That Stuffy, Achy, Touch-O-The-Plague Feeling

Helllllloooo, internets of the universe. Or universe of the internets. Or y’all.

Where to begin?

Let’s see.

This past Saturday morning the little man woke up with a fever and so much chest congestion that he sounded like a tree frog crossed with a pack of Marlboro Menthols crossed with Kathleen Turner. I believe “raspy” is the word that would best apply. He felt terrible, and he remained in his pitiful estate until Tuesday morning when he hopped out of bed, told me he felt like he was going to throw up, looked pale as a whisper, went back to bed for about ten minutes, started to perk up, asked for some bacon and toast, then promptly pronounced himself ready to go back to school.

So that happened.

But then later that morning I felt like I had a little bit of a cold coming on, and by Tuesday afternoon I knew that I too had been stricken by the plague. Wednesday morning I didn’t have a voice. Today I’ve been better, but now I’m the one who sounds like a tree frog crossed with a pack of Marlboro Menthols crossed with Kathleen Turner.

Which reminds me: does anyone remember how, in the late 90s, Kathleen Turner started talking like someone who wasn’t entirely familiar with the English language? And sometimes she’d do interviews and say things like, “It was a wonderful opportunity to – oh, how do you say? – expand my horizons?

(And you’d better believe she’d drop the “h” on “horizons” like it was a hot potato.)

(Or an “ot potato,” as it were.)

That used to make me so happy. So happy, in fact, that I just used the Google and found an old interview with Kathleen Turner on the “Today” show where she repeatedly pronounced “been” as “bean.”

Good times.

Anyway, in addition to fighting off the various and sundry infirmities that have made their way to our house, I’ve been pushing through what will be affectionately known as DEADLINE ’11 for the rest of my earthly days. I had a huge (UUUUUUUUUGE, as Mrs. Turner might say) work deadline earlier this week – in addition to a couple of bloggy / write-y things that were due Monday – and now that the week is (almost) over I’m having a hard time shaking the feeling that there’s a big ole DUE DATE breathing down my neck. But alas: no.

I’d totally do a hitch kick if I weren’t afeared that I’d permanently damage my ankle.

Now. Let us please to talk about the TV.

[I just typed a whole bunch about “Oprah” and then realized that it’s going to have to be a separate post. Because I’ve been watching the Oprah show this season after about a three year break from it, and I have so many, many thoughts that I will share at another time, oh thank you.]

[But the twin sisters who were on the show today won my heart forever, they did.]

Here are the shows with which I am somewhat obsessed right now:

1) Top Chef – I couldn’t believe that [not naming the name because I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen it yet] had to pack his/her knives and go last night, but that’s what’s been so great about this season. Totally unpredictable – and it’s clear that people really are being voted off for their work in each challenge and not being protected because of their body of work or their reputation. Right now I think Richard is probably the favorite to win – and I think Antonia and Carla are the dark horse contenders. Either one of them could easily pull an upset.

2) Survivor – I haven’t even watched last night’s episode yet, so it’s a pretty bold step-out for me to say that I’m obsessed with a show that I haven’t even seen. So how do I know I’m going to love it? Two words: Boston Rob.

3) American Idol – Oh, people. Peoplepeoplepeoplepeople. It’s never been better. Last night the whole Jacee-needs-a-group thing just unnerved me, but at the end? When he made it through? And his group cheered? And then Scotty McCreery apologized from the stage and could hardly celebrate the fact that he made it through because he was so remorseful about the way his group treated Jacee? I would like to tell you that it made me teary-eyed, but I’m pretty sure that I just flat-out WEPT.

So are y’all watching any of these? Have any thoughts or preferences or predictions?

I would love to – how do you say? – hear your thoughts.

And by all means, do have a lovely evening.

And please know that I’ve missed you terribly.

Edited to add: I watched “Survivor” late last night, and I have to say that the tribal council was some of the finest television these eyes have ever witnessed. For all the reasons I expected – and some that I didn’t. Like Phillip. MY WORD.

