Sweet Provision

20 September 2010 by

Last Thursday afternoon I stopped by the Walgreens to see if they had any Mentholatum. A few of y’all had commented and emailed to tell me that sometimes Walgreens keeps the Mentholatum behind the counter (I have no idea why? maybe because of its supernatural mentholated goodness?), so I couldn’t WAIT to get to the drugstore and ask the pharmacist.

I ended up having to stand in line behind a sweet older couple who were apparently moving every single prescription they have ever been prescribed to the Walgreens pharmacy. About the time that they were digging out their IDs and preparing to sign a blood oath that they were who they professed to be, one of the Walgreens employees asked if she could help me. Maybe she could sense my determination since I’d been standing in that line for upwards of ten minutes. Or maybe she could sense my frustration because I WAS READY TO KNOW ABOUT THE MENTHOLATUM, ALREADY.

I’m sort of guessing it was the latter.

Anyway, I told her what I was looking for and she said, “Um, I don’t know what that is. But I do know that we have Vicks right over there!”

“No. Not Vicks,” I replied. “MENTHOLATUM. It has menthol like Vicks, but it’s a completely different product.”

“Well,” she said, “I know that there are several different kinds of Vicks. Let’s take a look! Maybe you’ll see something that will work down on this shelf!”

Apparently I wasn’t doing a very good job communicating the degree of my Mentholatum need. So I took a deep breath and dove right back into the mentholated confusion.

“No ma’am – it’s not a Vicks product. It’s made by The Mentholatum Company. It looks like this,” I answered – and then I dug around for my (rapidly dwindling) Mentholatum in my purse and pulled it out so that she could see it. Because crazy people like myself ENJOY A VISUAL AID.

The Walgreens lady took a quick look at the shelves and said, “Nope. We don’t carry anything like that – sorry!” and started walking back to her station at the pharmacy counter. I closed my purse and was about to head for the exit when I heard a voice behind me saying, “Honey? I KNOW. IT’S AWFUL. I CAN’T FIND IT ANYWHERE.”

I turned around and found myself face-to-face with the woman who’d been moving her prescriptions earlier. She told me that she too had been looking for Mentholatum everywhere, and as I nodded in agreement with every single word she said, she leaned in a little closer, looked around to make sure no one else could hear her, and whispered, “You know, you can’t even find it at the Walmarts anymore.”

“I KNOW!” I exclaimed.

I think my enthusiasm may have been a little more than she bargained for. But then she said one more thing:

“Honey? Have you looked at the Rite Aid?”

And do y’all know what I realized?

I HADN’T LOOKED AT THE RITE AID.

I’d looked on their website with no success. And I’d looked at Walmart, Walgreens, Publix and CVS. BUT I’D FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THE RITE AID!

I told the sweet lady in Walgreens that I would definitely look at Rite Aid, and when I cranked my car in the Walgreens parking lot, there was just a glimmer of mentholated hope in my heart. A vapor, if you will.

Friday was cuckoo busy between family stuff and work stuff and football game stuff, but Saturday morning I was rested and rarin’ to go to the Rite Aid. Our little family was planning to go to lunch, so I asked D if we could PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE stop by the Rite Aid on the way to Chuy’s (we are creatures of habit and also, I might add, slightly addicted to the deluxe tomatillo sauce).

So we pulled in the Rite Aid parking lot, and I was out of the car like a shot. Couldn’t get in the drugstore fast enough. And I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a Rite Aid, but they arrange the aisles at all sorts of angles so that once you get inside the store, you feel a little bit like you’re trapped in a maze. My guess is that they’re just hoping that at some point you’ll give up trying to escape and start filling your cart to pass the time while you try to figure your way out of there.

Anyway, I finally made my way to the cold care aisle, and WOULD YOU LOOK WHAT I FOUND, WOULD YOU JUST LOOK, IT’S AN ALMOST-BUT-NOT-REALLY-AT-ALL MIRACLE!

Oh, you’d better believe that I shook those boxes like maracas all the way to the cash register.

And I promise that I’ll never ever mention Mentholatum again.

Unless Rite Aid quits carrying it.

Because clearly in that case all bets are off.

Edited to add a little clarity: Mentholatum is what God makes to cure a world of hurts: chapped lips, dry skin, stuffy noses, bad coughs. I’m particularly fond of it as a lip balm, but I’ve also been known to rub it on the bottoms of my feet before I put on socks. :-)

Filed Under: Rambling

Me Likey

19 September 2010 by

I have no idea what this is, but it fascinates me (thanks, Ruth!).

