The Fine Art Of Marital Compromise

A couple of weeks ago, Alex and I went to Mississippi for the weekend. D. was planning to go with us, but several days before we left he sent me an email with the following subject line: “WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS?” And the email changed everything.

(sidenote: I am, by nature, a bit of a worrier. I know. I know: Worry is not of God. Fear is the opposite of faith. I know. Been there, done the Bible study, got the bookmark. But even still, learning not to FREAK OUT OVER NOTHING is a day-by-day process. And this is why, when I saw the ALL CAPS subject line, I immediately wondered if I had unintentionally withheld Critical Knowledge from my husband. I have this kind of reaction all the time; for example, if you were to walk up to me and say, “Do you know what I heard?” my first (internal) reaction would be to think that SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAS HAPPENED, even if all you wanted to tell me is that diet Coke 12-packs are on sale 4 for $10 at Walmart, and if that’s the case then LET’S GET GOING, PEOPLE, BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME SHOPPING TO DO.)

As it turned out, what no one had told my husband was that there was an Apple Store opening in our town that same weekend. Approximately five minutes from our house. And somehow we missed the announcement that it was happening, despite the fact that D. has a love for All Things Apple that transcends any rational human behavior, despite the fact that he listens to podcast after podcast about the latest Mac developments, the evaluations of said developments and the criticisms of said evaluations. He refers to Steve Jobs as either “Steve” or “Jobs” – as if they are friends who occasionally play racquetball together – and when Steve Jobs gives a keynote speech to announce new products, my sweet husband watches it live on the computer.

So given all of that, an Apple Store opening near our house was basically equivalent to what it would be like for me if there were a fancy new SuperTarget in our area that, in addition to having a Starbucks (as ours does), also contained a TJ Maxx, a Steinmart, a Popeye’s fried chicken, and a large on-site gospel choir that sang nothing but old hymns all day every day. Oh, and if Chris Tomlin and Watermark filled in for the gospel choir when they needed a break. And then if Christy Nockels wanted to drink Starbucks and shop with me afterwards.

Which is a very roundabout way of saying that D. did not join us on our trip to Mississippi. And while we definitely missed his company, I could not deprive him of the opportunity to be at the Grand Opening of the Apple Store, just as he would never deprive me of the chance to drink coffee and shop with Christy Nockels, because THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT TO US.

We’re in it for the long haul, y’all.

In sickness, in health. For better, for worse. And in the event of once-in-a-lifetime grand opening celebrations.

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  1. Going to the apple store is usually Terry’s daddy/daughter date with the girls. And then to Starbucks. He’s obviously grooming them for excellence.

    Also, we just bought Apple TV. He’s trying to get me to ditch the dish. I’m not sure I can live with no HGTV or Food Network. So, at the moment we have both. We’ll see what happens when we get into the house! Have a great Friday friend. =)

  2. Tammy H says:

    BooMama – If you listened to Rick and Bubba, you would have known it was opening. (That is where I get all of my late breaking news.) :)

  3. suzanne says:

    Well, if that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is………but sure enough– knowing, and understanding what’s important to one another is indeed important and shows love in bountiful ways. My husband would NEVER pine for a grand opening, but a golf tournament on tv, or some other such fine event, well, I’d venture to say he’d go to lengths to absorb it. As for me, retail therapy, especially with fine companions–I”M there!
    Have a great weekend…I’m actually coming to your state to see my son. I’ll wave as we fly over!

  4. Oh girl – we have that kind of compromising in my hosue all the time. But if the truth be known, not sure if the truth should be known all the time, I am not always the best at letting it be… I love when people have a love for something so much that they are willing to let others stuff go. I am that way about a Beth Moore conference or seeing her on TV or somethign such as that. I am that way about cookies from the Great American COokie Factory – I will cut shopping short just to drop by there on my way home so that i can still be on time! For my husband it is basketball, playing or watching. or fishing or boating or ………..
    Marriage is so much fun!!! Love it!

  5. My DH, whom I affectionately refer to as Gadget Man, has been a Fan o’ Apple since the early ’80’s. His full time job is (and has always been) administrating the medical practice of his father (an eye surgeon).

    Since November ’06, Gadget Man has been moonlighting as a Mac Specialist at our local Apple Store. The little bit of extra $$ is okay, but the look of sheer joy on his face when he’s heading in to the store to watch a live podcast of Jobs with his other MacHead Techno Bros is priceless.

    I tell people that he goes there to get paid for what he’d being doing during those hours anyway: standing in the Apple Store talking to anyone who’d hold still long enough about AppleMaciPodishness and all the fabulosity therein.

