So. Would Anyone Like To Win An Oreck Vacuum?

8 January 2008 by

Now in fairness I should tell you that I do not personally own an Oreck vacuum cleaner.

But Sister does. And Mama does. And if you were sitting around with all of us at any family gathering, at some point you would get to listen to Sister and Mama talk about the Oreck vacuum cleaner because OH! it’s so light! and OH! it just cleans like you wouldn’t believe! and OH! I don’t know what I ever did without it!

Suffice it to say that they are fans.

In fact, when Oreck contacted me about hosting a giveaway for the internets, I happened to be sitting in Mama and Daddy’s living room. I said, “Hey, Mama – Oreck wants to give away a vacuum on my blog,” and no kidding, she practically jumped out of her chair and said, “Well, you’d be CRAZY if you didn’t!”

I guess it has escaped my mama’s attention that I am crazy, you know, REGARDLESS.

Oh, a mother’s love. It is blind.

Anyway, here’s a little information about the Oreck XL Ultra Vacuum Cleaner:

The Oreck XL Ultra makes cleaning a breeze – the vacuum weighs just 9 lbs. and lays flat to fit under beds and furniture, yet has the suction velocity of a category 2 hurricane to eliminate dust, dander, pet hair, pollen and even dust mites in a snap. A hypo-allergenic filtration system eliminates 99.9% of all allergens as you clean, unlike other bagless vacuums, which spread dirt and dust as you empty the canister. Oreck is so confident in the quality of the Oreck XL Ultra that they offer a 10-year warranty plus 10 annual free tune-ups to ensure that your Oreck will last and last!

And by the way, the Oreck XL retails for $499.95.

So you would probably be excited if you won.

If you’d like to enter this giveaway, here’s what you do:

1. Click here to check out the specifics of the Oreck XL. Please don’t skip this step. Or the internet police will be forced to give you a ticket (all together now: “So get! With it!”).

2. Come back to my blog, leave a comment and tell me which room in your house would benefit the most from a brand-spankin’ new Oreck (only one comment per person, por favor).

3. That’s all!

One little catch: you do have to be a resident of the continental United States in order to be eligible to win.

This giveaway will be open until Tuesday, January 22, 2008. I’ll use Ye Olde Random.org to draw for a winner.

Have fun, y’all!

This giveaway is now closed.

Filed Under: Bloggity Fun

The Only Drawback Is That I Can’t Seem To Get That Toto Song Out Of My Head

7 January 2008 by

Oh, internets. I do apologize.

It was never my intention to leave you hanging about the whole yellow fever vaccination thing. In fact, I was going to write about it over the weekend, set it to auto-post, and thereby make sure that all the yellow fever vaccination news that’s fit to print was ready and waiting for you first thing this morning.

But then my daddy WENT AND GOT SICK (one of my favorite Southern expressions), landed himself in hospital (one of my favorite British expressions, neveryoumind that I’m not British, because that is merely a technicality), and now the little man and I are about to make an unexpected trip to Mississippi so that we can see the patient and stay with Mama for a couple of days.

In other words: the best-laid plans, etc.

And y’all will appreciate this: Saturday night Daddy was in a tremendous amount of pain, the kind of pain that looks at over-the-counter pain medication and laughs maniacally, and when Mama suggested that they get to a doctor (aye, and quickly), Daddy told her that he couldn’t possibly go to the doctor because he was supposed to 1) sing in church Sunday morning, 2) count the collection after church, and C) serve as a pallbearer at a friend’s funeral today.

He couldn’t HOLD UP HIS HEAD, of course, but by diggity he had commitments. And he planned on keeping them. Yes ma’am he did.

So in the interest of GETTING ON THE ROAD, ALREADY, I’m going to temporarily take the easy way out and offer you some information in a lovely list format:

1) I need the yellow fever vaccination because I’m going to Africa in February.

2) Yes, I said Africa.

3) Yes! Really! Africa!

4) Specifically: Uganda.

5) And I’m going with Compassion International.

6) And I am so stinkin’ excited and nervous and excited and scared and excited.

7) I’m also tickled to death because Shannon is going, too.

8) And if you want more details sooner as opposed to later, you can click right here and read Shannon’s beautifully-written post.

9) I promise I’ll write more later.

10) But I really do have to leave now.

11) And if you think about it, please say a prayer for my daddy.

12) I believe that is all.

Love,
Me

Filed Under: Africa, Compassion, Rambling

I Know That The Internets Feel My Pain

5 January 2008 by

For the last few days Melanie has been keeping me updated about Target’s winter clearance sale. I promised myself that I wouldn’t buy any Christmas-related items until the prices were drastically reduced, so when Melanie informed me yesterday that her Target had put up the 90% off signs (NINETY PERCENT OFF, my friends), I felt like it was time to investigate.

