Because Nothing Says “Happy Birthday” Quite Like An Ear Infection

16 March 2007 by

Last night Alex woke up crying around 11:30, and since I am such an unselfish soul I immediately asked my husband to please just go fetch the child and put him in the bed with us because Mama needs her sleep, okay?

But as it turned out the little man was actually a pretty sick little fella, and around 1 AM when he looked at me and said, “I feel so bad, Mama” with nary a hint of a capital letter or exclamation point, I knew that we were in for a mighty long night indeed, bless his sweet little heart.

So instead of heading to Mother’s Day Out today, the little man had to go to the doctor (not by himself or anything – granted, he is a big boy what with recently turning four and all, but D. and I have discussed it and we feel it’s probably wise to wait until he’s at least six before we hand him the keys to the car). He has a red-hot infection in his left year and a smaller one in his right, and so, for only the fourth time in his little life, he has to take antibiotics so he can get all better soon.

And yes, I absolutely paid that extra $2.99 at the pharmacy for them to add the bubble gum flavoring to his amoxicillin, because if you’ve ever tried to give a young’un the straight chalky white stuff, you know what deep and abiding peace it brings into your life, the kind of peace that makes you want to ram a moving vehicle straight into a brick wall.

So as a result of Alex being unexpectedly under-the-weather, we’re going to have a laid-back last night-o-fun with my sister-in-law and nephews. Alex is (finally) resting pretty comfortably, so Janie and I are about to head down the street and pick up some delicious sushi, maybe swing by Target and check out the adorable wedges that my good friend Big Mama spotlighted on her blog today (and while you’re there, please feel free to read the whole post and laugh your head off).

Now that I think about it, though, we should probably check out the shoes before we pick up the sushi since nothing really says “we’re so glad you came for a visit” like feeding your extended family members raw fish after it’s been sitting in a warm car in the Target parking lot. Though it would definitely be a gift-o-hospitality that keeps on giving.

Once we collect our sushi and sandals and come back here, I imagine we’ll have night number three of what has turned into a regular Wii-tacular. GOOD GRIEF the Wii is a fun product, and if not for the Wii we’d have never realized that Janie has a talent for bowling that has heretofore been undiscovered. In fact, D. and I have determined that given the manner with which Janie decimated her bowling opponents last night (specifically: her children), we will be purchasing her a satin jacket, a bowling bag, and sending her out to tour with the Ladies’ Professional Bowling League. Which I assume exisits.

And if not, it totally should.

Filed Under: Family Fun

In Which I’m Left Wondering How I’m Going To Roll Myself Into The Bed

15 March 2007 by

Here in the South (that’s the southern part of the U.S. for the uninitiated), we have an annoying habit of planning our next meal while we’re eating the current one.

For example, a standard Southern conversation at lunchtime might go a little something like this:

Mama: “I’ll tell you what, I think these blackeyed peas are the best I’ve ever had.”

Daddy: “Well, they’re good, for sure. But remember that time we were at that place next to the gas station? They had some mighty fine peas if you recall.”

Mama: “OOOOOH, they sure did. And they had good fried catfish, too. Now pass me some of that cornbread, honey, if you don’t mind. Anyway, just thinkin’ about their fried catfish makes me hungry even though I’m eating, so I think I’ll fry up some fish for supper, maybe make some homemade macaroni and cheese, then whip up a little cole slaw and make some homemade tartar sauce. And then maybe some lemon icebox pie for dessert? Wouldn’t that be good? Now pass me those peas, baby; I believe I need seconds. You want some homemade ice cream?”

And y’all, I promise that’s an accurate description because for the last two days I’ve been living it. My sister-in-law Janie and my nephews came in town for Alex’s birthday, and we have eaten until we don’t even want to think about food, but somehow, inevitably, we end up talking about a meal we’ve had before or a meal we want to have, and as a result of all the eating and all the talking about eating and all the planning to eat, I am as full as I’ve ever been. Borderline miserable. And considering trying Tums for the very first time in my life.

We started off yesterday afternoon with cake and ice cream, then came home from Alex’s party and had an assortment of appetizers before we ate grilled hamburgers and French fries. Before we had more cake. And ice cream.

