Mostly The “I” Whispers, But Sometimes It Stands Up And Screams

Well, all I can say is that I LEARNED SOME THINGS reading your comments on college football traditions at your respective schools. I must have said, “Well, I had no idea” at least 25 times. Honestly, I’m so taken with all this new college football info that I’ve considered preparing a study guide and then giving myself a quiz. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, Y’ALL.

Besides reading all of your comments, I spent a good portion of the weekend trying to take care of my inner introvert a little bit. I’ve mentioned before that I’m an INFP on the Myers-Briggs, but I am borderline on the E (extrovert) and I (introvert) part. I’ve heard a couple of friends say that this means that I’m a social introvert, but all it means to me that is that when I am with a group of people I will have big laughs and big fun and all manner of enthusiasm about how we need to get together more often, but when I get home and shut the door and take a few minutes to settle down, I start to long for a cold, dark room where I can be alone and be quiet and think way more than I talk.

And do you know what’s weird? I have a vivid memory of the first time that I was aware of the “I” side of my personality. I spent the first 17 years of my life thinking that I was an extrovert because, well, I loved nothing more than hanging out with my friends. But one fall weekend I went to Ole Miss (I know – we’ll process ALL THE IRONY later) with my friends Merritt, Elizabeth, and Melissa, and after the football game, we changed clothes (because of course we were dressed to the late-80s nines for the game) (I remember that I was wearing a long, red, v-neck sweater over gray pants) (only I turned the sweater around so that the V would be in the back because SASSY) and headed to fraternity row to visit a few of our hometown friends at their respective post-game parties.

Here’s the part I will never forget: I made it 30 minutes – THIRTY MINUTES – before I knew that I couldn’t take even one more second of all the noise and the people and the revelry. So I told my friends I was tired, walked back to the dorm where we were staying, put on my pajamas, and fell sound asleep by 10:30.

I can’t really explain it, but I was acutely aware of my inner introvert rising up and saying, “NO MORE.” It’s happened hundreds of times since then, and now I know that if I ignore it, my mood and my energy level and my general attempts at pleasantness will suffer. So this past Friday, when I finally got to the end of a week that had demanded an unusual amount of extroversion – and when I realized that we didn’t have anything on the calendar – I started to wonder if there was some way that I could stay at home all day Saturday. You can imagine my delight when I realized that YES, YES I COULD.

And oh, did I ever make the most of it.

I drank coffee until 10, I wrote, I hung out with my people, I watched some TV, I read, I cooked, and I woke up Sunday morning feeling like a new woman.

What about y’all? When you need to recharge, are you more likely to look for some way to get some (relative) peace and quiet – or do you set out in search of adventure / time with friends / a fun weekend trip? I have sort of an over-the-top interest in this kind of stuff, so I can assure you that if you have habits that you think or quirky or maybe even a little eccentric, I will find them UTTERLY FASCINATING. So feel free to share.

Your INFP Friend
(whose “I” is now feeling so much better)

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  1. I must be on the same INFP scale as you are. I love being with people, but oh my word do I love curling up at night with my book and closing the door even on my own people!

  2. I’m an ISFJ so I get you, girl. I do. I feel like my brain has a word limit per day – both in AND out :) I’ve actually had people tell me online that they swear I’m an extrovert, which makes it only slightly awkward (ahem) when we meet at conferences and I’m 100 kinds of shy and say all the wrong things. I have had to literally give myself an internal pep talk to not run away from a 300+ person buffet line at a blogging conference because of all the people. But, a little time away, a great cup of coffee, and some time to chat with my family and I’m feeling like myself :)

  3. I’m an INFP as well! It’s always nice to locate another member of my tribe :)

    It was clear from childhood that I was an introvert, but it wasn’t until I got to college that I realized large group settings did nothing good for me. It took years for me to figure out that this was OKAY and I wasn’t a freak of nature. It’s in fashion now to honor introverted people and I have to say that it’s a refreshing change from being made to feel that there was something wrong with me when I didn’t care to spend hours surrounded by hundreds of people.