So this morning, after eating breakfast at McDonald’s, our little family went to Target. We’d been there all of four minutes when I ran across this plate:

img_0985.jpg

I do hope you’re not blinded by all the adorableness.

And the cost? Regularly $2.99. But today? TWENTY NINE CENTS.

I bought eight of them.

As I was putting the plates in the cart, I explained to D. that these melamine plates are great for taking people cookies or candy during the holidays. He agreed that they were a deal, and after a few more minutes of listening to me talk about THE PLATES! THE SUPER-CUTE PLATES!, he murmured something about going to get some Starbucks.

Which is basically Man-Speak for “I think I’ve had enough of the shopping now.”

About ten minutes later, after the little man and I made our way over to the accessories and shoes because I am always on a quest to find the perfect Target tote bag, we spotted D. an aisle or so away. He walked over to us, handed me my coffee, and as we were wheeling back toward the kids’ clothes, I stopped dead in my tracks.

Because I saw these.

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CLEARLY THEY ARE DIVINE.

I said something like, “Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS.”

Then D. said, “You mean you LIKE those? Really? Hmmm.”

At which point I immediately thought that PERHAPS THIS IS WHY HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD NOT SHOP TOGETHER.

So I took a deep breath and said, “These shoes are adorable. They are everything I love. They have a big wedge heel, a funky fabric, and I would wear them all the time. ALL THE TIME.”

D. looked completely puzzled and said, “But they look like something from The Captain and Tennille Show in the 70’s.”

OHNOHEDIDUNT.

The fact that he had unknowingly burst my shoe bubble was bad enough. But I LOVED me some Captain and Tennille back in the day, y’all. And I would be tickled – yay, even honored – to wear any pair of Toni Tennille-reminiscent shoes. Even if her husband did happen to dress just like, you know, Captain Merrill Stubing.

So I took another deep breath. There was no point trying to explain the appeal of the shoes, because, I mean, how do you even begin to tell your husband – who was just making casual conversation and meant no harm whatsoever – that HE HAS STOLEN YOUR SHOE JOY?

God love him.

But you’ll be happy to know that I’m doing okay now. I really am. In fact, I’m hoping to fully reclaim my shoe joy sometime in the next day or two. Because I am more than a conqueror.

And make no mistake: I will return to the Target shoe department. Alone. And while I may be standing on a wedge instead of a rock, I will stand on that wedge proudly to win soles for Jesus. And to build my shoe kingdom.

Hallelujah and Amen.

Filed Under: Out Of Control

TRANS-FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRM

4 January 2008 by

Sorry. I realize that title makes no sense at all.

But after a morning of listening to the little man scream that very phrase AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, it’s the best I can do right now. I am embracing my limitations, if you will.

So.

How are you?

I have spent my morning on the telephone trying to get information about a yellow fever vaccination, and if that tidbit alone doesn’t tell you that my life has taken a bit of an unexpected turn over the last two or three months, then I don’t know what would. Because, oddly enough, yellow fever vaccinations are not really required when you spend the bulk your time happily ensconced in the suburbs of a large Southern city.

But as it turns out, I need me a yellow fever vaccination. Oh yes I do. And on Monday I’ll have more details than you ever wanted to know about why I need me a yellow fever vaccination.

I’m sure you’re trembling with anticipation.

Or, you know, ambivalence.

Whatever works.

And also.

I don’t know about y’all, but we were riveted by the Iowa caucus coverage last night. RIVETED. My husband is a bit of a political podcast junkie anyway, so he added some mighty fine color commentary as we watched.

And while I will probably never discuss my personal political views on this blog because WHY WOULD I DO THAT, WHY, THAT WOULD BE SO STUPID, I can tell you without hesitation that the English major in me absolutely loved listening to Mike Huckabee’s and Barack Obama’s beautifully crafted speeches.

Oh, the abundance of parallel structure and repetition made my little geeky grammarian heart sing.

(sidenote: There was a point in my life – probably after I watched The American President for the sixty-third time – when I dreamed of being a speechwriter.)

(But then I realized that I have absolutely no grasp of foreign policy, and besides that, I really doubt that any serious political contender would benefit from a speech that recounts Martha’s most recent Steinmart(s) excursion.)

(Because, say, a “Points of Light” metaphor isn’t quite as effective when the beacons are clearance racks.)

(And alas, my dream did die.)

Have a great weekend, everybody.

p.s. TRANS-FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRM!

p.p.s. I’m so sorry. It’s playing on a loop in my head.

p.p.p.s. The joys of motherhood, they know no bounds.

Filed Under: Rambling

And As A Result, All I Can Eat Tomorrow Is Air

2 January 2008 by

Today I took a little road trip BY MYSELF, ALONE, WITH NO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CAR, BECAUSE YOU SEE IT WAS JUST ME AND NO ONE ELSE.

