I have long been fascinated by people who are cold all the time. You know who I’m talking about…usually it’s women who constantly hold their warm coffee mug up against their faces, who grab the sides of the mug as if their continued existence depends on soaking every bit of heat away from the coffee itself and into their permanently chilled bodies. These women are often seen donning scarves indoors and visibly shivering in office buildings where more often than not the thermostat is being controlled by a computer somewhere in India.

For the record, I am not one of those women.

And if you’re wondering why I’m even thinking about all of this, I have a very simple answer: because, well, it’s hot.

Now I know some of y’all enjoy balmy breezes and love to open your windows and let the fresh air pour into your homes. Some of y’all probably even enjoy sleeping outside, regardless of the fact there is no THERMOSTAT in the out of doors to enable you to CONTROL the TEMPERATURE. Some of you probably don’t even run your air conditioners, and you should know right now that the thought of someone having access to an air conditioner and opting out of using it creates a swirling vortex of confusion in my brain. Why? Why would you do that? Why?

Keep in mind that we’ve had our air conditioner on since the first of March, and we will turn it off in November.

Maybe.

The fact of the matter is that I don’t like to be hot. I’m okay with it when I know to expect it, like if I’m chasing Alex outside in the middle of July or if I go walking at noon when it’s 101 outside with 98% humidity. But I do not feel that it is God’s will for my life to ever, EVER be hot when I’m indoors. In fact, I do not feel that it is God’s will for my life to ever exist in an environment with a temperature above approximately 72 degrees, because He loves me and wants for me to be happy so that I can glorify Him. I can do no glorifying when the thermostat reads 73 or higher.

I feel that God understands that.

Eight or nine months ago David replaced our downstairs thermostat with one of those fancy digital thingamajigs that enables you to program the temperature of your home at all points in the day. He bought the silly gadget because he thought it would take the ambiguity out of our temperature interpretations (I read the old one by the top of the red line; he read it by the bottom; I imagine we were supposed to use the middle, but oh well). Anyway, it’s hard to argue temperature when you see “71” on an LCD screen.

The problem, however, is that we’ve never figured out how to work it. It has a mind of its own and decides that in the early mornings our house should be 75 degrees, then 73 degrees around noon, and then back up to 75 degrees around 3:00.

75 degrees at 3 o’clock in the afternoon?!?! INDOORS?!?! That is the craziest crazy talk of all the crazy talking I’ve ever heard.

It stresses me out because I feel that the very essence of comfort in my own home has been compromised, and as such I am waging war on the thermostat beast. My project for this weekend is to convince the stubborn thing that our house will be 70 degrees. Period. Unless I decide to override the system while I’m cleaning the house and take ‘er down to a comfy 68.

My friends Elise and Daphne are my total soul sisters on this issue. Elise keeps her thermostat on 68 in the summertime, and when I asked her one time how she afforded the summertime power bills with three boys constantly going in and out of the house, she said, “It’s a matter of priorities. We may not have the fanciest cars or the fanciest house, but we’re always going to do two things in our home: 1) eat and 2) be cool.”

It almost brought tears to my eyes, so beautiful were those words, so close to my heart were her sentiments.

I WILL conquer the thermostat. I WILL find a way to create an uncompromsing level of air conditioned comfort in my house. And when I figure it out, y’all are welcome to visit and experience our comfortably cool indoor environment.

But if you’re one of those women I mentioned at the beginning of this post, you might want to bring a sweater along for the ride.

In the late afternoons when I get ready to start supper, I inevitably have to find some way to keep Alex occupied, mainly for fear that he’ll make his way upstairs and try to flush Rescue Heroes down the toilet or slip out the back door and befriend our neighbors two streets over. So I usually pull a chair up close to wherever I’m chopping or stirring, fix him a sippy cup filled with the delicious beverage of his choice, and let him play with various and sundry kitchen utensils. But not knives. We have a strict no knives policy due to the “cutting” and “stabbing” that can occur.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve given Alex “tasks” while I’m cooking, like dicing onions or slicing potatoes. Oh I’m kidding – did you people not read about our strict “no knives for toddlers” policy? Seriously, I let him push the button on the food processor, or I ask him to get the cheese out of the refrigerator, and this past weekend I even showed him how to crack an egg. He is game for whatever – just as long as I don’t try to keep him out of the kitchen.

