So yesterday Melanie called me and said, “You know, I think I want to move such-and-such on my blog,” and I was all, “Oh, I can do that for you right this second; I actually moved that very thing on my blog this past week,” and so we chatted and giggled as I logged in to her blog and worked my bloggy magic because I AM A TOTAL BLOGGING PRO, Y’ALL, and then I clicked to view my changes and when I saw what had happened I simultaneously screamed and laughed nervously as my heart dropped straight into my stomach.

Because clearly something had gone horribly awry.

I attempted to move one little thing for Mel – one TEENSY WEENSY thing – and the whole template went haywire. And the weird thing is that I didn’t even delete critical parts of code like I have done on my own blog about four hundred and twenty two times. I just copied and pasted some stuff to a different area of her sidebar, and then suddenly the header was gone and the verse of the day was stretched sixteen miles long and the posts were all at the bottom and I’m pretty sure that I saw some jet-black smoke pouring out of her blogroll.

And like I told her last night: as much as I want to log in to her template again and try to fix whatever it is that I did, the rational part of my brain knows that I’d better stay away because any more tampering with HTML on my end of things may cause the whole interweb to explode in a fiery ball.

So I’m staying away. And Melanie and I both have summoned the professionals to undo the damage.

Really, it’s sort of a shame that Mel and I aren’t some sort of bloggy rivals, because if we were this whole HTML fiasco would be like that episode of “Designing Women” where we find out that Suzanne was sabotaged in the talent portion of a pageant when another contestant put extra fuel in Suzanne’s fire batons, thus causing Suzanne to wipe out the power of an entire arena when she threw one of the fire batons up in the air and accidentally ignited all manner of wiring.

Or like that girl in that pageant in Puerto Rico who says that someone doused her evening gown with pepper spray.

So I guess basically what I’m saying is that if y’all will provide Big Mama and me with some evening gowns and some crowns, we will turn my ineptitude with HTML code into some first-rate bloggy drama. We could even stage some sort of catfight in the tradition of Krystle Carrington and Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. Of Moldavia.

Except that Melanie and I would want to skip the catfight part and just eat chips and queso in our evening gowns.

And also: perhaps if I devoted as much attention to HTML as I apparently once did to Dynasty, I could have avoided this whole hot mess altogether.

Anyhoo.

There’s actually a very important lesson in this woeful tale: if you’re going to inadvertently tear up someone’s blog template (I RURNT it! I just RURNT it!), it makes things much easier if your victim is a very close friend with an extraordinarily well-developed sense of humor.

Because yesterday? When I got so flustered on the phone with Mel that I dropped a box of lasagna noodles and then knocked myself in the head with a cabinet door because my NERVES, ohmylands my NERVES? She laughed so hard that I think she began to wheeze.

But still. I am so very sad. And so very sorry.

Did I mention that I am sad and sorry?

I believe I will eat some more chocolate now.

D went to Costco this morning to pick up a few work-related things. He got home right about the time that Alex and I were sitting down for lunch, and in a sweeping romantic gesture, he handed me a surprise:

(!!!!!)

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

Because DO YOU SEE, INTERNETS? DO YOU SEE? IT’S TWICE AS CONCENTRATED.

And there’s enough detergent in there to wash ONE HUNDRED AND TEN loads of clothes.

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN!

(!!!!!)

My joy, it knows no bounds.

And I can’t help but wonder: aside from some sort of full-time maid service, is there any household product someone could give you that would send your heart soaring?

Or do I just need to accept that I’m beyond weird since I get a touch of the butterflies over, you know, LAUNDRY DETERGENT?

p.s. Gain is always my first household product love, but as I’ve mentioned before, this is a very close second. I heart it more and more every single day.

And sometimes I clean my countertops just so I can smell it.

p.p.s. I’m so embarrassed that I just told you that.

p.p.p.s. Please don’t judge me.

Comments have been closed because we’re going to have us a Soup-Tacular this Friday. Read the post above this one if you’d like more info.

Internets, I need your help.

Well, not so much your help as your feedback, but “I NEED YOUR HELP” sounds so much more pressing and dramatic, don’t you think?

Is anyone having that problem where my posts go down to the middle of the page? A couple of people have mentioned that they’re having trouble, but I don’t know if I’m dealing with an isolated font-size-is-set-too-large issue or with an oh-my-word-the-ads-have-swallowed-up-the-sidebar-and-taken-over-the-blog issue because, as usual, everything looks just dandy on my end of things.