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  1. Don’t you mean ear our thoughts? ;)

    Glad to hear you’re starting to feel better!

  2. I have got to get back on the Idol wagon. I haven’t watched a single episode yet this season. I am currently laid up in bed with the same ailment . I feel like my lungs and throat are–how do you say–on fire! Fever and carpool were not working for me today.
    Glad you are on the mend.

  3. I am not ashamed that I flat out BAWLED at the whole Jacee situation. And my husband just stared at me with this incredulous look on his face – “how could she be crying over this???” OMG, has he not been married to me for 7+yrs. I am a sucker for a the underdog. And precious hearts like that.

  4. So sorry you were struck with the plague. We had the flu and it’s slowly getting back to normal, although my baby has strep now.

    Can’t believe I ‘aven’t watched Top Chef this season. I didn’t even know it was on.

    American Idol? Love it more than ever. That’s saying something after this many years.

  5. I can’t get over how much I love Boston Rob. He’s one of those people that I wish I was friends with in real life. I want to make dinner for him and invite him over to watch a movie.

  6. Watched Idol last night; hubby had DVR’d it because he had to work late. Loved the group with the stage mamas and thought that their performance was wonderful. Didn’t even mind the mamas, although that kind of thing usually drives me up the wall. Then — drats! the tape ran out after an hour and 33 minutes so we didn’t get to see it all. Same thing going on tonight, we’ll be watching later on — it had better all be there or I’m going to start watching it by myself, earlier!

  7. oh my goodneSS…Welcome back..hope you feel all better!
    um cant WAIT to hear your thoughtS on oprah!!!!!!!!
    So hurry and poSt!!
    and oo Survivor you are in for a treat…!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hilariouS!


    THE END!

  8. I don’t like that Scotty boy! Sorry….I think that was fake!

    Hope yall get better soon!

  9. ps i am not a fan of scotty..or of ashley the train wreck..if you cant remember your words GO HOME!

  10. I am soooooo glad you jumped on the Idol bandwagon! I remember when you asked if we thought it was worth tuning in, and I was in the “HECK YES!” camp. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying it.

    And I’m a Top Chef and Survivor fan, too. And I, too, was surprised by last night’s elimination … I thought it would be, well, someone else. (Don’t want to spoil it!)

  11. A.) I’m going to need the link to that Kathleen Turner interview, please and thank you!

    B.) Two clues as to who I’m pulling for in Top Chef: HOOTIE HOO!

    C.) Oh, Survivor. Just when I try to give it up, they suck me back in what with the Boston Rob and Snakey Russell and Redemption Island. Get ready for some crazy in this crew!

    D.) AI- I was right there weeping with you. And how much do you love Jennifer Lopez? The little brother of one of my former student’s told me my hair looked just like hers and all is now right in my world. {Sidenote: I don’t know that it really does, but he is now my favorite child.}

  12. I think that I too, am getting the plague. My daughter has had the goo all week and I totally blame it on the weather. However, Starbuck’s Peppermint Mocha ice cream (found at The Walmarts) does WONDERS for a sore throat. And calories don’t count if it’s medically necessary. Or so I tell myself as I devour the carton in one sitting.

    My fave on AI is still the girl who sang with Steven Tyler during her audition. Lauren. That’s it. She’s got a set of pipes on her!

  13. Well, it’s just wonderful that you and the little man are on the mend. And just to think you have so much good TV to take your mind off the illness and the deadlines of yore…
    I don’t do survivor or AI, but I do love Top Chef, although have missed several episodes this time around. I am quite anxious to hear your thoughts on Miss Oprah, as I occasionally have a thought or two on her myself.
    Deadlines done! God is Good!

  14. I totally rock with Top Chef! The person I am cheering for was in the bottom chefs again this week. I am afraid my chef will go home next. A co-worker of mine knows this chef. They went to high school together.

    Survivor has finally re-invented itself again. I hope it keeps my interest this season. The final curtain might be falling.

