So I’m sitting here in Panera Bread, hoping to maximize the little bit of time I have before I pick up Alex from school, trying to heed D’s advice to IGNORE MY EMAIL in the interest of getting some actual writing done.
(And I think we all know that the wri-word is totally in quotation marks in my head.)
(Because it’s the illusion of self-confidence, really, that matters.)
And for whatever reason, I feel that it’s very important for you to know that since my normal iPod headphones are broken, I’m sporting a pair of these right now:
Thank you. Thank you so much. I know you are so proud.
And I feel fairly confident that any Panera patron who has caught sight of my sassy circa-1992 headphones would find it hard to believe that last week I actually wrote a couple of blog posts on, you know, FASHION.
The weird thing about sitting in a place like this is that you catch all these snippets of what’s going on with strangers. Just as I’m sure there’s someone peering over my shoulder and wondering “BOOMAMA? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS A BOOMAMA?,” I’m wondering why the woman across from me can’t hang up the phone long enough to eat her salad.
I’m also pretty certain that she’s not from around here because of her repeated use of the word “super,” and OH MY WORD SOMEBODY HELP ME BECAUSE I CANNOT QUIT STARING AT HER FOOD.
Anyway, the last few days have been a little nerve-wracking around our house, mainly because we’ve been waiting on some stuff related to some things, and I would be more specific if not for my ongoing desire to continue to bring you the best in Annoyingly Vague Information.
After all, this is in fact the blog where details go to die.
So the last few days have been filled with D and me sort of dancing around each other, pretending like we’re FINE! WE’RE JUST FINE!, but the truth of the matter is that we’re both sitting on pins and needles, and now I’m realizing that this is sort of making it sound like I’m pregnant, so let me just clarify that potential misunderstanding rightthissecond and assure you that no, I am not pregnant.
Because if I were I would probably liveblog the news via cellphone from my doctor’s office and then follow up with a Special BooBaby ’07 Podcast.
In case you were wondering.
So D and I have both been sitting on pins and needles because we’ve been WAITING ON SOME THINGS. And honestly, I’ve been really disappointed with the way I’ve responded to this situation, primarily because it’s one thing to say, “Oh, yeah, I trust God, He’s in control, Hallelujah” – but it’s something else entirely to, as Emma Kate says, put some feet to that thing. I’ve been a little ticked off with how my selfishness and my impatience have been exposed over and over again.
Because I just think that at some point I should get past all of that. At some point I should do better.
So while it’s true that I absolutely want whatever it is that God wants in my life and my family’s life, I’m realizing that my tendency is to want to know what He’s up to rightthissecond. And when I don’t get an answer within the timetable that I have deemed most convenient for our family, I question Him.
I’m sure God loves it when I do that.
And I really don’t know why I’m sharing all of this. It may fall under the category of TOO MUCH INFORMATION, MA’AM, COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP YOUR STRUGGLES TO YOURSELF, but what I’m finding during this particular season of my life is that it’s more and difficult to write about my usual brand of nothing when there is so much going on behind the scenes, when I’m basically unable to type because I’m so busy WRINGING MY HANDS FOR HOURS ON END.
So I guess I’m just asking that you would pray for us, knowing that this is not life or death, this is not a marriage in peril, and this is not a child who is sick with no hope of a cure.
This is just two people who are standing in unfamiliar territory, knowing and believing that God has led them to this place, but struggling with their all-too-human doubt just the same.
Yesterday we were about to sit down for lunch, and D asked Alex if he could remember his memory verse for choir. I didn’t even realize that they had been working on the memory verse, but this probably does not surprise you considering that I am a mama who finds herself stressed to the point of no return over THE LETTER BUCKET, of all things.
Anyway, Alex looked at his daddy, looked at me, and in the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard in your life, he recited Job 37:5: “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.”
To my credit, I did not collapse into a sobbing heap in the middle of the kitchen floor.
But I wanted to.
Because I know that it’s true.
And I know that He’s working.
And I pray that I would patiently trust Him – whatever His timetable might be.
I sure needed to read this!
Daniel and I have been waiting for nearly two years for an answer, and doggone if it isn’t hard.
This post was a real encouragement to my heart. The verse your son quoted is simply powerful, as God’s word always is. Especially to a thirsty heart like mine.
I will pray for patience and the ability to endure the waiting, however long it is.
-Andrea
I will pray. And I assume God’ll know what I’m talking about if I pray “for BooMama (and family) to have peace and await your perfect timing on, you know, whatever it is they’re waiting for?” because y’all have been talkin’ about it already. Patience. Plah. Tsk… So overrated! (Hugs your neck with much back-patting.)
