It only takes about four seconds here in my little corner of the blawgosphere for people to realize that I am not a terribly serious person. I’m probably more introverted than people might expect, but for the most part I’m a glass-half-full girl. I’m happy. And apart from a three-year period in my early 20’s when I seemed to think that, as a graduate student, I was supposed to be cynical and jaded and brooding, I’ve been a happy person all my life. I think it’s just how I’m wired.
But for the last month or so, I’ve struggled a little bit with feeling, well, CRAZED. It has nothing to do with circumstances – other than the fact that I’ve been running through my circumstances at way too fast a pace (not literally running. oh heavens no. that would require far too much effort). And as a result, I’ve been more impatient than usual with D. and Alex, more resentful of impositions on my time, more frustrated by my ever-growing to-do list.
Basically, I’ve been living outside of my happy little comfort zone.
And as a brief aside, I would just like to say that it’s called “comfort zone” for a reason. Because it is, as it turns out, oh-so-comfortable. Not to mention cozy.
So because of the sheer volume of stuff going on, I’ve felt unsettled. Pulled in sixty different directions. Frazzled. Convinced that I will never, for the rest of my life, enjoy the luxury of just being quiet ever again.
Also, I’m incredibly rational when I’m stressed out. As I’m sure you can tell.
Earlier today D. and Alex left the house to run some errands and grab some lunch. Normally I try to be productive when I have time by myself; I’ll write a blog post or two, mop a floor in a high-Alex-traffic area, return phone calls – stuff that’s not so easy to do with a preschooler around.
But today? I turned off every single electronic device that could ring or ding at me. I sat down on a couch in our living room. And I stayed there for two hours.
I didn’t read. I didn’t watch TV. I didn’t check email.
I didn’t blog. I didn’t talk. I didn’t clean.
I just sat. And thought. And prayed.
And sat. And thought. And prayed.
While I looked out my windows.
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For two hours.
It was divine.
So I’m curious: do you have a place where you can “retreat” in your house? Do you have a place where you can recharge your emotional and spiritual batteries? Where you can get away from it all, even if it’s just for a few minutes?
Honestly, I didn’t realize that a prolonged period of quiet could do a girl such a world of good.
But you can rest assured that it’s a lesson I won’t soon forget.
The BATHTUB is my place of refuge. I love to just sink down into the warm water and think….ah…..now I want to have a bath.
Preach it, sister!
Well said. Well said.
Oh–and sometimes when I’m “alone,” I curl up with my Golden Retriever.
There’s just something about that softness and quietness and always-loves-me-ness that helps me to be still. Cry. Smile. Grieve. Think.
And remember God.
(Thanks again for your ministry, BooMama. You are an evidence of sweet grace to many.)
Yours,
Tara B.
I don’t have one! But, wow, that was a good encouragement to find one!
Our house is little. Every inch of space is used. But in our bedroom we carved out a corner for a club chair that I used for late-night nursings for both boys. It was absolutely perfect for that. Comfy and fit so nicely with my nursing stool.
Funny thing is: hubs owned it before we were married. And something tells me he never dreamed in a bazillion years it would be used for such a purpose. “Hi, Mathis Brothers, I’d like to look at some chairs for my future children’s midnight feedings even though I haven’t met their mother yet…”
I sink donw in that chair now and relish every peaceful moment, or second, as it were. Boys are 20 mo and 3 years old. And the older one just now brought me a stack of CDs from his room. Not in the cases. I think I better go.
As a single Mom of three I am NEVER alone. I used to think if I just had a place to “get away” I would feel a little more refreshed and not so overwhelmed. I don’t have family here and I live in a new town so I don’t have any place to send them when I need alone time. I HAVE learned this past week that I can still feel refreshed if I just spend time some “alone” time with my Father so I guess if I had to answer
do you have a place where you can “retreat”
It would be at my Father’s feet:-) What better place is there kwim?
What is an empty house? WIth a wrok from home hubby, and two homeschooling kids … there is no place to retreat here. Ugh.
I do, however, take time every day to drive and get an Iced Tea from my fav fast food place (they do have the freshest lemn in town!) and drive those 2 miles v-e-r-y slowly. Every day.
I have two places, as its just me until Thursday with our little guys, I REALLY need a retreat. So 1, is of course the BATHTUB in the master bath, filled with bubbles, I enjoy a good book in peace and quiet. And 2. oddly enough is our bed. For now, its my escape at the end of the day from my two crazies. Its funny, I take at least 5 minutes to arrange pillows, then another 5 to get comfy ( which I will never be until #3 is here!) and lay back, close my eyes and say “Hi God.” Yep, I converse with God every night before I go to sleep. Where else is it going to be quiet enough!
One of my favorite things to do is stand in the rain, in the dark. I know that sounds odd. I especially love heavy, raining cats and dogs, kind of rain, which is rare in Seattle. (Mostly we get drizzle.) I just feel really alive and awake and totally alone (except for God, of course).