Tonight I made beef stroganoff, and since it’s not a recipe that depends on exact measurements, I asked Alex if he wanted to season the flour I would be using to dredge the meat.

“OKAY, MAMA! Want dinosaur?”

“Dinosaur” is Alex’s little apron (featuring, oddly enough, a dinosaur decal on the front) that Publix sent him on his third birthday (join their Kids Club if you haven’t…they send great gifts for kids, all in the name of suck-them-in-while-they’re-young marketing).

So I tied “dinosaur” around his neck and waist, and then I started handing him seasonings: paprika, salt, pepper, garlic powder, Greek seasoning, etc. Based on his reaction, I may be creating a bit of a culinary monster.

He poured and he stirred and he poured some more. I had to take out a little of the garlic powder (he got a little heavy-handed with it), but I must say that by and large his seasoning instincts were outstanding. :-) I also let him season the meat with salt and pepper, but that big bowl of flour held his attention…he wanted to put “more, Mama! More!” into the mix.

Everything actually turned out great taste-wise, and as we ate our supper tonight, Alex told his daddy all about the “pepper-ika” and how he “stirred the bowl” and how “yeah, yessir, I help Mama with supper.”

I just wanted to freeze time at that very second and savor the moment where a three year old would have the world’s sweetest smile on his face because he got to spend a little time standing on a chair, wearing a promotional item from a grocery store, mixing not even 50 cents worth of ingredients together, and loving every single second of it all.

It’s the little things, as y’all know.

Heather tagged everyone in our LBY study group to do a list of 10 simple pleasures in our lives. Making this list is surprisingly easy for me, because remember: WE ARE ALWAYS HOME. So our entire existence is essentially a combination of simple pleasures peppered by my weirdness…a veritable carnival-o-fun for all involved. But with no clowns. There are never, ever clowns at my carnivals-o-fun.

That being said, I give you “10 Simple Things I Enjoy.”

(Alternate title: “‘Cause I’m Chill Like That”)

1. Hearing Alex laugh. When he gets really tickled at something and goes into the belly laugh, my heart explodes just a little bit.

2. Driving in the car by myself, with the music of my choosing playing loudly as I sing along.

3. Taking a long, hot shower after a hard day’s work in the house or in the yard. David’s laughing at the “in the yard” part, because I’ve worked in the yard approximately twice since Alex was born. But I do work in the house a lot.

4. Praying with Alex, especially when he has “add-ons” after we say, “Amen.” It usually goes like this: “Oh, wait! Thank you for blueberries. In Jesus’ Name! Amen! Oh, wait! Thank you for friends. In Jesus’ Name! Amen! Oh, hold on, Mama. Thank you for…”

5. Laughing at the most random line in a TV show or movie, and realizing that David is laughing, too, and knowing that we’re probably the only two people in the world who think that particular thing is funny, and that is why we’re married.

6. COOKING!

7. Reading a book that I can’t put down, and when I have to put it down, all I can think about is picking it up again.

8. Singing in church. I’m SO not a singer, y’all, but I love to make a joyful noise. It’s not always joyful to those around me, however, because as I mentioned, I’m not a very strong singer.

9. Taking naps with Alex in the afternoons.

10. Having a rare night or weekend alone with David. The toddler is awesome and all, but I crave and need those times when it’s just the two of us.

Are you surprised by the almost complete absence of sarcasm?

I am. :-)

Let me know some of your favorite simple things in the comments. And if you have a blog, consider yourself tagged.

Tonight is “American Songbook” night, and after the agonies that were Queen night and country night, please, for the love of pete, SING SOMETHING, people! I have such high hopes for tonight because the songs themselves are so memorable…and I don’t think I have another week of Idol disappointment in me. So fingers crossed, and away we go.