Thank you and good night.

Filed Under: Rambling, The Interweb

Booties, Booties, Booties

16 September 2010 by

Okay. This isn’t really a post about booties.

But the title made me laugh, so I went with it.

Deep wells of maturity.

Several of y’all have asked if I’ll share the booties info that Melanie sent me. And yes, I’ll be happy to share, but I need to get all the links copied and pasted first. In the meantime, just know that I’m tickled to be able to encourage you (thanks to Mel) in your booties-related journeys. It warms my heart to know that my shoe struggle wasn’t just for me, my friends. It was for all of us. For the sake of our soles.

(I couldn’t resist the pun.)

(You’ll have to forgive me.)

(It was like a gift. Just sitting there for the taking.)

Anyway, I have some updates. And announcements. And stuff. And whathaveyou.

– There’s a new Laughing Cow $150 gift card giveaway that I just posted today. Feel free to hop on over and enter to win!

– This post of Angie’s is a must-read. Absolutely beautiful.

– Shaun will be answering a bunch of questions about the Compassion Bloggers program over the next couple of days – including information about how bloggers are selected for trips, how effective the trips ultimately are, and all sorts of other fun stuff.

– You know how everybody was doing the choreographed dances at wedding receptions a few years ago?

Well, this video – from the wedding of Tony award-winning writer Lin-Manuel Miranda and his beautiful new bride, Vanessa – is a brilliant new twist on the reception surprise.

It makes me SO HAPPY.

They’re gonna have a blast at family get-togethers, aren’t they? (via Throwing Things)

Happy Friday, y’all!

And Go ‘Dogs!

Filed Under: Rambling

The Laughing Cow – Post 3

16 September 2010 by

This is sponsored content from BlogHer and The Laughing Cow.

When I went off to college I felt pretty good about my weight. Granted, I wasn’t thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I was healthy. I liked how I looked in my clothes.

But – and you know the drill – it didn’t take long for me to start packing on the pounds. And while I’d love to tell you a kicky little story about how I went home for summer vacation bound and determined to kick the freshman 15 in the teeth, the fact of the matter is that I was waaaaay past “15” at that point. I’d passed “15” sometime around Thanksgiving. Something about eating cheeseburgers and fries really late at night and developing the misguided mentality that a two-piece fried chicken dinner (with red beans and rice, French fries and a biscuit) constituted a perfectly healthy lunch.

Needless to say, I was big friends with elastic the summer after my freshman year.

I lost a little bit of weight that summer thanks to a whole lot of exercise, but since I was working in Atlanta and eating out a ton, the weight didn’t fall off like I’d hoped it would. So flash forward to the end of my sophomore year, when I was still carrying around some of that excess freshman baggage plus a few pizza-related pounds from my sophomore year. I wanted a diet that would give me results. And fast.

This was right around the time when liquid diets became wildly popular. Lots of people bought different flavored shakes in the grocery store, and other folks favored a liquid diet that was supervised by a doctor. I decided to go the doctor-supervised route since I was such a bastion of maturity and responsibility. After all, I had once tried to lose upwards of 15 pounds over the course of 4 days by eating nothing but popcorn for my meals.

Be sure to let me know if you’d like any other diet or fitness tips!

In retrospect I’m not entirely sure why I thought a liquid diet would work for me; after all, I’ve been known to crave the texture of certain foods so much that I’ll plan a whole meal around them (I’M TALKING TO YOU, GUACAMOLE). But since the liquid diet promised big results, I figured I could endure it long enough to drop those pesky extra pounds. And I figured that if I was really desperate to chew something, I could go to town on some sugarless gum.

Extra Wintergreen and I became very close that summer. Inseparable, really.

The first week of the liquid diet was fine. It actually felt a little bit like detox, which wasn’t a bad thing given all the junk I’d eaten during finals. I don’t necessarily know if our bodies are meant to consume a two-liter of Mountain Dew and a bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips in one marathon-study sitting, so I kind of enjoyed the break from sugar and your various and sundry simple carbohydrates. And after about seven days, I felt GOOD. Sassy, even.

The second week was a little more difficult. I wasn’t just hungry. I was HAWNGRY. And even though there were a few “foods” I could eat – chicken or beef broth, for example – they didn’t really have the crunch or texture or, you know, flavor that I was looking for. But I was a good little dieter, and I felt so encouraged by the nurse and the doctor who were supervising me that I was resolved to keep on keepin’ on. With my Extra Wintergreen by my side AT ALL TIMES, DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ASKING ME FOR A PIECE.