    My recharge time is late evening and early morning solitude. It’s my FAVORITE.

  4. The older I get, the more socially awkward I am at any given function. Even church on Sundays, I’m hiding to avoid interaction — not because I loathe people, but because I long to leave. Too many people, too much small talk. And I’m a PW! At any party, I love finding one kindred spirit, and then I stalk them all night long and hound them until it’s time to leave. It’s awful and uncomfortable and awesome all at the same time.

    • JeanJean says:

      Sounds like me Monica. If I can be with people in groups of 4-6, I’m OK. I have a dear friend who I (and everyone else) love at church, who is off-the scale E. I hide from her in big group settings. She becomes energized, I become depleted. PS I am boring. Wish I were a fascinating pool of mystery and depth, but alas, just plain boring. Sigh.

      • It’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one! I love small groups, too…but am pretty confident you are not boring whatsoever! I think a lot of my introversion comes from self-consciousness and self-loathing. But now I’ve gone too deep. ;)

  5. I haven’t the slightest recollection of my Myers-Briggs standing, but I am an extrovert socially, party planner, meeter,, greeter….however, I’ve recently actually told my husband that I think my love language is SILENCE.


  6. Elizabeth says:

    You have reminded me much of myself. I know that I am an introvert , yet , I LOVE to be around people just as you describe. But to relax , to be content , I need hours and hours alone. ( And more hours ! To be honest ) I LOVE to be with people , yet I love to be alone, it’s the strangest thing. The past two weeks have been filled with more drama than usual , and more people… and I’ve been busier… which led to fatigue… which led to …. me being in my jammies for the past 24 hours and mostly just reading. : ) It soothes me. No one around , just me and the dog. ( Thank you , LORD ! ) Back in my early 40’s , I recall having thoughts of desire to be in solitary confinement. Seems like most of the people in my family though , recharge by doing something , which gets me all off kilter. Just when I’m done with ” doing something ” and can relax , I hear ” what are we going to DO NOW ? ” ( Um , sit and reflect quietly together ??? Why can’t that ever be the answer ??? ) I’m glad you got to come to know you were an introvert at a young age. I’m just now giving into it , to be honest , and I can’t tell you how freeing it is after all this time.

  7. Introvert, but I don’t really like to stay home! So, to recharge, I go shopping alone. I teach in a school with over 600 kids and about 50 adults, I need my quiet alone time often!

  8. I tend more towards ISFP. 3 of my 4 kiddos are MUCH more extroverted than I am and I’m a full-time SAHM, so they’re with me pretty much all. the. time. Don’t get me wrong… I LOVE my people and choose to quit my good, stable, RN job so that I could be with my little ones as much as possible… But for real, sometimes Mama just gets tired of listening to the constant narration and chatter. I mean, I kind of like to think my own thoughts every once in a while rather than listen to 24-7 stream-of-consciousness from a 6 year old and 2 year old, simultaneously. Haha, that sounds terrible. Let me say once again that my kids are my very favorite people in the whole wide world (along with my husband of course). I’m so happy and blessed and everything is wonderful!!!
    So anyway, I love visiting and hanging out and loving on the people around me but it sort of wears me out sometimes. My favorite way to recharge is to spend some time in nature (preferably around a big, beautiful body of water with a really great breeze blowing so I’m not sweating) and just breathe in the beauty and be still in the presence of the Lord. Ahhhhhhh. That way doesn’t happen very often so my go-to is a nice, long, hot bath. My husband laughs at me but every night, I run my bath water as deep as possible and as warm as I can stand it, then I just chill until it gets cold. Sometimes I read, but really I just like to think, but not think about any sort of problem or anything… Just let my mind wander and think through whatever it wants to think about.

    • I feel sorry for my daughter because she is very extroverted and I am very introverted and, sometimes, I just can’t take any more talking.

  9. I initially rode the introvert/extrovert fence like you. Haven’t taken the test lately to see if I’ve changed but my introvert side is talking loud lately. As an RN, I can do the whole extrovert thing all day as needed. By on my own time, at home, my “I” is pretty happy to be alone and quiet. Lately, while under a heavy amount of stress, the only way I could cope….was all alone and/or with my immediate family only. And party? What’s that? It’s all good, I’m rather content!

