I’m Off To See The Wizard

This afternoon, at approximately 2:30 central time, my two inch-long roots and I are going to be crowned with some of the finest chemicals and color processes known to man. Because we have an appointment with The Hair Wizard.

Alex and I are going to head to my hometown around lunchtime, and even though it’s going to be a very quick trip, the little man is thrilled to death because he is bound and determined that my daddy is going to take him to McDonald’s and THAT! IS SUCH! A TREAT!

I know. We really need to get out more.

However, last night we did eat at Jason’s Deli, mainly because Alex’s school had a fall extravaganza yesterday afternoon, and no way was I cooking after spending a chunk of my afternoon running a cupcake walk and trying to stay out of the path of the older kids who seemed to all have these containers of inky liquid that they delighted in squirting on one another, and of course I had to just smile at them and laugh off their inky liquid-related antics because, after all, it’s a fall extravaganza! It’s big fun! We’re all happy!


Alex thought the whole fall carnival-type thing was just delightful, and my friend NK got a huge kick out of watching him see his friends and then scream something along the lines of, “KATIE! KAAAAAAAAAAAAA-TIE! HEY! KATIE!” before he enveloped a startled Katie in a bear hug that nearly knocked her over right there in front of the inflatables.

My favorite Alex moment was when he saw a little boy and said, “JOHN! JOOOOOOOOO-OHN! HEY! JOHN!” and then threw his arms around John’s shoulders, only guess what, it wasn’t John after all, oh no, it was a complete stranger who, once freed from Alex’s embrace, looked up at his mother and whispered, “Mama? Mama? I don’t even know that boy who just hugged me.”

I was so proud.

Anyway, a little hair therapy is going to be just the thing to wrap up this crazy week. I am going to sit in that salon and I am going to drink massive quantities of coffee and I am going to read me an Us magazine and maybe enlist the aid of a magnifying device to determine just how pregnant J.Lo is and whether or not she might be expecting twins.

It’s going to be an afternoon filled with Deeply Meaningful Activities.

Also: I really need to figure out how I can lose 35-40 pounds before Shannon and Melanie get here next week. So if you have any tips on that, I’d love to hear them.

Obviously, I am all about some realistic weight loss goals.

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  1. If anyone happens to give you a great tip on losing the 35-40 pounds in a week, please, please pass that tip on to me! :) I hope you have a very relaxing time at the Hair Wizard!

  2. I’m with Jenny… I’d like that tip too, please. Provided it doesn’t come with heart-exploding medications or somesuch.

  3. Oh, and pictures, Sophie! We need PICTURES when you’re done with your sassy hair at The Wizard’s!

  4. 35-40 pounds? What are your thoughts on elective amputation?

  5. Boomama enjoy your delightful hair/magazine/me time. I hope your roots are banished and the small talk delightful

  6. Ahhhh, a classic moment for poor Alex…how hilarious. The poor other child, so bewildered by his new found friend.
    Made me laugh out loud, thanks :)

  7. Oooooohhhhh….we all love our hair wizard…..part of me is jealous even though its not my hair color time….just the magazine, coffee, someone doing something to my hair time is just dreamy!!!

    Have a great time! And ya’ll make sure you take 101 million pix of the weekend next weekend. We all want to be there with you. :)

  8. I went to my wizard today and I feel like a new woman…pregnant and all. Ugh! Anyway, I’m sure it will be worth its weight in gold!

    After having made a trip to Hattiesburg a few weeks ago….keeping in mind I have no idea how far Jackson is from us but I saw signs for it…..I don’t see how you make that trip so often (or as often as it seems). Lord help, I hated the drive. Of course, I was pulling a horse trailer also and I’m sure you never have to do that – lol!

    Somewhere I missed that Ms Rocks and Ms Big were coming to our grand state….how fun!

