Since I have bombarded y’all with Important Social Issues the last couple of days, I’ll get you up-to-speed on some of the more run-of-the-mill occurrences ’round these parts.

1. I made a huge grocery run this afternoon because I’m cooking for something at church this weekend and I needed to get all my supplies. The supplies included grits, which started to call my name as I was putting away the groceries and as a result became part of our supper tonight. So here’s what I’m wondering: for those of you in other parts of the country, have you ever heard of grits? Have you ever eaten them? And if so, what did you think? I don’t know anyone in this neck of the woods who doesn’t like them…especially with a little salt, a little butter, and a little cheddar cheese. They are SO good. And no, you cannot eat a singular “grit.” One time a friend of my mama’s offered a guest from the North some grits, and he replied, “Um, yes – I believe I would like to try one.” :-)

2. Bucky’s gone! If he and Ace Cannon had both stayed for another week, my AI frustration would’ve reached an all-time high, I think. Next week is standards – so hopefully we’ll finally hear a little old fashioned singing. I don’t think Daughtry can possibly manipulate a big band song into his usual alternative angst. Can he?

3. For those of you who are watching The Amazing Race (Merritt), Lake’s language tonight – directed at his wife, no less – was HORRIBLE. It bothers me that he’s so mean to her and she takes it. On one level it’s totally not my business, but on another level they are quite voluntarily putting their relationship “out there.” And it bothers me, all the hateful talk.

4. I think Alex and I are going to dye Easter eggs Friday morning…this will be a first for us. I bought a kit like Mama used when I was little, but I haven’t dyed eggs in, oh, say, 30 years? I’m a bit out of practice. I’ll be sure to post pictures of the big event.

5. BIG NEWS! Guess who’s going to see Faith and Tim?!? YEP – BooMama and BooDaddy. David did a little wheelin’ and dealin’ with our top secret Nashville connection, ;-) and we got the ticket hook-up. The grandparents have been placed on alert for babysitting duties, and we are going to go on a real date, to a real concert, and I’m going to do my best to not stalk the talent, even though Faith probably should, you know, meet me since we’re BFF and all. Regardless, I am DELIGHTED that the hubby and I will get to have a fun night out.

6. I realize that I’ve been a little wound up over the last 48 hours. You can blame Oprah. And here’s to hoping that she doesn’t tackle health insurance costs next, or I may have to launch a march on Washington. ;-)

I don’t know why Oprah doesn’t like me, but she obviously doesn’t want me to sleep soundly this week. Or have normal blood pressure. Because do you know what she did? She followed up the “girls going wild” show with another well-it’s-clear-I’ll-never-rest-again program: “America: Schools In Crisis.”

Truth be told, we only got about three-quarters of the way through the show before we had to turn it off. It was too depressing. I’ll finish watching it today, but between Monday’s Paris Hilton-wannabes and yesterday’s deplorable conditions at an inner-city high school in Chicago, my mind had had all the “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG?” that it could take.

All three of the kids in my family went to public schools, and I think it’s accurate to say that we each had pros and cons to our school experiences. I probably had the most “pros.” Sister and Stacy were both affected by the growing pains that came with desegregation…but by the time I came along, a lot of those issues had worked themselves out. I was in mostly honors classes with pretty much the same group of students in each class, and in retrospect I realize that we had our own little college prep curriculum within the much larger school-wide curriculum. When I graduated from high school, I was prepared for college. Plain and simple.

But a lot has happened in the last twenty years. What Oprah focused on yesterday was the great and ever-increasing discrepancy between suburban high schools and inner-city high schools. Her producers arranged a student swap, with suburban kids spending the day at Marvin High School in Chicago and Marvin High’s students spending the day at a sprawling multi-million dollar high school in the Chicago suburbs. Both groups were astounded by what they saw. I won’t go into all the details – you can find them here – but what I watched was a wake-up call for me.

Before everybody starts chiming in about public vs. private schools, that’s not what this discussion is about. I know we all have varying perspectives in terms of public schools vs. Christian schools vs. homeschooling. I know we all feel passionately about whatever we’ve chosen for our kids, and I have no doubt that y’all have made decisions that are the very best for your family. So that’s not what this is about…you don’t have to argue or defend your choice.

