An Oversized Tea Cozy Might Also Work

I’ve mentioned before that my mama is the queen of form over function. She likes for everything on display in her house to be aesthetically pleasing, which is precisely why she keeps all the bed pillows in a closet and not on the beds.

It’s also why she is constantly looking for new and inventive ways to hide Daddy’s computer. What with all those unseemly cords, you understand.

So when D and I bought the new-to-us elliptical motion machine last week, I have to confess that the part of me that shares my mama’s decorative gene pool desperately wanted to figure out a way to make everything pretty, to figure out how to cleverly disguise the six foot-long black steel contraption that is now taking up residence in our home. I even thought about putting the elliptical in another bedroom, but since we tend to have a good bit of company, it seemed silly to tear apart one of the extra bedrooms when there was plenty of room in ours.

After a couple of days of considering all of the possibilities, I made a final decision. The best place for the elliptical really is in a corner of the master bedroom. It would only require moving one little piece of furniture, so for the most part it would be a super-easy transition. It was the right thing to do.


Once we got everything moved, I walked in our room and felt just the slightest sense of hesitation. Because, well, DADGUM. The elliptical is just so, you know, big. And imposing. And not made of wood. And not capable of displaying family photographs or stacks of favorite books.

(sidenote: That big thing on the wall to the right is the previous owners’ headboard for their bed frame. We’ve thought about removing it, but it’s so securely attached that the whole wall would come down with it. And that is why I try to pretend like it’s a decorative feature and not an annoyance, though sometimes it definitely feels more like that last thing.)

After we adjusted the angle of the elliptical a little bit and scooted it as far back into the corner as we could, I realized that I was just going to have to make my peace with it. It’s not the most attractive accent piece in our room, but it’s hopefully going to help me to feel better.

So as I stood there and stared at it and vowed that I wouldn’t let it rob me of my decorative mojo, D apparently picked up on the fact that I was hesistant. He knows how much I like for a room to have a good “flow,” and he knows this because he would’ve stationed some sort of recliner with a cooler as well as a massage feature in the dead-center of our living room a long time ago if he didn’t have to take my love for “flow” into account. And so, considering the fact that we’d just moved a 200-pound piece of machinery into the corner of our bedroom, he was able to recognize that I was feeling a little unsettled.

And that is when he grabbed a throw from a nearby chair, grinned, and said, “Here. I’ll fix it just like your mama would.”

God bless him. It made me so happy.

And just so you know: I didn’t leave it that way. I like to think that I’m growing as a person.

But you’d better believe that I reserve the right to construct some sort of elaborate six-sided decorative screen in order to conceal all those handlebars and and pedals and wheels.

I think I’ll call Mama and see if she wants to start drawing up the plans.

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  1. Ha! Ha! I know what you’re talking about. A girl definitely wants the room to flow! And I happen to be the kind of girl that has to move things and then see if it works. I CANNOT picture how it would look in my head. I have to see it. I also love how a good man learns what makes his woman tick. :)

  2. Bless your heart! I have been coveting an elliptical for a while, but I wondered where in the world I’d put the dad-gum thing so that it didn’t stick out like a sore thumb! And I am by no means a decorator by nature, so I’m sure it has been tricky… God bless D for understanding his woman!

    FYI, I was at a friend’s house the other day and noticed a treadmill in their foyer, tucked away behind one of those pretty wooden folding screens!

  3. Oh a good man is hard to find -WTG-D!!

    And I say, Build the Screen!

  4. I think the screen would be just the ticket. It would also be an excellent way to “hide” the machine from your very own eyes on the days that you do not feel led by the spirit to indulge in the ellipses…

  5. HAHA!!! I love it!!! You really need to link to some of those pictures of mama’s house. I mean, what if people haven’t seen them??? :)

  6. Have you ever thought about getting a piece of molding and painting it white so it would match the rest of that old headboard? Then it would just look like a big art feature, not a headboard.

  7. Just read your old pillow post, and I thought you might get a kick out of this video. Behold! A barking cat:

  8. Jennifer Watson says:

    This post tickles me to pieces because I just bought a ginormous treadmill thinking it would fit neatly in the corner of my bedroom. Well, the once very large master bedroom now looks a wee bit smaller with the treadmill not-so-neatly fitting in the corner. It is a true monstrosity. But, it is the key to energy. And, there’s nowhere else for the thing.

    That, and I can’t get up in the morning without nearly tripping over it, so it’s hard to ignore using it (sometimes!).