  10. I took a lengthy pencil/paper Myers-Briggs assessment in college and came out to be an ES/NFJ (the S and N were almost equal for me). But as I’ve gotten older, I realized I MUST HAVE BEEN LYING TO MYSELF b/c there is NOTHING I appreciate more than some good ole peace and quiet. With 3 kids, it’s hard to come by….

  11. I’m an INTJ and definitely on the introvert side. I love my time with people and I miss it if I don’t get it (but I don’t really miss it until the third day of not talking to anyone), but I need solid alone time. I do my best thinking while reading a book, and I decompress by watching tv.

  12. hey!! I’m an ISTJ and in total LOVE with the Myers Briggs. Have you read Please Understand Me II?? It will change your world! I read it out loud to my husband because everyone should be in the know :) Im also a borderline I/E but definitely an I at the end of the day. With a husband who works from home and a baby I never feel alone. But if there is ever an opportunity to be home alone, oh my word the joy!!!! just to be alone, eat, watch movies, order take in…’s exactly what i need to feel myself again.

  13. I am positive that I am an extroverted introvert. Or an introverted experiment.
    Shoot. I don’t know what I am. I’m the only person I know who has ever flunked a personality test (I am not making that up. The one with the four temperaments: choleric, melancholy, phlegmatic, sanguine? Well, apparently my score showed I was a mix of temperaments you can’t even mix.). And now I’ve just aired my weirdness for all the world to see. Which is making me feel introverted so I’m just going to go now.

    • Good grief! I meant introverted extrovert.

    • I am a personality test flunkee as well—-I HATE these tests. they stress me out to no end, and that should say something about me. I take the tests with a mindset that there must be one “right” answer and my mind tries to find the “right’ answer, not what I “feel” is the right answer for “me”.

  14. Most definitely an I! My ex-husband was an E and we really weren’t good for each other because he just DID NOT understand the concept that I liked to spend large quantities if time at home being quiet. The thought of going out every night of the week was awful. I like spending time with friends and family but desperately need time to myself on a regular basis. Holing up in my craft room for a while, bubble bath with a good book, going for a jog outside, just sitting around and relaxing in a relatively quiet house all equal bliss. Well, maybe not the jog ;)

  15. I’m an ISTJ, and I’m the I-est Introvert possible — I don’t think I answered ANY of the questions as an extrovert would have. My idea of the perfect weekend is one in which I don’t go ANYWHERE except church. My extroverted friends think that is CRAZY!

    • I’m an ISTJ as well and a whole weekend alone is my idea of heaven. I could go a whole weekend and not talk to anyone and be content and recharged on Monday. The hard part is I come from a huge family so there is always some get together with masses of people and I always feel obligated to go. When I tell people that I’m an Introvert they equate it with being shy. Yes I am shy, but one isn’t necessarily related to the other. Because I have to be a bit of an extrovert in my job (I play the role very well), I cherish the times when I can be alone and recharge.

      • Cyndie in Ohio says:

        Hey, I’m an ISTJ too, but I am not a shy person. My mother is an ESTP and she was always trying to get me to be extroverted like her. I was so happy when I found out my personality type, it was a huge relief because I thought something was very wrong with me, well that may be true :-), but now I understand myself better and my husband (INTJ) and kids. I think us Introverts are the minority but now that I know what’s normal for me, it’s ok.

    • I’m right there with you Tricia! I think I’m ISFP and I usually call myself an Introvert with a capital I. The S and F part of my test were closer to borderline, but I was 100% introvert.
      I have a friend who always says she doesn’t see the introvert in me, basically because I talk to people. I said I was an introvert, not shy and completely anti-social. lol I had to spend time in the middle of a very talkative group at work today, and I am LOVING being alone in a room with a computer right now.
      I highly recommend the book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.” I feel so validated after reading it…like other people out there “get it” and I’m not completely abnormal.

