I Now Return To My Usual Brand Of Nothing

First of all, I am seriously considering shutting down the writing (“WRITING”) side of the blawg and focusing instead on giving away household appliances.

It’ll be sort of like “The Price Is Right,” only every game will involve either diet Coke, fried chicken or reality television.

Come to think of it, maybe we should just all sit on a stage and eat fried chicken and drink diet Coke while reality television plays in the background and I click repeatedly on random.org to give away washers and Swiffer Wet Jets and dryers and so forth and so on.

Good. We have a plan. I’m glad that’s settled.

Second of all, this morning I went to get my shots for the Uganda trip, and quite frankly it is a wonder I even made it to my appointment. I was running late – something I hate WITH THE PASSION OF ONE MILLION FIERY SUNS – and my appointment was downtown, which might not seem like any sort of impediment to you, but oh, if you have ever ridden in a car with me, you know that going downtown is no fun at all.

You see, I tend to get a little bit turned around when I’m downtown. In fact, if you ever need to get downtown in a hurry, you’d be better off with a drunk, blindfolded donkey as your mode of transportation than you would with me behind the wheel.

I guess I just get nervous because there are A LOT OF MOVING CARS in a downtown area, y’all. Not to mention street signs and red lights. And pedestrians.

So I finally got to the travel clinic twenty-five minutes late (picture my big ole noggin, hanging in shame), and thankfully the nurse waited on me even though I had completely disrupted her lunch hour with all my tardy lateness.

Did I mention that I wasn’t on time?

When I finally sat down in the Nurse Jeanette’s office, we talked a little bit about where I was going and what vaccinations I’d need. She gave me all my instructions for my prescriptions, and then she asked if I was going to Uganda with a group.

When I told her yes, that I was going with Compassion International, she asked what I’d be doing when I got there.

[this is my attempt at replicating the awkward silence that followed her question]

[continued awkwardness]

[yay, even more awkwardness]

“Well,” I said, as I wriggled in my chair, “I’m going to see some of the relief work that’s going on over there so that then I can, um, wr-, wri-, write about it.”

I did, y’all. I totally used the W- word. WITH A STRANGER.

And then she said, “Oh? What kind of publication will you be writing for?”

At this point I wanted to ask her if THE WALLS WERE CLOSING IN ON HER, TOO, but instead I took a deep breath and said, “Well, have you ever heard of something called a blog? BecauseIhaveablog. Andthat’swhereI’llbewriting.”

If I had to guess what my heart rate was at that moment, I’d say it was an easy 320 beats per minute.

Honestly, it’s a wonder I continued to breathe.

But Nurse Jeanette and I actually ended up having a lovely conversation about faith and God’s provision, and at one point she actually used the tip of a needle to illustrate our smallness in relation to God’s vastness. I totally got goosebumps, and while I guess it’s feasible that the goosebumps were from the realization that THE NEEDLE, IT WILL SOON BE PUNCTURING MY DELTOID MUSCLE, I like to think it’s because Nurse Jeanette and I were having ourselves some church right there in the travel division of the health department.

When we finished with all our vaccination business, Nurse Jeanette recited a lovely blessing and pretty much made my day. Which is saying something considering that she was the same person who’d just given me four shots. With pointy needles.

And while I have vowed that I am not going to whine about the shots, because HEY, BIG DEAL, WOMAN, YOU’RE GROWN, SO DEAL, I would just like to say that, well, “YEEEEEEOW.”

And that is all.

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  1. Why didn’t you call me? I would have gladly driven from Nashville to take you to town. Blindfolded and in reverse, I might add.

    Mama always said that I got my sense of direction from Daddy. :)

  2. I am sooo glad you willbewritingaboutitonyourblog.
    I’ll be reading.
    and praying for you.
    sorry about the shots.

  3. I absolutely love love love when “church” happens in the most random of places.

  4. Sweet fancy Moses, girl. I went to your Oreck post to see how many people entered. When I saw it had reached the bajillions, I thought- what the heck, I’ll enter too. Until the sheer number of comments about shut down my computer. Twice. I had no idea people loved to vacuum so much!

    So excited for you and your trip. Can’t wait to see how God is going to use you and mold you!

    My whole fam is heading to Mexico this summer for a mission trip. My kids can’t wait. I don’t believe I have to get anything stuck in my deltoid muscle, though. Do I really have a deltoid muscle?

  5. do you really know what a deltoid muscle is? i’m very impressed. i hope you won’t give up the “writing” part of the blog and turn it into the price is right because i’ll really miss all the parenthesis and stuff.