At some point during the fourth week I made a trip to a big discount store with my mother. By that point I’d lost about 12 pounds, I think, so the good news was that my clothes were fitting better than they had in awhile. The bad news was that I was weak as a kitten. Mama and I hadn’t been in the discount store more than five minutes when I had to find a patio set on display so that I could sit down for a bit, and Mama knew me well enough to know that I just wasn’t feeling well.

I’ll never forget how she leaned over me with a look of concern on her face and said, “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything that would make you feel better?”

And y’all, I will never forget my response. My 19 year-old self looked up at my mama and said one very important word with determination and clarity: “Meat. MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.”

I kid you not: we left that store, drove home, and Mama cooked me two petite sirloin steaks right then and there. Cooked them in the cast iron skillet. And if you’re wondering how I remember that, it’s because OH MY LANDS IT IS A PRECIOUS MEMORY.

I learned a great lesson that day: any weight loss plan has to have balance at its core. I continued with the liquid diet for the rest of the summer, but I also ate small meals with real food. It took me a few weeks, but I finally figured out that man should not live by liquid alone.

Or, for that matter, popcorn.

If you’d like to win a $150 Visa gift card, leave a comment on this post that answers the following question:

Share a funny diet or exercise story, video clip, picture, etc. in the comment section and you will be entered to win $150. Please keep your comments G-rated as any profanity or offensive content will automatically disqualify you from sweepstakes entry. You should also visit The Daily Laugh hub to read funny content each day and for weekly chances to win $100 at the “Play For Laughs” game. If you share something really funny, we may even use it in The Daily Laugh!

And don’t miss the other bloggers’ posts – you have 11 other chances to win each month!

Questions about the sweepstakes? Check out the official rules.

Happy Laughing, everybody!

This giveaway is now closed.

Filed Under: BlogHer Reviews

Pretend Troubles. I’ve Got ‘Em.

15 September 2010 by

Last night I was watching The Rachel Zoe Project because on days when I feel somewhat overwhelmed by various and sundry stresses in my life, I find some small degree of comfort in watching Rachel talk about how, if she ever has a baby, it would be SO MAJOR if she could wear her black vintage Chanel cape in the hospital.

Why, yes. It certainly would be major. And also quite practical.

If you’ve watched the show, you know that Rachel is almost always worked into a mental and/or emotional frenzy over life’s most pressing issues. Like, for instance, whether Cameron Diaz will get to have “a white evening gown moment” on the red carpet at the Academy Awards. Or whether Demi Moore’s Oscar dress has feathers on it.

Because FEATHERS? ARE LITERALLY A NIGHTMARE.

(Rachel enjoys some inexact usage of “literally.”)

(And she LITERALLY DIES approximately 16 times per episode.)

The whole thing is bananas.

It cracks me up when I see Rachel’s obsession about completely trivial things ratchet so far off the charts that the chart becomes completely irrelevant, but part of the reason why Rachel fascinates me so is because I recognize just a teensy bit of myself in her.

I mean, first of all there’s the obvious similarity in that we both wear a size zero.

And second of all y’all know how much I love me a good beret.

But in all seriousness, I definitely have that same tendency to get worked up over what essentially amounts to nothing. You know this, of course, because you’ve read my blog. And you’ve witnessed firsthand the number of times that I’ve shared some overly dramatic thoughts about bacon.

Not to mention that Mississippi State football and basketball oftentimes LITERALLY KILL ME DEAD.

Well.

One day last week I ran into the Walgreens because I needed to pick up a couple of packs of Wintergreen Icebreakers (I DIE FOR THEM), and while I was there I thought about my dwindling supply of Mentholatum, a product that I have used religiously for chapped lips and other ailments since childhood. And just to be clear, you should know that if I could only use one health and beauty aid for the rest of my life, it would be Mentholatum HANDS-DOWN FOR THE WIN.

I actually looked for Mentholatum in Walgreens a few months ago and decided they were out of stock when I didn’t see it on the shelf. I didn’t think too much of it and just picked up some the next time I was in the Walmarts. Walmart can always be counted on to keep Mentholatum in stock for the whopping price of $2.12 a jar, NOT THAT I’VE MEMORIZED THE PRICE OR ANYTHING.

But on this last trip to Walgreens, they still didn’t have Mentholatum. Didn’t even have a place for it on the shelves. I was discouraged, but I knew that Walmart would once again come to my rescue. After all, they have been my primary supplier of Mentholatum-related goodness for upwards of 20 years.

TWENTY YEARS.

