I have tried and tried to embed this video because I know some of you don’t use Facebook, but I can’t get the video to work on my blog. So I’m just going to pass along the link and hope you can see it.

Here’s a hint.

It involves baton twirling.

And just FYI: the part where the guys start hollering as soon as they hear the first few chords of the fight song? This is exactly what it’s like to live in the state of Alabama.

Also, I’ve never been more grateful for this state’s deep, rich, and storied baton twirling heritage.

Please do enjoy.

Amen.

Edited to add: here’s the YouTube version. Apparently the bride was a Crimsonette, the groom was an Auburn drum major, and they had a friendly showdown at the reception. WE CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU, FOOTBALL SEASON.

I’ll be the first to admit that I can develop a resistance to the strangest things. For example, texting. It took me YEARS to get on board. I thought it was way too much work (well, back in the day, it was) and I didn’t understand why people wouldn’t just pick up the phone and make a phone call. And then I’m pretty sure that I’ve blogged before about my tendency to avoid movies that get super-popular because I figure there’s no way they can live up to expectations. This is why I still have never seen Titanic, and at some point I’m sure that my failure to do so will probably get me kicked out of America or something.

It’s super easy for me to fall into the same way of thinking when it comes to blog stuff. When everybody was talking about search engine optimization seven or eight years ago, I vowed and declared that I did not have enough mental energy to think of things like tags and keywords and etc. I did the same thing with a blog Facebook page because I didn’t see the point. I finally gave in on that one after four or five years of stubborness, mainly because I realized that people were using FB like a feed reader and it made good sense to get on board with that.

SO – when people started doing newsletters for their blogs several years ago, I tried to have an open mind. I really did think it sounded like an interesting addition to the normal blog routine, mainly because I love relational things. But when I finally got around to signing up for a Mail Chimp account, I couldn’t figure out how to build a newsletter list, and after approximately seven minutes of tech-y frustration, I was all DONE, THANK YOU, I TRIED, THAT’S IT.

This is precisely the kind of determined stick-to-it-ness you hope to see in your kids and nieces and nephews one day, isn’t it? In fact, now that I think about it, maybe I should write a book called It’s Good to Give Up: Lessons I’ve Learned From Quitting.

Anyway, “having a blog newsletter” somehow made its way to the same mental list where “watching The Blind Side” also lives (I’ve made it six years without seeing The Blind Side, so why would I start now?), and I figured that it was going to be yet another one of those perfectly good things that I just never got around to doing.

HOWEVER.

A few weeks ago I was talking to Melanie, and she assured me that putting a newsletter together was very enjoyable and not nearly as tech-y as I feared (Melanie started a newsletter a couple of month ago; it is such a treat to read, so make sure to sign up on her blog). By the time we hung up the phone, I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if my blog wizard friend Karla could help me with getting the newsletter set up.

And here’s the short answer: yes. Yes, she could. In roughly 16 minutes she was able to do all the things I’d given up on over a year ago.

So ALL THAT TO SAY: I’m going to have a newsletter. How about that fanciness? And it’ll basically cover all sorts of random things that I don’t necessarily put on the blog. I imagine that I’ll write more about what I’m reading and what I’m cooking and what I’m watching and what I’m learning and what I’m ordering at Chuy’s. I would love to have a section called “Martha’s Jacket of the Month,” but that might have to be a quarterly feature since I don’t get to see Martha’s jackets nearly as much as I’d like. I won’t bombard you with emails or anything like that; it’ll just be a simple newsletter maybe 2 or 3 times a month. Probably 2. Maybe just 1 during football season.

Sign-up is super easy; all you have to do is type in your name and email. And there might be a little CAPTCHA thing because SPAMBOTS. I’m planning to send out the first issue sometime in mid-June.

I’m excited about doing something new AND doing something that I thought I wouldn’t do. But this certainly does not mean that I’m about to go watch Kate Winslett and Leonardo DiCaprio lean over the front (is the the bow?) of a ship while Celine Dion sings “My Heart Will Go On.” And I don’t even know if those two things happen at the same time because I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it but I’VE NEVER SEEN THE MOVIE.

