A few months ago I wrote about how I was waiting on some stuff related to some things. In fact, Melanie and I have been waiting together, and OH, the waiting we have done. Because there has been a lot of waiting. So much waiting, in fact, that we sort of forgot we were waiting because waiting felt so familiar. It was our new normal! And we were understandably thrilled.

Who wouldn’t be?

After all, holding patterns are fun.

Well.

Wednesday night I sent an email to someone who has been our Official Contact during the waiting. This person, an employee of A Large Corporation, has guided us through conference calls, planning sessions, more conference calls, more planning sessions, and finally, even more conference calls. In fact, I am a conference call expert now.

(Go ahead! Ask me anything! And I will tell you about the necessity of pressing pound after you enter your conference number and then waiting until after the tone to announce your arrival on the call. Because, you see, I have learned things.)

But Wednesday night? When I emailed our Official Contact?

I got a reply in about four seconds. A reply that informed me that our Official Contact – who is smart and professional and all-around wonderful – is no longer an employee of the Large Corporation. Clearly something was awry.

And then, Thursday morning, Mel and I received an email from the Big Boss. The email was very kind, very gracious, but the bottom line is that the deal is over. Done. Not gonna happen.

Internets, I will be very honest: I was none-too-happy about those developments.

Because any way you add up those developments from a financial standpoint, it looks like this: months of waiting + no deal – loss of potential income = WHOA, NELLIE, THIS IS GONNA SMART.

And any way you add up those developments from an emotional standpoint, the sum is pretty much the same: WHOA. NELLIE. SMARTING.

And that is why, around 11:30 yesterday morning, when I should have been running errands, I turned into a shopping center, parked my car next to Panera Bread, started to cry, called my husband, proceeded to cry some more, took my laptop into Panera so that I could tell the internets all about my troubles, realized that there weren’t any tables available, fought back tears, walked back out to the car, sat down in my seat, and cried some more.

So I guess you could say that I was a little emotional.

After all: WE WERE COUNTING ON THIS. Our families, in so many ways, have been counting on this.

But do you know what? Smack dab in the middle of what was no doubt one of the most draining 24-hour periods of my life, God gave me the gift of an absolutely incredible afternoon. My husband hugged me when I walked in the door and assured me that everything was for the best. My sister offered some mighty wise perspective via email, as did Emma Kate, whose email is now printed out, folded, and tucked away in my Bible forever and ever. I will treasure it for the rest of my life.

Emma Kate’s friend Jennie reminded me of the words to “He Leadeth Me” (which, by the way, will send you straight into the ugly cry, oh yes it will). Lysa called and was so encouraging that I actually contemplated running some laps or something.

Don’t worry. The lap-running urge passed. Aye, and quickly.

Then I picked up a little boy from preschool. He had clown paint all over his face, pizza all over his shirt, and a smile as big as the sun. He grabbed my hand as we walked to our car, and he told me it had been a GREAT! DAY!

Much to my surprise, I was starting to agree with him.

Mel and I talked later that afternoon, and we marveled at all the doors God has opened in the last year. We can hardly complain. My friend Daphne called to check on me, made me laugh until I wheezed, and agreed that while I’m in a different spot than I thought I’d be right now, it’s probably going to be a better spot than I could have ever imagined.

I asked her if there was going to be any cash money at this new spot. And then we laughed some more.

Then Janie emailed to check on me and to let me know she was praying. I went to Bible study, where we had an incredible time of fellowship as we studied passages on suffering (can somebody say, “I GOT ME A WORD”?). Alex had fallen asleep by the time I got home, so I crawled in his bed and kissed his little face. And I was reminded that there’s no “deal” this side of heaven that could compare to the joy of being that little guy’s mama. This I know for sure.

The rest of the night was blissfully ordinary: talked to the husband, watched some TV, chatted with a couple of sweet friends and giggled like crazy. By the time I went to bed, I felt like if I started counting my blessings, I would never, ever finish. There’s just no way to name and number them all.

So the stuff and the things? That we’ve been waiting on since April? Not gonna happen. Not now, at least.

But the body of Christ? Alive and kickin’, my friends.

And for now, that is all I need.