BooMama, BooDaddy, and BooBoy all have my prayers.
And I will pray that you patiently trust Him – whatever His timetable might be.
And although when I read that it sounds positively FLIPPANT, I wrote it with a huge amount of empathy, because I DO get it.
I have a little bit of problem with patience myself, so I’m right there with ya hon :) Prayers for you and yours will be given.
Oh, tell Alex that is one of my favorite verses! : )
Oh, I could write this same post today! I will definitely pray for y’all, because waiting is terrible and I understand.
My DH and I went the whole trying to hear from God during a crossroads/major crisis in his career. We fasted (although no one is supposed to know) and prayed over and over and over…Many things were confirmed through His word and other godly people, and now we are seriously living on faith, and our home equity loan. We are now the owners of 2 new businesses which have yet to make a dime!!
Leave it up to the kids to put us in our places, with humility I might add! My advice…Pray without ceasing and pray about everything!!!
I have that verse on my refrigerator. It is one of my life verses. Believe it, Sophie!!!
I understand the “waiting on pins and needles” feeling. My hubby and I have been doing that a lot lately.
What a great verse Alex had this week!
Saying a prayer now for you and your family, because, well…I’VE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!! HUGS!
As we know…”out of the mouths of babes”…
Praying and believing with you!!!
-tonya
““Oh, yeah, I trust God, He’s in control, Hallelujah†– but it’s something else entirely to, as Emma Kate says, put some feet to that thing. I’ve been a little ticked off with how my selfishness and my impatience have been exposed over and over again.
Because I just think that at some point I should get past all of that. At some point I should do better.”
If you ever “arrive” you’ll be so far above us ordinary mortals that we won’t be able to relate to you at all. It’s the REAL Sophie that we love and relate to, so never be afraid of being too REAL.
Prayer works. Thanks to you and Sister for praying for me. I just got word that my disability has been approved.
God is good.
Now it’s my turn to pray for you, and God is STILL GOOD. :-)
Love and hugs,
Diane
oh, how I love you BooMama…
you are certainly in my prayers.
Blessings,
Karla
I find myself in the same struggle, time after time, and I keep wondering when I’m going to GET IT, when I will be fixed, when I will be able to face every uncertainty with, “Oh, I can’t wait to see what God’s going to do” instead of, “Um… God? Could you please send me an email or a certified letter, informing me of what’s going on, how it’s going to work out, and when it’s going to end?”
Great verse, great reminder for me today.
I’ll be praying for you all, BooMama.
I’ll offer up prayers for you if you don’t mind doing the same for me. And I don’t mind spelling out my situation…this waiting on the state to approve us so we can start being considered for a foster-to-adopt placement is KILLING me!
I, too, want to know what He’s up to rightthissecond. I need to practice that patience thing.
I think this is the hardest part of faith. There’s so much in it: believing God is, trusting who God is, wanting and waiting and unable even to obey in an action-oriented way because you don’t know what to DO; just waiting and trusting. It is everything contrary to my nature all at once. I stink at it.
I wait, myself, for my husband to believe someday. Your blog and podcast bring me so much laughter and joy – and so many others… and simply as your sister in Christ, I will be happy to pray for you. :)
Phil 4:4-7…I’m saying these verses a lot these days. We’re hoping to adopt next month and oh! it’s been up and down for us. Waiting is super hard. Yep, I said super. I love that word!
Praying for you…
Father, I thank you that you have everything under control. I pray that you will be very real to her in these coming days, and that she will have a peace that passes all understanding.
In Your Holy and Righteous Name….amen
PS. please find her some better ear phones.
You know I’ll keep you, D and Alex in my prayers. Patience is certainly not one of my strong points, and because of that, God continues to work on me to “cool my jets” occasionally. It’s tough during the wait, but my goodness, the blessing at the end makes the wait so worth it!!! Hang in there!
I will pray, too. Thank you for being transparent. It’s a lot easier in Bible Study than on the internet-isn’t it??
I’m currently studying “Discerning the Voice of God” and Priscilla Shirer spoke this week about Psalm 37:4-4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
She was speaking directly to me when she said, that doesn’t mean He will give us whatever we want, it means we need to make sure His desires for us are all that we want. That was on Tuesday. Wednesday, when I did one of my daily checks at your blog, it was on your side bar as the “Good Word.” I LOVE it when that happens.
I love the verse Alex memorized too-may we all carry that in our hearts!
