Miss America Viewing Party 2012

All righty, everybody. I’ll go ahead and warn you that I’m going to update this post an obnoxious amount while the pageant is on, so between my wordiness and incoming comments, we’re all going to have to refresh the page from time to time.

I know. It’s not exactly a fancy plan, but it’ll do, hopefully.

See y’all in a few minutes!

**********
As a point of order, I would just like to mention that I washed my face a few minutes ago but was so excited that I forgot to put on moisturizer. So I made it back to the TV in time for the pageant, but my face is now about to crack open. MISS AMERICA IS WORTH THE SACRIFICE.

**********
Oh, wait – I am unfamiliar with this off-site introductory business. I LOVE MISS ARKANSAS (“called a hog”). These puns are magnificent.

**********
I think the Las Vegas Visitors’ Bureau had a say in how the introductions are done. And yes, Miss Idaho totally called herself “a hot potato.” Also: I was unaware that Marky Mark is a sweet treat. But BREAK IT DOWN, GIRLS, with the dance moves.

**********
I know I’m partial, but Miss Mississippi looks fantastic. And listen – all these old-school opening statements (“having fun is always the Maine event,” “from the home state of Nike, here tonight to Just Do It”) are making me clap my hands.

**********
God bless Chris Harrison. He really is a perfect host, don’t y’all think?

*********
There’s a Head Judge? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!

**********
Top 15 is silly, but nonetheless, we have Miss Oklahoma, Miss South Carolina, Miss Florida, Miss New York, Miss Iowa, Miss Texas (WHO IS DARLIN’), Miss Virginia, Miss Illinois (“There she creates, there she gives”), Miss Arizona, Miss Alabama (YAAAAAAAAY!), Miss Tennessee (WHO IS ALSO DARLIN’), Miss Wisconsin, (COMMERCIAL BREAK), Miss North Carolina, Miss California (sidenote: I don’t really need for my Miss America to be edgy, nor do I want her to manipulate the media, but I understand that I am old), and Miss Louisiana.

**********
OH MY WORD THE SWIMSUITS.

**********
You know what I’d love? A good production number.

**********
This is sort of like watching The Hills if The Hills took place on a really big stage. With crowns.

**********
Swimsuit competition? I miss those old one-pieces that looked like they were made of vinyl. And looking at all these six-pack abs reminds us that I’ve got some pimento cheese in the refrigerator. I think I’ll go make me a sandwich.

**********
I miss the three-point turn.

**********
I think it might lead to some ish-ahs if you’re eliminated right after the swimsuit competition.

**********
Three blondes left. The hair color tide, it is a-turnin’.

**********
Now that is just mean. For girls to have to line up behind the girl they want to stay? OH MY WORD SO MEAN.

**********
I just said this when I replied to an email, but clearly that whole “stand behind the girl you want to save” thing was designed by a man. A MAN WHO HAS NEVER BEEN A GIRL IN JUNIOR HIGH.

**********
Dear Miss Illinois: You are gorgeous, but Miss America does not use the phrase “sex appeal.” And I LOOOOOVE Miss South Carolina’s gown.

**********
Dear Miss Texas: Your gown is perfection.

**********
A Person Who Shall Remain Unnamed just texted me and said, “Alabowma.” SO GOOD. And I thought everybody looked gorgeous in evening gown, by the way.

**********
Y’all? Is she dancing to a Prince song?

**********
Talent: Miss Arizona (cute routine, strange music), Miss Illinois (maybe not the most difficult routine, but certainly better than I could do, you know, EVER), Miss Oklahoma (IRISH STEP DANCE, AMEN), but I’m having a hard time concentrating on the talents because I’m obsessed with the strange facts and can’t stop thinking about how Miss Illinois is AFRAID OF WINDMILLS.

SHE’S AFRAID OF WINDMILLS.

**********
Miss Texas (very talented at piano as well as her ability to sit gracefully in a dress with a slit cut up to her hip), Miss Wisconsin (some opera something or other), Miss New York (oh, this is my kind of Miss America vocal, yes ma’am), Miss Louisiana (it’s like an Ann Margret number in toe shoes – I don’t mind it – and she ALMOST SWALLOWED A DIAMOND), Miss Tennessee (bonus points for singing something from Cats in Italian), Miss Iowa (You Raise Me Up – a crowd pleaser), Miss California (appears to be LEGIT as far as her ballet skillz are concerned; her interpretation of the black swan was very EDGY, I have to say). :-)

**********
My prediction for Top 5: Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, California, Oklahoma – what do y’all think?

**********
Top 5, for real: Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Arizona, New York, California (I’VE NEVER BEEN LESS ACCURATE). In my humble opinion, Miss Texas and Miss Louisiana should’ve been in the Top 5.

