Because Apparently I Never Tire Of This Subject

Did anybody see Oprah today?

And did anybody wonder WHAT IN THE SAM HILL is going on with Oprah’s hair?

I mean, I love me some Oprah and all, but this whole letting-it-grow-out thing? I feel it’s a terrible hair miscalculation. Oprah is sassy, and as such her hair should be sassy.

But make no mistake: today’s hair was most definitely not sassy. It was the antithesis of sassy. It might even be the hair where sassy throws up its hands and resigns itself to matronly.

And in the interest of Full Hair Disclosure, I have to admit: Bill Clinton’s hair on today’s Oprah? ROCKIN’. He knew it, too. You could tell. In fact, I half expected him to pull a Fonzie by raking through his distinguished gray layers with a black plastic comb while Oprah was asking him questions.

Also: I’ll have to consult my pretend Oprah Hair Diary, but I believe that today was the first time I’ve ever seen Oprah’s hair upstaged by a man’s. This is not good.

Which reminds me.

I keep forgetting to tell y’all that the last time we went to Memphis, I saw a sign in someone’s yard that said “Carol’s Act of Faith Haircare.”

Think on that one for just a minute.

Now I can only hope that Carol’s sign is a physical testimony to the fact that it was an act of faith for her to open her own business. Because honestly, I just don’t know that I’d be entirely comfortable visiting Carol for my haircare needs if a literal act of faith is required on either of our parts in order for her to cut and style my hair.

The irony, of course, is that I type this I’m in a near-panic about what in the world to do about my hair before I leave for the Deeper Still conference in Nashville this weekend. Since the Hair Wizard is visiting South America for the whole month of September, I’m feeling a smidge desperate.

I will even confess to you – because you are my Hair Accountability Partners – that it’s taking every ounce of resolve I have not to run down to the CVS and pick up a home haircolor solution.

And really, I know in my head that the expression “home haircolor solution” is an oxymoron. But the flesh is weak, my friends.

Y’all may have to intercede for me. I’m so blinded by the need for MORE BLONDE right now that I can’t even pray for myself. I fear that I’m destined for a pit of hair despair.

I am but a weak, increasingly-gray-at-the-roots vessel.

Maybe I should hop in the car and head toward Memphis.

It would require an act of faith, but Carol might just be able to help.

Share:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email

Comments

  1. Should I call Tummy, The Hair Wizard of NashVegas?

  2. Regarding Oprah…you took the words right out of my mouth. Oh I hope this isn’t her new fall hairdo!

  3. Maybe you should go see your local guy and just say you had your hair done while you were at your Mama’s. Then you can see if he can duplicate the look and at the same time you get your roots back to the color the good Lord intended them to be!!

  4. Oh girl – i was so sick of my hair I just plopped myself in the car and drove to a random Hair Cuttery kind of place. Hair grows, right??? I think the girl just graduated about 2 days before she cut my hair, but I was “glad” to give her practice!! Hey – there is a girl in Knoxville needing some more practice hair if you get a wild hair!!! leigh

  5. Oh, I hear you on the increasingly gray hairs — I CAN’T STAND THEM! Who invited them to my party? Not me — NO WAY!

  6. Boomama….thank you for the laughs. It so does me good these days!

    And stay strong girl! Stay strong (re: home hair color solutions! lol)

  7. oh you are funny. and be strong girl, a box of hair color is only going to make things worse.

  8. Do not waver. at will require repentance. Do not stray fro mthe straight and narrow.

    DO NOT MAKE ME DRIVE THERE AND TIE YOU DOWN.

  9. If the Hair Wizard has a card for you on file, you can go in and ask them to check it and have the stylist there who does HER hair do your hair. You know the stylists all do each other’s hair. I always ask my stylist who does hers, so then I can know who to trust as a back-up.

    You gotta go blonde to see Beth. I’m just sayin’

  10. Let me tell you something as your friend and your haircare accountability partner. If you find yourself staring at a box of Clairol in the CVS, you loudly tell it “Get behind thee, Satan”, and move on.

  11. gosh, you have me in stiches. Can’t think of a good pun, just have to say that you rock!!

  12. Skip the car to Memphis. Get on a plane and head to South America.

    HURRY GIRL!

    Stay far away from CVS.

  13. Resist the Drug Store! You will get through this troubling hair time in your life. Enjoy the conference and say hey to Beth for us all!!

  14. Oprah Winfrey is “sassy”?
    Her hair is “sassy”? It has been upstaged by a man many a time since she’s been on air (according to my diary :)

  15. Yeah, resist the drugstore. I seem to be the only person on the planet who has good luck with home hair coloring. I think Melanie up there has the right idea with visiting the stylist who styles the stylist.

