It’ll Take A Few Days To Process It All

We are in Mississippi, here to celebrate Sissie’s 97th birthday.

Say it with me, slowly: NINETY SEVEN YEARS YOUNG.


D., Alex and I drove over here today, but we didn’t get on the road until around 10:30 because we had a meeting at home this morning. The plan was that D. would drop Alex and me off at Martha’s house, then go out to the nursing home and pick up Sissie for her birthday lunch.

Well, when he got to the nursing home a little after 1:00, Sissie was none too pleased. She had parked her wheelchair by the front door BECAUSE SHE WAS READY TO GO, and when D. walked in, she said, “WELL, I’VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE, WAITING FOR YOU.”

So D. tried to smooth everything over by explaining that it wasn’t too far past 1, that we were running a little late, and before he could finish his sentence Sissie sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, “IT’S ONE-OH-NINE!”

Obviously, she has really mellowed with age.

Once D. and Sissie arrived at the house, we all sat down to enjoy the lunch that Martha had prepared: baked chicken, meatloaf, creamed potatoes, potato casserole (if one kind of potatoes is good, then two is certainly better), apricot salad, butterbeans, English peas, rolls, birthday cake, caramel cake, strawberry cake and sweet tea.

So basically, you know, sugar and meat.

After we ate lunch and opened presents and RECOVERED FROM THE SUGAR COMA, Martha couldn’t wait to show me a skirt she bought yesterday. And she got so excited when she pulled the skirt out of her closet that she also pulled out the jacket! that she plans to wear! with the skirt! to church tomorrow! because you know the sanctuary just gets cold! it gets so cold! and hold on! look at the shirt that goes underneath the jacket!

And then she draped it all across the foot of the bed as if the bedspread were a mannequin, and she gazed upon her new outfit with love, and she was proud.

I thought for a moment that she was going to embrace me out of sheer happiness in the midst of the tender fashion moment that we’d shared.

But then her friend Mary Ann rang the doorbell and the moment was over because Martha really needed to explain to Mary Ann that even though she didn’t make it to Miss Veda’s funeral this morning, she did make it to visitation at the funeral home last night, because really, between Sissie’s birthday and the children coming for lunch and trying to set the table and baking the caramel cake and having to run to the Walmarts and looking for flowers for the beds in the back of the house because she really wants purple and gold flowers, but do you know how hard that is because they just don’t have ANYTHING in those colors right now, not anything, and the yard man told her that the ferns back there were dead, so she had him rip them out and throw them away, but then she heard that the ferns probably would have come back, but there’s just nothing she can do! nothing she can do! they’re gone! so there was just no way that she could have made it to the funeral, but she did go to the visitation, she did.

Also, this is completely unrelated, but Martha and Sissie don’t eat pizza because they say it tastes like perfume.

And I just wanted you to know that.

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  1. Butterbeans and Walmarts–now girl, you’ve got me missing East Texas! I’m so glad she got a jacket for the cold sanctuary! Ususally I hear it the other way around…it’s hot in this choir and with ROBES! No, not in the summer, no sir! We also need a fan, a fancy one that looks like an air purifier and it moves. Of course, it’s always closest to Sybil, because, you know she gets hot! That’s the truth….missing home, want some good home cooked food! Cracker Barrel is good, but just doesn’t compare, does it?

    Blessings on you Sister!

  2. Oh my gosh, you internet ladies make me want to move to the South.

    Is it just me, or are in your neck of the woods a lot more interesting than in mine?

    Pizza tastes like perfume?

    Too cute.

  3. I do believe that your Sissie is a gal after my own heart!

  4. So does their perfume smell like pizza? Chanel Deep Dish #5. ;-)

  5. My Grandmother lived to be 100 and she and Sissie would have gotten along beautifully.

  6. I love reading the stories of Sissie and Martha! They are hilarious and provide much needed laughter over here! HA!

  7. I think I figured out why I love reading your blog so much….it’s kinda like a very funny sitcom that actaully plays in my head as I’m reading. I don’t even know what any of ya look like but, just so you know, you are a good lookin bunch and your show is real funny :)

    And that is meant as a compliment for sure. I love reading your blog.

  8. The day sounds like a hoot! :) You tell the story great…..felt like I was listening to Martha talking right beside me!

  9. Sounds like a great day! What a meal……….makes me hungry!

  10. Sounds like it was a fun day! Pizza and perfume huh? interesting.

  11. Wellll…..I suppose that technically, since I have never TASTED perfume, I can’t say with CERTAINTY that pizza does NOT taste like perfume… I can SPECULATE though…and I have to say I kinda speculate that it does NOT…however my testimony would obviously not hold up in a court of law. Ah well. Happy birthday to Sissie, and take a picture of Martha in her spiffy new outfit!

  12. Just love the Martha and Sissie stories. Happy Birthday to Sissie and so glad you and Martha could share the fashion moment together. They are a hoot!

  13. I’m just as pleased as can be that the above Martha/Sissie story contains a nice, long run-on sentence because really if you have something to say you might as well just go on ahead and get it out and if you say it all in one sentence noone can interrupt you which makes it so much easier than answering a whole bunch of questions about funerals and purple flowers and carmel cake and table setting and isn’t it really better to go to the visitation than the funeral if you can’t go to both because at the visitation you can stand around in a parlor with a departed loved one drinking peach iced tea and, well, visiting you know so if you can make it to both the funeral and the visitation well that’s just dandy but folks understand that people have lives to live and company to prepare for and butter beans to soak so if you can only do the one and not the other I’d say go to the visitation and just hug everybody’s neck and find out which day they’d like the tuna casserole and go on about your business and don’t feel one bit badly, so good for Martha who I’m sure will look like a vision in her new skirt! with the jacket! and the blouse!