    I have been watching WTM (white trash Monday) this season. I am not a person who normally watches The Bachelor. But a cousin of mine, along with several other ladies, and I trash talk the show on Face Book. It is a highlight of my week. Then to calm down I watch the Duggars.

  15. 1) Boston Rob is the bomb-diggity. I *heart* him to no end. Last night’s Tribal Council was KRAZEE & I loved it. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the season holds.

    2) I am so loving American Idol this season. The new judges are amazing. I had a favorite contestant during auditions, Scott Dangerfield from Milwaukee, and I know he made it to Hollywood, but I haven’t seen him at all since. I’m worried he got cut during the first round & they didn’t show it. I will be so bummed.

  16. Have you been watching Oprah’s Behind the Scenes of the 25th Season on her new network (OWN)? I’m absolutely hooked. I too have just begun to watch Oprah after a couple of years of mostly not watching…not for any particular reason, just life gets in the way of me sitting down at 3pm to watch her (but happily the DVR has changed that for me!), but the Behind the Scenes show is really well done. I’m already sad for when her season ends and I can’t watch it anymore ;)

  17. I am loving A I this season but I still wish they’d skip group night. I’ve never gotten the point of this since they go on to be solo performers. If they’re going to do group nite I wish they’d draw straws or at least set a deadline as to when people have to form their groups. It was painful to watch the Jr. High shenanigans!

  18. I haven’t watched Survivor since it’s earliest years, but this season we have a friend on the show. . . well, my husband’s friend, Matt from Nashville. Such a cutie pie and though you didn’t hear his name or see him much in episode one, we are hoping he will do REALLY well. He was the cute blond with a yellow shirt on on Boston Rob’s team (and he really looks more like a surfer dude from Cali than a Nashville boy)!

    I’d love to hear your thoughts on Oprah. I DVR it each day and then decide later if I want to watch it. I have seen some GREAT episodes this season. I’d love love love to hear your thoughts about what you have seen. I have some thoughts about Oprah maybe one day I will share too. :) But I will tell you, cause you would appreciate this, that in college, when I would drive back and forth from Nashville to Knoxville, I would “pretend” that I was being interviewed by Oprah. We had conversations – OUTLOUD – in my car. I did this partly to stay awake and partly cause I was really into Oprah at the time, and partly cause it was how I dreamed. . . telling her of my life with my husband and kids, blah blah blah (even though I hadn’t had a date in a year at the time). Anywho. . .

    We are watching America Idol this season and I love to watch Jennifer Lopez cause she is gorgeous and Steven Tyler makes me laugh each week. And he has an especially sweet, gentle side to him that I have come to like too. As for the contestants, I love the raspy bluesy guy (I think you mentioned him once) and the teenage blonde from NC but at the Nashville tryouts – can’t think of her name at all.

    That’s all. Did I just write my own blog post in your comment section? Sorry about that. Maybe I need to start blogging again, myself! hahaha

  19. Those sweet twins you saw on Oprah are from my town. I didn’t know them, but The Hubster works with the man who was the neighbor who helped save them. Here’s a link to the newspaper series that led to their appearance on the show. It’s a gut-wrenching but good read. You get to find out more about their rescuers faith.

  20. Oh, Top Chef is my one tv must-have! I have to watch it live, not DVR’d because I just can’t wait. I thought this week’s challenge was so hard, and I thought it was funny that everyone made soup! I was surprised about the elimination as well. I’m rooting for Dale. I know he’s not the nicest guy, but for some reason I just really like him. I think he’ll be in the finale with Richard and maybe Antonia. Carla just can’t handle a time crunch very well.

    Is it too late to get on board the AI train this season? You all are awfully convincing. . .

  21. I am SO glad you brought up Top Chef. Am I the only one who was concerned that they were using all the Target equipment and utensils and such straight out of the box or off the rack without washing them first? Because that ladle that Mike ran to get at the end? I’d prefer he washed it before he dipped my soup with it. Also, I think Dale might be a frontrunner, too, though I prefer Richard or Carla.

