All righty, Office fans: we have us a brand-spankin’ new episode tonight, and that means, in the immortal words of Andy Bernard, “It’s on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.”

But make no mistake: I have my fingers crossed that Meredith’s too-short, strapless dress stays far, far away from tonight’s shenanigans.

1. “Occasionally I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing.”

2. “I will take your silence to mean that you’re all hiding something.”

3. “You know what I wanna do today? I want to marry you.” (!!!)

4. “When I was in charge, this place was like Dave & Buster’s.”

5. “Wittle Andy is afwaid.”

6. “And – all you can eat espresso.”

7. “Kevin, come.” “Kevin, stay.” “Stay, Kevin.” “Kevin! COOKIE!”

8. “Tell him I’m going dancing downstairs in the office that used to be a closet next to the utility shower and tell him he should join me there.”

9. “Can you please go back to work instead of masterminding these situations wherein we hurt ourselves?”

10. “I’m gonna need two able-bodied men.”

11. Kelly and Erin at Cafe’ Disco – sweet mercy.

12. “I’m not sure – but I’m pretty sure I’m in a dance-off.”

13. “He came in 9th at the Applecreek Derby. And his jerky came in 3rd the following year.”

14. “Look. I hate to be ‘that person,’ but I just don’t like the general spirit of music.”

15. “If these walls could talk, they would say, ‘This is a magical place. You are safe here. We are talking walls. We won’t eat you.'”

16. Andy’s Chair Dance (THAT WAS GOLDEN)

17. “What dance competition? I was just dancing casually with my friends, Y’ALL.”

18. “This is so cheesy. I like cheesy.”

Even though it was a little slow in the beginning, I thought this turned out to be such a sweet episode. The Dunder-Mifflin family is dysfunctional – but they’re family just the same.

And Angela even bounced her leg a little bit.

What did y’all think?

Now they say that tonight’s episode of “American Idol” is rock and roll night, but I’m hoping that there will be a broad interpretation of what constitutes “rock” because I’m not really much of a rock and roll fan and therefore would be very grateful if the contestants have a chance to branch out of the rock thang a little bit. However, to the AI folks’ credit, they’ve pulled in Slash as this week’s mentor, and he promises that “it’s gonna be a really good time.”

With each contestant singing two songs a piece, I reckon it will.

Adam Lambert – “Whole Lotta Love” – Y’all, I’m sure that people who know something about this kind of music would tell me that Adam’s performance was brilliant, but for me it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. There’s something about the tone of his voice that sort of makes my teeth hurt. Or maybe I just have dental issues. But regardless, this was not even a little bit enjoyable for me. Others seemed to like it, though, and I am delighted for them.

Allison Iraheta – “Cry, Baby” – I thought the verses felt a little jumbled and muddy, but the choruses were stronger. The biggest problem was that the song was boring. It didn’t give her a chance to show off her personality, and at this point in the game, we need to see that from her. Also: STOP ARGUING WITH SIMON.

Kris Allen and Danny Gokey – “Renegade” – A cappella beginning? Harmony? Duet? Band dropping out mid-way through with vocals backed only by drums? Why, it’s a perfect song! And even if it was a little uneven during the solo parts, it was great fun indeed. I wonder if Danny will let me borrow that necklace?

Kris Allen – “Come Together” – Honestly, I thought Kris might disappear in this song because it’s SO big, but in the end he held his own. And he actually made me like a Beatles song, which is nothing short of remarkable. Kris knows his strengths so well, and he found ways to play to those strengths in the middle of a genre that’s not really him at all. I liked it a lot.

[As we’re listening to the judges, I can’t help but wonder if the judges have made up their minds in terms of who they want in the finale and if they’re constructing their comments accordingly. I’m not trying to be all cynical, mind you, but what Kris did was WAY better than what Allison did, and he was even way outside his comfort zone, thankyouverymuch.]

[Bless his heart.]

Danny Gokey – “Dream On” – The first part was really engaging (and surprising, at that), but the end was a little rough around the edges. It was a bold choice for sure, and it should be enough to get him to the final three.

Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert – “Slow Ride” – They sounded good together, but at this stage in the show I was so outdone that my reaction was pretty much along the lines of Um, whatever.

Now. A brief rant.

The judges kept telling Danny and Kris that they know rock and roll isn’t what they do, but WHY PICK THAT THEME WHEN YOU KNOW THAT TWO OUT OF YOUR FOUR CONTESTANTS DON’T STEP ANYWHERE NEAR THAT GENRE AND SEMI-FINALS ARE A WEEK AWAY? Plus, with every other theme week, contestants could modify the songs to fit the genre they prefer (for example: disco week), but tonight everyone was LOCKED IN to the rock deal. I’m not so sure that’s entirely fair when you’re heading into semi-final week; let these people do what they do best by giving them some flexibility within the genre.

Also: what’s up with Adam getting to sing first and last?

Another also: what’s up with the reference to the “two seasoned rock stars” at the end? The “rock god” and “rock goddess” getting to close the show? Simon saying that Adam and Allison’s duet may give Allison “a chance to stay in the show”? And Simon not asserting who was the better of two with Adam and Allison after he totally threw Kris under the bus after his duet with Danny?

Fishy.

Honestly, I’m so outdone right now that I’m going to quit typing so that I can vote for Kris and Danny about 100 times a piece. A HUNDRED TIMES.

/end rant

What did y’all think?

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