I see no reason to reverse that decision, by the way.

After all, I changed my mind about the newsletter.

No sense going crazy.

Love,
I Haven’t Seen The Notebook, Either

No kidding. This morning I re-read my post about my new contact lenses, and my first thought was, Well, congratulations. You have officially outdone yourself in the Have Mercy, Mamaw department.

I mean, seriously. I know that vision does crazy things in the 40s, but that post sounded like I was about to get all the way wound up and offer you some tips about dealing with pesky bursitis or optimizing your daily intake of Matlock reruns.

Now I feel like I need to balance things out and talk about the latest installment of The Bachelorette and maybe analyze some T. Swift lyrics for good measure.

For what it’s worth, I’ve given up on The Bachelorette for the time being, but I will be more than happy to devote some time to the aforementioned lyrics. Because while I may be at a point in my life when I need multifocal contacts, I can still BREAK IT ON DOWN with some T. Swift.

I am understandably proud.

All righty. Here are some items and things and thoughts I wanted to share.

– Hey everybody Mindy Kaling got a bob.

I don’t really have anything to add except that I think she’s darlin’. And as someone who hasn’t had hair past her shoulders since the mid-80s, I’m always excited when someone gets a new bob and it looks this cute.

– You know how I love the Urban Decay Naked Basics eye shadow palette? Well, there’s a new Urban Decay Naked Smoky palette coming out in July, and THE INTERWEB IS ABUZZ.

Seriously. Google it. You will not believe the enthusiasm. I of course will not be able to participate in any of the smoky palette festivities because super dark eyeshadow just makes me look like I’ve been in a fight or maybe even like I’m preparing to play the villain in a Disney cartoon. However, I think all of you people who can pull off a smoky eye will have huge success with this palette. And also, when did we all get together and decide that eyeshadow is THE BUSINESS?

– For some reason this song didn’t stay on my radar when it was released last year, but I heard it again the other day and wondered why I hadn’t listened to it approximately 400 times over the last few months (which, honestly, have not exactly been a cakewalk). The lyrics make me smile like crazy, and while it might sound a little strange for me to say that a song is super encouraging, this one certainly is.

– What’s this? An actual Lifetime movie starring Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig?

BELIEVE I WILL.

Happy Weekend, everybody!

Yesterday I had an eye doctor’s appointment, and to tell you the truth I couldn’t wait to get there and tell my doctor all the ways that I could no longer see. I feel like I’ve spent the last seven or eight months trying to figure out if I’d rather see up close or far away – but never being able to do both at once. I recognize that the reason for this is that YOU’RE GETTING OLD, GLADYS, but since my up close vision is still really good when I’m not wearing my glasses or contacts (for nearsightedness), it’s been frustrating to wear contacts and need my reading glasses, too – or to put on my regular glasses / take them off a thousand times a day (slight exaggeration) depending on if I’m trying to see something far away or, you know, type a blog post.

And yes. I know that this is basically the plight of most 40-something people in the world. It’s not exactly unexpected. But the last few times I’ve been speaking somewhere I’ve been annoyed with my eyes because I could either 1) choose to wear no glasses / no contacts and see my notes beautifully while everyone in the audience was just a big ole blur 2) wear my regular glasses and then take them off to read or look at my notes 3) wear my contacts and put on reading glasses to look at notes 4) wear contacts and wear reading glasses the whole time – which is the same dilemma as #1 because then notes are clear but people are a blur (unless I take off reading glasses and put them back on and take them off again and now we’re back to #3).

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION.

I told myself over and over that my best bet would probably be new glasses with progressive lenses (back in the day we just called them BIFOCALS), so when I got to the doctor’s office yesterday I was pretty resigned to my imaginary fate. I sat in the waiting room and longed for the days when I could see far away AND read a magazine AT THE SAME TIME, so by the time they called my name I was the tiniest bit sad. In fact, when I was going through all the tests before they took me back to an exam room, I said something along the lines of “MY EYES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY AND I CAN’T SEE ANYMORE” and then I collapsed on the ground in a very dramatic fashion and laid there with the back of my hand resting on my forehead while I pictured myself wearing some sah-weet 70’s bifocals.