    We’ve taken considerable detours on car trips to visit Apple Stores in other states. Because God loves me and wants me to be happy, Apple Stores are in malls with J.Jill’s and Coach stores and Mrs. Field’s Cookies. Can you feel the love?

  6. Agape love in action. :-P

  7. You let me know when that SuperTarget opens and Gulley and I will drive there in our Trailblazers to drink coffee with you and your good friend Nockels.

  8. I’m pretty sure that my husband and your husband are twins separated at birth.

  9. The love of a wife! :)

  10. The sad part of this is… when you said he loves Apples… i thought you meant apples, like the fruit… and you were going to have an apple orchard with a cool store… and I umm… started to get excited. But then I thought, not many men get that excited about apples, they’re more into gadgets… and then ohhhhh, she means THAT kind of Apple.

    Ugh. I gotta get off the farm more.

  11. Please tell me he didn’t camp out like some others in our fair city did!!! I also had a friend that was there when it opened.

    Speaking of old hymns, have you heard Alan Jackson’s CD with old hymns? I love it!

  12. We buy apples at Publix, and we went to their Grand Opening, too.

  13. Your husband and my husband would be friends! This is just too funny. What a sweet wife you are.

  14. Ah yes, but WHAT DID HE BUY??????? If he just went to the opening and did not buy anything, then that is a TRUE devotee!

  15. I saw a picture of the store on opening day. You would have thought they were giving away hundred dollar bills in there! My dh is making me put an apple sticker on our new car. So, I feel ya’!

  16. What a great post!!!!

  17. If I’d known D was into Apple, I could have mentioned it. *You have probably said it 100 times and me just let it go over my head* I read James Spann’s weather blog almost daily and he and Brian Peters are HUGE Apple lovers!!!

  18. That is sacrifice if I have ever seen it. :) A good compromise IMO.


  19. That’s pretty funny! My husband visited an Apple store recently in Utah on a business trip and thought it was the best thing ever! I didn’t really get it but I acted happy for him :-)

  20. “…Been there, done the Bible study, got the bookmark.”

    WHAT?? SHUT IT! You have the “BOOKMARK?”


  21. Gotta love an Apple lover. Clearly, you married well. Yesterday I was at drama practice (your favorite thing!) when one of the teens in the tech booth saw my ipod (I was listening to Alicia Keys) and said, “Oh that’s one of thos old ipods that had the buttons. Cool!” It was like I was placing a call on a rotary phone or something. I think it’s two years old, for Pete’s sake!

  22. Tell me about it. My husband has been in retail ever since I met him in 1984. He now works at Best Buy. It is a CANDY STORE for him. We have the best I mean the best of everythng re: electronics.

    Personally I couldn’t give a flip. I just figured out how to work the TV after 8 months.

    So you have a new Apple Store coming to your neighborhood. :)

  23. It’s funny that you say you immediatly thought of the bad stuff… I just blogged about that!

    That’s the description of me to a T.

    Have fun drinking Starbucks. Wish I was there.

  24. But people, don’t ya’ll understand the magnitude of this sort of thing? I mean c’mon, it’s an APPLE STORE! With all of the shiny new Apple thingys that you can actually see and touch and play with! D and I share the same illness when it comes to these sort of things. And that’s reason # 732 why he’s my best friend.

  25. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read this. OH MY WORD!

  26. Wooooooo, BooDaddy! Yeah!

    The Grand Lunar and I spent one anniversary date 2 hours south of here so that we could be at our closest Apple Store’s Grand Opening Morning and get the free T-shirt and marvel over the genius of Steve Jobs. And my husband watches all the Apple Announcements live on the internet, too, and emails the critical facts to me, kind of like live blogging, only just for me. And then downloads it later for me to watch.

    Ahhhh, I love my nerd.

  27. I understand–I had to stand in 16 degree weather in New York City so Chris could take a picture of me with the see-through Apple store in Manhattan in the background. You let me know if D needs me to send a copy to you :)

  28. Hmm, that sounds very much like my wonderful husband. :-) When we moved to our new town he was so excited about visiting the Apple Store and knowing it was only about 15 minutes from our house!

  29. Oh I can so relate. We love our men and sometimes just have to smile inwardly at their crazy obsessions. But don’t let him catch you comparing APPLE to anything as mundane as Target or Steinmart because it is just not the same thing. LOL

  30. Now THAT is some true love right there. And also some really good wife skills. Great job Boomama.