Our nine year-old leaf blower quit working at some point during the winter, and after a couple of attempts to resurrect it by replacing parts, D realized that the engine was cracked. I didn’t realize that was a big deal because I figured you could just seal it up with some duct tape or something. As you may have guessed by now, I’m a bit of an expert in small engine maintenance and repair.
Once D realized that Old Faithful was going to have to be replaced, he started researching his options. After much thought and comparison and prayer, he decided to go with an electric leaf blower instead of a gas-powered one because 1) it was cheaper 2) it had some vacuum-attachment thing-y that mulches leaves and 3) it got good reviews on Amazon. So basically it was a power tool trifecta.
This past Saturday morning D went to Lowe’s and bought the new leaf blower. Since we already owned an extension cord that’s approximately the length of a regulation-sized football field, as soon as he got home and took the leaf blower out of the box, he was in business.
Imagine, if you will, his joy. I daresay that it was palpable.
I walked outside in the midst of the new leaf blower’s introduction to our driveway, and as I looked at the box that was still on our front porch, I got a little tickled. Because somebody in Black & Decker’s marketing department knew exactly what they were doing.
Oh, it looks innocent enough.
But this B&D box offers some none-too-subtle Man Bait.
First of all, it’s a LeafHog. I have no idea what that is, mind you, but it sounds menacing. It certainly seems like a LeafHog would be bad news for leaves, doesn’t it?
It also seems like there would be no small degree of snorting.
Next, it’s a LeafBlasterTM. Not just a mover – not just a blower – a BLASTER.
Frankly I don’t know how any man could resist this product, because inherent in the LeafBlasterTM designation is the possibility that SOME LEAVES MIGHT EXPLODE.
And if the hogging and the blasting weren’t enough, this leaf blower also has an Anti-Clog Vortex. CONSIDER IT SOLD.
By the way, when I saw “Metal Impeller,” I thought that was bound to be a French term – you know, a friendly translation of “Anti-Clog Vortex” for our European friends.
But no. No. It’s actually English. And I know that to be true because I googled it.
And that’s not all, my friends. It’s also POWERFUL UP TO 240 MPH.
At first I was puzzled by this claim, because as far as I know a leaf blower is not intended to be used as a small aircraft. But then I realized that it can blow leaves at a force of up to 240 MPH, thereby rendering this model of leaf blower irresistible to anyone with a Y chromosome. Even my own husband said, “THIS THING IS FOUR TIMES AS POWERFUL AS DAMAGING WINDS.”
Man Bait. Plain and simple.
I rest my case.
My husband got a leaf blower and was quite smitten… he’s over it now. It’s become a chore and he doesn’t enjoy chores.
Anything with the word “vortex” is a winner.
I like how you specify that it was a “regulation size football field.” AKA: 100 YARDS!
Love. It!
A trifecta indeed! And with that much power, you can always claim that it’s just too much for you to be able to handle. Thus, leaf-blowing/mulching/vacuuming will never be your duty.
Ha ha I read this entire post thinking I had clicked on BigMama. The whole time I am visualizing P and Melanie. Too funny.
Funny timing….hubby just got home from Lowe’s with a HIGH powered dog hair-trimmer ’cause I casually mentioned the dogs were going to need to go this a spring hair-cut soon! Guess he plans to save a few bucks and do them himself!
We’ll see what the dogs think!
Oh. My. Word.
That is SOOOO funny.
Even made my man:
1) Sit down next to me while I read it to him,
2) Look at the pictures and,
3) LAUGH OUT LOUD.
That is a “J” trifecta in my home.
Mark’s boat is named: “Water Hog” Nuf said!
Nothing makes for a perfect Wednesday night like nearly peeing my pants. Thanks for a much needed laugh!
That is to funny!
I have the black & decker weeder & mower. I love them!!
So TOTALLY cracked me up. Totally.
lol so true
We have one of these, too. I like to say it blows AND sucks.
Man, I wish I had Black & Decker working on an ad campaign for my love life! Just imagine all the guys lined up!!
I think we have that exact one. And I’m the one who picked it out. Though, it was a sweep through the aisle, a quick comparison of features, and a “this one should be ok.”
To funny! What is it with men and power tools/yard equipment?
My husband got a similar “toy” a few years ago. After the first use, he came inside and was COVERED in bits of leaves. Apparently, he was blowing leaves out of the entry way and created a small whirlwind–of which he was the center. Dazed, confused and very happy for all the power was he.
You missed one of the more important points – the “pivoting action turbo nozzle”. Turbo makes anything better.
“Leaf Hog” is alright, but wouldn’t “Turbo Leaf Hog” be great?
“Metal Impeller” is okay, but a “Turbo Metal Impeller” would be quite the selling point.
my favorite phrase for today: power tool trifecta
I will use that in a sentence before the day is over Thursday.