  22. This made me laugh SO much! My little Louisiana sister married a French Canadian and bore him four French babies and is (now) bilingual. When we visit them in Quebec (please to pronouce “Ke-beck” and not “kwe-beck”) it doesn’t take me long to develop that little hitch in my speech pattern, like I’m searching for the English words (which are, by the way, the only words I have!). Pretentious much? Get better soon, sweetie!

  23. Love, love, love American Idol this year. Was totally sick of it but it has redeemed itself a thousand times already. I had my girls (12 and 9) on the couch with me last night and we were watching group night (me for the second time) and I totally used the Jacee/Scott thing as a life lesson and bawled my eyes out both times.

    Top Chef. How do I love thee. My 9 year old’s heart desire is to eat at Fabio’s place in California. Not sure how we’ll work that since we live in Dayton, Ohio………
    We are huge fans of Carla and Richard and have decided that we will be completely heartbroken each week from now on since we love them all…….

    Hope you feel better:)

  24. Those two sisters, Ellen and Helen are from my hometown! They’re local celebreties, for sure, and both are in the hospital right now with the flu.

  25. I rarely (was gonna say “never”, but you know those superlatives will get you into trouble….) watch “Oprah”, BUT today I caught the part with those two precious sisters. Oh. My. They were DARLING. I wish I had that much spunk NOW, much less at 82. (And I loved the one who kept saying, “She’s five minutes older, but I’m fifty pounds heavier….”)

  26. I am so behind on my DVR’d tv watching, but…..

    Top Chef: I haven’t watched all of this week’s show yet, so thank you for not spoiling it for me. I want to be friends with Carla.

    Survivor: I was excited about the show this season just because of the new Redemption Island twist, then they added Boston Rob!! Have mercy! I have to re-watch tribal council. I have 4 kids who chose that exact time to need my attention, so I missed bits and pieces, but what I did see? Fine tv viewing!

    AI: I feel a little out of the loop. First my DirecTv reciever box thingie died, then once that was replaced, a branch fell and broke my dish, and then once that was replaced, my entire TV died. I feel like I’m the new kid at school just getting to know the contestants. All I’ll say is it takes some seriously large cahones to sing an Aerosmith song to Stephen Tyler!

    Oh, and my 5 month old has a touch of the plague. NO FUN! :(

  27. I was going to boycott AI this year because, well all the changes, but I did give it a shot. Still on the fence about Steven Tyler, but love J-Lo. And her hair, don’t even get me started…A.MAZ.ING
    I hate group night anyway. It causes me such anxiety! And the hole Jaycee thing had me in knots! He handled it so gracefully though and did not throw his old team under the bus even though he had the opportunity. The whole scene just made me want to scoop him up and bring him home and feed him ice cream and tell him everything was going to be all right. I had the same reaction to that Where the Wild Things Are kid and that wasn’t even real. I may have issues.
    Anyway, Hollywood week is so stressful for me to watch. I am super excited to find out who the top 24 will be. I can’t imagine. Everyone seems really good. I know they say that every year is the best, but there really does seem to be a lot of stand outs this year.

  28. I just knew, no – TRUSTED, that you would bring up the Jaycee thing on AI. I’ve never really watched, but I did the other night and I full out bawled, too. Oh my…
    Bless his precious, precious heart.

    And Top Chef used to be one of our favorite shows, but we lost track. What day and time is it on now, because I recognize each name that you put up there, so I’m guessing it’s a “championship” kind of thing? Is Marcel on there?! He’s so cooly obnoxious that I heart him. :)

  29. Hope you feel better!

    I DO remember when Kathleen Turner went all bass and started talking weird! She HAD to have suddenly taken voice lessons or something. It was so strange!

    Have to catch up on the show, but I am LOVING Idol this season. Didn’t expect to like it this much. I did heart me some Simon.