  6. excited to meet you on the trip…i am getting shot up tomorrow. i am super nervous about the needles too (even though i have a few tats!) tat needles are tiny. medical needles are bigger than i am!!! los, heather and i are blogging about it on monday…

  7. Oh BooMama – Driving on 280 does the same thing to me. It must be traveled to make my way to Auburn, but……… Fridays and 5 o’clock traffic must be avoided, or someone else must drive! I can’t wait to read ALL of your writings from Uganda. :)

  8. I am so not a fan of needles either. I do good to get my kids in. I always wanted a tattoo, but never got past the needle. I figured if I went in for one, it would never be more than a dot. Would be all I could handle! Can’t wit to read about the trip!

  9. Well, now that you’ve gotten the shots- you’ll just have to go on LOTS OF EXCITING TRIPS!!! so that you can keep blogging about them…

    And we’ll keep reading.

    Oh and you could do an occasional giveaway, but that’s not why we all come here.

    Really. (Unless I happen to win this time, in which case you should totally do more giveaways!)

  10. Definitely don’t give up the writing portion of your blawg…’cause if you did, you wouldn’t be able to complete your mission in Uganda!

    Yeah, I know – I’m brilliant at stating the obvious. ;-)

  11. LOL…reminds me of my friend who loved going places with me because “it’s always an adventure.” umm…yeah….I feel your pain.

    I too love those little moments when you can share your faith and have a great conversation…those are the moments that help fill up your “spiritual gas tank.” Sorry it came with pain!

  12. I feel your pain – driving downtown is terrifying, but not as terrifying as shots are, especially because sometimes shots make your whole arm ache for days. Or at least they make MY whole arm ache…

  13. I’m so jealous! My sponsor child is in Uganda…do you have room in your suitcase for me? :)

  14. I’m looking forward to reading about it! Very neat!

  15. “BecauseIhaveablog. Andthat’swhereI’llbewriting.” hilarious.

    If I ever have the nerve to tell some real people (because we are all so not real) about my blog, you can usually see the big WHY? floating above their heads, even in it remains unsaid.

    Well done for being a brave BooMama with the pointy sharp things. Give yourself an “I’ve been beave” sticker.

  16. Sorry about the typo – a brave sticker may be more appropriate.

  17. I am so thrilled the Lord has opened this door of opportunity. It is truly a God thing and we all have front row seats to watch what God is going to do with it!! I will be praying for you, sista!

  18. It’s not just the moving cars – the streets in your city are so NARROW. It’s like watching arteriosclerosis happen.

  19. The beauty of God is that you never know where a blog will take you or what random place church will happen!

  20. Maybe you should have taken your diet coke, fried chicken and laptop with you while you were getting your shot. You would have had the distraction of all those household appliances! (but then you would have missed Nurse Jeanette’s blessing so I don’t guess it was a fair trade.)

  21. OK, I love the phrase “Sweet Fancy Moses” and I’m going to start using it all the time. Even in inappropriate situations. At work: “Well, Sweet Fancy Moses, would you like paper or plastic?” (I’m a cashier at A Major Health Food Store) :)

    Oh, and I guess four shots with a pointy needle is better than four shots with a really dull needle, right? Hey, I’m always there to look on the bright side!

    *sigh* Every time I read your blog I want to come and move next door so I can have you over for coffee and laugh and laugh and laugh with you! Thanks for all your bloggity goodness!

  22. BooMaMa is becoming a hero of the faith – you were called and are being sent – and most amazing of all (showing true faith and divine intervention in a human’s life) are GOING! The driving in downtown, needles and stinging, bump raising shots are parts of getting ready -so you can GO and do something truly blessed – can you tell I’m thrilled beyond measure about how wonderful this experience will be and that we your humble readership will get to read about your surprise,excitement,tears,sweat,and whatever emotions might move through you on this adventure.
    End of sermonette.

  23. Don’t you just love how Jesus shows up in unexpected places? And you thought that nurse lady was named Jeanette :-P Thanks for sharing your story…you are going to be so touched and changed by your trip…honestly, I can’t wait to hear all about it!

  24. aw, I love when random church occurs in random places. See? God is just putting all kinds of people in your path to make you feel comfortable :)

  25. I hate needles too. They make me weak in the knees. And I love that you guys had church RIGHT THERE IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE with needles and everything.

    And that is funny that you were embarassed to talk about your BLAWG. I kind of hate to let locals know about mine (not that it is that popular mind you – not anywhere near Boo Mama status of course!!) but then I wouold be worried if I talked about someone in my town, they would find out!! How sad is that?