  9. Let me tell you.. Weight Watchers is a serious miracle worker. That’s all I’m sayin’!! :)

  10. Don’t you dare lose that much weight, because then I’ll have to lose that much weight, and…well…I don’t want to stop eating the Halloween candy.

  11. Have a happy hair day….and Sophie? You look beautiful darlin’! Don’t change a thing for Melanie and Shannon. They’ll agree.

    The elective amputation comment made me laugh, though…hee hee!

  12. Another vote for Weight Watchers. I used to work for WW and while you can’t pull off 35-40 lbs in a week, you could easily drop a couple pounds in that time. I saw it all the time with new members on Week 1.

    Yeah for the Hair Wizard. My Hair Wizard is changing salons. I’m a little traumatized. Its silly but I worry a little that she won’t be able to work her hair magic in a new chair.

  13. I have no weightloss tips, but I say JLo is about 4 months along.

  14. I just got back from a morning at the salon. I read two People magazines, and one of them had a list of crazy celebrity weight loss methods. The most memorable ones were Liv Tyler, who receives colonics, Mariah Carey, who had a diet of eating only purple foods, and someone else I can’t remember who only ate watercress soup. NEAT! PTL for sassy, fresh hair!

  15. Only way I know to lose that much weight it that time span is to drop the hubby off at Wal-mart for the duration. LOL. Have a great weekend. Hope the hair turns out great.

  16. Sounds like a fun time. Have a great weekend!

    I actually started this week walking and trying to watch what I eat. We’ll see how I do…. I need to lose weight too and I’m praying I stick with it! I have put everyone else first for so many years and it’s time I start to think about myself. Not selfishly, just putting “getting healthier” on the list of things “to do” and not leaving it off completely!

  17. Happy Rooting!
    I tried pausing my DVR to better see JLo’s belly on Dancing w/Stars this week. I say one baby, 4.5 mos along.

    Did I miss it somewhere? Are you having a party with Shannon and Melanie??? How fun!!! Don’t you lose weight for it…I doubt they’d want any less BooMama to enjoy!

  18. I understand immediate weight loss goals. In the attempt to appear slim, I have performed sit ups and leg lifts 10 minutes before leaving my house to create the illusion of a toned body.

    Good hair trumps any weight loss issue is my own personal philosophy.

  19. Losing 35/40 pounds before next week? Let me know how that works out for ya! You made ma laugh out loud today, thank you!

  20. OH NO! You’re at the hair wizard and left us hanging about the jewelry…THE JEWELRY!!!! Come back, BooMama, come back!!!!!

  21. i have not gone to get my hair “done” in a year. i have horrible grow out and roots and eveything. this is because i wanted to know what my true haircolor actually is. am i gray? am i really darker, or does it just look dark in the root area. if darker, how much darker. i just really wanted to know. i still get it cut and am fixin’ to get it cut again, but it is all one length and to my shoulders. i wear it in a ponytail/bun thing most of the time.

  22. Nothing like a visit from some “skinnier than you” friends you haven’t seen in awhile (or in this case EVER!) to make you realize you need to lose a few pounds! I always realize this about 10 days before hand. Have a wonderful afternoon of chemical processing and Us magazine. Be sure to update us on J.Lo’s state, I’m on the edge of my seat!

  23. You are absolutely the funniest woman I know – and that my friend is a compliment…yes maam, it is!!! oh my goodness, I’ve started talking like you. :) I love your blog. Hope your hair turns out beautifully. Oh yea, and on the weight thing. I think if I chopped off one boob, that might be good for about 20 pounds, at least it feels like it. hee hee
    And I had to laugh at the Alex moment when he hugged “John” …you know what would have been really funny? If the kid’s name was “howard”!!!! Don’t you think?

    Have a great weekend.

  24. So, when do we receive dispensation to be soft and cuddly? How many more years must we diet and lie on our drivers’ licenses before we just smile that big ol’ Paula Deen smile and add some more butter to whatever it is we happen to be eating?