“As you may have guessed by now, I’m a bit of an expert in small engine maintenance and repair.”
is one of the funniest things you have ever said. I just wanted to let you know how happy that sentence made me.
I’m laughing so that my face hurts.
First I would like to tell you (because I have that condition which compels me to let other people know what an idiot I am for the sake of a laugh) that when I read your nine-year-old leaf blower quit working I said to myself,”Wow, that’s a young guy to work for them!” I had to read the following sentences several times before I could make sense of the whole thing. I know. It’s alarming how brilliant I am.
This word, trifecta, it keeps popping up. I might have to use it. Really soon.
The last paragraph (with more than one sentence)…oh my goodness. You are funny.
And what about those flame thrower thingys?? The ones that kill weeds – ah – a Weed Wand. You or I may consider a weed wand, but men prefer the idea of flame throwers! Every man I know has acquired one.Enough said!
Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard. I called my husband on his way to work and read this to him. Even HE found it funny (and he is the KING of being drawn in by man bait). :)
Total LOL post!! Soo funny!!
So funny about the damaging winds. Love it!
Considering the force of those damaging winds, be sure he keeps his leaf blower pointed AWAY from the house! ;)
My husband loves his leaf blower. Only followed by the power washer, that has safety instructions that say *** DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND IN FRONT OF THE NOZZLE. YOU WILL BLOW A HOLE IN YOUR HAND!!!***
Okay, now go read the box aloud to your husband using your spanish accent to read the spanish language descriptors. Talk about man bait!
Oh – I am chuckling. Excellent post BooMama.
Presently, my man is researching dirt bikes after traveling with his buddies to Supercross last weekend in Dallas. He now wants to resurrect his old childhood hobby and is spending insane amounts of time comparing horsepower, wheel-bases, and other stuff I don’t get.
It’s taken me years to convince him to spend X amount of money on a new couch and it took only one weekend to convince him to spend X amount on a new dirt bike.
Oh, the power of horsepower.
Amy
That thing needs a permit.
Oh our men … they’re so easy, aren’t they :)
Absolutely brilliant! I loved it…and you are so right. My husband salivated when I called him over to read this. He didn’t even know it, but he was “marketed” to with your post! He thought I was ordering it! NO KIDDING! He said, “that’s awesome for father’s day! Get it!”
Oh Sophie! You make me laugh. Hard! I have been reading your blg for sometime, but I have never left a comment. I laugh and laugh every time. I also wanted to tell you congratulations on your article in Home Life. I read it last night and it was great…I didn’t realize it was you until I started reading…and then, as I was reading, it started sounding like classic “you”….it just tickled me. So congratulations! You are so talented! Also, I must say your blog about hot rollers is at the top of my “most favorite blog ever” list! I myself have a long lasting love affair with hot rollers. I tried to quit cold turkey in the fall, and I was successful…for a season….but then, this morning, in a moment of intense weakness, I pulled them out and plugged them up…..and I was so happy! I felt like an addict who had rediscovered her poison! (But I mean addict in the best way possible…if you can mean it in a good way) Anyway, me and the hot rollers have reunited and it feels so good! Have a great day!
So funny and SOOo very true.
‘Man bait’ – LOL If only yard tools where man bait for my husband. Unfortunately his eye catchers are more indoor things such as …gaming systems (yes I married a dork -haha). This post makes me laugh.
***were** not where…. I even re read it. DUH
Those marketing peeps at Black and Decker know what sells! : )
The back of the LeafHog’s head is flaming!
LEAFHOG = FLAMES!
FLAMES = FIRE!
FIRE = COOK MEAT!
COOK MEAT = SATISFY MAN!
*ERGO*
LEAFHOG = SATISFY MAN!
GRUNT! GRUNT! MUST HAVE LEAFHOG TO BE SATISFIED MAN!
Oh no, nothing in marketing is an accident, is it? ;) Hee hee.
So true!
When we bought our first house, my husband could not wait to show off his new plunger. Yes, I said PLUNGER!
Imagine my embarrassment EVERY TIME we had company when my man would come running from the bathroom with the plunger waving over his head. He never even gave them a chance to get settled and greeted. He’d hear the doorbell ring and go running for the plunger.
The man bait: it had a pump attachment that BLEW the clog down the toilet pipes.
You are hysterical. Loved it!
my hubby has one on order. i commiserate with you. i laugh with you. i will meet you at the steinmarts so we can get even!!!
Have you ever compared the wording on men’s deodorant vs. women’s?
It’s enlightening, that’s all I’m saying.
The only thing that’s missing is a picture of a busty blonde using the leaf blower as it blows up her skirt a la Marilyn Monroe… ;)
I think J bought the same one this fall. They can have a leaf blasting party!