  16. I am also a borderline introvert/extrovert. I do love a good social gathering, but I start to get a headache by the end of most events. I am a fan of going into a near comatose state to recharge my batteries. My husband is a power-napper and he has always been amazed at my ability to take such long naps. Curling up with my heating pad and something to read is also my happy place when I can’t take a nap. I also like ear plugs…because I have 3 small kids who are not prone to quietness. :)

  17. Jennifer S says:

    I completely get what you are saying. A few years ago we went on vacation to Destin, Fl. with 2 other couples and all our respective children. We rented a big house right on the beach – it was fabulous and one of the best vacations we have ever had. The kids had a ball together and so did we adults, however there were several times that I had to “disappear” up to our room and crawl in bed and watch some TV or read by myself. I just had to have that alone time and escape from that house full of kids and noise chaos.

  18. This is me.

    The best part about knowing how I tick…is that it helps me figure out how my PEOPLE tick…and that insight makes for harmony all the way around my home. :)

  19. While I am doing something fun, I love it! Many times, before we go to something I’ll tell my husband I want to make sure we leave early. But once there, I want to stay. Then when I get home, I wish we left early. LOL.

  20. It seems that moving our daughter to Atlanta to begin her first year of nursing school has had me constantly on the go for the past four weeks. It has been the move that required four trips to Atlanta and numerous afternoons at TJ Maxx, Burlington, Ross and WalMart. I enjoy helping her get her household set up but really needed some down time. Saturday our Sunday School class prepared lunch for the homeless; we fed 98 people. It is a wonderful ministry for our class to come together and serve others. Normally, we all go out to lunch afterwards. I told my husband that I would be happy to go home and eat a tomato sandwich. We did. Later, when the rain set in for the afternoon, I read and took a nap. While I enjoy going and being around people, I know when it is time for me to reign myself in and have some down time. And, when my husband and I get to the Gulf Coast in September I am looking forward to reading A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet!

  21. I love it all, but, at different times! Love being with lots of family and friends, but, yes, love that quiet time to read my Bible, a good book, magazine, watch a good movie or t.v. show, or just sit and watch the birds. Oh, how I do enjoy the hummingbirds! Love sharing quiet time and busy time with my husband and family, which includes my church family, too. :-)

  22. Cheese and crackers!!! (That’s an explitive that my mom approves of).

    I thought I was the only one. I don’t know what all your letters mean but I do understand bring a part of the big laughs and then retreating to a quiet place! We call it Tiffany time. (Very creative aren’t we?) I can teach or hang out but then I need to be alone. I have a 45 minute commute to work and it is the time I find my sanity. I’d like to brag that I spend that time wisely praying for this or that but lying to you feels wrong ;). I sing or listen to excellent pod casts like the big boo cast. And find myself.

    During the summer my beautiful children go with me to work. This means my usual hour and a half of heaven is taken over by the two from my loins. Joy is not the word that comes to mind.

    So, thank you Boo Mama for sharing your querk and helping me see that Tiffany time is a good thing. You can call it that if you want, it just might be a little weird.
    Joyfully full of it!

  23. Oh this is so familiar!!! I used to be able to be dropped in the middle of a crowd and I would find a new best friend in minutes! However I was introduced to the world of anxiety when my dear mama who was never sick suddenly passed 6 months after finding out she had breast cancer. The world suddenly seemed to be after me and a crowd of people looked scary! I tried the anxiety pills and decided I couldn’t live like that. I told God if He would help me then I would trust Him. It’s been 5 years and a lot of people think I am all kinds of extroverted because I head up the welcome center at our church where all new folks are sent my way. I teach Sunday school and loads of other things that put me in front of people. No one knows how my insides are shaking like a leaf most all of the time. When I need to get away from people I head to my beach. I live in Virginia Beach so it is about a 5 minute drive for me to forget the world exist. I read, I write, I pray or I just listen. However my hubby’s job is about to move us to Nashville so I am praying some sort of body of water will be available for my peace! If not God will have to entertain me with something good to help my introverted days ;-)

