This past weekend I learned that if State loses a close SEC football match-up on a Thursday night, my mental and emotional recovery time the following Friday is going to be anywhere from six to eighteen hours. Because NO KIDDING. That game nearly wiped me out. I didn’t know whether to pretend-kick the walls or crawl under the covers when it was all said and done. I would have been terribly discouraged if I hadn’t been completely keyed up. Which pretty much meant that I NEEDED TO TALK VERY EXCITEDLY FOR SEVERAL HOURS ABOUT HOW COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED I WAS.

In other words: the crazy was on full display.

By late Friday afternoon my blood pressure was finally back to normal, so I decided that after supper I was going to run to the Steinmarts because I had a coupon that was burning a hole in my pocket and I wanted to look for a pair of fall shoes to replace Ye Olde Faithful Reef Flip Flops that have basically been attached to my feet since April. I love them deeply and am considering placing them in a shadow box when I am forced to retire them from summer shoe duty. Or maybe I’ll just tie one of them to a rope and wear it as a pendant. It’ll be my accessory statement piece for fall.

So I went to Steinmarts and looked at shoes and I was, well, unmoved. I felt like everything had stiletto-type heels that weren’t necessarily practical for daily wear, or if the heel was do-able then the style looked like something my Mamaw Davis would have worn back in 1963 (that is to say: very sensible). Flats just aren’t an option because they hurt my feet and interfere with my lifetime goal of pretending that I am tall, so that pretty much leaves me with boots. And between the fact that my calves are enormous and my arches are freakishly high, I’m a tough boot customer.

So all that to say: it was a Steinmarts shoe strikeout. I did find some cute clothes, but I won’t go into that right now because it’ll end up being some epic Martha-esque digression (“It wasn’t really a white-y cream! It was more of a cream-y cream! But with a hint of yellow! Only not an orange-y yellow or a gold-y yellow, OH HEAVENS NO, it was more of a taupe-y yellow!”).

But wait – that reminds me of something that happened earlier this year, so we’re actually going to have a Martha-esque digression after all. Because I just remembered that the last time Martha and I went to Steinmarts together, she talked from the car to the front doors about how she didn’t need one thing! Not one thing! Just couldn’t think of one thing that she could possibly need! But she’d be glad to hang out for a few minutes while I looked around!

And y’all, we had no more crossed over into the carpeted area of the petites section when Martha turned and looked at me and said, “Now do you know one thing I’d really like to find? Something I’d really like to find? A scarf with a little blue and hot pink and maybe just a little bit of brown in it. I think I would really like that! And listen – if you happen to be over by the earrings while I’m looking here, I would love a pair of small gold hoops – CLIP-ONS! – because I can’t seem to find them anywhere! And do you know what else? I’d love a blouse that that I could wear to church, sort of a scoop neck, but not a low scoop neck, OH HEAVENS NO, but maybe a high scoop neck with just a little bit of embellishment around the neckline! Don’t you think that would be perfectly darlin’? And one more thing – WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THIS JACKET? I would love to have this jacket! But wait – wait – oh, goodness – OF COURSE they don’t have my size. They don’t have my size! And this is a shade of green that I just don’t have in my closet. Isn’t it the prettiest apple green? I don’t have it! But of course they don’t have it in my size because look! LOOK! This size 4 petite just swallows me.”

And then I collapsed into a heap on the floor and crawled over to a stack of extra large shirts and wrapped them around me and cried.

And thus concludes today’s Martha-esque digression. Up next: Martha’s thoughts on cupcakes!

Anyway, this past Saturday morning, after the aforementioned Steinmarts shoe strike-out, I decided to look for some shoes online, and after three to five minutes of in-depth searching I sent Melanie an email that said, “I really don’t think they make cute shoes anymore. And I can’t do boots because I DON’T KNOW IF I’VE MENTIONED THIS, BUT MY CALVES! AND MY ARCHES!” She immediately wrote me back and said, “Have you considered a bootie instead of a full boot?”

And the first thing that popped in my mind was, “Yes, In 1988. With my long khaki prairie skirt and my flannel shirt with built-in shoulder pads.”

And then: “I’M GOING TO NEED SOME HELP.”

Apparently the bootie is all the rage this fall, and within 10 minutes Mel sent me a whole bunch of links of potential bootie candidates. Which was actually a much more wholesome endeavor than that last sentence might lead you to believe.

The links helped me so much, and I ended up finding two pairs of booties at Rack Room Saturday afternoon. They’re actually perfect for my calves ish-ahs since they don’t get up in my calves-related bidness, and they’re also a good match for the freakishly high arches. Even though I would be totally fine with wearing my flip-flops well into December, I think the booties will be a little bit more seasonally appropriate. And also warm.

So there you have it. Upwards of a thousand words about booties.

It has been my sweet privilege to serve you with all the incessant rambling about all the nothing.

And I haven’t even told you about my Mentholatum-related drama yet.

I do hope you can stand the suspense.

So this past weekend our friends Todd and Marti came for a visit. They brought their 9 month-old daughter Gracie with them, and we were really excited about that because one of my favorite pasttimes is gnawing on baby’s cheeks while sniffing their little necks for any remaining hint of baby wash and/or baby lotion.