Because here’s the thing. We, you and I, have had a choice about where we want our kids to go to school. We have options. Most of us live in nice suburban areas with great school systems. David and I have at least five excellent school districts within a 10 mile radius of our house. We’ve chosen for Alex to go to a Christian school when he starts kindergarten, and we are grateful that financially we have that option. But before we all start patting ourselves on the backs that we’ve worked hard and finished college and blah blah blah so that we can make these choices for our children, let me put this thought out into the webosphere: we, as a nation, are failing an entire generation of children.

Specifically, we’re failing poor children, the ones who DON’T have options, the ones who can’t afford to move to suburbia, the ones who have virtually no tax base in their area and therefore no money to hire good teachers. I hope that I’m not going to step on toes as I talk about this. But in case I do, I’ll just go ahead and say the following: “’scuse me…beg your pardon…I’m so sorry…are you okay?”

I know that none of us are capable of single-handedly taking on the educational system and revolutionizing it. I don’t know that any of us would know how to do that. I do know that several of you have been vocal supporters of city school systems (I’m not talking about suburban systems…that’s a different discussion) but eventually became frustrated because you wanted more for your children. And who can blame you for that? Many inner-city schools are a mess…teachers receive tenure because they’re affiliated with unions and the school boards are terrified to fight back, basic repairs aren’t made because there’s no money (you can’t get blood from a turnip, after all) and kids sit in classrooms with ceilings falling in and mold growing up the walls. Kids aren’t encouraged or motivated at home, and honestly, who among us at 15 or 16 would have been self-sufficient enough to get up and get to school without the consistent encouragement of our parents? Or without the discipline that resulted from NOT going to school?

But there are kids, how many I don’t know, who have to attend schools in poverty-stricken areas and who want to do better, who want to succeed, who have the full and unconditional support of their parents…and there’s nothing. there. for. them. educationally. Nothing.

There was a clip yesterday of the inner-city kids walking through a computer lab at the suburban high school, and their mouths were hanging open at the sight of so much technology. One of the sweet young girls looked at the brand-new computers and said, “If this was at our school, the keyboard would be missing, or someone would’ve stolen the ball out of the mouse.” Her comment reminded me that in so many ways, this crisis has nothing to do with a school building and everything to do with the decline of the family. Schools are in crisis in large part because families are in crisis, and until parents decide to deal with those “heart issues” (I know I say that all the time, and I’m sure it’s annoying, but it’s TRUE), I don’t see how anything will change.

I don’t know if y’all saw this report on 20/20 – and granted, I take a lot of what I see on the news with a grain of salt – but it does point out some of the problems with America’s schools, chief among them that very few schools – public or private – can compete internationally. In about 20 years, we’re going to see huge ramifications from this shortfall, because business-wise, industry-wise, we’re just not going to be able to hang with India and China and other nations that have their education ducks in a row.

I wish I had an inspiring conclusion, or some sharp insight, or a magic wand to wave and make everything all better. But I do think we’re seeing a direct effect of what happens when families fall apart, and kids aren’t held accountable, and adults – whether parents or teachers or both – don’t try to hold them accountable because they’re not accountable, either. Like Atticus said after the trial in To Kill A Mockingbird, “Don’t fool yourselves – it’s all adding up and one of these days we’re going to pay the bill for it. I hope it’s not in you children’s time.”

And I promise that tomorrow – maybe even later today – I’ll try to return to our normally light-hearted BooMama content. But y’all – think about what life will be like when, a generation down the road, almost half of our working population HASN’T FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL. We can’t stay in our suburban bubbles indefinitely, you know?

Many of our schools are asleep at the wheel. So the question remains: what will it take to wake them – and us – up? Are we past the point of no return? Because there’s a big concrete wall about 1/2 mile down the educational road, and we’re headed straight toward it.

Since I listed all the song choices earlier today, I won’t repeat myself – I’ll get straight to the performances.