**********
4th Runner-Up – Miss California
3rd Runner-Up – Miss Arizona
2nd Runner-Up – Miss New York
1st Runner-Up – Miss Oklahoma
Miss America – Miss Wisconsin

**********
Well, that was just so fun! More fun! It was just so much fun!

Thanks, y’all, for being the best commenters in the whole wide ever. I had the best time with y’all!

(I still can’t believe Texas and Louisiana weren’t Top 5.)

(I’ll try to get over it.)

(‘Night, everybody!)

Share:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email

Comments

  1. Was the diamond in a piece of cake? Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    What is that awful sound thy play between talents?? Trying to torture us or make us go def?

  3. I suspect Miss Louisiana’s story about almost swallowing a diamond is way more interesting than her dance was.

  4. I think we can exclude Miss NY from winning the crown… bless her heart.

  5. Carolyn F says:

    HISS!

  6. It’s not Miss America without “talents” that were clearly only developed for the pageant circuit. I’m looking at you, Broadway songs and modern dance.

  7. Is it just me or does Get On It still feel like a very awkward tag line?

  8. I agree, talent part just awkward. The stage is so busy it makes it hard to concentrate on the girl performing. Girls sitting around, way too many sparkly backdrops. The whole show really seems rushed to me. The talent waiters look like they are in a bedazzled locker room.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Starting to love miss LA. Seems a little less rehearsed and more natural?

  10. Bad decision, Miss America. Miss SC could have done so much for this program. Talk about a winner. Assuming her platform has something to do with obesity, no one would have been more convincing. Little chubby girls everywhere could see their own dreams come true and used her as a true and very real role.

    Very disappointed.

  11. Are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. TN: gorgeous dress

  13. Memory! Yes, that’s a pageant song. And in another language.

  14. Julie Reynolds says:

    Did anyone else think she was channeling a bull fighter when she grabbed her dress?

  15. Now that is confidence in one’s underarm hair removal method. Kudos, Miss Tennessee.

  16. I think that if I were going to do a talent competition, I’d do opera. No one would know if I messed up the lyrics…

  17. I would have preferred a hiking demonstration… but at least its not a Bieber song

  18. TN can sing!

  19. Bieber fever. Really?

  20. Miss Tennessee can sing, but I’m not sure we need a Miss America who suffers from Beiber Fever…just sayin’

  21. Okay, Miss TN put all the others to shame. And I say that not JUST because I happen to be sitting in that great state. ;)

    • Elizabeth says:

      Same here…I might be a bit biased, but I also have ears. She was the best singer, by far! Go Vols!

  22. I don’t think you can call it your favorite food if you obviously haven’t eaten it in the last 5 years. French toast – ha!

  23. I find it difficult to believe that Miss Iowa has actually consumed french toast at any point in the recent past.

  24. Miss Iowa: no.

  25. Carolyn F says:

    Sophie, do we really have to behave? Talent (or lack thereof) always brings out the catty in me.

  26. Julie Reynolds says:

    I knew our Alabama girl was going home after the Bow!

  27. So. Mean. to leave one girl there. Boo Miss America!

  28. Bring on the batons please!!!!!!!!

  29. of course miss california is the black swan.

  30. TN, TX, LA, CA, and who else in the top five?

  31. 800 Twitter Followers? Wait… that means I could qualify to be Miss America?????

  32. Talent winners IMHO, Texas, Tennessee, California, with honorable mention to Oklahoma and Louisianna

  33. Agree on the top 5, Sophie

  34. Oh bless Alabama’s heart. I’m thinking the ginormous bow caused her demise…

  35. I think Texas, Tennessee, California, and Oklahoma are finalists for sure.

  36. Carolyn F says:

    Sophie says: My prediction for Top 5: Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, California, Oklahoma

    I think TN, LA, WI maybe OK and LA?

  37. I’m not sure they’ll do Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, and Oklahoma for fear that that’s too many southerners. Then again, nothing about this year’s pageant has made sense, so who knows?

  38. Julie Reynolds says:

    Top five prediction: texas, louisiana, wisconsin, oklahoma, tennessee

  39. I think New York sneaks into the top five…

  40. AL: Was she REALLY given a second chance or was that just a hoax to add some kind of twist to the show? I mean, the bow didn’t really help her…

  41. I picked the same top 5 as Sophie, and a few others. OK, TX, TN, CA, LA

  42. I’m going on record…Louisiana for the win! So sad that SC didn’t make the cut.

  43. Oooooh, my favorite part. World peace!

  44. Well, these outfits are precious!

  45. Carolyn F says:

    Pet peeve, answer the question you are asked! Good answer though.