  25. Clemntine says:

    I typically drop 40 or so in the week after I have a baby. You might try that. I have found that trick only works at the end of a pregnancy, which can put a kink in things.

    Good luck at the Hair Wizard, and, do tell…did the faux suade shoes survive the Fall Extravaganza?

  26. Well, hey, I went to my own personal hair wizard today, too. Only I’m very saddened by the fact that she tells me she’s getting out of the hair business. She never wanted to be IN the hair business, but it ended up being a way to support the family when her husband went back to school.

    I’m saddened because I have a Relationship with her! She’s been doing my hair for about 14 years! Can you believe that? Back when I was blonde without her help. And I’m scared that I won’t be able to find someone else that I can afford that will do the same hair magic.

    And on the weight loss thing…clothes typically weigh a few pounds. Maybe you could go naked?

  27. Go to Wally World or GNC and buy the weight loss helper – Alli (sp)? If you eat the wrong thing, it makes you spit it out (via another route). LOL

    And personally I am a little too fluffy too. And whenever I go somewhere fancy schmancy I try to take a few off. But they just creep right back on. I guess my body is comfortable where it’s at. I do try to exercise 3 times a week but sometimes it just sucks. Truly!

    Reading O magazine yesterday and it had an article about 10 minutes a day of walking. It is enough if you do it every day.

    Good luck babe!! and have fun with your buddies.


  28. I lost 20 pounds in an afternoon twice in my life. I named the first one Russ and the other was a tumor that made history with my doctor.

    I don’t recommend the second.

  29. Have a great time getting pampered and caffeinated.

    Have an even better time next weekend. I sure wish I could just even be a fly on the wall during all y’all’s dishing sessions. What stories to tell! : )

  30. Seriously, Shannon and Big Mama are coming HERE?! Could you please hint as to where you might be having lunch so I can TOTALLY STALK you!?! (Just kidding!)

    Also, I would not mind terribly if you posted a little update from the US Weekly. It’s been ages since I’ve gazed upon one of those!

  31. wear those panty hose that make you look skinny—that will help with about 7 lbs…WHAT ARE THEY CALLED…sounds like a NAME, looks like they would fit on a doll, and you have to buy them at an outlet mall cause Neiman’s charges outrageous…WHAT ARE THEY CALLED…something happens when you hit fifty to brain cells…you are going to be hilarious at 50 cause you just get funnier by the day and that’s a long way off, right? i googled panty hose and asked http://www.ask.com and they couldn’t help me…maybe i’ll just have to send you a pair…

  32. Bev- Do you mean Spanx? Running is the only way I can ever lose those last few lbs, especially as I get older! I miss my Lifetime Fitness center so much!! :( I thought your hair was super-cute already, BooMama! :)

  33. Quick weight loss ideas:

    *Have your thirtysomething tonsils removed. Right now. (You’ll feel close to death but the weight comes right off.)

    *Better yet, get some of those carnival mirrors that make you look real, real skinny. Decorate your house with them. Admire the new look every 5 seconds. Presto! By next week you’ll be feeling great – no problems!

    *Oh, and don’t forget to set your scales back a few pounds (in multiples of tens).

    *And cut the size tags out of your clothes. Or at least the tens place. Then, the 16 becomes a 6 or the 18 becomes size 8. You’ll feel much better sporting those numbers!

    Just some suggestions! :)

  34. Oooooh.. Give us pictures of the hair! I’m sure it is tres marvelous!

  35. I love that Alex loves life to the max(imum volume).

    And you can use me as your stand-in. I might be able to shave a couple of pounds for you quickly. (And it would totally take care of my envy at the same time. See, we’ll be helping each other out!)

  36. Shannon? And Melanie? I’m terribly jealous, doncha know.

  37. 35-40 pounds? Pick up a couple of them stupid weights laying around the weight bench and toss ’em outside. That’ll take care of it.