Earlier this afternoon, I realized that Alex had been out of sight – and quiet – for about ten minutes.

So I investigated.

And this is what I found.

Looks like Easter candy and a three year old are fast friends indeed.

“Broken” – Chris Rice

First, if you’re a LBY blogger looking for today’s post, it’s down the page just a little bit.

Second, I have been in the kitchen all morning getting food ready for a breakfast at church tomorrow morning. I made two huge sausage and egg casseroles, two gigantor batches of cheese grits (I’m about to post the recipe over on my recipe “website”), :-) and I need to get back in there in a second to slice all of my fruit. But after putting the SECOND load of dishes in the dishwasher, I had to take a few minutes to sit down and enjoy the fact that the kitchen is clean again, even if I’ll be making a mess again within the hour.

Plus, I had to share this very important news: Alex went next door to play, and David is outside working in the yard. Do you know what that means? I AM INSIDE MY HOUSE BY MYSELF.

Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I AM INSIDE MY HOUSE BY MYSELF. That has happened approximately three times in the last three years.

Since David works out of our house, he is home all the time. It’s a wonderful advantage in terms of taking care of Alex, because we have flexibility that most people don’t. And I really do enjoy that we get to see each other much more than most couples. But as someone who needs her “space” from time to time, I can get a little frustrated if I focus on the fact that I am NEVER ALONE.

It’s shaping up to be a lovely afternoon as a result of the solitude, so I wanted to update you on a few things. I know – another “list” post – which is sort of a cop out, but you can’t really expect for me to come up with a coherent narrative when I AM BY MYSELF…though oddly enough, I still have “Sesame Street” playing on the television. I don’t even notice it anymore.

1. David has been picking up the picture of his mama, putting it in front of his face, and then imitating her voice. Which is kind of creepy. But very funny, especially when he says, “OH, you don’t MEAN. You don’t MEAN!” four or five times in a row.

2. Yesterday morning Alex was being pretty bossy when I was helping him get dressed, and he started saying, “No, Mama! You go OVER THERE!” I said, “Buddy, you cannot talk to me like that. I’m not going anywhere other than where I am.”

And I looked up at David, who was fighting so hard not to laugh, and he said, “Yeah. You tell him, Mama. Because you are. Right where you are.”

Then got a little tickled. So I followed up my previous kernel of wisdom with, “That’s right. Because where I am is exactly where I’m going to be. If you’re looking. Because I’m here.”

It is fun to be such an excellent, insightful, articulate parent. I am obviously terribly gifted at providing pertinent on-the-spot instruction to my child.

3. Please keep Emma Kate in your prayers. She has had some persitent health problems for the last year and a half, and after a visit with her doctor earlier in the week, she learned that he wants to do something a little bit more invasive to try to determine what’s going on with her. Emma Kate has unshakeable faith, and I know that she and her sweet hubby would appreciate your prayers as they seek God’s guidance to help them make the very best decision for EK and their family. Pray for her doctors’ wisdom, her family’s peace, and for total healing, if that would be God’s will.

4. Guess what Oprah talked about yesterday? HEALTH CARE! She actually talked about it indirectly…the focus of the show was how difficult it is to live in America on a minimum wage salary. I felt completely ignorant because I just assumed that at this point in time, minimum wage must be at least $7 or $8 a hour. But it’s STILL $5.15. I had no idea. And a side effect of people working for minimum wage is that they can’t afford health care. Needless to say, I was FIRED UP as I was cooking this morning. There is absolutely no way for people to get ahead when they have rent to pay, food to buy, and a trip to the doctor could set them back as much as $700 THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO BEGIN WITH. AAAAAAAARGH.

However, I won’t post anything about this particular issue right away – I actually want to do a little research to make sure I’m not just being reactive (as opposed to responsive). And I’m sure you’re all breathing a collective sigh of relief as a result.

But I guess this means that Sister better get out her parasol and Bubba better book his flight…because my march on Washington can’t be far behind. :-)

5. if you’re an SEC football fan, this story will grab your attention. Logan Young is a household name in this part of the world because of his (oftentimes scandalous) ties to the University of Alabama football program, so the story of his unexpected death has been all over the news. There’s something strange about the circumstances…I can’t quite put my finger on it…but I have a feeling that Sister will be ON THE CASE after she reads a few news stories.

Hope y’all have a wonderful, restful Saturday…I’ll check in later.

When I looked back over my notes from this week, I realized that the biggest day-o-impact for me was Monday, when I watched the first few segments of the video. Now the rest of the week was great, of course – I had several “ah-ha” moments about what it means to give and receive true agape love – but Beth said something in the video that I keep going back to, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head all week. She said, “we have to understand that things [in life] are not as concrete as things we see in Scripture,” and the infiltrating power of the Holy Spirit helps us “to deal with the gray.” [emphasis mine]

You should know that I am not, in general, a big fan of “the gray.”

Because, you see, one of the ongoing struggles in my life is discernment. For a long time I thought my discernment struggles were because of my personality…I tend to see the good in everyone, tend to like people right away, tend to be very trusting right off the bat. So I figured that because I didn’t expect the worst in a situation (quite the opposite, in fact), discernment wasn’t really even necessary for me because I assumed that, one way or another, things would turn out just fine. In other words, I’m going to go ahead and jump in that icy cold river, because I’m certain that I’ll find a way out. Really! Nothing bad will happen! Everything always turns out fine!

