Sometimes I Understand The Animals

So about a month ago, on a total whim, we decided to buy a squirrel feeder and a bag of dried corn at the Walmarts. We have SQUIRRELS APLENTY in our yard, and we figured that if we fed them, then maybe they’d stay out of the bird feeder and quit digging up the bulbs and stop chewing on the deck chairs.

Oh, we’re very strategic.

It only took a couple of hours for the squirrels to spread the word about corn (and, apparently, for the duck hawks to overhear them). What I never, expected, though, is how entertaining the squirrels would be.

I also never expected how they would THROW DOWN on some corn.

Or the gymnastic moves they would employ to get it.

Or that the ear of corn would look like this within thirty minutes of setting it outside.

Today, though, I got a whole new surprise when I looked out the window and saw Guard Dog Squirrel. And I mean to tell you that Guard Dog Squirrel had no intention of sharing the corn with ANYBODY. In fact, I’m pretty sure that he barked.

And you know what? I feel like I can relate to Guard Dog Squirrel. Because I’ve probably had that same possessive look in my eyes when I’ve been sitting near a fresh bucket of Popeye’s.

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  1. Are you sure he’s guarding and not hung over or something?

  2. My word, what are you putting IN that corn?

    My dad has a very bizarre squirrel obsession. He and my mom go to Colorado every year, and he has taught the squirrels to come eat food out of his hands.

    Come to think of it, maybe they’re chipmunks, not squirrels. Clearly, I do not share your deep kinship with the animals if I can’t tell the difference. ;)

  3. Hmmm, I’ve heard of bird feeders and deer feeders but squirrel feeders is a first! :)
    Big Fat Mama

  4. I do agree with Marla. He looks like he ate a bit too much corn and is down for the count…

  5. That last picture made me laugh out loud! He looks trained like one you’d see in a commercial or in Christmas Vacation.

    “What’s that funny squeaky noise?” :)

  6. I adore Guard Dog Squirrel. I agree, he does have the look of someone who just pushed back from a huge Sunday dinner.

  7. Terrie says:

    I am with Marla and Tara, I think the squirrel over ate. He looks like how I feel when I have over done it with food.

    When we lived in Maryland we fed a squirrel saltine crackers so much that he began to trust us. He would eat out of our hands. There would be times he would body slam himself against the back screen door to let us know he was there and NEEDED some crackers. This squirrel was either extremely trusting or just stupid. One day he crawled over the cat that was lying in front on the screen door to get to the door. The expression on my cat was priceless. I think she was in shock and couldn’t believe what had just happen. Every year the squirrel came back. We finally moved from Maryland so we are not sure if he next tenants fed the squirrel. We did name the squirrel Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web.

  8. I’m with Shannon, what is in that corn????

  9. Oh, BooMama! I just emailed you THE FUNNIEST squirrel video … Mission Impossile. It’s hilarious – we love watching the squirrels, too. We used to save our bread crusts for them and put them on our fence.

  10. Nicole says:

    Oh those critters make quick work of corn cobs. I had some corn cobs decoratively hanging outside the house for Fall (we do that kind of thing here in the mid-west) and it was a matter of two days before 4 cobs total were not only barren but DETACHED. All that was left hanging was the dried, husks. (Not very festive for the season.) GREAT pictures, by the way!

  11. p.s. You mentioned Boden tunics in a previous post …. they are currently having a Great Big Sale on their website (up to 50% off). I tell you this not because I work for Boden, but because I am an enabler of the first order.

  12. That guard dog squirrel made me laugh! He’s funny!

  13. HAHAHAHA!!!! My favorite is guard squirrel. He’s my kinda creature.

  14. Oh dear, that is hilarious! I want to get one of those because we don’t have enough entertainment with 5 children in the house.

  15. That’s the exact look I have after I eat Japanese food!

  16. Guard Dog Squirrel! Hilarious!! This is a great idea to keep them away from the bird feeders! Did it work? Are they still attacking the bird feeders too?

  17. Guard Dog Squirrel rocks. He is all attitude. We gave one of these feeders to my father in law in the spirit “if you can’t beat them, join them”. They are funny creatures.

  18. We have ‘Charlie’ a neighborhood squirrel who hits our birdfeeder. We also have Tazer, our 85 pound German Sherpherd whose mission is to someday catch Charlie. The minute we let him outside he shoots towards the birdfeed in hopes of making his dream come true. Sometimes they have this stare down. It is spooky.

  19. I just laughed out loud at Guard Dog Squirrel. Was it you who posted a picture of a squirrel all sprawled out on the deck from the heat? I’m glad they’re entertaining… may I request a video for our viewing pleasure?!

  20. Oh my gosh!!! That is soo hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!

  21. Oh dear me! He’s a mess!
    Somebody call the doctor…cause I think he may have foundered!
    Poor dude!

  22. We have a squirrel feeder, too, but it doesn’t require nearly as much effort…hence we have very fat squirrels.

    They are so entertaining!

