We Can Pretend There Are Paragraphs

1. I’ve decided that going to the cleaners is my favorite errand. Doesn’t matter if I’m dropping off or picking up. It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment even though all I’m essentially doing is driving my car and then rolling down a window. The whole experience smells like productivity to me.

2. The area underneath my eyes is the bane of my existence right now. We are in a battle that I know I will not win. My 40s tell me so.

3. Melanie’s book trailer made its debut yesterday. Y’all are going to love this book so much. Because yes, it’s hilarious just like all of Mel’s books are, but it is also oh-so-tender. You’ll treasure your friends more than ever after you read it. Promise.

4. This season of Survivor has my undivided attention. And the fact that last night’s episode was two hours? GLORIOUS.

5. Typically we do a BooMama group bracket for March Madness, but I just didn’t get my act together this year. However, I’ve decided that UAB is going to be my tournament team – along with LSU, but that probably goes without saying (update: NC State just beat LSU, so there’s that). Kentucky seems pretty close to unbeatable to me, but it’ll still be fun to watch what happens.

6. Tonight we grilled hamburgers for the first time in a while. For my whole life I’ve eaten ketchup and mayonnaise on my hamburgers – no mustard – and I’m still deeply loyal to the ketchup and mayonnaise combo. However, as I’ve gotten older, dill pickles have become increasingly important to hamburger success. I am partial to the Vlasic Ovals. Super crunchy for a hamburger dill.

7. You’re welcome for all of this riveting information about condiments.

8. Last weekend I took Alex and a friend to see the Sponge Bob movie. I feel like I don’t even need to say anything else because a bunch of y’all said, “Oh, bless her heart” as soon as you read that, and I already feel better about those two hours that I will never, ever get back.

9. To be clear, though, I do still savor any opportunity to sit beside a certain fifth grader in a public setting.

10. I got very tickled when I watched this.

11. Hope y’all have a great weekend!

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  1. Oh my goodness….Wiz Khalifa doing Shake it Off. THAT was funny and the fact of the others even asked him if he even knew who Taylor Swift was??!!! Pure Gold and yes, Bless Your Heart.

  2. Yes, bless your mama heart for sitting through those 2 hours of Spongebob, which had to feel like 37 hours. That film looks like it would physically painful to endure, so my hat is off to you, Boo Mama. Always makes my day when I see that you’ve posted. Thanks for sending a smile from one end of the country to the other (colder!) part, in Minnesota.

    And I feel your psychic pain related to skin issues, too. I turned 50 last year, and my skin has pretty much just declared defeat and I’m looking more like the Crypt Keeper with each passing week. Enjoy those 40’s while you can, my friend.

  3. bamacurl says:

    Oh my word! I just woke my husband up laughing out loud at Jim Parsons and Wiz Khalifa.
    I feel your pain about the 40’s. I fear they have marched all over my face and turned me into my mother. She looks great in her 70’s; but my mid-forties self is not wearing it well.

  4. I never got around to filling out a bracket either. And I suppose that’s good ’cause it would have gone up in flames this afternoon after Baylor went down to Georgia State. Not to mention all the other upsets. With my Gators not even in this year and Baylor already out I will just now watch for fun and enjoy the amazing plays, crazy pep band antics, Verne Lundquist’s voice and the inevitable Kentucky win.

  5. Sponge Bob = Worst. Movie. Ever. I was thinking of solutions for parents in this situation. Some sort of one person tent that would allow you to be in the theater, yet use your device. It was THAT bad. Each of us filled out a bracket in our house, including the 10 & 7 year old. Winner gets $20 & bragging rights.

  6. Oh thank you for this! I’m sitting here. Middle of the freaking night. Doing the prep work for a medical procedure that’s coming up bright and early. I so needed the laugh!

  7. I felt the same way about the LEGO Movie. I know i’m in the minority, but I actually slept during most of it while my son kept elbowing me. I won’t even attempt Sponge Bob. Maybe I can convince him to see Cinderella?
    I’m a ketchup, mayonnaise and pickle girl, too, but I’ve got to have lettuce and tomato or all is lost.

  8. Mary Jo Oliver says:

    Why even bother with a hamburger if you don’t have pickles? And Heinz ketchup and a bit of mayo make it perfect!

  9. Terrie Cash says:

    You are momma of the year.

  10. Wait – you only have to roll down the window at the dry cleaners? You don’t have to get out of the car?? I wish we had that!!

  11. Dry cleaners was the bane of my existence this week. Every morning my husband would ask me if I could pick up the cleaning. Every morning I would say yes. And then promptly forget.

    Finally he said “I’m wearing the same pants…again.”

    It took my husband wearing dirty clothes to work for me to get my act together in the dry cleaning aspect of life. *hangs head in shame*

  12. Jennifer Pepper says:
  13. Jennifer says:

    who knew Wiz was such a player?

  14. Cindy Lurvey says:

    Thank you for putting a big Friday smile on my face to start the day! And you Pretty Young Things, wait ’till you hit 68 waiting for 69…Momma, poo, you all will be hoping for her instead of your Grandma!! But remember there is breath and life, fun and joy in every day, no matter what that ole mirror says…put a towel over it when you brush your teeth. Weekend Blessings to all of you!!

  15. Survivor just never gets old to me….

    Neither do any of the games on Jimmy Kimmel :)

  16. Wiz’s face when “Taylor Swift” was the clue. . . hilarious!

    My boys really want to see the SpongeBob movie. Given this is the last day of spring break & it’s raining and chilly, I may be going to the theater. Just hearing SpongeBob’s voice on a commercial makes me twitchy but I fear I have put it off as long as possible.

  17. I am right there with you on the subject of the SpongeBob movie. I actually fell asleep. I felt like I could have stayed home and watched SpongeBob for two hours on TV for free and got the same effect!! However, the next weekend Cinderella totally made up for it! One of the best Disney movies ever!!!

  18. Oh, honey! Bless your heart! My child went through what felt like an unending Spongebob phase several years ago. Watching the previews made me crazy enough!

  19. Maybe you are sick of recommendations, but I ordered this (really, really affordable) eye cream recently and within about a week, my under eye area felt and looked SO different. In the best way.


  20. Terri D says:

    Wishing you a good weekend, too! As for your #2….I’ve decided I need some new glasses, with big dark frames that camouflage the nastiness under my eyes. I’m serious.


    Could not catch my breath

  22. Ok, so I’m usually just a mayo girl on the burgers, but Smashburger has the best house? Smashburger? sauce that is a combo of Mayo and mustard, and probably another thing or two, that is wonderful. It also makes a great dip for their sweet potato fries. Oh, man the closest one to me is an hour away…

    I don’t want anyone to be disappointed, but I’m pretty sure (hopeful) that KY is in it to win it! I don’t go all crazy for Basketball like someone in my house does, but I always want KY to win. Especially this year I want them to have an undefeated run.

    I hear you about the eyes – I’ve fought that battle for a lot of years and they only seem to get worse with age (50’s) along with other things. Inside I still feel 16 though.

    Loved your paragraphs!

  23. #9, amen, take every opportunity! Today I took my 18 year old to visit the college he will attend in the fall and had to ask him to walk slower, pretty sure he was trying to run from me! :)

  24. Kathy Wilshire says:

    In re: #2. Welcome to the club. I hate to be a Debbie Downer but it won’t get any better as you age!
    If you find some miracle cure, be sure to share!

  25. All of that made me smile.

  26. Shannon says:

    Oh, mercy yes to #2. I have these strange dark patches that just will not go away. Will NOT. Worse: they show up most when I smile. So I can be surly and patch-less, or smiley and a raccoon.

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