    (plus the whole privacy issue thing…)

    Have a great day Boo Mama!!! And I too am directionally challenged – just so ya know!

  26. Dear BooMama, Please come visit us here in Northern Virginia sometime. I will take you to DC and put you on Dupont Circle and that will make you eternally greatful for downtown. I have learned never to actually DRIVE in DC. I take the metro and live to tell about it.

    Sorry about your deltoid. I’ll be even sorrier tomorrow when it hurts like the dickens. Console yourself with fried chicken and diet Coke.

  27. So how are you feeling? I was a little nervous for you because word on the street has it that the yellow fever shot can make ya feel like “death on a cracker.” Hopin’ (for YOUR sake) that’s not the case. :-(

  28. I went to Honduras in November and Iwroteaboutitonmyblog. I met a magazine editor while I was there and she linkedtomyblog. I got hits from all over there for a while!

    You’ll be blessed.

  29. Jeannette says:

    I have a friend who is over in Uganda right now. She is helping construct two orpanages. She will be there until January 24th. Please help keep her and the team lifted up in prayer.

    Sweet Fancy Moses, do you know how close that is to Kenya?!?!

  30. And, there are too many one way streets downtown (here that is.) I just realized I don’t know where you’re from. Anyway, God’s blessings to you girl. I’m glad you’ll be blogging and letting us know what it’s all about.

    Oh, and great courage on the W-word. I used to have trouble saying it too.

  31. Oh precious Sophie, the things we go through on the path of God’s will. So glad you had an unexpected blessing at the most unexpected of places.

    Hope your owies are better today.

    I had to take all three of my sweeties for shots yesterday to bring them up to date for being in school now, so I know all about exposing your deltoid muscle for the pointy needle.

    God has great plans for you, and I can’t wait to read all about it, after you writeitallinyourblog.

    Sending a hug your way.

  32. Let me just say for the record how jealous and excited I am for you guys!! I spent most of my high school years in Nigeria. My parents were missionaries there. And yes, a lot are notorious for their scamming abilities. :) I haven’t had an opportunity to go back since I graduated and I would love to take my husband and children to see the country that made such and an impact on the person I am today. One little piece of advice that I gave to Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer is this. You will be somewhat prepared for what you will see and hear. But no one will prepare you for what you will smell.
    Africa is distinct in its smell. And I’m not even talking oder…just smell. The hot dust, the dryness. and the people. It is worlds different. I’m sure Uganda smells different than Nigeria but I’m sure that it will be surprising.
    Just a tiny heads up to be prepared….and please take a deep wiff for me. I really do miss it.

  33. Can’t wait to read all about your trip! Have a great time!

  34. Well. So, you’re saying this feeling a bit shameful about the blogging, and the reading other people’s blogs, and all, it doesn’t go away? At all? Even when you have half a billion people reading your blog (or somewhere in that neighborhood)? Hmmm. Maybe there’s a good reason I haven’t told anybody who knows me that I’ve started blogging yet. Or maybe I’m just Southern and the feeling a bit shameful (which starts, of course, with wearing white or patent leather After Labor Day) is just in the genes. You think?
    Praying blessings on your trip!

  35. Boomama, you HAVE to continue to write and not just give giveaways, what would I do every day if I couldn’t laugh and enjoy your writing? Thanks!

  36. Emma Kate says:

    Oh my sweet friend!!! My heart overflows! Who would have EVER in a million years — only God!! I was praying for a “Jeanette”. Thank you Lord for sending her!!!

  37. What a wonderful event:) Lateness, confusion, pointy needles and all:) God is definitley behind you on this trip!

    BTW, I don’t like driving in downtown areas either and avoid it whenever possible.

  38. AMEN! That is awesome.

    (The prayer and faith sharing. Not the shots.)

  39. can’t WAIT to hear what in the world you’re gonna have to say about Uganda….

    and praise Him for bringing you to church in a Nurse’s office!!!

  40. I have to say, you made a pretty touchy morning sound like more fun! I just love reading your blog and you nearly always start my day off with a giggle!
    Sorry about the shots, girlfriend…
    HUGS, bj

  41. Look at you, you did it! I’m so proud! And the “writing”? Girl, you just made me laugh and cry all in the course of 1 1/2 minutes. I’d call that Writing! Of course, you do always have the Game Show idea to fall back upon if you need it. I mean afterall, you had like OVER A THOUSAND COMMENTS on that vaccum giveaway! I was Highly impressed!