Today I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast (translation: I popped open a tube and placed the dough ever-so-gingerly on a cookie sheet, then spread the icing from the enclosed plastic container over the warm doughy goodness), and then this afternoon we headed to our favorite Mexican place where we ate way too many fajitas and way too much cheese dip and salsa.

And tonight, instead of leaving well enough alone, we rolled out the appetizers again and had pork tenderloin and baked potatoes. Plus, you know, more cake. And perhaps a little ice cream.

Which is why Tums are suddenly such an attractive option.

So while I know I shouldn’t be thinking about food again, I find myself with a strange desire to make my favorite Paula Deen coffee cake for breakfast in the morning. However, I’m going to stand firm and resist because I have to stop the insanity before we all clog an artery.

But I will share the recipe with y’all because it’s one of my favorites – ever-so-delicious.


Granite Steps Coffee Cake

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (12-ounce) can buttermilk biscuits
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 cup quick-cooking rolled oats
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
1/2 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Generously grease a 9-inch square baking dish. In a small bowl, combine brown sugar and cinnamon and mix well with a fork. Separate biscuit dough into 10 biscuits. Cut each biscuit into quarters, and dip each piece in melted butter and coat with brown sugar mixture. Arrange in a single layer in baking dish. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup of the oats.

Combine blueberries and sugar in a bowl and toss to coat. Spoon over oats and biscuits and sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup oats. Drizzle remaining melted butter on top. Bake for 20 minutes or until cake is golden brown and center is done. Cool for 20 minutes. Serve warm.

So see? It’s actually totally healthy because, you know, it has oatmeal.

Oh, mercy.

This type of behavior isn’t going to do one thing to help me reach my goal of losing forty pounds by tomorrow.

Filed Under: Family Fun, The South

Four Years Old Today

14 March 2007 by

Dear Alex,

Today is your fourth birthday, although in keeping with how you express yourself these days, I should probably say that TODAY! IS! YOUR! FOURTH! BIRTHDAY! – because there’s not a doubt in my mind that today is going to be a day filled with CAPITAL LETTERS and EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!, and your daddy and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

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This last year has been my absolute favorite with you so far, mainly because you are such great company. There’s absolutely no place that I could go that wouldn’t be made more fun by having you along for the ride, unless of course that place is the library, in which case I would cry “UNCLE” before we ever stepped in the front doors. You’re not so strong with the quiet at this point in your life, but that’s okay because Mama understands that it’s extraordinarily difficult to convey your near-constant capital-letter excitement for OH LOOK, MAMA! SHELVES! when you’re limited to mere whispers.  

Besides, it’s not like the library is going anywhere, so we’ll head back when you’re about seven and see if we can make it more than fifteen minutes in the Young Readers section without disturbing a majority of the reading patrons. Let’s make it a date, ‘kay?

 

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Your wide open enthusiasm and love for people is a constant source of wonder for your daddy and me, and sometimes when you’re introducing yourself to the check-out girl at Walmart or the bag boy at Publix or the person who changes our oil at the ExpressLube, your daddy and I will look at each other, grin, and delight in the realization that your extroversion is so innate that there’s no way we could’ve taught it to you. It’s who you are through and through, and even though I’ve winced a time or nine when you’ve said, “Hi, I’m Alex. I’m three. This is my friend Mama” and then ANNOUNCED MY AGE TO A LARGE LINE OF GROCERY SHOPPERS, I wouldn’t dream of correcting you, mainly because I have big plans to teach you that my actual age is twenty six and then let you proclaim it to the masses.  

 

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Lately at bedtime you’ve decided that you like for your daddy to tuck you in and say prayers with you, and after he leaves your room you call for me to come snuggle with you. You will not go to sleep until you have had “snuggle time” with both of us, and I treasure it like crazy because I know that one day you will be thirteen and prefer that we respect your six-foot radius of Personal Space while you’re busy trying to pretend that we don’t exist.  

(Also: when you are thirteen you will read this post and roll your eyes. And then I will chase you and catch you and give you one hundred kisses. You might as well make your peace with that now.)