Unfortunately, despite my attempts to convince Gracie to stay at our house and live with us forever, they all headed home to California this morning. That is very unfortunate indeed because Alex doesn’t really appreciate it when I try to gnaw on his cheeks. And I don’t really try to sniff his neck anymore because most of the time it smells like a combination of old leaves and Skittles.

The weekend was so relaxing and made even better by the fact that my beloved Bulldogs won their game against Memphis. I told a friend of mine this morning that I haven’t seen the ‘Dogs complete that many passes in my lifetime, and even now, three days later, I think about how consistently our receivers caught the ball and I have to shake my head a little bit. Was it all a dream? A mirage? I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t, mainly because I’ve re-watched the game approximately two and one half times over the last couple of days and do you know what happens every single time? WE STILL WIN.

I made sliders for the game Saturday night, along with homemade salsa, pasta salad and a big ole thing of Rotel dip. I was going to make corn dip – had all the ingredients, even – but we were so full from our lunch at Chuy’s (are you noticing a pattern in our weekend dining?) that we didn’t eat supper until later than normal and I was afraid that the addition of one more dip would push us right over the edge into full-on misery. But the sliders were delicious. They may be my go-to gameday menu item this year. I can’t say just yet. It’s quite a commitment, after all.

And speaking of commitment.

Sunday afternoon the menfolk went to the bookstore for a little while, and since Marti decided to rest during Gracie’s nap, I made it my personal mission to spend as much time as I possibly could reading the MSU message boards. This endeavor is never for the faint of heart, especially given that State fans are almost always wary of sporting event prosperity and seem to err on the side of EXTREME CAUTION in terms of demonstrating any real optimism for the upcoming season. We’ve just been burned by unbridled enthusiasm way too many times.

This fool-me-once mentality is all over the message boards and is precisely the reason why several posters – after a game where most of us were overjoyed by the fact that the Bulldogs scored almost 50 points and accumulated over 500 yards of total offense – expressed little-to-no happiness at the outcome of the game and preferred to focus on WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON WITH KICK-OFF COVERAGE? DO WE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO RUN TO THE BALL? GAH.

Anyway, I was knee-deep in a vat of some healthy sporting cynicism when the guys got home, and as I walked in the kitchen to get the full report about their bookstore adventures, here is what I saw:

They wanted to figure out which flavor of Zaxby’s shake is the best. So they bought one of each.

Is that not impressive? It was like a wine tasting, only without the wine or anything even remotely resembling a discriminating palate.

We already knew that we liked the chocolate, but the vanilla was a revelation. And the strawberry was as tasty as could be. There was some dissension in the ranks about which kind we’d buy on a return trip, but after some reflection and no small degree of prayer, I’m pretty sure that I’d go with the vanilla. And by the way, the fourth flavor was birthday cake, but I did not sample it on principle because I do not want chunks of birthday cake in my milkshake. Or sprinkles, for that matter.

So what about y’all? Did your team win this past weekend? Did you enjoy any delicious new dips or tailgating foods?

I’ll be waiting in the comments with pretend milkshakes for everybody.

You’re going to be so excited when you pretend taste their pretend deliciousness.

Two items of note: The Laughing Cow $150 gift card giveaway is still up and running, and I just posted a new $100 Kellogg’s giveaway. Don’t miss the fabulous prizes!

Question: How much do I already love this weekend?

Answer: A WHOLE LOT.

Some friends of ours are coming to town, and in addition to a menu line-up that would make a dietician weep, there’s a whole bunch of college football on our horizon. There’s also a forecast that features highs in the mid-80s, lows in the 60s and sunny skies all the live-long day.

(By the way, do you know what we’ve enjoyed all week long in Birmingham?)

(A BREEZE.)

(Hallelujah.)

Anyway, here are a few things I’ve been meaning to share:

– This past week I mentioned Deeper Still – Birmingham to two different friends, and neither of them had the faintest idea what I was talking about. But when I explained what it was, they were understandably delighted. So I thought that there might be some other folks in this neck of the woods who might also be delighted to know what’s headed our way in December.

Deeper Still is a two-day women’s event with Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer. Travis Cottrell leads worship. And there’s going to be a Deeper Still here in Birmingham on December 3rd and 4th at the BJCC. I for one cannot wait. If you’re interested in attending, here’s all the info.

And if you’ve never been to a women’s event like DS because you think it would be too overwhelming or you haven’t been to church in eight years or you have a lot of questions about your faith or whatever, BE YE NOT CONCERNED. I think you’ll feel right at home.

– There’s a new group of Compassion bloggers heading to Guatemala next week. I can’t speak for them, of course, but I’m pretty sure that they’d treasure your prayers.

– If you’re a Mississippi State fan, remember: Respect The Bell and Ring Responsibly. :-)

– I’m going to be cooking up a storm tonight, and while I’m cooking, I’ll be watching this webcam. OBSESSIVE MUCH?

All righty. That is all. Except that I’m trying a new corn dip recipe this weekend. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes.

HAPPY FOOTBALL, EVERYBODY!