I’m pretty sure my mama had a pair of those.

And I didn’t really collapse. OF COURSE NOT. But everything about those 70’s bifocals is totally true.

The sweet lady doing all of my tests mentioned in passing that there were some new contacts that might work for me, but I didn’t think too much of it because I haven’t heard of many people who have had good luck with bifocal lenses (or, as they say for Gen X’ers who are in denial about aging issues: multifocal lenses).

(You’re not seeing less, Gen X people.)

(You’re seeing in more ways than ever before.)

(We are a sensitive bunch.)

My doctor made me feel much better when she told me that I have the eyes of a 35 year-old (I have no idea what that means, really, but A WIN’S A WIN), and after she looked at my prescription and curvature and whatnot she said I really would be a good candidate for a new brand of multifocal lenses that, apparently, just came out about a week ago. I told her I’d give them a try, and she assured me that she would still send me home with some of my regular contact lenses just in case the new ones didn’t work for me.

Long story long: she brought me a pair of the new lenses, and Y’ALL, THEY ARE JUST A WONDER. They are super thin, so comfortable, and once my eyes adjusted to them, I could read my phone like it was 2007. I picked up a magazine and read it without having to stretch my arm to the Tuscaloosa County limits. The change was almost instant, and it was easy, and I AM STILL SO VERY TICKLED ABOUT IT.

There’s definitely an optimal reading zone with these contacts; if I’m holding something about six inches from my face, there’s still a little bit of a blur. Honestly, though, I don’t know when I’ve ever tried to read something six inches away from my face; at that point a book or a magazine or a phone would be all up in my personal space. If I hold my phone parallel to my elbow (would you call that an elbow’s length from my face? I have no idea.), I can see great. Even better, I don’t need my reading glasses when I’m on my laptop. AND, just as a test, I just picked up my jar of Mentholatum and read the fine print without putting on my reading glasses and/or turning on every light in the room.

So all that to say: SUCCESS. I can’t wait to go speak somewhere and be able to see the people in the audience AND see my notes. AT THE SAME TIME.

ISN’T THAT SO FANCY?

I still may need to get me a pair of those 70s-ish frames, though.

They’re a sight for sore eyes, don’t you think?

So here’s what’s been happening here:

Nothing, really.

I mean, there have been a few little things. We’ve had some company, I’ve done some writing, we got to hear John Piper preach at our church, we’ve been to Chuy’s, we’ve visited with friends, I’ve made some homemade pizza dough, we’ve watched some TV, and I’ve done a fairly impressive amount of sleeping.

But as far as big news, I don’t have a bit of it. Well, except that (thanks to Sister) I was able to get some tickets for the Garth Brooks / Trisha Yearwood concert next weekend (I didn’t even realize they were going to be in Birmingham until this past Saturday morning), and I’m thinking of taking a bullhorn in the arena and screaming, “HEY TRISHA! LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR TV KITCHENS!” and seeing if that gets me any closer to some concrete information about what in the world is going on.

However.

The reason I wanted to put up a quick post is because Melanie and I are planning to record a podcast tomorrow, so if you’d like for us to answer a particular question, please feel free to leave it in the comments. A whole podcast of Q&A would be fine by me (and I certainly can’t speak for Mel, but I don’t think that she’d mind, either). If you don’t have any questions, just know that we’ll do our best to fill up the hour with some riveting talk of shampoos and household cleaners and trendy vegetables.

Last thing. I just downloaded a hidden object game that takes place at a beauty pageant. Apparently a stone from the crown has been stolen, and it is my job to find it. As you can imagine, I WILL TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY.

It sort of makes me feel like it’s 1977 and I’m Kris Monroe at the Chrysanthemum Festival Pageant on Charlie’s Angels. If memory serves Kris had to use some karate chops during the swimsuit competition, but hopefully this hidden object game won’t come to that. However, if I had to sing a medley or, you know, play some cups, I’d be happy to oblige.