I just got back from spending the weekend with my girlfriends at the beach. For the past several years we have rented a house for a weekend in May. No kids, no demands, just us girls and some serious bonding. Saturday we stayed in our pajamas until 2:00- it was total bliss.
My office is my quiet place, actually. It’s on the back side of the house, and while there are distractions in here (big one in front of me right now), there’s a big ole comfy chair in the corner that I just SINK into. I’m workin’ on setting it up to be a pretty little devo corner, with my Bible, journal, etc., but it’s a long way away, I think. Makes me want to go sit and read a bit more.
I’ve decided recently that I spent too many years not sleeping when I was tired. So, with pregnancy #5 (and with the other 4 kids a little older now!), I’ve decided to sleep when I want. Sometimes I admit that I almost drift into hibernation mode, but ah well. My bed is BY FAR my retreat. And sometimes I won’t sleep, but will just lie there and listen to noises outside, or even inside, my house. It feels great to know that life goes on without me. Just remembering that really grounds me, and makes me grateful for all that God can do that I cannot.
We have this room on the front of our house and we jokingly call it the “missile room”…if you saw it you’d understand entirely. When the agent and I walked thru the house, she said “ooooh, this room would make a great keeping room”. And that it is, it is my keeping room….it keeps me sane, it keeps things quiet and with all it’s windows it keeps things warm. And there’s nothing like hearing my fountain outside and feeling the sun on my arms while the rest of the house goes awry! If you hadn’t said “inside”…then I would have most certainly chosen outside with my horses!
When my girls were young the only place that I had that could be called a “retreat” was the bathroom! And, Oh MY, did Jesus and I have some great conversations as I sat on the porcelain throne!!!! Now, that my children are grown and have their own homes, I still have a retreat place–my sewing room!! It is upstairs where a certain senior member of our household (read mother) cannot go, and where the WonderHusband only wanders through on the way to the bedroom!!! While I piece clothing together–Jesus pieces me back together!!
Oddly enough, I “retreat” to Wal Mart all by my own self. I leave the kids with Daddy and I go grocery shopping alone. Makes it a little odd to talk to myself while I’m gazing at a shelf of canned vegetables, but oh well. And I *might* make an extra trip through the crafts section or the garden section. And I may walk kinda slow. But here at home, sometimes a bubble bath does the trick. With a good book and a BIG mug of coffee.
I have a place I would like to go but have not been there alone in…well, ever. My hope is that one day my dear hubby will take the children out and I will have that romanticized moment of aloneness in my spot. It could happen you know…well, maybe.
Glad you had a moment to regroup.
The only place around here where I can think is the shower. The water is loud. I can’t hear anyone else. It’s lovely. Of course, it is only accessible if there is another adult in the house, because if I took time to shower while the little boys and I are here by ourselves, the fire department would be here when I got out – yes, ma’am, they would.
Good for you!! I just take it where/when ever I can!!
Does the bathroom count?
Well, it’s not in my house really, although I’m there so much it could be my house. It’s TJMaxx. And then if things are really bad, Nordstroms. And then if it’s really really bad, Nordstrom Shoes.
Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to push everything aside and concentrate on just being and praying to our God. It’s easy to think that with busy schedules there is no time for down time, but oh how better everything goes when we have been rejuvenated!
As an extreme intovert, I really need personal space. I’m very strict about mandating that my extremely extroverted daughter give me two hours of complete silence every afternoon (we homeschool). She can be anywhere I am not. This probably sounds harsh but it makes me a better Mom.
During the nice months, I retreat to my porch. My husband gave me a beautiful rocker for a recent birthday. I also have a swing on the porch. During the winter, I retreat to our bedroom. Someday I hope to make a seating area in a corner of the bedroom. I have something in my minds eye, I just need the $$ to do it.
Sounds like heaven!! God is working on me about this one too. My littlest is 3 and I’m finding there is some space in my life and my heart aches for more! :) Congrats on carving out your time!
My quiet places are the shower, and a comfy chair in my office.
Mmmm…keep retreating Girl! Praying for you.
Love in Him,
Holly
We have a screened in porch that I have just about lived in since our patio furniture arrived for Mother’s Day. On “my” side there is furniture to sit and relax. Then on the “kid” side there are a zillion toys. That way they can play and I can sit! They’re happy and I’m happy!
And that is how I will keep my sanity this summer!
The garden. What could be a better way to spend time WITH myself and to reconnect with God than to work with living things? My faithful doggy at my side, trowel in hand, the dirt feels magical between my fingers and toes. I garden BAREFOOT so I can feel the soft grass under my feet. Don’t worry, I use sunscreen and wear sunglasses. There is just something so special, a sensory overload. Just get me outside under my breezy oak trees smelling my pretty things. Life doesn’t get any better than that.