  42. ISN’T GOD WONDERFUL! Just wonderful. I read this and laughed ( of course), but was moved by the way the Holy Spirit works in our lives.

  43. I think I feel better knowing that you’ve lived here awhile and are still intimidated by downtown. I lived in DC, for crying out loud, but now I never leave the 280 corridor and the thought of venturing downtown by myself gives me the willies. I mean, how many 16th streets can there possibly be? Millions, by my count. Way more complicated than DC.

  44. um, no to the stopping of the writing. possible, to the on-stage-chicken-giveaway-show. yay, for the unexpected churchy action. awww, for the needles. :)

  45. I, too, do not like the downtown area. And I live in an area with a particularly small downtown. It’s just all the signs and having to pay attention. Oh yeah, there are pedestrians too.

    I also don’t like needles. I feel your pain, figuratively, of course. I hope you don’t get too sore (or sick) from your shots.

    Can’t wait to hear about your trip to Uganda. Have a great time!

  46. Oh goodness, I’m glad you had a nice nurse. When I went to get one of my shots before going to Cambodia in college, the nurse didn’t want to give me the shot and said, “Do you know what the side effect of this shot is? DEATH!”

  47. Yes, indeedy, little miss…you have you a GodStop moment!


  48. I also hate to be late.I ALWAYS get lost downtown too….don’t forget all those crazy one way streets. Sorry about the shots but at least they are OVER! Have a fabulous weekend!

  49. So glad you get to go! We were supposed to go to Kenya next week. Sadly, our trip has been postponed. But I understand the shots and getting ready. And I just have to say it was either the yellow fever or polio booster that made my arm hurt for SEVERAL days! Hope yours heals quickly!

  50. So cool that you had a sweet nurse with chich to share your upcoming ministry. It is neat when random church can happen anywhere, I had church just yesterday with a couple of nice Bible scholars while waiting in line for groceries.
    Have a blessed day.

  51. I love that! They ask HARD questions and then want to check your blood pressure and pulse…do they not cover this issue in training!?

  52. ‘Sounds like a Revolution goin’ on right in the nurse station! WooHoo! Thank You Jesus!

    And I laughed at the drunk donkey…still am :) Hee hee Obviously, he is not a Baptist donkey. Hee hee!

  53. I’m impressed that you actually used the “writing” word!!!

    Can’t wait to read all about your trip.

  54. Oh sweet heavenly days I am seven, SEVEN posts behind on your blog. I’m so excited about your trip. Think of me while I toil away here with kids who are currently making my head want to explode. Because English? Not the easiest language to learn to write or read or speak for that matter. Especially from someone who is grammatically incorrect the majority of the time. I think. Did I metion it’s Friday and I just wanted to say HI!?


  55. Yellow fever’s the worst. Be sure you drink lots of water, because it will keep hurting if you don’t.

  56. The part about the walls closing in her too was the best!!! Don’t you just love that feeling??!!!

    We are so excited for you and Shannon.
    Happy Friday!

  57. Babydoll, that is the BEST kind of church service…I’m just wonderin’ if y’all broke into song ;).

    Downtown driving…**shivers**…almost as bad as pointy needles :/


  58. I hate to be late and I HATE driving downtown the most! I most always get turned around. I have a new car with the navigation, but haven’t been downtown to use it….hoping I don’t ever have to…I don’t like it that much!!!

    P.S. Don’t even joke about not blogging…THAT’S NOT EVEN funny!! :)

  59. The W word. Love it.

  60. There is a really sweet and touching moment in this post, but the part that will stick with me is the phrase “a drunk, blindfolded donkey” because…well, because it made me laugh out loud sitting here at my computer alone.

  61. You are most definitely a writer. I love reading your latest posts rather than the “crime report” on the online newspaper!! Can’t wait to read your “report”!!!

  62. I believe I have driven in your downtown and I will confirm that it is indeed the most confusing downtown in all the galaxy.

    The worst shot I ever got was the day before Sean was born, the steroid injection in MY QUADRICEPT! that the nurse plunged in like a dagger while I was on a PHONE CALL. And she did not even have the courtesty to offer a blessing as did Nurse Janette, but let me tell you I blessed real good. That tramp.

  63. Hello from Oklahoma!! I started listening to your podcast right after c-mas. I just love it.

    Ok how do you get to Big Momma’s blog. I am having problems finding it.

    Anyway I love to read your blog now b/c I can hear your southern talk as I am reading.
    Oh you are so funny, I just love how ya’ll get tickled at each other and have a grand time.
    The funniest thing about listening is that most of the time I get the giggles too and my son…Thomas who is 3 will say Momma what is funny? I have problems stopping myself form laughing to tell hims its my ipod. Oh thanks for the laughs.

