Well, I am sitting here watching the finale of The Bachelorette even though I didn’t watch a single episode after the season premiere. But I read something earlier this week about THE MOST DRAMATIC HEARTBREAK EVER, so I tuned in tonight to see how everything pans out. So far it seems to me that Des must have been attracted to the hipster type, because the guy she just sent home is so earnest in expressing his thoughts and reactions that I am sort of halfway waiting for him to pull out a guitar and convey those feelings in an impromptu yet heartfelt song.

Also, based on the five minutes of island footage that I have seen so far, I think that I would like to go to Antigua. Like, tomorrow. Please and thank you.

This morning I had a meeting at 8, which is about the same time that I’ve been hauling myself out of bed the last five or six weeks. I was very puzzled and confused when I heard the alarm, and I’ve spent the rest of the day yawning and, as my mama always says, “resting my eyes.”

After lunch I did manage to make a quick trip to the grocery store, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in a greater state of meal-planning desperation. It’s so humid here, which means that I don’t want to cook anything that will make my kitchen hot, but by the same token I’ve just about burned out all of us on Meals Involving The Grill. I am normally all about shopping the perimeter of the store and buying lots of fresh stuff and blah blah blah blahtedy blah, but today was my grocery store equivalent of saying, “SUMMER, YOU HAVE WORN ME DOWN.” The only – ONLY – item of produce in my car was one lone Vidalia onion, and I’m too embarrassed to tell you what else I bought. Just suffice it to say three things: 1) it’s a time of the month when junk food is very appealing 2) I relied heavily on potato chips wisdom from last week and 3) for tonight’s vegetable I served baked beans, which, honestly, only qualifies as a vegetable on a technicality.

So. What are y’all doing for supper during these dog days of summer? Keep in mind that I am iffy at best on anything involving a red sauce, and a cold soup would never fly in this house. But if you have any ideas that are simple and quick and LO, EVEN HEALTHY, I would love to hear them. Because my supper rut is so deep that it may be November before I find my way out.

Muchas gracias in advance, bloggy people.

Well, I didn’t mean to leave the potato chips post at the top of the page for three days, but I got sidetracked with beach fun, and really it turned out just fine because the comments on the last post have brought me untold amounts of joy. OH MY WORD y’all have provided a wealth of potato chips information, and I was especially delighted to be reminded of this previously forgotten treasure.

Au Gratin O’Grady’s. The gold standard of 80’s potato chips. May they rest in peace.

Today we have been settling back in to real life and responsibilities and etc. We spent most of the day plowing through an Errands Extravaganza because I recognized this morning that I needed to try to whittle down the to-do list I’ve been neglecting for the last two weeks. We finished about three-quarters of the seemingly endless list-o-tasks I keep in the “Reminders” app on my phone, but we eventually had to push pause on the productivity since the boy and I had appointments for haircuts at 2:30. He was supposed to be at a friend’s at 3:30, and since I was getting highlights in addition to my haircut, I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to take a break from my time at the hair salon in order to run Alex over to his friend’s house in a timely fashion.

By the way, if you’re wondering, Um, why did you agree for your child to be at a friend’s house at 3:30 if you knew you were going to be at the salon until 4:00 at the earliest?, then I will explain. I have a bad habit in that sometimes I inadvertently double-book, and when I realize that I’ve double-booked, I feel so bad about canceling that I just try figure out how to make both things happen. I won’t even attempt to put a positive spin on this behavior because it is SO annoying. Fortunately, though, most of the time everything just kind of works out – like today when the girl who does my hair folded the last piece of foil at 3:22, which meant that I had 30 minutes for the foils to work their magic while I ran A to his friend’s house. However, that also meant that I TOOK MY CHILD TO HIS FRIEND’S HOUSE WITH A FULL SET OF FOILS IN MY HAIR.

As a matter of fact, as soon as we hopped in the car (and have mercy was it ever tricky to duck my way into the driver’s seat while keeping all those foils in place), Alex said, “Mama? Since you’re taking me to C’s house with that stuff in your hair, I think that maybe I’m going to write a book called All The Ways Moms Can Embarrass Their Children.”

“Listen,” I answered. “Either I drive a mile and a half with foils in my hair, or you’re going to have to wait for the foils to be out of my hair – and you’ll be an hour late. I happen to think this is a pretty decent solution.”