  16. Okay, the “Carol’s Act of Faith Haircare” bit was hilarious!

  17. Oh, totally laughing because I missed Oprah today, but caught about 3 seconds of it- literally- and the ONLY thing I thought was “what is up with her hair!?”

    Steph

  18. that is hilarious! I did see Oprah and wondered the same thing! I loved the wild curly do she had going for a while… what is up with this straight stuff?

  19. Go with Melanie’s advice!

  20. I missed Oprah today but my DVR didn’t!! BRB!! ;-)

  21. YES! YES, I watched Oprah today…I thought the very same thing! Plus, she had unusually noticeable bags under her eyes, I thought. Not good.

    I am in total agreement with all the others against drugstore hair color. It’s not your friend.

    Love,
    Sarah, TN

  22. STEP AWAY FROM THE DO-IT-YOURSELF HAIRCARE PRODUCTS.

  23. I personally hop in the car every five weeks and head to Memphis for some hair care, because I, too, am “chemically dependent.” (You know I’m only talking hair, my friend!!!) If you don’t want to take a leap of faith and try Carol, I’ve got someone I highly recommend.

  24. For the love of Pete, don’t you DARE go to the CVS!! Have D take away your keys if you have to!! Doesn’t the Hair Wizard work with other Wizards you could trust perhaps? Oprah — OK, I cried at the little girl’s giving story and LOVED the story of Andre’s school — incredibly impressive!!!!!!!

  25. I feel you about the gray roots. I just recently had a friend tell me she loved my new hair color…that would be my it’s-been-so-long-since-I-got-my-hair-colored-only-the-tippy-tips-are-blonde hair color. And no matter what those voices in your head tell you….home hair color kits are never the solution…don’t give in…live strong!

  26. My vote is for visiting Carol–it’ll make for a great post later :)

    TOTALLY just kidding! I have a fantastic hair guy, but by the time you got back home, you’d be gray again. Not that I’m one to talk; I go six months between appointments!

  27. Please, oh please, stay away from the CVS. Howard will cry afterward and demand that the crazy lady send back his mommy.
    D, please treat Boomama to some pampering at an upscale beauty salon.

  28. I’m in England so we don’t actually get Oprah here but……..you brought it up so I “googled” her.

    Oh my lands, that is MY hairstyle you are all horrified with. I’m having it coloured tomorrow anyway at the hairdressers, now if I could explain the word “SASSY” to a British hairdresser I would get it restyled too …

  29. Get in the car right now and drive to Atlanta…no doubt in my mind that my Cindy could add blonde exactly where blonde is needed. But if that isn’t on the calendar this week, by all means stay away from CVS or any other store that carries home hair care products…been there, done that…don’t wanna go back! You know you don’t want to go there, either. You know no matter how you wear your hair that you will be sassy and your hair will show it. Shame on Oprah for leading you down this path…Can hardly wait till the weekend, because I know we’ll experience the conference through our dear, sweet BooMama : )

  30. I recently saw a hair salon with the name “Curl up and Dye”! Isn’t that a hoot? Laurie

  31. That reminds me of the “Overcoming Faith” church near me. Got faith? Come in, we’ll help you overcome it.

  32. There is no good that can come from a $9.99 box of hair color. NO GOOD.

  33. DON’T DO IT–stay away from the CVS. Ask around for a good hairdresser, surely, you have a girl friend there to help find one.

  34. I cannot be a reliable Hair Accountability Partner. They are supposed to tell you NOT to do it, right?

    I am all about hair experimentation.

    Go get you a box! And don’t ask for help!

    Because, you CAN DO THIS!

    (I’m nothing if not encouraging)

  35. I wondered the same thing…what in the world is she trying to do?? I thought maybe because BILL was on, she was trying to appear too intellectual to have the time to spend making her hair look FAB. Hope you are able to resist the temptation to color your own hair…it’s never a good thing…

  36. Even the comments are hilarious!

    What we need is a chapter of Hair Anonymous. There has to be a 12 step program to help us combat our addiction to hair color and the temptation to DIY our hair. We are not trained professionals! We should not attempt the incredible feats they accomplish, it’s DANGEROUS people! Look what happens when we attempt it, it becomes a tragedy and a travesty. I’m telling you-Hair Anonymous-we may be onto something here.

  37. Now when I listened to the “BigBoo cast” over the weekend, Chris listened in and said, “I wonder if she figured out what to do with her hair. Did she have a miracle?”

    I guess your answer today is that “it’s you, it’s you O Sophie, standing in the need of prayer.” Am I right? I will definately be praying for a great do for the weekend–even better than Bill Clinton’s :)
    Love,
    holly

  38. I recently got my hair highlighted at the local beauty school. And I am 9 months pregnant (literally, I am due in 4 days). So, if you want to increase your self-esteem, I could send you a picture of my HORRIBLE hair. Beauty school may be cheaper, but it is cheaper for a reason. And now I have to wait until next month to revive my poor do. Oh, its awful. I need the hair wizard (but for free!).