Not that I’d been looking forward to a little solitude or anything.

(A brief aside: you know those personality tests? That determine if you’re an introvert or an extrovert? I’m always right smack dab in the middle. Which pretty much means that I get so energized from being with people that I can’t wait to be by myself and channel that energy into cleaning or writing or catching up on DVR’d programming or whathaveyou. And then I get so energized from alone time that I think, “HEY! WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE? I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THEM NOW!”)

(Oh yes. I am a veritable barrel-o-crazy.)

So I took a little road trip to see some of my oldest and most favoritest friends: Merritt, Liz, Melissa, Tracey and Elise. Tracey and Elise didn’t even know that I was going to be in their neck of the woods today, but they are such good friends that when I called and said, “Hey! I’m in town!” they replied with “Hey! Come on over!”

And so I did.

It was such a great day. Sweet mercy I love those girls.

I won’t bore you by sharing all the things we laughed about that no one else in the free world would find even remotely amusing, but I do want to share about, well, food.

Shocking, I know.

Liz, our own little Martha Stewart in the making, fixed a delicious lunch for Merritt, Melissa and me. She made chicken salads that were absolutely beautiful (and healthy, too), and she made two huge trays of Parmesan Crisps, one of which I’m pretty sure I ate all by myself, because I can always be counted on to negate any benefits of healthy eating by singlehandedly putting away AN ENTIRE TRAY OF CHEESE.

I’m a nutritional inspiration, really.

Anyway, since I’d already eaten that entire tray of cheese, I really didn’t feel too guilty about adding a little sugar to the mix. Liz always has great dessert treats at her house, and today I think I had my very favorite Liz dessert ever: Symphony Brownies.

Do you people know about these?

And if you do, WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME?

According to Liz, they’re super-simple to make – as I’m sure I will discover the next four or seventy two times that I make them. You prepare your favorite brownie mix, pour half of it in the baking dish, top with Hershey’s Symphony Bars with Almonds and Toffee, pour the other half of the brownie mixture on top of the candy bars, and bake according to package directions.

Then eat, praise Jesus, and repeat.

Also: even though we had a lovely lunch at Liz’s house and I had a large Starbucks once we left Tracey’s, Elise still managed to convince Merritt and me to eat some of her homemade gumbo around, oh, four in the afternoon. Because apparently we felt we needed a light snack.

I mean, it just made good sense to re-fuel after all the talking we’d been doing.

And then, when I got back to Mama and Daddy’s around 7:30, I felt the need to pay tribute to my time with my college friends, so I had Popeye’s for supper.

I even thought about taking my tribute to the next level by lighting some candles around my plate of fried chicken.

But ultimately I decided against it because I didn’t want to risk the grease fire.

I am nothing if not practical.

Hope your Thursday is filled with sweet friends, great conversation, and lots of laughs.

And chocolate.

And Starbucks.

And, well, gumbo.

And maybe even a little fried chicken, too.

Filed Under: Rambling

In Which I Want To Give Hawaii A Big, Chocolate-Covered Hug

1 January 2008 by

Alex and I are at my parents’ house for a few days so that I have a chance to catch up with some of my favorite friends in the whole wide world.

Not to mention that Alex needs to catch up on his caffeine and sugar intake. Which he’ll get to do first thing in the morning when Daddy takes him to McDonald’s for pancakes and Coke.

I believe that’s what people in health and wellness circles refer to as The Breakfast of Champions.

Anyway, Daddy and I are watching the Sugar Bowl, something that we’ve done at least twenty or twenty five times in my life. And as always, we’re cheering for the SEC team, which in this case happens to be the Georgia Bulldogs (not my usual brand of Bulldogs, mind you, but a fine brand of Bulldogs just the same).

But tonight, there has been a Sugar Bowl first in this house: I have uttered the phrase “Bless their hearts” more often than I have cheered for the SEC team.

You see, the game has been a bit of a mismatch; Hawaii has struggled like crazy against a mighty fine Georgia team. And when the Hawaii quarterback was sacked in his own end zone, I kind of wanted to cry a little bit.

In fact, I’m very tempted to go into the kitchen and make a big ole batch of brownies. Not that the brownies really have anything to do with the Sugar Bowl, of course. But nonetheless, I am very tempted to go into the kitchen and make a big ole batch of brownies. Because they would be delicious.

And saying “Bless their hearts” is much more effective when one’s mouth is filled with delicious chocolate-y goodness.

So.

Somehow I’ve managed to turn a post about the Sugar Bowl into a post about, well, sugar.

Totally planned, of course.

Ahem.

I do hope you’re not blinded by the rays of my blogging brilliance.

And when I say “blogging brilliance,” what I mean, of course, is “food issues.”

Happy New Year, y’all.

Filed Under: Rambling
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