  24. I’m an INFP, like you. But I’m about as “I”as you can get. :)

  25. I have not an artistic bone in my body, yet LOVE to look at and study art so any time I’m feeling in need of a recharge, I head on down to the Art Museum (by myself – I buy a membership every year for my birthday as a present to myself!) and walk around and take it all in. It is sooo enjoyable and refreshing to me. :) I also love a “slow” morning…where I can wake up and sip my coffee and not have to be anywhere in a hurry. Recharges my batteries like no other :)

  26. Cracking up! I am an ISFJ. One time while I was visiting my parents’ house for the weekend, I was super exhausted from, as you would say, ALL THE INTERACTIONS. So I was literally sitting on my childhood bed staring out the window. No TV on, no book, no phone, nothing. My dad walked up behind me, looked at me, looked around, and said “Uh, are you just having a moment?” It was hilarious. Only a little embarrassing ;)

  27. Yep, I’m feelin’ your “I”. I love being with friends, laughing, talking, eating, etc. But then I REALLY need some quiet time to decompress. Didn’t realize this about myself until the last year or so. I’m nothing if not self-aware. Ahem.

  28. Oh. My. Word. I have no idea what I am on the Myers Briggs, but I do so LOVE my alone time. On the other hand, I really like being around people….only on my own terms of course! Being a minister’s wife, I do have to be around people on a regular basis and those times go without saying….church, Sunday school, choir practice, etc., but when I have a choice of whom I would like to spend time with, it’s usually family and very close friends. With two boys involved in sports and going in different directions most of the time, our “down time” is at a premium, so I do enjoy having nothing on the calendar. Now, when hunting season starts and my hubby takes the boys away for a couple of nights…..that’s when the clouds part and the angels start singin’ for sure! One thing I learned a long time ago when I was single and living alone was that I REALLY like my own company just fine, thank you very much!

  29. First, I have to say I was an introvert hipster, back when it was just called “shy”. I remember hearing once, after feeling all my life that something was wrong with me because I did not like social situations, that some people get recharged from being with people, others get recharged by being alone. Made me feel so much better about myself.

  30. Well…this was the weirdest thing. I just read your post and felt like you were describing me in a way I have never been able to do. Thank you!!!
    love your blog….

  31. Cyndie in Ohio says:

    To answer your question on coping I need quiet, no one requiring me to help them, napping is good, reading is very helpful or a favorite DVD with DH. I used to think I was being very selfish for needing this kind of time, but now I know it is necessary to recharge and be ready to serve my family, friends and all those whom God places in my life.

  32. I am an E/ISTJ. As crazy as this is, my husband is the exact same as me. We found this out at a marriage conference we were at and then found how unique we were since most couples were opposite in at least one. And here we were with both being E/I. All I know is that we met at work and we both did the same thing at work so I guess we should know that we are both very similar people who were able to work at a BANK for a good 6 years of our lives. And survive it. Yep. We’re just as wild and crazy as you would imagine. HA! With our jobs now, he is an E at work and wants to be an I when he gets home. And I’m now mostly an I at work and ready to be an E at home. Oh the irony. Anyway, I love your description of the E/I. I’ve never been able to adequately describe how I can talk a mile a minute one day and then the next be happy to be shut in my office all day long and not talk to anyone. I like to think that I’m a shy person by nature but that I’ve had to overcome that as an adult so I can be friendly and chat with anyone when necessary:) But to stay home in my pj’s? Oh yes. We ordered pizza for my birthday dinner (after a long day at work) because I didn’t want to go anywhere. (We did go out that weekend when I didn’t have to work a full day before dinner.) And now that I’ve used all my words, I’ll be quiet:)

  33. My introverted daughter recently read and recommended to me to read the book, “Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.”

    It explained SO MUCH. I knew we weren’t the only ones that could extrovert when needed.

  34. There are days, you know the ones, where after living as an extravert for too long, I have to come home, and sit in absolute radio silence for an afternoon. My daughter and I love to spend these days reading. The silence is pure rejuvenating bliss! Then I have to host a big football party with all kinds of greasy food to appease the extrovert in me. It is all about balance, right? My balance just happens to come from both ends of the spectrum!