    The Home Schooling Mother in my just had a horrible shudder thinking about how the above sentence would be diagrammed. Now I need a nerve pill.

  14. I just loved reading this post. My Grandma is from Texas and still has the accent… we just love to hear her talk about life! Sounds like it was a fun weekend for everyone : )

    Perfume Pizza??

  15. Thanks for the laugh first thing this morning! I love your Martha and Sissie stories. I never had relatives at hand growing up, and it sure makes me think I missed something real special. Mind you, they are not from the south but I’m sure they could have pulled a few quirks out ofthe bag.

    Happy Birthday to Sissie. 97. That is amazing and still a firecracker!

  16. I’m assuming that said skirt! and jacket! and blouse to go underneath said jacket! was purchased at our beloved Steinmarts? Because really, what other choice was there?

    Happy Sunday!

  17. The butterbeans I know, but pray tell what are English peas?

    I get breathless reading about Martha & Sissie. They wear me out just reading about them.


  18. My grandparents WILL NOT eat pizza either, no matter how much I beg them to try it and taste to see how good it is. My grandpa died having never really eaten pizza, and my grandma is still faithful to the no pizza rule to this day.

    I wonder if it is a generational thing?

  19. Boomama, I just love you and your family and that is all I can say. Smiles everytime at the pure preciousness of it all:-)

    Love, Kelly

  20. Like perfume? That’s a new one on me. And, I’m starting to look forward to Clem’s comments after your posts.

  21. I work in a nursing home and I can just picture Sissie sitting by the door… old ladies tend to get that way. They seem to forget how busy life is outside of the facility. She probably was ready two hours early, too, LOL!

  22. Just way too much. . .I love Martha and Sissie.

  23. Happy Birthday to Sissie! I hope I’m that spunky when I’m 97 :)

  24. Thank goodness D. didn’t venture to ask Sissy just what time she started getting ready this morning; she’s only been looking forward to this day for the past six months and for D to arrive after she had spent oh, at least NINE MINUTES sitting by the door. You make me laugh out loud. The only question that remains in my mind is: Did A stay with Martha or did he actually, you know, come home TO HIS OWN HOUSE??

  25. I always love these stories. Takes me back home every time!

    My grandparents wouldn’t eat pizza either but I think it was because it was
    I-Talian. (No ethnic foods for them. And I think even “Yankee” food was ethnic.) They did, however, eat spaghetti. :>)

  26. BooMama–you know how to report a story, you just do. I so wish the newscasts would use you, =they would be much more accurate because you don’t miss one nuance or syllable.

  27. I agreen with Neighbor Jane Payne. The news would be so much more interesting and upbeat!

    Now, you’ve got me hungry for a carmel cake (not good for low carbing). And we had the most delicious carmel cake at my MIL’s 75th birthday. It’s her favorite and the restaurant had never served one. They tried 4 different recipes to get it right. And boy, did they! Yum! That must have put you straght into the sugar coma.

    Do you have a low carb version of your blog?

  28. ONE! OH! NINE!

    D is going to have to be extra extra early to the next few things to work his way out of the cat’s corner.

  29. BooMama, you are too much! Those Sissie and Martha stories are wonderful!

    Someone asked, “what are English peas”? They are little round, green peas. They are served at every banquet held, past and future. My husband wouldn’t eat one if his life depended on it. Just for the record, they are a carb when dieting, but who was dieting for Sissie’s birthday party?

    Has Martha ever tasted of perfume? What about pizza? :-)

  30. My eighty-six-year-old grandmother just tried pizza for the first time at my daughter’s birthday party last year. She was also not impressed…although, I don’t remember her mentioning that it tasted like perfume. LOL

  31. I had a grandpa, who was also a time-watcher; however, he also had a need to leave right away because “we need to get back on time”…Back where? I always wanted to why he had to get back. Just did. And that’s all I have to say about that.

  32. and to think we will probably be just like one of these dear old sweet ladies when we are their age.

  33. H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. ‘Nuff said.

  34. Oh my what a lunch- I’m in MS so I can relate to the whole drama!- Sounds like a lunch my mother and grandmother would cook- And they might have to run down to the “walmarts” too!

  35. Happy Birthday Sissie! It’s so great that she still has all of her faculties. We’re going through a hard time right now b/c my Granpa (he’s 90) is losing his at a fast pace.

    Oh, and I love that Martha puts an “s” on the end of “Walmarts.” Because that’s really what is should be called anyway.

  36. I’m dying here…This is great!

    Ya know, old – excuse me, MATURE – ladies named Marti and Sissie seem as incongruous as a cutsey little three year-old twins named Mavis and Glennis.

  37. I know when it is a story about Martha and Sissie I better brace myself. I love it! I have to wonder though Boomama, are YOU really loving it when you are in the midst of it? My dear, sweet MIL is one of the funniest people I know and absolutely never tries to be. It seems to never be as funny when I am in the middle of the “story” as it is when I am sharing it later! Just wondering!! :-)

  38. Martha and Sissie just give me lots and lots of Blush and Bashful thoughts! Oh how I miss the South!
    Now, M&S are not the only ones with the perfume ideas. My husband doesn’t like me to use Italian seasoning because of the Rosemary that’s in it. He says when I use Ital. seasoning my sauce has a perfume-y taste. So…either he’s as crazy as an old lady, or the three of them have similar taste buds.

  39. I love that generation of Southern women. My family members also serve the “Noah’s Ark” of food groups as well…. two meats, two potatoes, two kinds of peas.

  40. Jennifer says:

    Oh, how I miss home sweet home. :) I’m from MS but keeping scooting further and further east. But I can SOOOO relate!! Isn’t it funny that it doesn’t matter what part of MS you’re from, the stories are so similar??