Bucky Covington – Bucky seemed to enjoy himself, but we didn’t enjoy Bucky. David hit fast forward about 45 seconds into it. He sounded off pitch to me, but he did look comfortable. But if that’s the best I can say, that he “looked comfortable,” then PLEASE OH PLEASE let Bucky go home this week.
Ace “Cannon” Young – I’m just going to surrender to my tendency and start calling him Ace Cannon. I didn’t have a good feeling about him singing “We Will Rock You,” but I don’t usually have a good feeling about Ace singing anything, so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t have. Reallllly bad. It sounded like karaoke…no, it sounded like a crazy uncle at a wedding reception who decided to do a number with the band while said uncle’s children hid in the back and counted the seconds until the whole wretched event was over. More or less.
Kellie Dawn Pickler – Please remember that I predicted that this would be a train wreck. It was more like a near-miss, but she came thisclose to being flattened. I think that without her personality, she could’ve never pulled off this performance…and while I didn’t necessarily like her version of the song, I can appreciate that she definitely stepped outside her comfort zone and tried something different.
Chris Daughtry – Please quit screaming at me. Please? I think he sang his song, “Innuendo,” well, but it’s such an arrythmic melody that people in the audience didn’t seem to know when to clap or what to do. There was nothing catchy about this song, so I just didn’t feel it, yo. :-)
Katharine McPhee – I love her. I do. But not so much when she’s screaming at me in words I can’t understand. I would also like to point out that, in keeping with our earlier discussion, Katharine always manages to look cute and modest at the same time. So vote for her.
Elliott Yamin – I have high hopes for this performance. I am discouraged that Elliott mentions that before this week he’d never heard his song, “Somebody To Love.” HOW CAN THAT BE? But can I just say? I loved it. He made me smile. I especially liked the way he put an R & B twist on it at the end with the music dropping out. Great fun. He was the best of the night for us.
Taylor Hicks – I am SO glad that he’s not singing “We Are The Champions.” But y’all – “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” has about 4 notes, and it just doesn’t show what Taylor can do. And the fact that he tried to kick over the microphone stand and MISSED (was that a Merritt moment or what?)…well, it just made me cringe a little bit. But I really liked the end – that was where I heard the parts of his voice that I love the most.
Paris Bennett – I think I just don’t get her, probably because of what I’ve said before: I don’t think she has any idea who she is as a singer. And the whole performance tonight was, as David said, “weird.” (Hey, Simon just said the same thing). Weird song. Weird outfit. Weird hair. I felt like I was watching a video for a parody of the “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” soundtrack. Bizarre.

David just made a good point: maybe the problem is that Queen doesn’t have that many truly good songs – at least not 8 of them – without Freddie Mercury around to pull them off.

Next week had better be big band or Broadway or something that forces these people to SING. I’m just sayin’. I have had enough of blah songs and screaming singers. It’s really a four-person competition (Chris, Elliott, Katharine, Taylor), and I’m pretty ready to get to that point.

Should go: Bucky
Will go: Ace Cannon

USA Today tells me this morning that tonight is Queen night on American Idol.

I am distressed by three pieces of information which I will now share:

1) Taylor Hicks will be singing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” my least favorite Queen song. Why does he keep picking these boring melodies? I think “Somebody to Love” would be so much better for him. I bet McPhee does that one.

2) Ace Young (who I still want to call “Ace Cannon,” for some reason) will be singing “We Will Rock You.” Just picture that in your mind’s eye for a second. You’re just a little bit horrified, aren’t you?

3) Kellie Dawn Pickler will be singing “Bohemian Rhapsody,” my favorite Queen song, and I think we can all see that this particular performance has “TRAIN WRECK” written all over it.

How in the world will Bucky fit into the picture this week? By singing “Another One Bites the Dust”?

I have a feeling that we’re in for another “yo, it was just ‘aight’ for me, dog” week.

Update: I just got a little deeper into the newspaper, and I discovered the other song choices:
Bucky – “Fat Bottomed Girls” – um, okay
Chris – “Innuendo”
Elliott – “Somebody to Love” – EXCELLENT choice for him
McPhee – “Who Wants to Live Forever”
Paris – “The Show Must Go On”

Today’s Oprah was about the epidemic of young girls buying into a culture that objectifies them. It made me sick to my stomach. Really.

I won’t go into the details of the video montage at the beginning of today’s show, but it was disgusting. Stuff from music videos that you couldn’t have seen in an R-rated movie when I was growing up. Girls “dumbing down” around guys and imitating Paris Hilton when they go out with their friends. Girls who recruit other girls for videos that demean and exploit women. Girls who are proud of the fact that they won a thong contest. Girls who define themselves by what’s on the outside, by the amount of attention they get from men, as opposed to the depth of their intelligence or substance of their character.