 

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You like to talk when we have our snuggle time, and you often announce, as you smush up next to me and put your head on my shoulder, that it’s time for some questions. For five or ten minutes you’ll ask me about what our plans are for the next day or how far away heaven is or whether or not God made pajamas. Inevitably in those moments I’ll be overcome with emotion, and I’ll look you straight in the eyes and tell you how much I love you, how blessed I am to be your mama. Then, in the quiet of darkness, you’ll look right back at me and say, “AWWWW, SHUCKS, MAMA! I LOVE YOU, TOO!” 

And somehow, it’s just as it should be that your words shock the quiet of our time together every night, because that’s exactly what your arrival four years ago did for your daddy and me. You have caused us to sit up and open our eyes and take in the world from a completely different perspective, one that is infinitely richer and deeper and better simply because you’re here to share life with us.

I will never get over that as long as I live.

I love you so much,
Mama

Filed Under: Family Fun

AI – Top 12

13 March 2007 by

Tonight the finalists hit the big time; can’t wait to see who stands out the most now that the guys and the girls are one big group.

Brandon Rogers – “You Can’t Hurry Love” – He seems oh-so-comfortable performing, but I just think this song is sort of boring for this stage of the competition – and then did he forget the words a little bit? Great arrangement of this song, though – and I thought the end was great. I guess I just expected him to come out a little bit stronger…he seemed like a nice guy doing a nice version of a nice song. But nothing special.

Melinda Doolittle – “Home” – Y’all. I had goosebumps to the very tip-top of my head. She has such a gift, and to know that she knows the Source of her gift? Well, it just makes it all the better. She’s incredible. And her humility is the icing on the top of the talent cake.

Chris Sligh – “Endless Love” – Okay – y’all know I really like him. But when he started singing, I thought he was launching into the theme from “The Love Boat.” As the song went on, it got much better – but he didn’t seem comfortable with it at all. It was an odd performance, and even though I loved his voice on the louder parts, the whole thing was just sort of weird. Also: I missed his glasses.

Gina Glockson – “Love Child” – Now while I do not believe “pronunciate” – which is what the lovely Miss Ross told Gina to do during rehearsal – is in fact a word, I will say that the advice was dead-on, because I had a really hard time understanding what Gina was saying. She seemed a little uncomfortable to me, too – trying so hard to make a song outside of her genre her own (which is admirable), but I didn’t feel it, yo. I still like her a bunch, though.

Sanjaya Malakar – “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” – I’m trying – but I can’t get past his hair. Seriously, y’all. Did he use those spiral rollers or something? Because he has perfect curls. And I’m sure he’s an absolutely lovely person, but he is not a singer. However, I commend him for getting on that stage and giving it his all.

(Oh, internets – I’m trying so hard to be nice.)

(But I really don’t understand how he’s still on the show.)

Haley Scarnato – “Missing You” – See, I was thinking that it was her best performance so far, and then she forgot the words, bless her heart. I did think that this performance was her least “affected” so far in that it didn’t scream “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Arkansas!” She really is a beautiful girl, and tonight, with the more subdued performance, I sort of “got” her for the first time.

Phil Stacey – “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me” – Great song for his voice – and I think this was my favorite performance by him so far. He had some trouble with the low notes, but for the most part, he sounded really good. Glad to see him do well this week.

LaKisha Jones – “God Bless The Child” – HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THAT DIANA ROSS CALLED HER “KIKI”? She is so talented, and this song seems tailor-made for her voice. I think she could sing anything – and as she was singing tonight, I thought, “Yep, if she came to town, I would absolutely pay to see her perform. At this point, it’s hard to envision the final two being anyone other than “Kiki” and Melinda.

I’m so going to want to call her “Kiki” from now on.

Blake Lewis – “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” – Vocally I thought he was a’ight, but I definitely could’ve done without the dancing. And somehow the arrangement of this song sounded like something that would’ve been on a soundtrack for a John Hughes movie in the 80’s. I found myself wishing that he would just sing the song instead of trying to reinvent it.

Stephanie Edwards – “Love Hangover” – I just have to get this out of the way: LOVED HER DRESS. She sounded really good, but the song seemed to last forever, and because the lyrics are so repetitive, it got a little boring. I do think that she has the potential to break out from the pack, but she’s going to have to pick better songs.