    Question:::Did you ever tell us how Beth was at the conference and how many times ya’ll made eye contact?

  64. I thought I heard a distant “YEEEEEOW” today!

    I am excited for you and Shannon. What an amazing opportunity.

  65. I feel for you when it comes to that downtown driving–my birth center was in downtown San Diego and I wasn’t too keen on all the one-way driving, itty bitty streets and half a zillion cars and people everywhere. Nor was I too keen on being in the passenger seat with broken water and strong contractions while my husband, less familiar with downtown than even I was, tried to QUICKLY maneuver our way to the birth center.

    And my hubby feels your pain, quite literally, when it comes to the shots… he’s been getting the full round of those in prep for his very soon departure to Another Sandy Spot. His arm was swollen for a week. It gives me the heebie geebies. Hope you’re doing okay today…

  66. Oh BooMama – I have the very same “I HATE HATE HATE HATE TO BE LATE” problem. I feel your pain at being 25 minutes late…

    The other sisters tease me because 20 minutes before prayer I will say – “its almost time for chapel I better go” (and I only have to go down the hall and down two flights of stairs and I am there). Still… I think that promptness follows close on the heels of cleaniness when it comes to being close to godliness.

    I am eager to hear about your adventures in Africa on theblogyouwrite :)
    Sister Lynn

  67. I got all needled up too, giving blood at the OB’s office. And no blessing either, although I did get my own set of chillbumps when the doctor indicated she felt more of me than should be there and began quite recklessly throwing around the word “twins.” Fortunately she disproved her own theory very shortly after her initial postulation, and I was able to exhale again before there was actual faintage.

    Your game show idea sounds like a surefire smash hit to me and I’ll volunteer to be among the first contestants. “I’ll take a thigh and a *BRAND NEW CAR*, please, Wink. I mean BooMama!”

  68. my husband is hoping to go to Africa sometime this year.

    It’s cause he’s the one who can handle vaccination needles.

    Nah, not really… it’s ’cause he’d be nuts when I got back (what with the FOURKIDSANDALL!!!!!)


  69. strawberry rose says:

    I am right there with you with hating being late. My family gets to hear “Let’s get in the car. Let’s GET IN THE CAR AND GO.” And by the way, Antique Mommy, you are such a delicate flower.

  70. I know I am just repeating what a million and two have already written, but I love your randomness and chit chat and you have to remember your writing is a gift, blog or not. I like to think you remind me of me, but even more wordy, hahaha. I could not help but notice your first comment said Nashville, we live close to there in Ft. Campbell.

  71. What a fantastic opportunity! Tell us how you were chosen?

    I worked with the underprivileged in Central America and Ukraine. Africa so needs our help.


  72. I had me some church at the orthodontist’s office the other day, while waiting for my son to cost us thousands of dollars in one fell swoop. What is a fell swoop anyway?
    It was very cool. Not the money leaving part–the church part.

  73. DON’T STOP WRITING, PLEASE!!!!!! I’m excited about your trip to Uganda. We had friends that were missionaries there for a year. Can’t want to READ about that experience. I am assuming your are going and David and Alex are staying home, right?

  74. Hey- if you saw a dirty white minivan having a wreck on the expressway while you were on the way to get your shots, well, that was me. What was that guy doing driving in my blind spot??

    And after i got my shots for Africa, I felt the urge to go find a puddle around say 8th ave north and 24th street and just rub around in it to PROVE how innoculated and protected I was! I couldn’t lift my arm in Jazzercise for a week!

  75. I thought I was the only one who got funny looks when I reveal that I am a blogger!
    I am so proud of you and your opportunity to tell the world about Africa! You will be eyes and ears for us. We will be prayer warriors for you.
    God Bless!

  76. Oh goodness, Sister, you sound JUST like me when it comes to downtown driving! I hate, hate, hate it! I can get lost trying to find my way back to my table in a restaurant after using the loo (unless, of course, it’s a straight shot; I’m not COMPLETELY lacking in spatial intelligence ;)), so downtown with all the traffic and stop lights and one-way streets and TRAFFIC … yes, it is a trial for me. My internship site is downtown so I am thinking Jesus decided it is time for me to overcome this particular stronghold in my life. We’ll see how that goes …

  77. Donwtown’s not to bad to drive thru if you do it every workday like I do! Too funny BooMama!

  78. I hate driving downtown, too. But even worse, I hate PARKING downtown. I avoid it at all costs.