“Good point,” he replied. And then I proceeded to tilt my head so that I could attempt to shield people in the opposite lane from the glare of the 100 pieces of tinfoil that surrounded my face. Luckily the friend’s house was only 4 or 5 minutes from the salon, so I managed to drop off the young’un, preserve the foils, and make it back to the salon with about 20 minutes to spare.

SEE? IT ALL WORKED OUT.

And that’s really all that’s been going on around here. Well, besides the fact that Mama called me Tuesday afternoon to tell me that she’d fried 20 pieces of chicken FOR LUNCH – all because my nephews were there and they love her fried chicken and apparently they can PUT THE HURT on some yard bird. Then last night my cousin Paige drove over from Mississippi to pick up her little guy, who went to the beach with us, and D and I agree that we never get tired of having them here. They could visit us forever and that would suit us just fine. And this morning I talked to my aunt, who gave me a report on what happened at prayer meeting last night (if you’ve read my book, you know all about those prayer meetings), and after that a guy from Home Depot came over and installed a new storm door that is quiet as a whisper and may very well change our lives in terms of opening and closing the back door.

As you can see, the excitement never stops.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

Well, the blog is fixed and in proper working order again, so comments should show up as you leave them. Unless you don’t leave any comments. In which case the absence of comment moderation won’t really be a factor at all.

D and I got home from our trip last Wednesday night, so Thursday I drove to my parents’ house to pick up the little guy (who really can’t be considered a little guy anymore considering that he and I now wear the same size shoe). Anyway, he had a great time with all of his grandparents, and he was especially tickled that he and Martha got to eat supper together at the Western Sizzlin. He ordered a cheeseburger and says it was delicious.

(It has taken me almost two hours to write the previous two paragraphs.)

(I’ve run across a TV special called William, Kate, & the Royal Baby, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be productive under these circumstances.)

So, considering my record-setting pace-o-slowness with this post, I guess I’d better just get on with the business at hand and hope for better, wordier days later this week. It’s just difficult to make much forward narrative progress while watching footage of the Royal Family. I’m like a moth to flame.

Therefore comma here are a few things I wanted to share with you.

– When I was growing up, Mama always made notations in her cookbook. Her notes would say things like, “Great for a crowd,” or “Delicious in the summertime,” or, my personal favorite, “Men LOVE this.” I always wondered how Mama could tell if a group of men especially liked something she cooked, but then I made this pork tenderloin recipe for a group, and it all became crystal clear.

Well, tonight I made this potato-beef casserole, and the fellas (my two plus Joseph, my cousin’s little boy) definitely had a reaction that would merit a “Men LOVE this” notation in a cookbook. Granted, I thought it was good, but they thought it was DELICIOUS. I added a little Worcestershire and substituted Panko bread crumbs, and it was one of those stick-to-your-ribs dishes that only needs a salad to be a complete meal.

– My friend Carol has written such a touching post about losing the labels. Carol’s words are so thought-provoking, and they apply to all sorts of circumstances, regardless of what specific challenges you or your family might be facing.

– Candy Crush Update: I played off and on for about four days, and I was proud of myself for not buying any extra lives or bonuses or whathaveyou because there’s no question that the game is super-addictive. However, early this afternoon – after trying to complete level 23 for the third day in a row – I realized something: I am really, really terrible at Candy Crush. Seriously. I’m just not good at it. So I’m walking away. I feel good about this development.

– I’m always challenged by Jen’s thoughts on motherhood, and this post, “Flourish,” is no exception.

– At least once a week I get an email from someone who asks about things to do / places to eat / sights to see in Birmingham. I happen to think that the ‘Ham is the South’s best-kept secret – and it is a WONDERFUL place to live – so I was thrilled to see a post that’s all about Birmingham on Southern Living‘s blog last week. It is a great resource, as is SL‘s Birmingham City Guide.

– Last night we drove up to a bluff that’s not far from our house, and we spent the next 30 or 45 minutes watching the sunset. It was glorious.

Oh, Birmingham. It’s no wonder that we’re so crazy about you.

– Ben Rector’s new single is, well, beautiful. Which seems fitting considering the title. And right now, on iTunes, it’s free.

Happy Monday, y’all!

Several things:

1) I’ve been on a little getaway with my husband for the last few days. We are headed home this morning, but we have had the best time.

2) Thanks to a faulty plug-in (I say that like I know what it means), the blog broke this past Monday. Fortunately there are people who are much smarter than I am who were able to fix it so that the blog wasn’t just a blank, white screen anymore. I think we can all agree that blogs are so much more enjoyable when you can read the words.