Mostly I love to go near water, even if it is the stream down the hill that is basically run-off from the streets. I also love my tub. I feel I am neglecting myself if I don’t have time for a bath before bed.
On vacation, I love a hammock. And a breeze.
Good for you! In my house there used to be a “retreat” area, but it got covered in laundry, and when it got uncovered from the laundrygot moved into the nursery where it currently hosts a good deal of spit up. Maybe when we move in a few weeks I’ll make another “retreat” area.
I deperately NEED a retreat area. Right now it’s my bathroom with my kids banging at the locked door.
Help!
My place is usally outside somewhere. There have been times that I was so overwhelmed that I sat in the car in the driveway for the quiet! Really. I am sure the neighbors thought I was nuts.
We have often talked of making a secret place in our home. We haven’t gotten to that point yet, however we have carved out some space upstairs and also in our bedroom. If the children are upstairs, then I spend time with God in my bedroom….If they are dowstairs, I go upstairs for that alone time with God. It is an absolute necessity for me! I daily crave my time alone with the Lord. ((Hugs))
My quiet place is on my front porch. I sat out there today after work with puppies around my feet. And didn’t move. Just looking at the Smokies and thinking and praying and rocking is very soothing and relaxing. I’m glad you found some time today, too. It looks heavenly! Thank you for sharing.
During the nicer months we have a swing on our back deck. I can sit and stare at the 6 beautiful poplar trees in our neighbor’s yard. It’s a perfect view of the trees and sky and I sit and swing and stare and think.
Right now- my favorite place is on our balcony. I go out there right as the objects around me turn black, and the sky is bright blue. Around 8pm. I listen to the cars drive by, and just breathe. Sometimes here in southern california- you can even see a star, and when that happens, it makes my moment even better. Later on in the eve. I drink a cup of my “Sleepytime EXTRA” tea at night- (with two tea bags) and when I am finshed, I go back out on my balcony- and look for the moon, and the 8 stars southern California allows me to see.
That or a bath.
It sounds GLORIOUS! Glad He gave you those moments alone — so alone — with Him. Isn’t He good?
That sounds sooo nice! I’m glad you got a chance to unwind.
Because I work from home, I have time to relax before J comes home, but on the days when stuff happens & everyone is home & I need to get away from it all, I take refuge in my half-bath in my bedroom. I have gone there when J was very little & having nasty temper tantrums. I have gone there to cry when I did not want anyone to see me. I have gone there to use the phone in private. It’s my little pink refuge.
Yes, the sunny window seat in my loft…when once in a blue moon the guys leave me home…ALONE.
oh yes my ikea poang chair in the corner of the living room.(heaven)with a view of the trees out back..at night especially with everyone else asleep..
Xanex
Tandem naptime – electronic gadgets + living room couch = happy mommy! *wink*
I sit on my deck, in the summer early before the kids get up, in spring and fall for a few minutes after they all leave for school. I sip some java and enjoy the QUIET (lol) Of course in the winter I am at a loss because my deck is usually buried under 5 ft of snow, but I’ll find one sooner or later.
I never loved quiet so much as I do now. I don’t even have the tv on if noone else is home.
My bed!
When my son was born 15 months ago (and I was soooo new at it all), at the end of the day when my hubby got home, I had to take a ride. Whether it was just to get us some supper or maybe I needed something from WalMart.
Now, my retreat is in my very tiny bathroom. Both bathrooms are tiny – even the “master bath.” If not that, it’s my bed. In the mornings I’m like, God, help me get through today. You’re the only way I’m going to make it through today (and life in general).
Mine is not so much a place as a time. I live in a small apartment that I share with another person. But if I get up very early in the morning I can create a quiet little well of calm at the beginning of my day, there in my living room before my roommate is awake. It’s amazing what a difference it makes. But also, it’s amazing how even though I KNOW what a difference it will make to my day it can still be TORTURE to make myself get up early to take advantage of it. Especially in the cold dark mornings of winter…
When I’m lucky enough to get away by myself, while I’m driving in the car I don’t turn on music. I just enjoy the silence. Sometimes I pray. But always it is silent. Because that is what I don’t get enough of.
Trust me. I understand. Boy, do I understand.
The back patio. When I go sit out there, no one is brave enough to come near me. It means I’m regrouping.
If I’m at home, it’s on my couch with a cup of coffee (usually) while my 2 year old son is napping. On occasion, my husband will say “Do you want to go to a coffee shop and journal or read or something while I hang out with the little man?” and I’ll say enthusiastically, “OK!!!” but that’s only every now and then, so it’s usually the couch.
Imagine now, if you would, tossing a full time job into the mixing bowl of craziness…
Wait — don’t run away from me screaming — it was just one of those silly “imagine if…” things I thought I’d toss out. You know… ehem, heh, heh … a joke — get it — full time job? Yeah. Bad joke.