I’ve Created A Tee-Tee’ing, Chocolate Eating Monster

People who know me in real life (I always feel weird when I say that because it implies that blogging is some sort of fake life, which of course it isn’t) will tell you that I have about a 24 hour window for staying at home. I always find that a solid day at home leaves me feeling rejuvenated and ready to conquer the world, but more than that and I start to go a little stir crazy. I start thinking too much, analyzing too much, wondering what “the normal people” are doing at those places where you can shop and eat and work and talk to other adults. I start to feel isolated.

I have been home for over 48 hours now. You must trust me when I tell you that ain’t pretty. Because I have lost all perspective and have turned into a crazy woman. A crazy woman armed with a container of Clorox wipes, frantically wiping the commode after every use. Because let’s just say that the little man likes to quite literally get in touch with his porcelain surroundings when he uses the bathroom.

It is the potty training that’s kept us at home. Necessity, not choice. I’ve determined that one reason Alex struggled the last couple of weeks is because we were on the go a lot, so I figured it might do him some good to stay put for a few days.

Find his potty groove, if you will.

And it seems to have worked. He has not had an accident all day today – and has pretty much run around unclothed because he wants to use the potty every 2.4 minutes. He has had tons – TONS – of chocolate, but that’s okay because I figure we can pay for the dental bills with all the money we’re saving on diapers.

Just look how everything works out!

*fake smile*

So I’m going to turn off this computer and go in search of a better mood. And tomorrow we are GOING SOMEWHERE, dadgumit, come tee-tee or high water. Or high tee-tee, heaven forbid.

OH MY SWEET GOODNESS there’s no turning back, is there?

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  1. My son is only 2 days from turning one and I am already freaking out about the potty training. I have heard so many things to try…my mom told me to put Cheerio’s in the toilet and tell him to aim for those. She also told me to tell him to “make bubbles”. This is, of course, a way down the road but I need to mentally prepare myself!

  2. Potty training and chocolate… what an interesting comment. Too bad my litte one has big sisters who feed him chocolate and treats without my knowledge way too often for that to work!

    Have fun!

  3. Merritt says:

    Hang in there…better days are coming. And I’m not trying to tell you what to do (I promise) but tomorrow when you do go out, please don’t get nervous and put him in pullups or diapers. Let him wear underwear so he knows this is for real, home or not. Just be sure to bring a change of clothing and a grocery bag for wet clothes. Good luck! There plenty of public restrooms. Believe me…I have been to every one of them in the Jackson Metro area!

  4. Good luck with the outing, and be sure to take the Chlorox wipes for when Alex tries to become one with the porcelain throne, hee hee. ;)

    On a more positive note: If he’s already gone all day without an accident, you’re probably on the homestretch of Potty-Palooza ’06. He may have a few relapses, but he’s got the general idea now. :)

  5. Krissy – yes. Start the mental preparation now. :-) But really, it’s not THAT bad – I’m just stir crazy, which magnifies everything for me.

    Laura – there are some benefits to only having one child…chief among them the fact that I am the sole purveyor of treats. :-)

    Merritt – I would have NEVER thought to take a sack for wet clothes. But now I see how that would be very important. So thanks for the tip, and I’m trying not to get grossed out by thinking of a sack of wet clothes sitting in my car in the middle of summer.

    And Diane – I would have NEVER thought to take my ever-diminishing supply of Clorox wipes with me. But YES, absolutely – they’re necessary.

    Is it bad that the whole concept of my toddler using a public restroom grosses me out just a little bit? Can I take some SCALDING HOT WATER, too? To disinfect the areas AROUND the commode?

    I’ll say this: if Sister were with me tomorrow, she would definitely help me eradicate all the germs. YEWWWWWW.

  6. You may not want to try this, but when my girls were little and we were traveling, I took their potty chair with us. We had a van, so there was plenty of room inside for them to use our own potty rather than a public toilet. We took it camping, too.

  7. I am the Mama of 25 month old triplets & I am scared to death at the thought of potty training them. Really, I might let them wait until they are 5. Really! Reading your adventure has made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing!

  8. I have so been there. When I potty trained Caleb we drank soft drinks and cool-aid and ate skittles until he peed a rainbow.

    And we should probably be there again. Elise comes up now and says, “Poopie mommy”. When she does this I tell her in a very patient but insistent tone to say, “Poopie, daddy.” It works!

  9. When I think back on these days, many moons ago, there are lots of black holes. Mind is just blank. But potty training memories are still vivid. I’d strap the potty chair to my back and take it everywhere! At home, try leaving a trail of M&M’s from every single point in your house that leads to the toilet. Public restrooms. Very scary. :-)

  10. Melanie says:

    Will share something a dear friend told me once-“Don’t worry. He won’t go to first grade with a bottle or diapers.”

  11. Sarah always used to tell me when we were going through this kind of stuff with Reia, “When she’s five you won’t be dealing with xyz anymore.” She was right!

  12. Did you read Leslie’s comments? Poopie daddy? That’s brilliant! Gray isn’t quite there yet; I think I’m just going to let Caiden potty train him. It’s too much work for me to tackle. And yes, the isolation will kill you. I’ll email you what we did when Caiden finally figured it out; it’s too long to leave here! But I promise you’ll laugh. :)