Oh dear Sophie… definitely praying over here. I completely and absolutely know that feeling of being where you’re currently “at” and know, as you do, that while the refining isn’t fun or comfy, always bringing those great “impurities” to the surface, our Jesus is using it for more ultimate good than we can fathom. Seeing that in the middle of it isn’t usually the way He works though, is it? And that certainly doens’t make it easy…
And as for the whole thing of blogging while wringing those hands… let me just remind you of something you said to me when I was going through a hard time and didn’t know how to “write” anything about it.
“You know, one thing that I’ve learned about feeling “obligated” to post is that caving into that feeling is rarely a good thing. I think that there are parts of our lives that we’re supposed to move through without figuring out how to edit them. Sometimes we just have to sit in whatever situation God puts us in – and not write about it. You know? Sooo… you know? :) HUGS
The first part of your post just made me laugh. I felt like I was right there in Panera with you. I’ve been there and heard the other people and I just am so curious as to what their lives are like. The headphones cracked me up!
The strange thing was that I was in the process of writing a post very similiar to yours as far as the serious part goes. I typed something up and never posted it because I didn’t know what to say. I, too, am waiting and it has been so hard. I feel like I want the world to know that what I’m experiencing but I cannot share it yet because nothing is finalized. It is nothing life shattering but definitely causing stress. I just want my answer to come so I can move forward. Sounds familiar? Anyway – I just wanted you to know that I’ll be praying for you.
I will pray for you. I have a problem with waiting too, especially when, in my case, I want something to happen SO BADLY!
Oh, how we can all relate to this in some way on some level…I must really like you, and I don’t even know you, for me to go into my library of Beth Moore workbooks and find something profound from the “Living Beyond Yourself” study.
Hang on….ok, i’m looking through week 6 of this study on patience. There are 2 Greek words we studied for patience….
Hupomone: patience in circumstances, inspired by hope.
makrothumia: patience with people, inspired by mercy.
We are called to wait patiently for the Lord as He waits patiently for the lost.
Patience waits.
I pray you can wait. I’ll pray with you and for you.
Blessings….
About that lady who won’t hang up long enough to eat…
I seem to remember a post not too long ago by the incomparable Boomama on how she was talking so much on the phone at the coffee shop that she didn’t get more than one post written. =)
Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m praying for you.
Will be praying too. I know just what it feels like to have to wait. Still am, come to think of it. And patience has never been a strong point with me. I am being taught a lesson here I think…..
Father God, in Jesus name I thank you for Sophie, I pray that you would move in power over her. I thank you that you have her in the palm of your hand and that you love her with an unapologetic love. I pray that your will will be accomplished in her life and in the life of her family and I also pray that you would give her strategy during this time. I thank you that the name of Jesus is strength to tear down strongholds. I also thank you that your word says that signs and wonders shall follow those who believe. I pray now that you would manifest yourself in a tangible way to this family. In the matchless name of Jesus I pray. AMEN.
That’s ok. As I’ve been struggling with me back at work and wondering if God will allow me to stay home again, Reia runs around the house singing “God’s way is the best way” from Veggie Tales. Well, that and the Cebu song. So, I’m with you and I’ll be praying.
Oh sweet girl. Aren’t we glad we have a God of mercy and grace who loves us with all of our human frailities. Just as we are- impatience, hand wringing, selfishness- the whole nine yards.
Hope, faith and love grow through the painful stretching exercises we are put through. May God bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine on you.
Oh, I’ve never so much wanted to leap through a computer and hug a “stranger”…and that’s in quotes simply because it’s amazing how the Bloggy World can make me feel like I know someone I’ve never laid eyes on! (P.S. I’m totally NOT a psycho stalker, I promise!)
Don’t you just love it when God uses a precious child to speak to you? What a fantastically timely verse!
“the blog where details go to die” CRACKS ME UP.
I would say I’m praying for you to learn patience, but you know how that ends up.
Oh, and still loving that kid.
I read your blog to keep from wringing my hands over my situation!!
Sometimes I’ll read someone else’s blog and they will hit the nail on the head and I think ‘that’s it exactly’!! It’s also encouraging to know I’m not alone going through STUFF – you’re not alone!
Isa. 41:10…..praying for you to solidly TRUST all that He has for you and the Boofamily!!! ;)
Rightthissecond has taken 5+ years now for us. It’s practically impossible to remember that to the I AM, rightthis second is, you know, all the same as 10 years from now. It’s all in His time. (Everyone…sing along…)
I’ll not only pray this for you but for myself as well… ;) Thanks!
Keeping you in my thoughts. Hope you get some answers soon. And btw, love the headphones.
Praying…
I’ll be praying for you.
