1. Last week Melanie and I recorded a podcast that, I’m sad to say, was nearly unlistenable.

2. I’m not sure if “unlistenable” is a word. But I’m running with it.

3. And make no mistake. For us to decide that one of our podcasts is unlistenable* should be a sign of how bad it was. Because, as our friend Carol has said before, it’s not like the podcasts are really about anything in particular. We just sort of talk about some things for an undetermined period of time, and then we eventually stop talking, and I don’t really edit anything out unless I say “I mean” six times in a row or one of our doorbells rings (and sometimes I don’t even take that stuff out) or we say “I don’t know” too often when we’re talking about a topic where, well, WE JUST DON’T KNOW.

4. But the podcast was blah as all get out. So I didn’t post it. And I figured I’d write some stuff later in the week.

5. But then that last thing didn’t happen because work was still super lively and there were a couple of nights where I talked to my husband for a long time, and then one night I went to dinner with two darlin’ young friends who just finished their first year of college, and then suddenly it was Friday and I started reading a book and I figured I could always blog this week.

6. So Saturday morning I went to Panera to do some writing (book stuff and blog stuff), and after about an hour I realized that I didn’t really feel very well.

7. I kept telling myself that I could just push through, but then I realized that it might be odd to put my head down on a table in Panera, so I packed up and headed home.

8. Well, technically I stopped at Chick-fil-A first and picked up some chicken nuggets for my people. I also got some ice cream for myself because it sounded like it would feel really good to the sore throat.

9. Seriously. HOW ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS? I AM NEARLY ASLEEP JUST WRITING IT.

10. Once I got home, I delivered the nuggets and ate a couple of bites of ice cream and then I got in the bed and fell asleep and woke up about three hours later.

11. That is when I realized that I probably had some sort of virus.

12. So I went back to bed.

13. Short story long, I did some of my all-time finest sleeping over the next 36 hours.

14. Sunday morning, in fact, David said, “You’ve slept so much that you probably won’t be able to sleep at all tonight.”

15. However, not only did I take another nap after his prediction, I also managed to fall sound asleep by 11 o’clock last night.

16. Certainly I don’t mean to brag.

17. Somewhere in the middle of all the sleeping I managed to watch Saving Mr. Banks. I really liked it, but it was different than what I expected.

18. I didn’t really know that I had expectations, mind you. It just wasn’t what I thought it would be. But I enjoyed it.

19. And today I have felt so much better, though I have a cough that might win some contests.

20. However, at this time I don’t really have any plans to take my cough on the competitive coughing circuit.

21. We’ll have to save that dream for another day.

22. But, even though I sound like a cross between Lindsay Lohan and Carol Channing, Melanie and I are going to record another podcast again tomorrow, and our hope is that it will be utterly listenable.

23. FINGERS CROSSED.

24. Thanks for being so patient with me these last few weeks, y’all!

* – looked it up, and it’s totally a word, so naturally I am delighted

I didn’t have any intention of taking what turned into a week-long bloggy break. But work was very, um, lively last week, and I couldn’t seem to stay up later than about 9:30 at night, and I went out of town for most of this weekend, and then I came home and celebrated Mother’s Day with my fellas, and then I was going to write a really long blog post, but a little while ago Hazel got tangled up in some cords next our sofa and started to run and knocked a bunch of things off the end table and in the process broke my favorite yellow lamp.

Seriously. MY FAVORITE. It cost $10 at the thrift store and always made my den feel like sunshine.

This was the day I brought it home. I have to say that we had a mighty good seven years together.

RIP, Yellow Lamp. You will be sorely missed. And the yellow ottoman in the den isn’t going to know what in the world to do without you.

So. I’m going to grieve my lamp and watch Mad Men and try again with the blogging thing tomorrow. I think that Yellow Lamp would want it that way.

Hope y’all had a great weekend!

(And you should be relieved because there was a point a few minutes ago when I was considering making an Instagram collage with pictures I’ve taken of Yellow Lamp through the years.)

(I decided that might be pushing things a little too far.)

(I can’t completely rule out the possibility, though.)

Well, I just got home from my first-ever lacrosse game. Our high school was playing for the state championship, and since we know a lot of the kids on the team, we decided it would be fun to go to the game. And LISTEN. WAS IT EVER. We had a blast. It was hot as fire and I’m pretty sure that I may have gotten my first sunburn of the season, but it was so worth it. Our boys won, and I am tickled to know that there is lo, yet another sport that I enjoy watching.

Granted, I wasn’t really dealing with a shortage in that area, especially considering that we went to a high school baseball play-off game this past Friday night, and I spent most of the weekend following the State / Auburn baseball games on Twitter.

All I know to say is that my daddy trained me well.

But I will not bore you with additional talk of sports (except to say that the SEC baseball tournament is only 2 weeks away!) because we have far more important business to tend to today. And that business is this.

My friend Lisa-Jo Baker has written a fantastic book about motherhood. It’s called Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom, and I have so many good things to say about it. It’s beautifully written, it’s insightful, and (in my opinion) it’s just as much a love letter to Lisa-Jo’s beloved South Africa as it is to her kids (I was fascinated by Lisa-Jo’s strong sense of place because it totally parallels the way I feel about the South). More than anything, this is a book that beautifully chronicles the joys and the heartaches and the wonders of motherhood. It will warm your heart and feed your soul whether you’re a mom, an aunt, a mentor, a godmother, a grandmother, or a mom-to-be.