  23. He looks like he’s sleeping one off in his bachelor pad.

    All he needs is a hunting dog print rug. ;>)

  24. Make sure you don’t all of a sudden STOP feding them. I’ve heard too many stories of how squirrels like to “get back” at people when the food disapprears. They get into attics and homes and tear everything apart.
    Btw, have ytou seen the squirrel bungee thingys? They fly around and it’s hilarious

  25. Ohhhh! How that made me laugh!!!

  26. It looks like he’s on a three-day corncob drunk. I think he needs a pepto-popsicle.

  27. Oh dear, you might have started something you are going to have to keep up. If you stop feeding that little greedy thing, he will start chewing on your deck railing, deck, chairs, any thing he can get his little sharp teeth on. We had squirrels eat the siding off my husband’s workshop down to the plywood. They are fun to watch, but oh so destructive. They do bark. We have relocated 115 from our yard to a local park because of their chewing habits.

  28. Jenny F. says:

    One of my greatest joys of squirrel watching happened when a squirrel came to eat at one of the feeders the previous owners of my home had made. It hangs up on a tree. There are 2 small chairs surrounding a table. On the table is a nail to which you place the corn. The squirrels actually sit in the chairs to eat the corn!!!

  29. SO FUNNY! When I was little I would “name” the squirrels outside my window.Whenever we were out I would point one out climbing up a tree or crossing the street “there goes so in so” I would call from the back seat of the car. :)


  30. As cute as the guard dog squirrel is, I have to agree with Tee… you may want to consider moving the feeder! We had several squirrels in our backyard that we just loved growing up.. At first we were sad when one disappeared… until my parents spent thousands to repair plumbing problems only to find out it was a squirrel that was clogging up the pipes! They can get in your attic and do major damage to your wires too! Just feel like you need to be warned before you become too attached!!

  31. Leslie says:


  32. Hey Soph. Are you sure the guard dog squirrel is breathing? Cause that may be a case of death by overeating. Or excitement.


  33. Try putting safflower seeds in the bird feeder. The squirrels will stay away.

  34. My parents call my three-year-old, Sophie, The Squirrel Whisperer.

    Apparently she has a gift for getting up close and personal with squirrels unlike. I’ve never seen anything like it.

    But I’m not sure about guard dog squirrel.

  35. Thanks for the pictures! That feeder is a LOT different than the one I looked at at the Home Depot. The guard dog squirrel was too cute.

  36. Ohlookaduck says:

    And I thought it was the effect of that Southern heat.
    *Cute* picture! I think you’ve got a a second career happening…

  37. Hahaha, Guard Dog Squirrel is similar to Squirrel Rug Squirrel! Very flat.

  38. Well he is just a delightful little guy, isn’t he?

  39. I’ve never seen a little squirrel lay down so flat like that before; in fact, I never thought they could I guess! Even though he’s intense about his corn, he’s pretty cute.

  40. lavonda says:

    this post just made my day!
    they are SO cute.

  41. I was wondering if anyone had mentioned how destructive they can be and I see someone has. You have to watch it…they are cute to watch, but then they do get greedy…and honory!! :)

  42. Love that last picture…how funny!

  43. Thats how I look after I finish my tub of icecream!!!

  44. Your squirrels are funny and really cute. I just love how that guy is lying on his side with one eye open.

  45. LOL OH my gosh – I just busted out laughing at the guard dog squirrel and your comment that he ‘barked’….. That’s awesome. I vividly remember as a child my grandpa getting so mad that squirrel’s were getting into his bird feeder that he put together some crazy contraption to keep them it. It was quite funny (and ugly) but it worked and the birds actually had food when the went looking.

  46. When we lived in Dallas, there was a squirrel doing that same thing in one of our trees. I was convinced it was dead because it set like that for HOURS. It finally moved and consequently scared the crap out of me because I was completely obsessed. Just thought I’d let you know I’ve seen that look before. Creepy.

  47. That last picture? Hilarious. Thank you.

  48. The little fella looks plumb tuckered out! I totally understand that feeling…

    We are having polished baked beans, corn on the cob, fresh peaches and Chris is making BBQ’ed ribs for the 4th.

    ‘Hope you have a splendid weekend. sweet friend!

  49. Jeannette says:

    are you sure you should be feeding those squirrels that type of corn? or use the corn for your homemade still? he looks drunk to me. he shoulld be on the lookout for that big hawk

  50. So funny! We don’t have tons of squirrels out where we live, so that would be such a treat to watch.

  51. That is a freaking hilarious post. It brought on the dreaded Geezer Laugh and made me snort! Do it again. But for the record, I think maybe that corn is a little fermented from the look of that squirrel in the last picture. You should hang that on the wall with a caption under it “After the corn squeezins”

  52. We had a squirrel who threw acorns at us if we were outside in “his” territory. He tormented our dogs and threw twigs and acorns at them as well, which of course riled them up and made them bark more. There’s nothing like trying to plant a few begonias and being pelted with acorns ; ) Well, the cat next door eventually sent the squirrel to be with Jesus, and I guess he knew he was giving the squirrel his come-uppins’ because he left the body on our front porch. Yea, not a fun surprise package on the front porch at all. At.all!

  53. These photos are priceless. I am telling you, I would use that last one on my Christmas card.