That he gives you his understanding in case things don’t turn out like you expect it. That you might be able to see the bigger picture sooner, that you’ll find your peace in him.
Take care.
He is INDEED working – and I can’t wait to hear about what He does. :-)
P.S. I still can’t get enough of the letter bucket.
For some reason, I feel compelled to quote ‘Friends’ and guide you to seek “Unagi: a state of total awareness.â€
With genuine sincerity, however, it’s understandable how self-doubt, anxiety and eagerness can hit you to your core. Keep in mind you have combined “waiting on some stuff related to things†with the baked bean meadly-palooza and how you struggled with your (completely appropriate) decision—all in one week. That’s a lot to take on—please give yourself a break. I admire your insight about recognizing and admitting your struggle. I wish you the very best with the “stuff and things.â€
I am in a similar season right now, and it seems unending and in slow motion. But, you know in the middle of it I have seen God work amazing things. I have learned things about myself. This time of waiting has just been a blessing. And isn’t it so rare to see that in the middle of the thing? I will pray that God reveals Himself and His plan to you, and that it goes easily for you. I will pray that you have patience and peace during this time of waiting.
Wishing you blessings,
Michele
Isn’t God so funny! You, like I generally do, are approaching Him like our toddlers do us, “Lord! I want what I want and I want it NOW!!!!” And there your precious just-barely-older-than-a-toddler is telling you, “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.â€
Don’t be too hard on yourself. God knows — He made us human. And He knows that this uber-vague-conundrum will EVENTUALLY show you AGAIN: He does great things beyond our understanding. And He will clap His hands in glee when you tell Him. I just hope you’ll tell us what in tarnation is going on THEN! :-)
It seems like Janet and I live “in the waiting place so often.” I pray that you will soon learn the outcome of whatever is weighing on your heart.
I can easily be a rightthissecond person as well. We are seriously praying, hoping for and awaiting something huge that we KNOW is coming and that God has it taken care of. I have to learn to just let go and let God. So much easier said than done. The struggle continues………
Remember that old hymn, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way…
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey”? Praying for you all.
My husband and I are in a similar place of having to wait. We have been waiting over a year for one answer and over three years for another.
Job 37:5, that’s a great verse. I’m gonna have to memorize that one myself.
Wow how appropriate was the verse your son quoted!!
God wanted to remind you and comfort you.
Waiting is hard but the reward is so worth it!
I will be praying :)
Kim
Praying for you and D, and it’s not because I don’t totally relate to what you so well articulates or because I’m a rightthissecond person too; it’s mainly because I know how hard it is to find patience when you’re waiting on God to whom a second is a thousand years and a thousand years is a second. But remember to trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. Perhaps he’s working on your hearts before working on whatever it is on which you are on pins and needles. It’s all good when it’s all God.
So relatable! Isn’t it amazing how we think we are the only ones dealing with whatever it is we are, when there are so many others in the same boat. Different circumstances, same patience and character building stuff! Am there now with my husband as well. I will pray for you guys. I liked how you defined your need….cause Lord knows it could be a lot worse,(speaking for myself as well) but it still is a tough spot to be in. Well, I am so exhausted I’m afraid of what I may type next so I better stop for now. :-)
Your “sobbing heap” line just made me laugh so loud it made the dog bark. Keep the faith, dear one. It’s hard to wait on “His time”, isn’t it?
Beautiful.
As I read, a song came on my iTunes shuffle- “Hello Lord” by Sarah Groves. Listen or read the lyrics. It’s sweet and honest.
Praying for you- glad you asked. Your writing has made us friends, whether you knew it or not :) so it is my pleasure to pray.
And that is why it’s called the faith of a child.
It’s not always easy to have when we grow up, is it?
Posts like this are why I love you to pieces. :)
And I’m praying, too.
“I’ve been a little ticked off with how my selfishness and my impatience have been exposed over and over again.”
Well articulated, friend. Puts words to my pulverized thoughts.
Praying–
BooBaby Podcast. That cracked me up.
Waiting stinks. I’m with you on that, but Alex nailed it for us grownups, didn’t he.
As we continue to wait for Dr. ID to ever. make. contact. with. the. known. world, I Will cling to Mr. A’s wise wisdom.
And, I’ll pray for you and D as well.
I can so relate to your feelings right now, and yes, mine isn’t life threatening either. It still is challenging, and God will bring us through. Praying for you and the fam. Loved The Office tonight too!
We don’t need burning bushes for signs. We just have to not be blind to what God is already showing us…
God bless,
Sallie
BooMama, I will pray, too. Even when we think God is silent, he is actually moving forward ahead of us, planning and preparing for that ONE SPECIAL MOMENT when He will just blow your socks off! His timing is perfect.