Chris Richardson – “The Boss” – Oh, how I loved hearing those horns at the beginning. I don’t think was as strong vocally as he’s been before – I believe Randy would call it “pitchy” – but the arrangement was so good that I was willing to forgive the shaky parts. I thought it was fun – but I’m not so sure that it was good.

Jordin Sparks – “If We Hold On Together” – She’s pretty, and she can sing. I don’t think this song is a particularly good one – sort of the whole formulaic ballad thing – but she did a really nice job with it. Hard to believe she’s 17. As my mama would say, she has “presence.”

Who should go? – SANJAYA. PLEASE?

Best of the night? – Melinda, with LaKisha right behind her

If you would like to link to your own post about AI, just enter the URL to your specific post in the Mr. Linky below.

Filed Under: TV Is My Friend

In Which I Surrender To The Need For A 108 Ounce Jar Of Peanut Butter

12 March 2007 by

Today has been one of those days where I’ve felt like I needed to run to the computer and type, “INTERNETS, HELP ME!” about five different times.

No kidding: something seems to have come undone in my brain over the last couple of weeks in terms of taking care of household business that is normally pretty effortless for me (see: stocking the pantry, shopping for toiletries, making sure we have plenty of detergent, etc.).

Lately I find myself in a constant state of “oh, I forgot such-and-such,” even though I go to the store armed with a list. Even though I keep a magnetized notepad on the refrigerator so I can jot down a note when we run out of something. Even though I’m a fairly organized person.

But y’all, I feel like I’m running back to the grocery store ALL THE TIME. And when I got home from the store this afternoon, I realized that I still needed to buy toilet paper AND peanut butter AND Pop Tarts AND cream of mushroom soup AND wasp spray (which will not be used in the preparation or presentation of any particular meal), and how in the world could we be out of any of those things because OH MY WORD DIDN’T I JUST BUY THEM?

So after some serious overthinking, I’ve determined that the time has come to call in the Big Boys. The time has come to let go of my why-would-anyone-want-a-case-of-brownie-mix mentality. The time has come to indoctrinate myself in the Costco culture, and trust me when I tell you that I wish I were kidding.

Honestly, I’ve never thought it was that much cheaper to buy the larger sizes or to buy in bulk. But now I’m starting to believe that the people who buy in bulk are buying it because they need every last bit of what they buy, and oh sweet mercy if buying 400 rolls of paper towels will keep me from having to buy a two-pack every single week for the rest of my life, then sign me up because I think I’m way past ready. I’m just tired of what feels like constant re-stocking.

So tell me, oh wise ones: do you shop for your family at one of the big discount clubs? Sam’s and Costco are the ones we have in this neck of the woods, though I know there are different ones all over the country (and Canada! I certainly don’t want to leave out Canada!). And if you do shop at a discount club, here are my questions:

1. Do you buy all your groceries there? Or just a select few items?
2. What do you think are the best Sam’s / Costco deals? For example, if I only wanted to spend $100 of our grocery money there every month, how could I get the most bang for my buck?
3. Is it even worth it to join? Or would I do just as well to buy the bigger quantities at, say, Walmart?

And then one last thing:

I’ve really slacked off in the last six months in terms of planning my menus in advance, and I think that’s yet another reason why my grocery shopping feels so disjointed. So if you’re a consistent menu planner, how far in advance do you plan? And do you have any sort of “system” for your planning (a calendar, an online helper, etc.)?

I can’t wait to read your comments because I’m hoping that they will make the crazy go away, and my, what a happy day it will be.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Y’all rocketh (and rolleth, to boot).

Filed Under: Out Of Control

Rah Ram Rom

12 March 2007 by

Yesterday D. and I had lunch at Mama and Daddy’s house. Alex had spent a few days with them, and once D. and I were thoroughly exhausted from eating out every single meal and not watching any Playhouse Disney shows at all and listening to the blistering quiet that permeated every single room in our house, we decided that we’d better go pick up the little man because by Sunday morning we missed him so much that we couldn’t wait to wrap our arms around him, even if he responded by sneezing in our mouths or wiping his nose on our sleeves.

He didn’t sneeze in our mouths, by the way, but he did cough in both of our faces, and oh, reunions are a tender time, aren’t they?