See y’all tomorrow!

You know what we did today? We ran errands. We ran a LOT of errands. I have to say that I enjoyed every second of the errand-running because 1) an almost-6th grader is really fun company and 2) one of my biggest frustrations with trying to balance home and work and writing is that things like errands and chores tend to drop to the bottom of my list. I don’t think I’ve been caught up on laundry in three years, and that would probably make me really sad if I hadn’t made some deep and abiding peace with the fact that there’s no way to get everything done. In fact, every once in awhile someone will ask me about work or writing and then say, “I don’t know how you do it all.” And my response is always the same: “I don’t.” And it’s true. I don’t. Because I can’t. I just do the best I can.

So a whole day to run errands? IT WAS DELIGHTFUL. I wanted to wear some sort of productivity badge because it felt like it’s been forever since I put the hurt on a to-do list. We’ll have a short round 2 in the morning, and then I will re-focus my energies on the aforementioned laundry. It is threatening to take over my closet and is really more of a short wall than any sort of normal-sized pile. It may even qualify as sculpture.

Anyhoodle, there are a few things I want to mention tonight that have nothing to do with laundry or errands or assorted household chores. Please do enjoy.

– If you have Sirius radio, you really need to know that channel 17 is now the James Taylor channel. We listened to it almost all day today, and it is some quality summertime radio. Apparently it’s not a permanent change, but I figure if enough of us listen they can just make another channel, right?

– I have mentioned one or nineteen times that I enjoy a hidden object game from time to time. I actually played a couple of different ones this past weekend and NO SHAME because I was craving a semi-mindless activity to wind down from work and was all caught up on the DVR. As much as I like a hidden object game, though, I don’t like the ones with lots of creepy wizards and monsters and whatnot. Suspenseful is one thing, but scary is not fun to me. I have resigned myself to the fact that almost every hidden object game will have a ghost pop up at some point, and I do okay with that as long as the ghost is dressed in a lovely period costume and is not in fact a menacing skeleton in a cape. So, on the off chance that some of you like hidden object games, too, and you’re looking for some options without monsters, I thought I’d mention a couple that I’ve enjoyed. There’s one Castle game (based on the TV show) that I bought last year on bigfish.com and really enjoyed, and then I think the Final Cut games are a ton of fun. I also like the Dana Knightstone games, and you shouldn’t be put off by the fact that they all have “Death” in the title. I played the “Death at Faring Point” game this past weekend and was so tickled that for one big chunk of the game I was pretty much looking for stuff in a beautiful English garden. Just FYI if you’re looking for something to pass the time when you’re traveling or sitting in the dentist’s office or needing to decompress a little or whathaveyou.

– When David and I were first married I pretty much burned him out on chicken broccoli casserole. I made it a LOT. Well, last weekend I was watching Trisha’s Southern Kitchen (she was in ANOTHER new kitchen) (don’t get me started), and I got a little tickled when she made a chicken broccoli casserole. It was a little different than the one I used to make, though, so I decided to give it a try this week. We all loved it, and I think the next time I make it I may use yellow rice instead of white rice – just to give it a little more kick. Also, it occurred to me tonight that the leftovers would be great to use in quesadillas, and I’m totally going to try that at some point.

– Early bird registration ends June 1st for this year’s dotMOM in Nashville (well, technically it’s Brentwood, but you know what I mean). For Melanie and me this will be our 6th dotMOM, and I think this description is so fitting:

I also got very tickled when I saw the pictures of the speakers…

…because I wondered if poor Melanie is going to have to stay in between Christy Nockels and me all weekend long. I CAN BE A BIT OBSESSIVE.

No kidding. David is somewhat concerned that, in a moment of weakness, I’m going to try to sniff Christy’s hair.

I mean, I wrote this about her in 2007. That would be EIGHT YEARS AGO.

Life is funny, isn’t it?

Hope y’all are having a great week!