

    I love the names Alex picked for the seven goslings. Yes, my favorite is “Fresh Market”. I can just imagine him standing out there calling that name.

    Too cute!

  8. Stephanie from Rhode Island says:

    too funny!

  9. No dice on Dooce, eh?

    Suit yourself.

    Can a snake eat a goose? Even a baby one?

  10. Snake? What snake! Are you kidding me? Oh no. I’m not even going to think about it because yes, Lori, a big snake can eat a little goose. Just one more reason to hate a snake.

  11. Oooh, this was fun to read! I love that you can make even reading about geese so fun! :)

  12. Honk Williams Jr. Hee!

  13. so it would weird you out if i told you that my dad had pet squirrels (yes, they ACTUALLY lived in the house – INVITED) when he was younger???

    oh the stories I could tell about those.

    (one actually electrocuted himself from chewing on the tv outlet cord…)


  14. I’m with Rock on the Fresh Market thing… It would give me a complex if I were that gosling.

    And Honk Williams, Jr? You should take yourself on the road…

  15. Alex is as funny as his mama.

  16. Fresh Market would be really hard name to grow up with. Kinda like Golden Brown or Juicy Tender or Roast or Cooked

    Shut up already.

    I agree with Sarah In The Midst Of It – you can make green-pooping, mess-making baby geese funny to read about.

  17. The names at our house would have been:

    Elmo (or Melmo in triplet speak)
    Bah bihdr (aka Bob the Builder)
    Big Bird
    and Wake up Jeff

  18. I can tell by the names that you have great taste in grocery shopping. :>)

    At least he didn’t name of them

  19. Phyllis R. says:

    There’s apparently a new spot on “The View” for a funny woman. I vote you. Seriously. Only you could take a ducke, a supermarket, and a critter and weave them together into some funny stuff.

    P.S. Your funny bone serves a humanitarian purpose tonight: after watching “American Idol” for the last 2 hours and bawling like a baby, I need THIS! Have you been watching? I’m ready to sell all I own and take up all the causes.

  20. Phyllis R. says:

    I meant “duck” – “ducke” is the French form. : ) That’s what I get for trying to write a comment and watch TV.

  21. That boy is creative. We currently have two teddy bears named “Teddy” and a cat with a name but is usually called “Kitty.”

  22. Of course, all of Alex’s name selections are better than “Christmas Dinner.”

    I say he’s a boy sensitive to a goslings needs.

  23. Squirrels… we had one once, when we lived in upstate new york. He would climb up our deck screen and torment our dog. it was a nightmare. I hated that squirrel!

    The names are fantastic! the first time our little girl named anything (wouldn’t you know it, it was that dumb squirrel) she named him “sinnifer”. What does that even mean? at least your geese have sensible names!

  24. I just love your blog – you are to funny, I always come away with a smile! THANKS

  25. I thought he would have named one of them “Publix”.

    Maybe Baby Goosey will soon make an appearance. I thought that our very own Sammy the Salamander, who has lived underneath our patio for years, was a goner after we were visited by The Longest Snake In The History Of The World last Memorial Day. It seems that Sammy either went in the Witness Protection Program or had a girlfriend last summer, because he is back! Maybe Baby Goosey is just temporarily M.I.A.

  26. This has nothing to do with the goslings, but you reminded me of it with the Honk Williams thing. There’a street near my house called John Hawkins Parkway. Recently, a chinese restaurant opened and on their menus (of which I’m sure they ordered 1,000) was printed…”John Honking Parkway”! Not kidding…I laughed and laughed. Can’t you just hear them saying that!

  27. I love those names! Especially Honk Williams, Jr.
    I wish we had a family of ducks in our yard. All we get are toads making nice, loud “glumpglomp” noises all night long.
    It may make me a bad person, but I don’t really care much if a snake eats them.

  28. How ’bout Ryan Gosling and Rachel McDuckums?

  29. He has a brother in law named Honk Aaron…used to play ball for the Bills


  30. I have never, IN MY LIFE, laughed out loud while reading a blog post. Not until I read this one, and the one about the bread. Oh my dear goodness. I was laughing so hard my eyes were tearing up. I simply adore your sense of humor BooMama. Honk Williams Jr. was GREAT! LOL! Ta for now dahling!

  31. Honk Williams Jr. LOL Brilliant!

  32. ‘Honk’ just made me snort. I’m just glad I’m home alone tonight. My husband always makes fun of me when I start snorting when I’m reading blogs.