I’m so happy to be giving away two copies of Surprised By Motherhood (thanks, Lisa-Jo!). But there’s a catch: I’m only going to leave this giveaway open for 24 hours so that the folks who don’t win still have a chance to order it in time for Mother’s Day.

So. If you’d like to enter to win, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post, and just for kicks – since it’s spring and all – tell me your favorite flower. But if your allergies are terrible and your don’t really care for flowers, then tell me your favorite kind of chocolate. Or, I don’t know – just tell me something. WORDS OF ANY KIND.

I’ll close this giveaway at 10:00pm central tomorrow night and draw for winners ASAP.

Happy Monday, y’all!

This giveaway is now closed; the winners have been notified.

I have sat down to write this post at least eight different times, but Hazel has decided that tonight is a fine time to turn into a wolf/jackal. One of the lesser known qualities of the wolf/jackal is that it is happiest when someone is chasing it through the house and/or trying to make it come out from under the bed. It is also unusually fascinated by dryer sheets and likes to rummage through the laundry room (or the laundry) to find a stray sheet that clearly must be ripped apart immediately.

The wolf/jackal also barks incessantly while doing all of the above.

But now, finally, SHE SLEEPS. She barked one last time and then collapsed next to a pile of clean towels on the guest room bed. AS YOU DO.

And while I’d like to think that I could create some big connected story right now (with transitions and, lo, A POINT), I do not have that kind of brainpower tonight. So I’m gonna LIST IT UP and hopefully write some connected paragraphs next week.

1. Yesterday I got all of the bookmarks and bookplates in the mail, so those should be in your mailboxes in the next couple of days. I hope I didn’t mess up any inscriptions; I tried to be super careful and thorough and whatnot. However, if I made a glaring error, just let me know and I’ll do my best to get it fixed in time for Mother’s Day.

2. This video made me laugh so hard. I think there may be a little language in the first song – just FYI if there are little ears around. But OH, HAVE MERCY at the second song. Emma Stone is adorable.

3. Earlier today I convinced my fellas that we really needed to go to supper tonight – and then make a pilgrimage to a certain grand opening.

As you can imagine, it was like going home.

We also got tickled as we were walking in because just look how this car was parked.

It was like they just stopped in the middle of the parking lot and ran in. They were too excited to even pull in a parking spot. And listen. I GET IT. It took a year to re-build the store. A re-opening was cause for serious celebration.

Within five minutes I had an armful of stuff to try on. David, on the other hand, had found two packs of white undershirts and was ready to go. He and Alex must have been able to tell that I was off the charts excited to be back in my Steinmart element again, though, because they offered to walk down to the bookstore while I finished shopping. I tried to make the most of my time (though obviously I will have to make a return visit this weekend so that I can commit the new store layout to memory), and I found a couple of really cute things.

As an added bonus, the store was full of wide-legged linen pants, and after three years of digging through racks full of skinny jeans or straight leg jeans, my heart was very happy indeed.

4. For the last few weeks I have been trying to find a new dress. It has been one of the most frustrating clothing-related shopping experiences in recent memory because let me tell you what apple-shaped people don’t want in a dress: a drawstring or elastic around the waist. And let me tell you something else that apple-shaped people don’t want in a dress: a band of fabric running underneath the chest area. SO. I have decided that I am wearing maxi-dresses for the rest of my earthly days. What does the fashion industry have against a cute shift dress that hits around the knees? I don’t understand.

5. Thanks for being mighty patient with me this week. Hope y’all have a great weekend!

All righty. Sister has taken the Mother’s Day bookmark DRAWED ‘ER UP real pretty-like (I’m not sure what just came over me with all that “drawed ‘er up” business). These are the same favorite expressions that we’ve heard Mama use over the years – just in 8.5 x 11 form. Feel free to print at will. Or if printing isn’t your thing, then PINTEREST IT UP, MY FRIENDS.

(I’m starting to think that three days without blogging – and with a lot of envelope-stuffing and bookplate-signing and no small degree of tornado-watching – has started to affect my brain.)

(I do apologize.)

But speaking of signing bookplates: I’m mailing all the bookmark / bookplate stuff tomorrow. Tonight I just have to finish up the last little bit and then put on the return address labels because FANCY.

SO.

Just click on the link below, and it’ll take you to a separate page with the full-sized file that you can print or pin or whathaveyou. Hope y’all enjoy it – and thanks, Sister, for making it so fun!

Salty Sweet 8.5×11 Blog Print

…just as soon as I finish these little Mother’s Day happies.

I have gotten (and am getting) the biggest kick out of going through the spreadsheet (I KNOW! I MADE A SPREADSHEET!) (well, technically Google made the spreadsheet, but I PRINTED IT) and seeing where everybody lives. It’ll probably take me another couple of days to get everything labeled and mailed, but I’m making good progress and, as an added bonus, I’m catching up on Survivor as I sign the bookplates and stuff the envelopes. WIN and WIN.

And even though I’m taking a little bloggy break until I finish everything, I’ll still be on the Twitter and the Instagram. I mean, heaven forbid I should work on a project without checking my phone every once in awhile. That would just be wrong.

Hope y’all have a great week!