  9. Allison B says:

    Oh, I can SO relate! We are expecting our first child in about 4 weeks (after 11 years of marriage!) and I just don’t know if I can handle all of the “stuff” that is invading my formerly tidy and well decorated home :-) The bassinet and bouncy seat are currently holding court in my living room – they just seem out of place every time I pass by. I know that this decorative sensitivity will soon pass, but it is really tempting to glue some bullion fringe on that bouncy seat…

  10. Oh my gosh! Too funny. :)

    My momma would contac-paper it in coordinating contac paper…. if that helps. :) Maybe you could find some to coordinate with your decor.

  11. On a side note – MSU – #16 in the poll!!!!

  12. I love it! Husband’s….they just know how to warm a mama’s heart, don’t they?

  13. Boo I am sitting here in tears. I don’t know what made me click over to the entertainment tab of PW today but I read your entry about great couples and you start off with Champions”A love story. I am in tears because not only was this one of my favorite movies from the 70s (along with “I Wanna Keep MY Baby” staring Mariel Hemmingway) but I just saw the last name LeDuc on a sign this morning which of course made me think of the movie. How I cried over those two movies and how much I loved sitting with my mom watching all those gems. Thanks for walking me down memory lane.

  14. I tell you, her house is perfection. For crying out loud, the woman has a small chandelier in her laundry room! I envy it so.

    She has such a knack for the art of homemaking. One time she delivered us a meal. Rather than bringing it in disposable containers and foil pans, it was on a lovely tray on her pretty dishes. And every time I’d send over some cookies or something (in a glass dish, of course, because that’s apparently essential), she’d always return the dish with something in it….which led me to wonder if I then was supposed to send it back over with a “thank you for the thank you treat.” Probably so.

    She was the best neighbor. Ever.

  15. Lisa Covill says:

    Oh, Sophie, I think you are the best. You always know when I need a smile. Thanks.
    Have a great week!

  16. A screen is a lovely idea. In fact, I am very close to buying a big 3 panel or so screen for the corner of my bedroom that my laundry hamper sits in. It doesn’t matter how pretty of a hamper you put in your bedroom, everyone knows what it is. And I can’t abide that.

    Just clicked over and re-read about the stunt pillows and was tickled pink to read an ancient comment that my sister (Sica) had left for you. It is true. She has a pillow box. I can never attain to her level of bed making. But I try try try ;)

  17. I have that same elliptical, and that same problem. Ours was in the master bedroom until we finished our basement, then we moved it down (putting a hole in the new wall on the way by *sob*). Now it’s in front of the family room TV down there.

    Best place for an elliptical: where ever you’ll actually USE it. Best of luck in feeling better soon. Life and health is more important than how perfect our houses look. :)

  18. Shew. I just laughed out loud. Really hard. Perfectly set up and then to scroll down and see that picture! Hilarious!

  19. Terrie Cash says:

    Sad to say, I had to give away my elliptical machine due my OCD ways. The over sized monster just didn’t fit anywhere in my home.

    Never thought about the screen idea and I have two of them. If you have a World Market in your area, they have screens there.

  20. The post about your mom’s pillows: LOVED it!! You could have been writing about me. Sleeping pillows in a closet: check; Covering “flaws” around the house: check; Cleaning windows with newspaper: check. Not knowing any better, my husband would swear it was me!! My favorite time to clean is when there is a storm brewing. Weird, huh? I think it is fear of no electricity; therefore, no vacuuming for who knows how long. Oh, and the TV show, Hoarders, sends me to a closet with garbage bags every time. I love your blog. You are too too funny!!

  21. Melissa H. says:

    You will love the elliptical and if you stick with it you will get results!
    I have had mine for a few months and can tell a big difference in muscle tone. Hope it works for you!
    Melissa H.

  22. That picture of the cover seriously cracked me up! Too funny! I am not one to talk as I put our treadmill in the master bedroom closet so I wouldn’t have to look at it. I now exercise in the closet.

  23. Ugh the big new-to-me elliptical… Don’t get me wrong – I love mine. I got it off craigslist for a STEAL because it was stuck in the highest setting. My lovely, handy boyfriend quickly fixed that with nothing more than a zip tie. But then we had to decide where to put it. And for various reasons, including aesthetics, mine ended up in the garage. So yes, you can drive by my house a few evenings a week and if you look into my open garage door, towards the back corner, there I am sweating like a maniac.


  1. […] be diligent and dedicated and determined about setting aside some time in the afternoons to use the new-to-us elliptical machine. And I don’t even know if the term “elliptical machine” is correct – maybe […]