Stay Apple Green, Ponyboy

Yesterday I painted all day. Well, I painted during all the parts of the day when I wasn’t playing the Where’s My Perry? game (so delightfully addictive) or watching a certain reunion special on Bravo. But I painted A LOT. And while I was painting, I was good with the color. I recognized that the apple green was on the bright side, but unlike the mint-y green that’s been on the cabinets, there was nothing wishy-washy about the apple green.

And yesterday, at least, I appreciated that.

But this morning I got out of bed and walked in the kitchen and before I even knew what came over me, I said, “OH, NO. NOOOOOOO.” I said it a couple of times. And I meant it, too.

Because in the morning light, the apple green color is, well, neon-esque in its intensity. It’s just too much. Plus, in the spots where the apple green bumps up against the blue walls, it looks like I’ve tried to paint my kitchen to look like a nursery. Or at the very least a room that overstimulates four year-olds to ear-splitting levels of excitement.

I told myself to give it a few hours to see if the color calmed down, but I barely made it past lunch before I 911-texted my friend Bubba (who is an interior designer and not really named Bubba) and begged him to stage a cabinet color intervention. Bubba understands my tendency to get a little over-enthusiastic with my colors, which is why, when D and I bought our first house eleventy hundred years ago, Bubba mailed me a list of paint colors that he recommended. The colors were gorgeous, of course – very muted and rich and neutral – and I followed Bubba’s suggestions to the letter. I actually only fell off the Responsible Paint Color Selection Wagon twice when we were living in that house: once when I painted large stripes in our bedroom, unintentionally creating the effect of a carnival, and again when our dog went into labor in the back bedroom and I responded to the canine medical drama by painting my kitchen purple while my neighbor tended to the animals.

The puppies turned out way cuter than the kitchen, by the way.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that the Apple Green Cabinet Experiment of 2012 is now drawing to a close. It was a tender time with some hard lessons. I took a chance, and it didn’t work out. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be walking through the grocery store next week and suddenly decide that my life won’t be complete if I don’t paint my bathroom a shade of coral that leans toward orange, but this particular citron-colored chapter of my decorative life is over.

I understand if you feel that you may require some time to adequately grieve and process this development. I know that the apple green option was wildly popular with approximately four of you. It’s to be expected that it may take awhile for us to get our emotional bearings again.

Fingers crossed, though, that I’ve gotten this round of Impulsive Decorative Disorder out of my system. I don’t want to move too quickly – there’s some healing that needs to happen, of course – but I’m ready to get some new paint and finish these cabinets. My apple green aims were honest, mind you, but like Randy Travis sings, “I hear tell that the road to OH MY WORD THAT’S THE TACKIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN is paved with good intentions.”

Or something like that.

So just as soon as I gaze lovingly at the apple green cabinets and shed a single tear, I’m going to grab some sandpaper, rub off the tacky, and move on.

It’s the right thing to do.

(Feel free to begin playing some inspirational music.)

(I’ve always been partial to the theme from Chariots of Fire).

(But any of the Rocky themes would be totally appropriate as well.)

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  1. This post is CRYIN’ OUT for some pictures! We want to see the nursery kitchen! :)

  2. Sarah Kate in WA state says:

    Ditto to what Starr said above!! I kept scrolling down to see if there might be photographic documentation of said apple green cabinets. Pretty please?? :)

  3. I think photos of the apple green would be therapeutic and necessary to your grieving process…:)

  4. “It was a tender time with some hard lessons.” You said it yesterday on The Twitter and I’m delighted to see it again this morning. I double over with laughter both times I read it. I’m very excited to work this phrase into EVERY conversation I have over the next couple of days. Good luck with the kitchen. I feel your pain.

  5. Susan in Indiana says:

    Oh yes! We need photos so we can learn from your experience. :-)

  6. Photos help us to purge the bad experiences. Let’s move on to some cabinet color delight. And if you said OH NO, first thing in the morning, I’m glad you read that as a sign from our creator that the only apple green should be apples!

  7. I just love that you don’t beat yourself up about those green cabinets! Your positive attitude delights us all. Are you going to post a picture of them? I once PAID painters to paint the trim on our brick house a “copper” color. Let’s just say it didn’t look very coppery.😏

  8. I feel your paint-y pain . . . my daughter’s room was *supposed* to be a muted shade of apple green, and in natural light it looks like it’s supposed to look. But when I turn on any light in there, BAM. Minty. Sigh.

  9. I love reading your blog!! Thank you for your insightful, funny and inspiring posts. After this awesome story about your cabinets you must post pics of the apple green color. :) Wishing you a blessed day!

  10. Mercy, we need photos!!

  11. PICTURES!!! and what color is next?

  12. I’m a little embarrassed to admit how disappointed I am. I had such HIGH HOPES for your endeavor. Being not a risk taker I’m always thrilled when others, you know, take risks, and I think I secretly believe anything will work if you’re brave enough to Just Do It. Also, I agree with the others that a picture would be helpful…kind’ve a “see it to believe it” sort of situation, if you will.