Before my rant continues, I need to backtrack for just a second.

About six weeks ago I was at church one afternoon, trying to get ready for an event that weekend. A teenage girl stopped by to ask me a question, and while we were talking one of the men who works at our church – a married man, mind you – walked up and joined our conversation. I have not been able to get out of my mind what happened next.

The teenage girl’s voice went up about two octaves, and her posture changed completely. She became coy, flirtatious, and borderline seductive. I was horrified. Fortunately the man from church picked up on it, cut the conversation short, and got the heck out of dodge. Then the teenager resumed her conversation with me – in her normal tone of voice – like nothing had ever happened. I was so busy trying to process what I’d just witnessed that I didn’t say anything, and I regret that now. I think there was an opportunity for me to “speak the truth in love” to that young girl because I do have a relationship with her, but I didn’t. Shame on me for that.

Girls are following the culture’s lead, and I fear the results will be disastrous. Well, the results already are disastrous. When sixteen and seventeen year old girls are having their chests “augmented”…when parents allow their daughters to go out in public in little more than their underwear…when fourteen year olds are taking their parents’ credit cards into Victoria’s Secret and buying push-up bras and thongs…when college-aged girls keep a running tally of their “hook-ups” and post their scorecards on the internet…then America, we have a problem.

I don’t know how to solve it. But I do know this.

When I was growing up, I had an older sister who didn’t hesitate to set me straight if I crossed the modesty line. I remember when I first started wearing make-up around 12 or 13 and went a little heavy on the eyeliner…Sister and Barry BOTH called me out on that one, and I never did it again. Mama always bought me beautiful clothes, but there was nothing provocative about them…Mama didn’t even like for me to wear sleeveless stuff. And I don’t know what Mama and Sister said or did to get this through my brain – and especially into my heart – but I really believed that I was supposed to be treasured by a man, not just tolerated, and certainly not objectified.

Maybe all of this stuff is a shock to me because I had wonderful, sweet friends in high school and college, and most of them stop by this blog every couple of days. The older I get, the more I realize how unusual we were and are in that we truly support each other. We don’t always agree, of course, but woe be unto anyone who does harm to the others. I shudder to think what my life would have been like without them…they have held me accountable for my actions, encouraged me when I struggled, and been more loyal than I can ever make you understand. And more and more I realize that we are not the norm.

I hear so many stories of girls and women turning their backs on each other, dropping each other like a hot potato if a man enters the picture, saying horribly mean things behind their friends’ backs, falling out with each other over something petty and inconsequential. As long as women make a habit of treating each other like that, there’s not much hope for the girls who come behind us.

Part of me, as I watched today’s Oprah, wanted to haul some of those 16 year old party girls into a woodshed and make them stay there until they learned their lesson. But this is not a behavioral problem. This problem can’t be solved by locking a girl in her room, or taking away her car, or cutting off her cell phone.

It is a heart issue, plain and simple. Girls are trying to answer questions about themselves in a culture that has none of the right answers.

Someone told me one time that we’re born with a God-sized hole in our heart, and only He can fill it. It seems to me that when people try to fill that hole with our culture, with the “things of the world,” they can pour and pour and pour and pour – but they will never fill it up. Garbage in, garbage out, with girls going wild all the while.

What do we do?

Amended at 11:08 pm to add: I just got into bed and was telling D. about how FIRED UP I am by this whole issue, and he said something I thought I’d pass along:

When we were younger (back in da day), we were always threatened with the consequence of something going on our “permanent record.” But these kids are creating their own. Can you imagine the repercussions down the road of what they’re posting on their My Space accounts? Of what they’re saying about other people on the internet? Of the pictures they’re sharing online? I can’t imagine that a graduate program / future employer / future spouse would look too favorably on those past behaviors.

D. contends that consumerism is a powerful force behind a lot of these girls having no idea who they really are. The mentality seems to be that what girls have defines them, not who they are – so they need those shoes and that bag and it has to be that brand – which is just more garbage in, more trying to fill up your life with flash and not substance. People chase the next magic something that will “change their lives” – the latest jeans, the latest jewelry, the latest make-up, etc…and then they’re surprised when nothing is different, when they don’t feel better.