  30. I will be mightily sad if Richard doesn’t at least get into the finals on Top Chef All Stars! Although there are others I’m rooting for as well–it’s a really fun, but really hard season to watch because I cheered for so many of them during their individual seasons. I’d be thrilled if Carla got to the finals as well–I was sad for her during her season when she didn’t follow her gut instincts in the finals. I was also shocked about who went home this week! I may have shed a few tears over it too–which is probably a sad commentary on my life! I’m so glad I got to comment about this here–my husband listens, but he’s not into it so it’s not as fun. :-)

  31. About Survivor, I’m a Boston Rob fan all the way because I think he still has a heart. Russell is a little questionable. But I’ve decided to cheer for the yellow team because 1) Boston Rob and 2) the blonde Fabio 2.0 from Nashville (Matt) who opened the show with “My faith is everything. I pray every day as I strive to become more like my Savior.”

    May God be with him.

    Also, about American Idol. The talent pool is above and beyond this year. I’m having a hard time picking out the ones that truly stand out. But CASEY ABRAMS. OH. MY.

  32. I always have thought that if I was caught in a tragic accident and had to give up my beloved southern accent that I woulf love to sound like Kathleen Turner, before she got all weird sounding. Like maybe back in her Body Heat days.

  33. For that plaque, icky, sick stuff…take Airborne. Get it at Walgreens, if you take it 3 times a day, you will feel alot better faster. I was only down for 2 days. I have had the gunky flem for 2 wks but at least I can function and that’s the important part for moms. TMI with the describing words? Yeah, I know, my family is about to find me another place to live, they are so sick of my GUNK.
    I now have to watch Survivor. I hope they do that Saturday night rerun thing so I can catch it…guess I could do Hulu and watch tho.

  34. Reality TV is so much fun. It is wrong on so many levels- that poor little crazy girl having the melt down on AI, Camille on RHBH, everything about the Bachelor. And yet, I can’t quit watching. Then there are the moments like Jaycee, and that precious black man that has that amazing range, and when he cried , I cried, and then the stage mother’s and their kids, and I cried again. Oh I was a blubbering fool.

  35. OH MY. AI this year is BEYOND awesome! I have totally developed a HUGE nonsexual crush on Casey Abrams (NONsexual cause the beard kinda freaks me out tobehonest). When he brought out the cello I just about DIED! And it was sooooo GOOOOOD! I also have a mild crush on John Wayne :) His tryout just made me weep like a little girl! He is just A DOLL! There are a few girls I like too but can’t remember their names lol. I’m kinda done with the tweaker girl from MA … she just can’t seem to keep it together and if she’s not handling the camera time too well AT THIS STAGE in the game, well it isn’t going to get any better! I’m surprised to made it through actually.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  36. I don’t watch any of those shows. I don’t like ‘reality’ shows. (don’t hate) If I’m going to watch tv it better be unbelievable and not at all possible…with a hint of conspiracy theory thrown in for good measure. I like to be entertained. I have enough reality in my own little world. Right now my very favorite is Bones. Just seeing a commercial for the show makes me smile. Am I strange because I think, “oh, my friends…how I miss you.” I think that comes from watching all the seasons of Bones in a 2 month time period to catch up to this season. How can you not LOVE Boothe??
    I really, really need to leave the house more.

  37. I am anxious to hear your “Oprah” thoughts. I – like you – have been on a self-imposed Oprah hiatus for the last 3 years as well and have been watching many of the season 25 shows. I can’t seem to turn away and I’m always confused when I hear Oprah throw out a God Bless You and any talk of God as I don’t really think she’s a believer. I think she kind of keeps God in her back pocket….just in case. I’ll be curious to hear your take.

    I was in love with those precious twin sisters this week as well. Oh. My. Goodness. They were so adorable! I loved it when Oprah told them she had a surprise and she said “Oh, are you going to come cook for us!” So cute! I loved how excited they both were over the groceries for a year and for the $20,000 check that woman gave them. They were not excited because they were getting anything personally, but they were getting what they needed to help others and they were over the moon. Such a slap in the face to the rest of us and kind of makes this year’s Oprah’s Favorite Things audience members look like even bigger fools for getting so excited and literally worshiping about THINGS that THEY were receiving. It’s the world we live in and it’s always refreshing to see humble, giving servants appreciative of gifts that will help them help even more people in need.