  35. Yes. A thousand times yes.

    I spent the majority of my teenage years thinking I was a big weirdo. When I finally took the Myers-Briggs it was a beautiful thing. Turns out I was somewhat normal after all.

    My husband knows the look I get when I’m all done. We’ve all learned that if I can just walk away, everyone is the happier for it!!

  36. This post totally spoke to me! I sometimes confuse myself with my love of social gatherings, and subsequent exhaustion afterwards. It’s such an interesting personality trait, and I’m so thankful that I can now recognize when I need alone time to recharge.

    Speaking of college traditions, I also bleed maroon, but a different kind, since I’m a Texas Aggie. Whoop!

    P.S. I’m reading your book right now and I love it! Since I’m also a Southerner, your lovely stories have me laughing one minute and getting teary-eyed the next. You’re an excellent writer and an inspiration to me since I’d love to write a book someday.

  37. I’ve not taken the Myers Briggs myself, but I like a little of both…I love spending time with friends and family and always look forward to socializing. I also like a little down time once and awhile. My daughter, however, is an ESFJ – emphasis on the “E”! Too much time alone and she is pacing the floor like a nervous cat. I have literally watched her countenance change upon joining a large group of people. She has absolutely no fear of crowds, talking to strangers, giving speeches. It is quite amazing really. She’s never at a loss for words. I often warn her not to wear out her less extroverted friends!

  38. I can so relate to this! I work at an elementary school as a special ed para, which means I am with children most of the day. When it is time for my 30 minute lunch break, I have my lunch in a hopefully peaceful room, reading a book. I can’t go eat lunch with my co-workers. I have to have that 30 minutes of relative quiet to recharge so I can be nice in the afternoon. I like people, but they drain me, not replenish me. I love coming home and having quiet evenings (my kids are grown and gone).

  39. I surprise everyone I meet when I tell them I’m an “I”….and in fact, my “I” score is so high, I don’t even come close to touching the line of “E”. I find that in social situations, I am “on” and in return, when I get home–I need time to myself just to decompress. My husband is an “E” and we say we just balance each other out. ha!

  40. I’ve never taken a test, but I’m totally a social introvert. I love being with people, but I crash afterwards. I love having company or visitors stay with us, but it can take me a day or so to completely recover once they head home. But, at the same time, too much time to myself and I go stir crazy. Sometimes just window shopping at Target by myself and not talking to a soul is enough for me! Am I weird?! Actually, don’t answer that – ha!

  41. I’m an introvert whose husband works from home and I homeschool my seven kids. Put another way, I’m an introvert who is almost always desperate. My saving grace is nap time. I exercise and then I give myself some time alone in my room and I try to make myself do nothing productive. Usually I watch TV so I can silence all the voices in my head while the voices outside my door are fairly quiet. If we have company in the house, I have to be very protective of my words. As soon as our company disappears, even for a few minutes, I run to my room and flip on the TV, talking to NO ONE. If I can just get half an hour where I don’t have to interact with another human being, I can come out of my room and be totally fine. But if I don’t get some space, I will be begging for mercy come 8 p.m. and so physically tired I hurt. Interestingly, since having All The Kids, my husband who was once an extrovert has also become more introverted. My therapist says we actually do have a form of PTSD from all the little voices and noises aimed at our heads all the time. True story.

  42. I’m completely captivated by this subject, too. I’m an ISFJ all the way. Thank you Jesus that I married an extrovert! At parties, I gladly let him work the room, while I try to find one interesting person that I can “hide out” with, so that I don’t have to do or say something awkward and forced. Church is the same. I almost run for the door, hoping no one catches me to talk, and typically I’m in the car waiting for him while he talks and talks. Don’t get me wrong. I can talk all night with a few good girlfriends and love girls’ night out. But I must recharge with “me time”, meaning complete solitude. People have also mistaken me for an extrovert through my writing, or if I talk their ear off all night. But I never initiate conversations. Nice to know I’m alone :)

  43. Debbie Young says:

    I too long for Saturdays without leaving the house!!! Just finished your book A Little Salty to cut the Sweet. Thank you so much for sharing your “inside” view of my precious precious church friends I love so much. Mama Oiuda and Mr. Bobby and Martha are so dear to me, I’m so sorry I’ve not met you. And to correct one small error, there was no shade on the musicians at MA’s wedding. (I was the flute player). The 2nd violin suffered significant sunburn, and I also was jealous in a positively unChristian manner over MA glowing with not one drop dripping. Spent the last two days laughing out loud!!!! Hope we meet someday when you’re home!!!!