Chris Daughtry – “What A Wonderful World” – Could it be that Mr. Daughtry is actually going to sing AND NOT SCREAM? And with only the accompaniment of an acoustic guitar? It’s EXACTLY the performance that he needed. It was subtle, classic, and he shined. He could record this song as a single tomorrow and have a hit. Awesome. I’ve been tough on him the last couple of weeks, but he had A Definite Moment tonight. Here’s how much I liked it: I didn’t type at all while he was singing. Not a single letter. David just said that we could actually hear the depth to CD’s voice tonight because I don’t know if I mentioned it, but he wasn’t screaming. Loved it.
Paris Bennett – “Foolish Things” – See, I think Paris does best when she keeps it simple. The last month or so she’s been all over the place, trying to show us how “versatile” she is. But tonight, she stood on stage in her simple suit, toned down make-up, with nary a hint of jewelry, and she flat nailed her song. This performance reminded me of why I liked her to begin with – and of what she SHOULD HAVE been doing all along. Good for her.
Taylor Hicks – “You Send Me” – OH MY WORD I adored it. It was so controlled at the beginning – but not boring at all – and the arrangement at the end of the song was PERFECT for Taylor. I had a smile the size of Texas on my face at the end of his performance. Simon said it was “magic” – and I agree with him. I had chillbumps almost the entire way through the song. WHOO, Taylor! Soul Patrol! :-)
Elliott Yamin – “It Had To Be You” – I love this song, for what it’s worth. And Elliott’s voice is ideal for this genre of music. As I’m watching him, I’m thinking that he would have fit right in with the Rat Pack – and he reminds me a lot with Harry Connick, Jr. Once again, the arrangement was great for him, because it gave him a chance to show off a little bit at the end. Simon’s right, though – Elliott doesn’t have as much “likeability” as the other contestants, so a great performance may not be enough.
Kellie Pickler – “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” – There is absolutely no way that Kellie won’t make it through to the next round, because I have contended for several weeks that she could get on stage and sing “Blah blah blah blah blah” and receive more votes than anyone. It was just so obvious, though, that vocally she’s out of her league compared to the other contestants. And somehow she got about two measures ahead the music and forgot her lyrics. I do appreciate that she knew that she “butchered” the song and didn’t make excuses…which is kind of refreshing in this era of “performers” who think they’re all that and a bag of chips.
Ace Cannon, er, Young – “That’s All” – Is the ponytail his way of trying to pull off “suave”? I don’t understand. I do appreciate that he stepped outside his normal “earthy” look, and I will say that this performance was his best in several weeks. BUT, like Kellie, he’s not vocally at the same level as the other contestants. But he didn’t seem to do the whole wide-eyed / deer caught in headlights routine as much, so that’s, um, positive. I guess.
Katharine McPhee – “Someone To Watch Over Me” – This song is one of David’s favorites, so we may have to replay it later and do a little dancin’ in the living room. :-) And young girls of America, TAKE NOTE OF HER MODEST ATTIRE and the fact that she looks STUNNING. She did a beautiful job with the song…in fact, I don’t think anyone could sing it any better. Best performance in a night of great performances.

Here’s the thing. Tonight was far and away the best of the season, because the SONGS were far and away the best of the season. David made the point that when these songs were written, melody was so important because the songs were heard on radio and records – “performance” and “image” didn’t factor into the entertainment equation the way that they do now. The lesson, I think, is that good songs make good singers great – and that was so apparent tonight. Plus, the contestants had more TIME, so they didn’t have to do such cut up versions of their songs. It was an enjoyable night indeed.

Should go: Pickler
Will go: Elliott, I’m afraid – though I wish it would be Ace Cannon.

I’ve mentioned a couple of times that I am slightly – slightly – obsessive compulsive. It’s not that I check our locks 15 consecutive times before I’m able to sleep at night – not that there’s anything wrong with that – but I’m quirky. Control-freaky. I actually prefer the term “eccentric,” but you’ll probably use the term “weird.” And that too would apply.

As it turns out, Lauren just tagged me to do a post where I list six weird things about me. Since I have had absolutely no writing inspiration today, I am going to take her up on her kind offer. Plus, I now have to think of six other people to tag, and that’ll give me something to do tonight besides just watching “24.” So Lauren’s actually done me a huge favor. :-)

And I’ll just go ahead and warn you that six things aren’t nearly enough, so vast is the prairieland of my weirdness.