Once we were all sufficiently hugged and sugared, we settled in on one of Mama and Daddy’s couches while Alex regaled us with tales of how much he missed us and how he had been to FOUR! DIFFERENT! PLAYGROUNDS! with my daddy. Then he promptly told us that he didn’t want to go back to our house and instead would prefer to stay with his grandparents forever and ever. I can hardly blame him, because if there were a way for me to live somewhere free of charge and enjoy a diet that consists of only donuts, Coke, Pop Tarts, and vanilla wafers, I would pretty much be on board with that for, you know, EVER.

Mama fixed a wonderful lunch for us – turkey divan, butterbeans, creamed corn, bread, apple pie and ice cream – and some our closest family friends came over to eat with us. Robbie and CB have been an extension of our family for our twenty years; so it’s always great to see them and catch up on what’s going on with their family. They actually hosted our wedding reception at their house, and the older I get, the more I’m convinced that OH MY WORD THEY WERE COMPLETELY INSANE TO DO THAT. But it was a lovely affair, and we will forever be grateful.

At some point over lunch the conversation turned to technology, as it always does when my daddy and my husband are breathing. Combine Daddy’s and D.’s affinity for all things tech-related with CB’s very techy line of work, and you essentially have a Festival-O-Gadgetry right there at the dinner table. I can keep up with all the talk of PORTS and HUBS and CABLES to a certain extent, but Mama and Robbie are another story.

I can truly say in all Christian love and kindness that Mama and Robbie are the least tech-savvy people on the face of the planet, but really that’s okay because it’s nearly impossible to stay on the cutting edge of computer news when you’re busy running the Stunt Pillow Palace of America. So about five minutes into the men’s Deep Analysis of the State of Telecommunications in the U.S. and Parts of Western Europe, Mama’s and Robbie’s eyes started to glaze over, and I knew they would find the conversation so much more enjoyable if we could all just talk about fabric instead.

I made a comment about how Robbie must be absolutely riveted by the excitement inherent in a discussion of wireless routers, and she shook her head and started to laugh. CB couldn’t resist, and he chimed in with an anecdote to illustrate Robbie’s stunning computer prowess.

Apparently Robbie called CB one time when he was out of town on business and announced that she was READY TO LEARN ABOUT EMAIL, so he walked her through the steps of opening their email program. He was trying to tell her where to point the mouse, when to click, etc., but she kept saying, “CB! I JUST DON’T SEE ANYTHING!”

“Click where the mouse is pointing, Robbie. Just line up the arrow on the mouse with the program you want to open, and click it.”

“BUT I DON’T SEE ANYTHING!”

CB went on to ask how she couldn’t at least be seeing something, and they ran through various troubleshooting measures to determine the reason why Robbie couldn’t see anything. After mere seconds they determined that the primary problem was that Robbie had never turned on the computer.

So she’s pretty much all about the information age, if you can’t tell.

After lunch was over Mama, Robbie and I went into the den to visit, and we could hear bits and pieces of the men’s conversation filtering in from the dining room. Robbie remarked that CB would sit at the table all day long and talk about computers, and I echoed her sentiment because I know for a fact that D.’s greatest joys in life – aside from his faith and his family, of course – come from Products With Buttons and Cords, and if you don’t believe me then it’s clear you were not with him last Friday night when he was finally able to purchase a Wii after a three-month quest to find a store that actually had them in-stock.

The Wii is “for Alex,” of course.

AHEM.

Anyway, Mama and Robbie continued to talk about how they JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE COMPUTER, and as Robbie overheard Daddy, CB, and D. talking about CD-ROMs, ISPs, IP addresses, JPEGs and USBs, she shrugged her shoulders, looked at me and said, “Hmph. Sounds like a bunch of letters to me.”

She had barely finished her sentence when Mama said, “Oh, TO ME, TOO, Robbie. That is the TRUTH. Just a bunch of letters!”

So I hate to break it to y’all, but I don’t think Robbie and Mama are going to be starting blogs anytime soon.

However, with any luck at all, I’ll be able to teach them how to turn on the computer and CHECK THE EMAIL by summertime.

I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.

Filed Under: Family Fun, Rambling
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