3) However, the plug-in that filters my comment spam still isn’t working, which means that all the (inappropriate) stuff that normally gets filtered and thrown in a folder has been showing up in the comments. I have tried my best to keep up with it and delete those comments as I see them, but it’s sort of like trying to put out a fire with a water gun.

4) SO, until the plug-ins are installed again and ready to roll, I’ve turned on comment moderation so that the spam can’t get through to the comments unless I approve it. That also means that comments from y’all can’t get through unless I approve them, but the spam is so vile that I think it’s worth a little short-term inconvenience to stop it.

5) This has nothing to do with comment spam, but I just downloaded Candy Crush to my phone. I hear I’ll be completely addicted in no time.

Hope y’all are having a good week – I should be back to my regular bloggy routine in the next day or two!

Love,
The Spambot

Last week Melanie and I went to Nashville to record the opening video for the next dotMOM event, which will be September 20-21 in Chattanooga. And I think I used the wrong lingo in the previous sentence, because Mel and I didn’t do any of the actual recording since we do not know how to operate large video cameras, so I guess it’s more accurate to say that we did a little light acting for the video while someone else recorded us. Don’t even get me started about how awkward I feel in front of a camera, not to mention my life-long resistance to any form of skit, but we really did have so much fun. The LifeWay folks make it a blast. Plus, Angie was with us, and OH, THE LAUGHING.

During our lunch break we were sitting around with our good friend Paige, and we were chatting about all of our dotMOM fun over the last couple of years. It’s such a laid-back (but very well-organized) conference with so much flexibility in the schedule, and you’d better believe that the teaching is solid and challenging and encouraging and thought-provoking. I would totally go even if I weren’t emceeing, and that is saying something because do you know what I enjoy more than just about anything? BEING AT HOME.

Anyway, at some point in our conversation I mentioned that I’ve had several people tell me that they’d really like to go to the conference – but they don’t have blogs. The first couple of times it happened I was BEFUDDLED, but then I realized that “dotMOM” sounds like it must somehow be associated with tech-y things. Like maybe it’s a conference for moms who enjoy social media or something. Angie and Melanie said that they’ve heard the same kind of comments from people, so we agreed that there might be room for some clarity on this particular issue.

So. Here are a few bits of (hopefully) helpful info about dotMOM:

1) You do not have to be a blogger to attend dotMOM. You do not have to be on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram. You don’t need a smartphone or a laptop or an iPad. You don’t even have to have email, though I’m betting that if you’re reading this post, you’re probably covered on the email front. Just a guess.

2) The purpose of dotMOM is to “encourage and refresh you, connect you with other moms, celebrate motherhood, and draw you closer to Christ.”

3) dotMOM is for ALL MOMS. Young moms, moms-to-be, middle-aged moms, older moms, grandmoms, great-grandmoms, moms of one, moms of many, ALL THE MOMS. One of the really neat things that happens at dotMOM is that there’s lots of room and time for discussion, so the perspective of moms who have some experience under their belts is invaluable.

And now that I’ve been annoyingly detailed about the purpose of the conference, here are a few MORE details about dotMOM Chattanooga because oh have mercy we would be so tickled to see some of y’all there.

Teaching – Vicki Courtney, John Croyle, Jen Hatmaker, and Angela Thomas are teaching the main sessions in Chattanooga. That’s a mighty fine line-up.

Worship – Lauren Chandler is leading worship. Come on.

Break-outs – You can chart your own course during break-out time. During the four break-out blocks during the conference, you’ll find sessions on all manner of topics related to marriage and family.

All righty. I believe I’ve covered the basics. I hope I’ve clarified the “dot.” And I can tell you from firsthand experience that Chattanooga will have lots of laughs, lots of time with friends, lots of great teaching, and hopefully lots of rest because the Saturday morning session doesn’t start until 9:30 (you can find a detailed schedule and a list of all the break-outs right here). Right now the early bird registration price is still in effect, but that window closes on July 22. Just passing along the info for those of you who enjoy a discount. Hotel info is here under “location” if you scroll down the page.

Finally, here’s the video that Mel and I did last year for dotMOM 2012. I continue to be mortified by my hair, but it was very humid and and one can of Frizz Ease hair spray can only do so much good. Also, if anybody would like to pass along a little touch of the botox for that deep vertical crease above my mouth, I’d be all for it.

GOOD TIMES.

The end.