I used to say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I’ve change my thinking on that. I think HE DOES give us more than we can handle so that we can call out to Him for help and guidance and strength and peace.
Blessings to you and your precious family.
Can I just say, I love your titles? This one in particular. Okay, now I’m going back to read the post.
Okay, I’m back. I’m glad you didn’t keep your struggles to yourself. Thank you for sharing, and we will pray for you. And what a marvelous verse that Alex is memorizing. I’m embarrassed to say I’m not sure I’ve come across that one before. Not that I spend much time in Job. But anyway. ((hug)) I hope everything works itself out SOON.
“And I pray that I would patiently trust Him – whatever His timetable might be.”
Amen sister!
And BooBaby ’07…
TOO FUNNY! Seriously, that would be SO MUCH FUN!
Praying for y’all!
I am behind in my reading, but am glad that I’m catching up…cause I’ve got some prayin’ for a friend to do. So off I go to do it. But first, it strikes me that God is using your four year old’s memory verse…to encourage many more hearts than most young folk his age ever has the chance to touch! That just strikes me as something our huge God might do.
Love and prayers, friend!
Holly
I think my comment just got eaten…Sophie, I’m praying for your family!
Love,
holly
Amen, Alex! Preach it, brother! And I am SO having my boys memorize that verse! God’s word never returns void, does it. What a great Boomama you are :)
Miss BooMama I just came from a blog that some friends at church keep. And I think you (or anyone else for that matter) would be so encouraged by it today. I know I was!
http://www.art-4-the-heart.blogspot.com
I hope you can get there….
First of all, I think your old school earphones are FABULOUS! After all, balloon skirts, leggings w/ lace, and large, insanely shiny faux-patent belts are back. So foam-cushioned earphones are *really* on the cutting edge of fashion; let no one tell you (or look at you) otherwise.
Next, I read this for the first time yesterday and teared up — we can *certainly* relate and your son’s verse was *definitely* humbling; that good kind of head down, heart full, eyes running kind of humbling. Thank you — THANK YOU — for sharing your journey. I pray that God will establish the work of your hands, will renew your strength as you wait, and whether you look to the left or the right, you’ll hear His voice saying, “THIS is the way….”
(Oh… and I hope He provides lots and LOTS of laughter and CHOCOLATE! :) )
Just now reading this and I’m praying for you. I’ve had a hard, hard week of things that don’t make sense, are out of my control, and are really painful. What I know is this- God wastes nothing, He’ll bring about good, and I can trust His character. And blessed are those who wait on the Lord. Love to you, Boo.
Perhaps a prophetic word spoken by your OWN child, in your OWN kitchen. What an awesome God we serve.
Sending a big hug and chocolate wishes. Because chocolate helps everything. xxxooogretchen
God promises us in Isaiah 43:2 that “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I WILL be with you.”
We are NOT alone and yet at times I KNOW it feels as though we are.
I love this verse and claim it often. I have to stand on this promise and KNOW its true. I have to believe it will all my being. There is no room for doubt.
Honestly girl…
If I kept my struggles to myself I would have no blog. I’m certain there’s a BIG RED X(and sirens) warning people to stay away with a sign that reads:
WARNING! Enter at your own risk!
“Crazy, Sad, Wacky, Abnormal, Depressed, Scary, Insane, Angry” has thrown up all over these pages! Choose your path carefully! And watch out for the completely Psycho momma on the other side of the screen pounding away at the keyboard spewing yet more ARGH for the world to read. LOL
So see. It’s realy quite normal your behaviour and all. :0) I’m like you in that if I were to try and write a “normal, happy, cheerful, fun, crafty or yummy recipe” post(cause I would really LOVE to)but, my mind just won’t allow it. I have to dump whats there first and THEN I pray at some point I can toss in something “Fun”
So have at it girlie! Spill. Spew. Spit. Dump. Pour. Gush. Let the flood gates OPEN! Get it out however you please cause you know what….
I don’t mind and I feel confident in saying that nobody else minds either.
We wouldn’t be here otherwise my dear friend. :0)
Hugs,
Trina
I used to pray for patience until I realized NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! I was constantly waiting for things to happen. Then I realized I want patience and I want it now!! And stopped praying for it.
It’s miraculous how the Lord uses little mouths to say what we need to hear. Go Alex.
OK, I don’t know why I’m so behind on your blog, but I’m just reading this via your bday post. And what a beautifully vague yet profound post! I love hearing kids quote scripture. He’ll know it for the rest of his life and he’ll know it’s true!