  39. P.S. Being pregnant has nothing to do with my hair, other than the fact that hair can uplift the total appearance….and I dont even have that!

  40. You could always take a photo in of Oprah’s new style and ask them to do that for you. Then no one will notice your roots.

    I was seriously considering heading to CVS myself before heading to Deeper Still, but after reading all the warnings from your internet devotees, I’m second guessing myself. I’ll do it if you do it. Double dog dare ya.

  41. I didn’t see Oprah but I am still REELING — I mean REELING — from Whoopi’s first day on The View. Keep in mind I’m not a big View fan — never have been. But I was curious and so I watched.

    Apparently, Ms. Goldberg thinks that because we live in the Deep South that we sit on our front porch, barefooted, with two babies on our hips and one in our belly, hair in pigtails, playing the banjo, waiting for the Grand Ole Opry to come on the radio, while fighting dogs and killing the ones who don’t perform well! :) Dogfighting is, afterall, accepted in “our culture” down here, ya’ll! NOT!

    No more View for me, thank you very much!

    Boomama, please tell me that you are coming to Nashville for Deeper Still this weekend…..PLEASE!!!!! :)

    Blessings,
    Dori

  42. Hello. My name is Karen and I’m a haircolor-at-home-a-holic. I started when I was in my twenties because everyone else I knew was doing it. It didn’t seem so bad, I figured, “what could it hurt?” Little did I know…

  43. I started going grey when I was 25! 25 people!! So I have been using the at home box of lies (because who would ever grow hair a purply color?) – just saying. But it helps the grey hair behave. As often as I need ‘touch ups’ I couldn’t afford hair wizards. My hubby freaks just when I get it cut. Sigh.

    Lets face it – grey ain’t sassy!!!!

  44. Sorry… you lost me at the mention of Clinton. Patooey. Not at you… just at the ground.

    But I do recall some previous hair coloring fiasco about which you wrote earlier… Might I recommend the hasty change of heart about doing it yourself? You’ll appreciate not having to humble yourself before your hair wizard again!

    Don’t you know that they’ll love you no matter your hair situation? Deeper Still is about seeing things on a deeper level than the status of your roots. And I’m sure everyone will be so blinded by your stunning personality and brain that your hair won’t even register on the “talk about” scale!

  45. Because my daughter-in-law and I are really ace detectives on the side (really bc of where you shop, your proximity to
    Rooooll Tide and the church bulletin), we’ve figured out the general area of where you live. My daughter is a hair styist near your church and will be glad to see you this week. Don’t delay! She is fantastic!!!

  46. I understand, but am of no use on the accountability thing…

    I have been so desperate that I have tried to cut and thin out my own hair… I actually managed a better look than the last random hair stylist (I use that term lightly) that I went to. I swear she gave me a Mohawk… or was it a Feuhawk?!?

    Good luck!

  47. This may be one of my favorite Boomama posts ever! Maybe its because I, too, and wrestling with box vs. salon. I know the best answer, but it’s not the one my checkbook is lobbying for!

  48. I used to NEVER dye my hair, then I decided it would be “fun” to be a redhead. Now I could join Dyers’ Anonymous. “Hi, my name is Lisa, and I’m addicted to my hair wizard Katina and her Mad Dyin’ Skillz.” “Hi, Lisa!”

    Unfortunately, Katina is in Colorado and I’m in Texas. She comes once every 6-8 weeks. So me and my inch-long roots (and my October appointment) are feeling your pain.

    Now, if you wanna fly to Colorado, I know where you can find a certified dee-luxe wizard who can probably fit you in (and I’ll put in a good word for ya)… Seems poor Katina left her loyal and well-paying clientele in Texas when she moved. :-(

  49. There is a sign posted on my way to work that reads “Special Hair Cut – %5.00”.

    I’ve always wondered what that “special”hair cut is? LOL!!

    Have fun in Nashville! I’m over the mountains in Asheville, NC.

  50. Oh, I SO wish I was going this weekend, but… a family wedding in Huntsville requires my attendance. I am quite certain I would know you at first sight… maybe even at first sound! But I might scare you by throwing my arms around you and hugging your neck while screaming, “BOOMAMA, IT’S REALLY YOU! LOOK, YA’LL! BOOMAMA” So it’s probably in both our best interests that I not attend, even though I am crazy about Beth Moore and even though I *might* be able to refrain from wearing my LSU alumni T-shirt… No, I definitely wouldn’t wear it because you know Beth sets the fashion standard and I’d have to find something super-cute to wear, and I know the Lord does not care what we wear (in spite of what my Gran says about Sunday mornin’ dresses) and since I don’t have anything super-cute on hand, I suppose it’s doubly good that I will not be there. But I wish I was.