  13. Nothing will keep you from walking down this mistake riddled path again like the public embarrassement a few pictures could offer… consider it a preventative medicine

  14. Marybeth says:

    I truly believe that the good Lord wants to complete the kitchen intervention with pictures for your adoring readers to understand and give detailed prayer for you (and the family).

  15. All I can say to the other commenters is, “Amen!”. Pictures, PLEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZEE! It will be very cathartic. Closure and all. Get it off your chest and move on. Just do it quickly, you know, like pulling off a Bandaid. It will only hurt for a second.

  16. I think we all need some pictures of these cabinets! :)

  17. I learned the hard way that my color issues are with color “saturation” and notsomuch color shades. I don’t even know if that is the correct terminology, but now I look at things like hue and such when I pick colors. (I realize this makes no sense.) I feel your pain.

  18. You must show us a photo!! Please

  19. Jennifer says:

    I am so, so sorry for your retinal pain. At least you take chances. I felt so incredibly bad about myself last week as I looked at my living room walls, where I’d painted three different Benjamin Moore color samples…all shades of khaki. Now, that’s gutsy, right?

  20. C Smith says:

    Sorry that it didn’t work out. Maybe you could go over it with a thinned darker color. I have seen people do that and get a great “distressed” look. Of course, I would probably just get a “dirty” look. I’m reluctant to mess with paint since I tried to paint my living room a stormy blue-grey color and ended up with baby blue suitable for a boy’s nursery.

  21. Merri Jo says:

    I am siding with the majority voice: PHOTOS PLEASE!!! Even in your chagrin and distress you manage to make me laugh with abandon. Your gift for story telling is, well, a gift! I hope ‘Bubba’ provides a lovely alternative that will give you years of paint color induced relief from your IDD. (step away from the kitchen!)

  22. I once painted our dining room a frightening ” red” shade that looked like a murder had taken place. My friends called it the Helter Skelter room. Remember – it is only paint.

  23. Cheryl Stanley says:

    Maybe the blue walls need some paint too…? And a little glaze on the green? Hope you don’t give up yet – regret is tough to live with! :)

  24. I laughed soo hard about a married couple’s bedroom looking like a carnival. Hahaha! And painting a kitchen purple while the neighbors helped deliver your dog’s puppies! That is hysterical!
    Seriously, I do love that you took a chance, and I really loved your attitude of ‘oh well, at least I tried!’. I really do love you, Boo Mama!

  25. I think we all agree that we need to see a picture of this apple greeen. Because, while it did not work for you, it might for me. :)

  26. Candace says:

    You are SO funny! I have been known to have the need to paint something hit me as well. My kitchen turned out so neon orangey/yellow one time that I ended up sponging a soft yellow over it to tone it down …. and ending up loving it. That was quite a few years back, now I’m sick of it but can not get in the mood to repaint ;-)

  27. Oh my Lord, you crack me up! Mint to neon … you gotta love it. I can’t wait to hear about your next adventure!

  28. We once painted our bedroom a dark mustardy yellow (on the recommendation of an interior designer friend who said it was all the rage). Well, let me tell you, it was outRAGEous. Looked like something you might find in a baby’s diaper! Sold the house not long after that, and I still wonder what color that room is now.

  29. Nothing apple green can stay. :)

  30. I need some apple green pictures and the new color pictures. We rent but eventually when I buy I know I will be a color happy person. Our house will look like a painter’s sample tray!

  31. Sophie, Pictures PLEASE! We know you don’t like it but we can learn from your experiment!

  32. Hmmmmm….maybe it’s the blue that needs toned down??? Just a thought, but what do I know? Blue is my favorite color. Any shade. But, I learned years ago, that by the time I think a color chip is blue enough, it’s TOO BLUE :) The bigger the area that it’s going on, the bluer it gets. The exterior of our house is a special shade of blue mixed just for me. It took 4 attempts to get it right. The first shade I selected was so vivid! OK…..a Ford tractor would have blended in :) It is a dark, federal blue trimmed in white. I love it!!

    I’m just sayin’… would be nice. Good luck, Boomama! I love your sense of humor about it.

  33. As much as I would love to see some cabinet pics, I would love to get Bubba’s approved paint color list even more. I can not begin to explain the agony I go through each and every time I decide to paint and never have I lucked into getting the right color the first time. Seeing “color” is not my gift. I was apparently getting a double dose of the cleaning gene instead.

  34. Destiny says:

    I am so sorry, but this is hands down one of your funniest posts ever. You provided a slew of great one-liners — so good that I just might have spit soda on my screen and peed a little at the same time…

  35. AnotherLisa says:

    We have “distressed” cabinets here at the beach. A great way to enjoy color, is to let it peek through the wear and age of a top coat of neutral. Keep touches of green this way and you may find yourself in love with your original thought, just toned down a bit.

  36. This post is right up there with one you wrote a few years ago about your son’s prayer for Allie, the dog, who was “wayward”. Loved it.

    Pictures, pretty please? Just one or two? Maybe a before and after and then after, again?

  37. Lynn L. says:

    You didn’t tell us what Bubba recommended. I’m dying to know! I also am leaning toward the others’ advice to glaze over the apple ( maybe a caramel color??? Heehee) and then paint over the blue walls with a neutral light tone.

  38. I loved reading this post. I also want to see a photo!!