Also – and this is completely unrelated – if you have a good, hearty soup recipe will you leave a link in my comments? The “hearty” part is extremely important because, as I’ve mentioned before, I have a husband who does not believe that soup constitutes a meal unless said soup falls under the aforementioned “hearty” category.

I even thought about doing a big ole soup carnival – having a designated day where everyone leaves his or her favorite soup recipes – but somehow that seemed a little weird even though now I think I totally should have done just that.

Have I mentioned that I love soup?

No? Well, I adore it.

Thank you and have a lovely afternoon.

Edited to add – if you see anything on the Bonbon Charms site that you’d like to go ahead and order, you can enter in the coupon code BOOMAMA (all caps) at checkout and get a 20% discount.

So clearly we will be having fried chicken and ice cream later.

I don’t know if y’all know this, but one of the cool things about the wide world interweb is that it enables you to find products and designers and whatnot and whathaveyou that you would have never known about without the aid of the computer.

They say you can even shop online.

I wouldn’t know anything about that, of course.

Well, a couple of weeks ago someone sent me a link to a mom-owned business that I probably would have never discovered without the interweb. The business is called Bonbon Charms, and I thought it was so fun that – you guessed it – it’s giveaway time!

What I love about Bonbon Charms is that you can create jewelry that’s personalized and a real reflection of your family. I also love that you could start a bracelet or a necklace for your little girl, even if she’s just a wee one, and by the time she’s in her 20’s she will have an absolutely priceless keepsake – an heirloom, even.

And that’s just cool.

Erica from Bonbon Charms is giving away the Christmas collection item of your choice to five lucky winners – and here’s what you have to do to enter:

1) Click over to Bonbon Charms.
2) Take a look around the site.
3) Come back here and leave a comment telling me what your favorite product is.

And if you’re interested in ordering, you can certainly do that, too – in fact, I’ll have a special discount code for y’all in the next couple of days. But a word to the wise: you have to place your order by December 10th if you want it delivered by Christmas.

I’ll close this giveaway on Thursday, December 5th – and I’ll use random.org to draw for five winners.

Have fun, y’all!

This giveaway is now closed.

We just got home from a quick weekend trip, and as I’m sitting here trying to catch up on email, I thought I’d write down the list that’s running on a constant loop in my brain so that MAYBE IT WILL STOP ALREADY.

(OH MY WORD I’M HORMONAL RIGHT NOW.)

(I need to GRAB HOLD OF THE EMOTIONAL REINS.)

(*breathing deeply*)

(Grace and peace be with you, internets.)

(Now.)

(All better.)

1) There are ads on my blog now. I am very excited about this because apparently the ad people will actually SEND ME A CHECK every month. A check that I can then cash and use as REAL LIVE MONEY. Which means that maybe my blogging hobby will actually pay for itself now, as opposed to me helping myself to D’s PayPal account over the course of the last two years so that I could pay for things like blog designs and podcast hosting and bandwidth overages and domain renewals and whathaveyou.

Dedication to a hobby doesn’t come cheaply, my friends.

Unless, of course, your hobby is saving money.

Or being cheap.

In which case you can ignore that previous statement about dedication to a hobby blah blah blah.

2) Some of you have mentioned that you’re having trouble listening to this week’s podcast.

SO AM I!

There seems to be a problem on Libsyn’s end of things. If it’s not all better in the next couple of days, I’ll try uploading the file again and see if that helps.

You may commence with the waiting on the pins and the needles.

Ahem.

3) I did not watch television at all last week. And while some of you may be thinking, “Oh, I bet that was wonderful. I bet you found time to spin flax or make soap or something,” the truth of the matter is that I have missed the television terribly. In fact, I’ve missed the whole TV-watching process: the diet Coke on ice, the soft green coverlet that keeps me warm when I get a little chilly from all the diet Coke on ice, the opening bars of the theme song from “Survivor” or “Amazing Race” or “Project Runway.”

Even though I’m not even sure if “Project Runway” has a theme song.

And if it does have a theme song, I couldn’t hum it right now if you paid me a million dollars.

But still.

So tonight, the TV and I are going to reacquaint ourselves.

I for one am thrilled beyond words.

4) If I could only have three foods for the rest of my life, those foods would be sweet potatoes, black beans and peanut butter.

Surprisingly, fried chicken did not make the list.

I have wanted to tell y’all that for some time now.

What about you?

Winners! We have some winners!

Comment #60 – Donna Wright

Comment #362 – Christie (suddenlink email)

Comment #454 – Melody

Congratulations!

Email me with your mailing address info, and I’ll ship these out first thing next week!