For a long time I confused discernment with my “gut feeling,” not recognizing that a gut feeling is based on emotion, while discernment is based on wisdom that can only come from the Holy Spirit (see? I had no discernment about discernment itself. I was in a bad way). :-) But over the last eight or nine years God has taught me so much about discernment, and He has done almost all of that teaching through “the gray.” That fact never occurred to me until I watched the video this past Monday.

Here’s an example to illustrate my point. I’ll only bore you with one example. Promise. And I’ll try to stop overusing the word “discernment.” It’s starting to look funny when I type it.

About five years ago, D. and I went through what you might call “a rough patch.” I felt like I didn’t understand him, he felt like I was overly emotional about some stuff we were dealing with, and because he was just starting his business, we saw each other for approximately 7 minutes a day. That may be a slight exaggeration on my part. But the combination of no time together plus tension when we were together felt a little overwhelming. And if you’ve ever been at that place in your own marriage, you know that when you start to question the state of your relationship, you inevitably start to question if you’ll be able to really and truly work through your problems or if you’re stuck in one of those hollow marriages like you see in made-for-tv-movies (with titles like, “Close Together, Worlds Apart” or “One House, Two Lives,” starring Valerie Bertinelli or Meredith Baxter-Birney).

So one night, when I got in the bed and David was still in his office working, I started to pray. It was one of the few times when I can remember feeling like I was right on the verge of screaming at God, but I felt lonely and confused and I just POURED IT ALL OUT. Every single concern…every single thing that was bothering me…every single fear that I had. And about 15 minutes into my “therapy session,” I felt something deep down in my heart as one single, sustaining phrase echoed in my mind: “A marriage doesn’t have to be perfect. Just pleasing to Me.”

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had given me clear instruction about how to move forward. Because here’s the thing. Since David and I weren’t living up to my self-imposed standard of perfection (that’s the key to the trouble right there…it was my standard, not God’s standard), I was letting discouragement overtake me, certain that the “failure” to be perfect meant we would never, ever make it. But in that one moment, God cut straight through “the gray” and totally shifted my perspective of what my marriage should – and could – be.

It would tie up all the loose ends real pretty-like if I could say that David and I worked everything out that night and haven’t had a moment’s struggle since. But that’s not real life. The working it out part took a little while…and God was faithful, as He always is. We learned, slowly but surely, that if we focused on pleasing Him in our marriage, the day-to-day strains sort of melted away. It’s an ongoing process, and we’re committed to it. We’ve learned to speak the truth in love, not in anger. Accepting and trusting that one prompting from the Holy Spirit – that my marriage should be pleasing to God but didn’t have to be perfect – changed my life. And it changed my marriage. Only God could do that.

I love this passage from I Corinthians 2:10-13: “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.”

Because of that assurance, we can do more that just get through “the gray.” We can move past it, beyond it, with full confidence that God is the One guiding us every step of the way.

Happy Easter, everybody.

Addie	Heather*	Carol
M	Rach	Jeana
Jenn	Amanda	MamaB
GiBee	Boomama	Maria
Blair	Heather	Nancy
Janna	Flipflop	Robin
Sherry	Patricia	Tara
Lauren	HolyMama!	Faith
Christy	Eph2810	Karin
Leann	Rachel	Janice
This is a list of the women participating in the study and the links to their blogs. New postings on the study will be published for the next ten weeks, between Friday 8pm – Saturday 8am. Please feel free to visit each of us and comment. Everyone is welcome to participate in this discussion as we seek to live beyond ourselves. May God bless you richly from the hearing of His word.

So it’s pretty much a perfect morning for Alex, what with a large “happy” from Sister and Barry waiting on him after breakfast.

He naturally went to the flashcards first because we’re all math-y like that in our house. Ahem.

Then he discovered the card, which could not, COULD NOT be opened without singing the “We just got a letter” song from Blue’s Clues.

Do you think he liked his new bunny ears?

See that watch? It’s on his wrist now – and forever, it seems, so strong is his affection for the Bugs Bunny timepiece.

I took a picture of the basket before Alex opened it to show you all the COLOR-COORDINATED RIBBON, but there was too much of a glare on the plastic wrap. It all looked adorable, of course. I couldn’t help but think that if I were the one sending out the festive Easter greetings, everything would all be crammed down into a box with a hastily written Post-It note on top. Sister, you see, is really good at the details.

Thanks, Easter Bunny Sister! The little man loves it all.

…because I’m inspired.

Kevin Johnson, a former NBA star, put his money where his heart is and created a school district that addresses what he calls “the moral issue” of failing American schools. If parents aren’t committed to helping their kids, then the kids can’t enroll. It’s that simple.

Mike Feinberg and Dave Levin decided they could create a better public school system. Guess what? They have.

To see and read more, go here.

Thank goodness I watched Part II of “America: Schools In Crisis,” because all this stuff doesn’t seem quite as overwhelming and insurmountable.

And Liz, I think reading about these people and their schools will make you feel better, too. :-)