  51. So I just got around to listening to the podcast because we were away this weekend for the holiday. It was great fun. Anyway, enjoyed the second installment of the Big Boo cast and excited for the next one. You two should talk about what Southerners know about Canada. I always wonder (since we mostly watch american TV and know lots of stuff going on in the US) if there is any sort of Canadian information or current events on your TV’s? Probably not. Our current events aren’t usually big news. You two could be the voice of Canada for the southern US. Hee, hee :) I’m sure your listening audience would expand by tens of people!

    I’m off to watch Oprah now. Missed it yesterday but since she’s still in re-runs, I doubt her hair will be the same.

  52. Ok…I’m 1 hour from Memphis, I can meet you there.

    Or, if I see you at Deeper Still I won’t look at your hair if you won’t look at mine….Just a disgrace right now. I should be embarrassed.

    2 more days til the big event…

  53. I can’t wait till Friday. I live in Nashville and have never seen Beth Moore in person. I couldn’t get tickets to the actual event but I was able to get tickets to the satellite feed at Belmont. Wish I could meet you!! Hope you have a great weekend. Jen

  54. I am going to see Beth too! Can’t wait!

  55. You are hilarious. Everytime I read your blog I ended up cracking up. You are a fantastic writer. I hear you about the hair. I thought “matronly” was an excellent description of what was happening way up there on top of that head of hers. Doesn’t she remember that show she did awhile ago when people FREAKED about her hair being straight and she even had to go talk to the president of HARPO about it?? Remember that episode anyone? Or am I just a freak that knows WAAAAY too much info about her? Don’t answer that. Anyway the decision was for her to stay curly and big. It looks good on her. What’s her stylist’s name again? Someone email the man, please!

  56. i was gonna go, but like the monk and neagle concert, didn’t want to risk an embarrassing public labor and delivery… of course, he was early, so i could have made it to the Deeper Still event… *sigh*

    as for the hair, mine is brunette, so I have no problems doing color at home, but i grew up with a blonde mama who shed many a tear when her hair came out green at home…

    blessings,
    karla

  57. Hi, I may be in the minority here..but here goes! If you’re in full hair-crisis mode here, I’d say COMPROMISE. You don’t have to go whole-hog, as it were…you could just get the kit where you apply color only to the roots! This solution would give you control over the degree of “blonde”-ness you wish to attain and yet still remain faithful to your stylist. Wishing you good hair and peace in all things, Lori :)

  58. Grey is my least fav color right now. I feel your pain.

  59. Speaking of home hair solutions…Has anyone out there tried the new Natural Instincts No Brass color? Miraculous! It did not change my semi natural (snort!) carmely-brunette shade a bit and yet took out all of the nasty harshness of summer sun. I highly recommend! It is about $8 and comes with a good size tube of Color Treat conditioner that smells like coconut candy.

    Next time you are in Memphis, I do think we need a picture of said hair salon sign, no? Like the good woman that I’m sure she is, Carol realizes the spiritual signifigance of our crown & glory…

  60. You are stinking hilarious!! I am a Hydrience girl, myself. hehehe Sable brown is the color for me….LOL. I would love to see pics if you go to Carol and have an act of faith….ROFL!!

  61. Bailey's Leaf says:

    There are other hair wizards out there, my friend. Find one (through MDO?) and get those grays tended to. I’ve learned to embrace mine, but the other day my mother decided to point out that I have the same gray streak as her. Thanks, Mom.

  62. I missed Oprah but did you hear what Whoopi said about us deep southerners and dog fighting? Which deep south do you think she was talkin’ about – deep south Columbia??!!

  63. I’m sitting here in stitches!! I color at home, and so far so good!!
    I missed Oprah, but you have really got me curious!

  64. I’ve lurked on your blog a long time (since Amanda used it as an example on the LPM blog) but haven’t commented before. BUT once I read that you are headed to Nashville this weekend and are worried about your hair I had to comment! My friend and I are coming from Colorado for the event and our conversation this morning was, “OK, now for the important stuff – what are you wearing?!”

    Of course we really know what the important stuff is, but Beth and Priscilla are pretty stylish girls!

  65. I’ve seen a few shows this week. If it is like the beginning of last season, she has had it treated. She explained it last season and apologized that it looked so bad, but that there was really nothing they could do for a few days/weeks.

    Have fun in my city this weekend!

  66. Hairweaves have their off days too!
    I’m forbidden from saying anything too horrible as a former guest.. so I will zip my lips..[horrible looking feet] Oops!