  44. INFP, borderline E and I. The very same! It’s so difficult because people peg me as an extrovert because boy can I ham it up in a crowd (of people I know and love, BTW. I do NOT prefer the strangers), but truth be known I love nothing more than an intimate dinner with my closest people or just being at home all BY MY DANG SELF.

    I’m about to get married and the toughest part? I feel as though I will never ever ever be alone, ever again.

    I do love him, though. He’s worth it. And he has a shop in the backyard so let’s be honest… ;)

  45. Wow – are there no extraverts in this bunch?! I just went to your older blog and linked to the Myers Briggs exam and took it. I’m an ESFJ and I feel like the odd man out with all your readers. I can’t take staying in the house all day on a Saturday – I feel like I’m being lazy and missing out on things. This happened last week until about 4 p.m. and I felt like I should be doing something – besides laundry!
    I get rejuvenated going my friends’ houses and a bunch of us of getting together. I like to get to know people and draw them out. It has taken a while but my husband now knows I’m usually going to visit with folks after church. He used to be one of the first people out the door, now I think he enjoys visiting afterwards. I don’t mind chilling at home a little, but my husband and I both like to invite people over to chill with us. Making other people feel comfortable in our home makes us happy and helps us recharge. Anybody else out there feel that way?

  46. Ah, yes. I cannot for the life of me remember my Meyers-Briggs score, but I am totally an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert. My job basically requires me to make small talk all the live long day, so on Monday (my day off, alone), I like to hole up with a book or the Real Housewives. I can handle their talking, for some reason.

  47. Just to really nerd it out for you, one is either introvert or extravert, there is no spectrum of introversion. What you described is that your energy has been depleted and to recharge, you must be by yourself. As an introvert, I too love to be social, but I can hit that wall that you described. I look back at college and all of my social activities and wonder how I made it, but I think as we get older we simply don’t care as much about what others think about our introvert need to go home and have a rest. I am not a dr but am pretty fascinated by this stuff!! Go introverts!

  48. Thought you might be interested in ready this article:

    It pretty much hit the nail on the head for me!!!

  49. Hello…let’s get matching jackets…and a secret handshake.
    Bring on the nap and the cozy blanket. I live alone and oh my the aloneness is amazing! After a day of work and meeting and volunteering and errands I do love pulling into the garage and putting the door down. And shutting the blinds so no one can tell if I am home.

    Sometimes I run away from home to recharge. Just get in my car and drive, now far, maybe get something to drink, find a new housing division and dream, drive past a cemetary where a friend is buried and oh the joy of time on a friend’s porch with her….all recharge me so very much.

  50. Glad to meet another Borderline E/I!

  51. I am the same way. Love people and chaos and FUN, but need to relax my brain, too. Sometimes that means I have to take a really long shower. No one follows me in there :)

  52. Andi Hunter says:

    I am an E/I NTP! I had the very same experience at a friends’ college during a fun weekend in the early 90’s, not late 80’s! I’ve always said I could be hermit 50-75% of the time, but then I would be very lonely the other 25%. It’s a good thing I am this way because I was an only child for 17 years! As someone above mentioned, I find great refuge in my bathroom, especially with 4 children and a husband roaming my house. & rooms full of strangers scare the bejeebers out of me, God forbid I have to speak in front of a crowd, that’s Chinese water torture, bamboo under the fingernails, and waterboarding all rolled into one for me. I do cherish time spent with a few close friends or my family, you know, people I’ve known just over forever. Love your blog Boo!

  53. Welcome, my sister INFP! I knew there was a reason I liked you alot!!!


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