So Sunday night after church I ran in the Walmarts to pick up some sliced turkey (want more meaningless details? FINE. I also bought sliced roast beef, whole wheat sandwich rounds, bacon, roasted almonds, and some Cajun-style pistachio nuts that have proven to be DELICIOUS), and before I walked up to the check out I decided to swing by the pharmacy and pick up some Mentholatum. Because, you know, THEY ALWAYS HAVE IT.

But they didn’t have it. And even though there was no space for it on the shelves, I held out hope that they just needed to do a little re-stocking at the Walmarts and it would be back on the shelves sometime Monday.

ETERNAL OPTIMIST, I AM.

I didn’t make it to Walmart on Monday, but yesterday afternoon it was Destination Numero Uno on our list-o-errands. And do you know what? They still didn’t have Mentholatum. BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY NO LONGER CARRY IT.

It was all I could do not to fling myself to the floor right there in the middle of the Cold Care & Analgesics aisle. But I retained my composure, thought maybe someone was mistaken, then double-checked the lip care section just to make sure the Mentholatum hadn’t wandered over there. You never know, after all. Maybe the Vicks Vapor Rub said something unkind and the Mentholatum decided to move closer to the Carmex.

IT COULD HAPPEN.

But the Mentholatum was nowhere to be found.

I have since conducted an exhaustive search of nearby stores as well as the interweb and determined that from here on out I am going to have to 1) order Mentholatum from drugstore.com (out of stock, just FYI) 2) order Mentholatum from Amazon (it just seems wrong) or 3) order Mentholatum directly from The Mentholatum Company. I’ll keep you posted on what I decide since I’m sure you’ll lie awake at night until you’re aware of how I plan to handle this UNPRECEDENTED CRISIS in my life.

And in the meantime, if you happen to stop by a meeting of The Over-Dramatizers Club, look for Rachel and me. We’ll be wearing faux fur shrugs and sassy berets while we guzzle our venti Starbucks.

And we’ll be DYING.

LITERALLY.
________________________________________________

There’s a new Kellogg’s $100 gift card giveaway over on my giveaways page – click on over if you’d like to enter to win!

Filed Under: Out Of Control, Rambling

Kellogg’s Love Your Cereal – Post 6

14 September 2010 by

This is sponsored content by BlogHer and Kellogg’s.

It always starts around mid-July. Always. And it seems like there’s nothing I can do to shake it.

Nothing.

Now contrary to what you might think, I’m actually not talking about Alabama’s stifling summer humidity, though that definitely kicks in full-force in July and makes me long to live atop an ice block on a planet called Cold.

But the real reason for my summertime apprehension is that mid-July brings on the first feelings of dread about our back-to-school schedule. Granted, in mid-July the prospect of having to wake up early is more than a month away, but please understand that one of my most favorite pastimes is to obsess about things over which I have no control. It’s sort of like a hobby, only without any of the fun or tangible rewards.

Despite my fretting, I’m usually pleasantly surprised by how easily we transition back into our school schedule. We try to gradually work our way back to a school night bedtime over the course of a week or so, and by the time school starts, we’re typically in a pretty good place.

I wish I’d known to dial back the bedtime gradually when I was in high school, because back then my idea of transitioning into a school schedule was to go to bed five hours earlier than normal the night before school started and then toss and turn while I wondered, WHY, WHY CAN’T I SLEEP, WHY, I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

In addition to our sleep adjustments, we do something else to make the back-to-school transition fun: SPECIAL TRADITIONS. That means that the back-to-school breakfast is absolutely and totally our little boy’s choice – whether that be grits or bacon or a favorite cereal or a peanut butter sandwich. It also means that when the first day of school is over, we’re going to meet some of our favorite friends and do something fun to celebrate.

This year it was a trip to a local yogurt place. And the kids had a blast.

In fact, by the time we got home that day, I was ready to wake up early all over again. As much as I dread being tied to a schedule during the summer, the predictability of our days becomes sort of oddly comforting once it’s school time again.

So what about you? What’s something fun you do to help your little one(s) get back in the swing of a school schedule? Leave a comment with your answer, and you’ll be entered to win a $100 Visa gift card (and come back next week to enter again – because these giveaways will continue for the next 6 weeks).

And be sure to visit the BlogHer.com Kellogg exclusive offers page – you have 24 other chances to win $100 every single week that this program is running!

Mom’s Breakfast Club was started to help educate moms and families about kids’ cereal and share the scoop on their nutritional benefits and ingredients. To learn more about the program, visit www.loveyourcereal.com.

This giveaway is now closed.

Filed Under: BlogHer Reviews
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