  46. It’s starting to sound like they let Gretchen Carlson write all the questions…

  47. Oklahoma scores on the question!

  48. Love Miss Oklahoma’s answer!

  49. I think Oklahoma has a solid shot at the crown.

  50. Dang, Oklahoma. That was some answer. Way to go!

  51. Help! Somehow I turned siri, or whatever her name is, on on my phone where I’ve been following along boomamas blog. She is now reading the blog word for word, letter for letter. How do I turn it off? Except that it is hysterical listening to her say y’all!

  52. Carolyn F says:

    Loved Arizona’s answer!

  53. Um, excuse me Arizona. Tebow is not “forcing his faith” on anyone. Being Miss America doesn’t mean you can’t represent your faith. Representing does NOT equal forcing.

  54. Miss New York? Really?

  55. Oh my! I am really surprised at the finalist.

  56. BOO Miss Arizona’s answer. BOO.

  57. I was totally off, only got 2 of 5 right. Or the Judges were totally off!

  58. This is more a competition in not answering difficult questions than anything else.

  59. Louisiana is out now? Good thing I’m not a betting woman!

  60. Disappointed in finalists and in their answers. hmmm…

  61. no blondes in the top 5? this is rigged

  62. Julie Reynolds says:

    Well goodbye to the south!

  63. Clearly, ladies, what the judges saw and heard tonight ain’t what we all saw and heard! Hard to believe talent is worth, what, 30%!

    I vote Oklahoma and New York as the top two.

  64. JustBetty says:

    Miss New York = Beautiful and Confident!
    I think I love her.

  65. This finalist lineup is inexplicable.

  66. Tough question for Miss New York when Kardashian is one of the judges.

  67. I’m sorry but how did NY get in top 5?????????? And California!

  68. Gee, anti-Southern much with those finalists? Kinda shocked at those choices.

  69. Elizabeth says:

    I really wish Kris Jenner would have asked the question about Teen Mom….would have been wonderfully awkward.

  70. I hope they judge the interview based on the way they answered and not whether or not the judges agree with their answers.

  71. Carolyn F says:

    Obviously the judges think Miss America needs to be able to manipulate the media…

  72. OK is my favorite, then NY, WI, CA, AZ in that order.

  73. Miss OK wins the crown!

  74. My favorite moment of the night: When my 10yo walked in the room, looked at the TV and said, “That girl needs to eat some biscuits.” Amen, baby girl!

  75. Julie Reynolds says:

    I agree with you Sophie, Louisiana& texas should have been on top five.

  76. Amway. Sure.

  77. Not getting NY making the finals….she was off key! I think the top 5 is definitely a reflection of this collection of judges

  78. Can’t believe NY and CA got in the top 5

  79. OK has won twice in the last few years, so I pretty much figured Wisconsin would win. Remind what her talent was?

  80. Bless her heart, that’s not waterproof mascara.

  81. Carolyn F says:

    Two words – waterproof mascara

    • Jennifer L. says:

      I just posted the EXACT same thing below, and then I saw yours! Great minds think alike. :)

  82. Now that was a surprise.

  83. I can’t believe she forgot her waterproof mascara. Bless her heart.

  84. Julie Reynolds says:

    Wow, thanks for a great time Sophie!!

  85. I was really hoping Chris Harrison would sing the song, doggone it.

  86. Go Wisconsin my neighboring state :) Love her platform.

  87. That mascara is a Saturday Night Live skit in the making.

  88. Jennifer L. says:

    Two words: waterproof mascara.

  89. She is so pretty! I am SOOO happy it was not AZ or CA!
    It was fun, girls!!

  90. Carolyn F says:

    This fun ladies. Boomama, see you next year?

  91. Now those are true friends, the ones who run up and wipe the mascara off for you.

  92. Thanks, Sophie! Until next time!

  93. JustBetty says:

    Thanks for inviting us over, BooMama! =)

  94. Thanks, Sophie! Really fun!

  95. I was following along here (and laughing at you all!!), but didn’t comment til now. This made my Miss America watching so much more fun!! Lets do it again next year, boomama!!!

  96. Thanks so much for a fun night!!!!!!!! My sister was at a Miss America party so, it was fun hanging out on the internet with a bunch of girls!

  97. Thanks, Sophie, for hosting. This was fun.

  98. Nothing against any of the contestants, but I have to say I was disappointed in the production of this pageant.

  99. This was fun ladies! Thanks for filling in for my sisters, who I used to always watch with until we had to all grow up, leave home and get married. Let’s do this again next year (or sooner for all the state pageants that are online)!

  100. That’s my state!!!