With that stunning preface, I now give you a list: “BooMama’s 11 Weird Things About Me.”

(Alternate title: “Why I May Frighten You.”)

1. I will only wash towels with towels. I do not believe that towels should be mixed in with clothes or – heaven forbid – sheets. Occasionally, in cases of extreme laundry emergency, I will wash socks with towels, but I don’t like it, and I won’t pretend that I do.

2. I do not like to cross-pollinate brands. So I would never, ever use Tide detergent and then Downy fabric softener and then Bounce fabric sheets. I shudder just thinking about it. In order for all of our laundry products to be in perfect accord, I use Gain detergent, Gain fabric softener, and Bounce – WITH GAIN – fabric sheets. This makes perfect sense to me.

3. I have to drink diet Coke over ice.

4. However, I prefer diet Mountain Dew out of a 20 oz. bottle. Not a can. And certainly not a 2-liter because that would require, you know, ice. Which completely goes against my diet Mountain Dew drinking principles, though it would be completely in accord with my diet Coke drinking principles.

5. When I get in the bed, I must be covered by at least a sheet and a comforter. I cannot sleep with just a sheet. Nor can I sleep with no cover at all. I prefer a sheet and a medium to heavy weight comforter. A bedspread doesn’t count. That’s just a second sheet, in my opinion.

6. When I check email, I must read all new messages at once. I cannot read a message, do something else, and then come back to the rest of the unread messages. That makes no sense to me. And if a message comes in while I’m sitting at the computer, I read it right away. I can’t “ignore” it until I finish what I’m doing.

7. My lips are moisturized at all points in the day except when sleeping. But I hit ’em good before I go to sleep so that they’re not too dry in the morning. And those of you who have known me for a long time know that I am terribly brand-loyal in my lip-moisturizing pursuits.

8. I always have lamps on. Always. But I can’t stand overhead lights. There are SEVEN lamps in my den. They’re evenly spaced so that I can turn on all the lamps and have every possible reading place illuminated.

9. I do not like bar soap, because it seems to me that after you use it once, it’s dirty forever. Therefore, if you visit me, you will have a large array of liquid soap options from which to choose.

10. I’ve mentioned this to Diane, but it bears repeating. All bills in my wallet must be facing forward (and no upside down bills, either), ordered by denomination from greatest to least. And I cannot leave a store until I’ve turned all bills in the proper direction and put my money away. I’ve held up MANY a checkout line trying to get my wallet in order, believe you me. By the same token (pardon the pun), change must immediately go into the change compartment. I believe that I would twitch incessantly if I just tossed the change into my purse, all willy nilly and devil may care-like.

11. I am fundamentally opposed to two products: salad in a bag and pre-grated cheese.

Now I’m sure those of you who went to college with me are thinking, “Oh, you left one off the list! What about you and your magazines?” Because I had this thing in college that no one could touch my magazines or newspapers until I’d read them first. It was so bad that when I’d check out at Walmart and a clerk would casually THUMB THROUGH MY MAGAZINE as she rang up my merchandise, I would take the used magazine and swap it out for a fresh one.

However, for whatever reason, sharing periodicals no longer bothers me. I’ll buy a magazine and VOLUNTARILY let you read it first, in fact.

Because I’m so much more laid-back now, as you can clearly tell.

p.s. I’m tagging Addie, Karin, Janna, Jennifer, Janice, Rachel and Faith. I’ve upped my list to seven because I figure at least one person has already been tagged. And of course all you non-bloggers can put your own lists in the comments. Or just make fun of my list. :-)

Finally, if any of you get my blog via a feed reader, I apologize – I have edited this post about 15 times. My brain’s not cooperating with me tonight.

Is the whole Katie Holmes silent birth / scientology thing bothering anyone besides me?

Heather got me thinking about it…and after doing a little reading today, I can’t help but think that Katie’s parents must be, at the very least, horrified.

Or am I overreacting? It’s not like I’m, you know, friends with Tom and Katie or anything, but since they’ve put this information “out there,” I think it’s fair game for discussion.

By the by, you should probably know that, as a general rule, scientology FREAKS ME OUT.

Anybody else care?