Remember last week when I said I wanted to tackle this flowerbed?

I am happy to announce that IT. IS. DONE.

I mean, everything still has to grow and whatnot, but still. I feel we’ve made significant flowerbed progress.

I ended up using a hodgepodge of stuff from the clearance rack at Lowe’s (have I mentioned how much I adore the clearance rack at Lowe’s? I ADORE IT.) – the only full-price flowers were the impatiens, but they’re almost impossible to find on sale this time of year.

And I would now like to bore you with some up-close pictures of the stuff I planted.

And here’s my trusty helper.

Because when you’re planting a flowerbed, you always need a helper who is willing to spray water on every stationary surface within a one hundred-foot radius, and yes, that includes the helper’s mama, who, by the way, DOES NOT ENJOY HAVING WET HAIR IN THE OUT OF DOORS UNLESS THERE’S A POOL INVOLVED, THANK YOU.

So anyway.

I’m going to sit on the couch and read a book now.

And said book will not have anything to do with gardening.

Now do have a lovely night.

All righty, y’all – we have three winners!

171 – Stephanie
219 – Jessica R. (aol email)
230 – Vickie (hotmail email)

A person from Show Offs Art will be contacting you about your prizes – and congratulations, everybody!

1. The Flowerbed – I cleaned out the flowerbed Tuesday afternoon just like I planned. I did not get the new soil mixed in because I underestimated the amount of time it would take to PULL ALL THE MILE-LONG WEEDS.

So Wednesday we had a friend over, and yesterday it rained all day, and today it looks like it’s going to rain some more. But if it doesn’t, I’ll be tackling the flowerbed once again.

And since this is in fact an issue of critical international importance, I will be certain to keep you posted.

2. The Widget – I am very excited that I have a brand-spankin’ new way to keep you, the internets, abreast of my ever-changing-list-o-musical favorites. If you look over there to the left, you’ll see a widget from Amazon. And if you click the play button, you can hear clips of some of the songs I’m loving right now.

FAYN-CEE.

3. The Friend – Several of you have emailed me to ask if I actually got to see Heather the other night.

And yes. Yes I did. It was DELIGHTFUL.

I actually hurried home from church that night to try to get the house in some semblance of order before she came over, and after my mad cleaning spree I jumped in the shower because I’d been running around with a couple of five year-olds all afternoon and didn’t want Heather to think that I no longer viewed washing my hair as a crucial step in the hygiene process.

Well.

I dried my hair and rolled it with my beloved Velcro rollers (BELOVED, I TELL YOU. BELOVED.), thinking I had plenty of time to get my coif on before Heather arrived, only two minutes later the doorbell rang and there was cute Heather, standing on our front porch.

While I stood in the foyer sporting yoga pants, one of my husband’s oxford shirts, and about eight Velcro rollers all up in my hair.

And the first words out of my mouth?

“DON’T YOU DARE PUT A PICTURE OF THIS ON YOUR BLOG.”

That’s some twenty-first century friendship right there, my friends.

4. The Oven – Even though the service guy claims he didn’t do anything that would have fixed it, the oven no longer smells like fish.

Personally, I think he must have had a special oven-repair anointing.

And it is ever-so-delightful to be able to cook a meal without wondering if something has crawled up in the wall and died.

Just keepin’ it klassy, y’all.

5. The Get-Together – If you live somewhere in or around or within driving distance of Birmingham and would be interested in a little bloggy get-together, would you leave a comment and let me know? Several people have emailed me to say that yes! they would enjoy a social event! maybe a girls’ night out! for bloggers! perhaps with food!

And I’m all for it as long as I don’t have to plan it. Or cook for it. And as long as I can show up in my pajamas.

Oh, I kid.

6. The Weekend – Have a happy one, everybody!

I’ll be here trying to climb out from under a pile of laundry if you need me.

Heather called me earlier today to tell me she was making a quick trip to Alabama this afternoon so that she could visit with a friend. Heather and I have been trying to figure out a way to see each other ever since we got home from our Uganda trip – and we’ve even been in Nashville at the same time on two separate occasions – but our schedules have been at odds at every turn.

So when she told me that she was planning to be RIGHT HERE IN MY VERY OWN CITY tonight, I was beside myself. And I assured her that even if I had to juggle this and rearrange that, I would figure out a way to see her. We were way overdue for some live-and-in-person conversation.

Since our family had some stuff going on at church tonight, I didn’t have my phone with me when Heather called to tell me that she’d gotten to town. When we were finally able to talk, I explained that I’d run over to the church lobby to buy Alex a t-shirt for choir, only who am I kidding, it totally sounded like TAY-SHURT FAR KWI-IRE, and that is okay because I have made my peace with the fact that I will never be asked to do any sort of professional voiceover work.

Because I also say BU-OOK instead of BOOK, SAYAND-WITCH instead of SANDWICH, STAY-YUP instead of STEP, and now that I think about it I pretty much double the syllables of every single word I use. If the word has two syllables, I’m going to need four. If the word has four syllables, I’m going to need eight. And if the word has six syllables, well, the person listening to me is probably going to need either an extra measure of patience or a nerve pill because it’s going to take me a realllllly long time to say it.

So after I finished telling her all about the KWI-IRE, Heather told me that she and her friend were in dire need of some directions to a restaurant. I asked her where they were, and she said, “downtown,” and my stomach immediately dropped to my knees because I believe I’ve been very clear about the fact that I DON’T DO DOWNTOWN.

Oh, the local authorities might argue that our downtown streets are logically arranged in an easy-to-understand grid pattern, but I BEG TO DIFFER, SIRS AND MADAMS. You could put wedges of cheese on every single street corner, and highly attuned rats still wouldn’t be able to find their way out of that place. Simply put, it’s a maze all wound up in a labrinyth and tied off with a morass, THE END, THANK YOU.

But since Heather and her friend were wandering aimlessly along the downtown streets, I really wanted to do my best to help them. So when Heather told me that she needed directions, I told her to HOLD ON, PLEASE, I HAVE TO PARK THE CAR SO I CAN CONCENTRATE.

And that’s exactly what I did, y’all. I pulled into a shopping center and parked in front of Home Goods and put my head in my hands while I talked because I DID NOT NEED ANY DISTRACTIONS.

To make a long story short, Heather and I overcame our accent barrier (Southern California vs. plain ole Southern), and I was able to get her in the general vicinity of an area where some restaurants might have been at one point in time even if the restaurants aren’t there anymore. I was able to do this by saying things like, “You need to go UP, AWAY FROM THE HOSPITAL,” and then Heather would laugh and say, “Is that back toward Georgia? Or the other way?” and I would reply, “JUST UP, GO UP. AND THEN GO OVER TO YOUR LEFT.”

Really, I’m just like your GPS, only friendlier. And much more confused.

A few seconds after Heather and I hung up, she called me again to ask for the name of a restaurant. I was trying to tell her about a place called Bottega, but with my accent it sounds more like “BOW-TAY-GAHHHHH,” and Heather couldn’t understand what I was saying and thought I was trying to tell her about an Italian restaurant called Ortega, so I finally gave up on trying to say an actual word and resorted to just spelling it out: “BAAAAAAAAY-OOOOOOOH-TEEEEEEEA-TEEEEEEEA-EEEEEEEE-GEEEEEEE-AYYYYYYYY.”

Which was TOTALLY clear, I’m sure.