Officially Abandoning All Hope Of Coherence

2 October 2007 by

Right now I’m sitting in a corner of my local Barnes & Noble, trying (unsuccessfully) to figure out how to connect to their trusted wireless network, watching Alex play with a Thomas the Train set and counting down the minutes until my computer’s battery dies because strangely enough, the Barnes & Noble children’s section doesn’t come equipped with a large array of electrical outlets so that mamas can “write” during storytime.

Have you ever heard of such craziness?

I had planned to take a couple of hours before Alex got out of school today and hunker down at Panera so that I could try to catch up on email and “write” a little bit, but I won’t be able to tell you about that just yet, because Alex wants me to read him a book now, so if you don’t mind please excuse me for a moment.

(Thirty minutes later)

Back again. Reading one book turned into reading three, one of which was a Backyardigans book that was clearly written by five year-olds who been supplied with excessive amounts of Coke and chocolate until they cranked out the most nonsensical plot imaginable, not that I have room to criticize, of course, because I believe my limitations with fiction are well-documented.

Also: it can get a little interesting when watching the boy in group play-type situations, because as I have mentioned before he is essentially a four year-old camp counselor, a self-appointed Funtime Organizer. He can’t begin to enjoy whatever task is at hand (in this case, playing with trains) until he has found out the names of all the other children AND parents, facilitated all the necessary introductions, and then made sure that the toys have been evenly distributed.

Needless to say, he’s not quite to the point where he understands that perhaps the reason why the mothers have brought their children to B&N in the first place is because THEY WANT SOME QUIET, ALREADY and would prefer not to have Mama/Child Meet & Greet followed by a round of shuffleboard over on the Lido Deck.

Or at the train table, as it were.

(Four or seven hours later. I’ve lost all track of time. But we’re home again. And the child is asleep.)

So, um, somewhere way up toward the top of this post I mentioned that I thought I would spend a couple of hours at Panera today, but I ended up changing my plans because my friend NK called and asked me to lunch, and of course I said yes because eating Mexican food with a sweet friend and our young’uns trumps checking email and fighting through writer’s (QUOTATION MARKS!) block every single time.

At lunch we had a great time talking about everything and nothing, and we especially loved listening to Alex and AC talk about their day at school. Being able to see each other every day has really added a sweet new dimension to their friendship, and they talk in a shorthand that NK and I don’t always follow but that cracks us up just the same.

Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant Alex and AC were giggling and chasing each other, and at some point Alex caught AC, wrapped his arms around her, hugged her tight and kissed her smack dab on the lips.

I gasped audibly.

NK and I looked at each other, both of us completely wide-eyed, and I proceeded to ask the most obvious question of my life: “Alex! Did you just KISS AC?”

“I DID, MAMA,” he replied, about four hundred different kinds of pleased with himself.

And just when I was about to tell him that he might be a little young to be kissing girls, AC leaned over and kissed him right back.

Then they cackled with laughter and started chasing each other again.

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Oh, I do love those crazy kids.

And while NK and I couldn’t help but grin at all their silliness, I’m pretty positive that we both left that restaurant with at least one more wrinkle than we had when we arrived.

I’m sure you understand.

Filed Under: Oh Howard, Rambling

This Post Is Nothing More Than A Vessel For My Rambling

1 October 2007 by

Earlier today I was on my way to pick up the little man from school, and in a fit of utter spontaneity I turned on the radio, something I hardly ever do because HELLO, THE IPOD IS MY BEST FRIEND.

And do you know what was playing on the radio?

Monk & Neagle!

On the radio!

Singing “The Twenty-First Time!”

On the radio!

I promise you that I smiled from ear to ear for at least a mile. I was so happy for the M&N boys that I had to call both D and Melanie to tell them all about it, and honestly, it all sort of felt like that moment in “Coal Miner’s Daughter” when Loretta Lynn hears her single on the radio for the first time.

Except that since I’m not in fact a member of Monk & Neagle, I wasn’t the one, you know, SINGING A SONG I WROTE.

And I also wasn’t eating a bologna sandwich.

(Certainly I recognize that the whole bologna sandwich reference probably doesn’t make any sense at all if you haven’t actually seen “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”)

(But still.)

Anyway, once I got to school I couldn’t wait to hear all about Alex’s day because this morning I had to send something that all the kids could smell, and I was just a little bit proud of myself for thinking to send some Gain-scented dryer sheets.

And just in case you’re feeling a little bit sorry for me because sending Gain-scented dryer sheets to school is the lamest idea you’ve ever heard, then I probably shouldn’t tell you that I came thisclose to sending a bottle of apple cider vinegar.

Because really, what could be a better hands-on tool to teach four year-olds about the sense of smell than the delightful aroma of some pungent, fermented cider?

It would’ve been such a fond memory for the youngsters, don’t you think?

But anyway, Alex had little to report about the dryer sheets (COFFEE BEANS! I SHOULD’VE SENT COFFEE BEANS! AND THIS JUST OCCURRED TO ME!), but he did have a LOT of details to share about a new game they played and also, he had a LOT of reasons why we did not need to run any errands after school.

His pleas fell on deaf ears, I’m sad to say.

We spent a couple of hours tackling a big chunk of my to-do list, and I’m happy to tell you that I came home with my most favoritest cleaning product in the whole wide world, and oh my word I know I have mentioned this product about nine different times, but if you have never treated yourself to the delightfulness that is Mrs. Meyer’s, please let me assure you that one spray bottle of her all-purpose cleaner will change your whole attitude about cleaning your kitchen because OH, THE LAVENDER FRESHNESS.

No kidding: it makes me want to clean my countertops with great compulsion.

I have the same disturbing level of emotion about this soap and this lotion, by the way.

However, I wouldn’t recommend using either of them on your kitchen countertops.

Seeing as how they might leave a bit of residue.

But in fairness, your countertops would smell fantastic.

Filed Under: Rambling

And Furthermore, The Weather Here Is Perfection

28 September 2007 by

Well, I guess I didn’t have to be afraid to tell the internet that I’ve been struggling a little bit, especially given that your responses to yesterday’s post were every possible combination of awesome. I appreciate your prayers and your emails more than you know.

I actually didn’t realize how much NOT writing about all the STUFF RELATED TO SOME THINGS has been weighing on me until I finally hit “publish post” yesterday afternoon – and I’m telling you, as soon as that post went up, the tears started to fall, and I cried all the way from Panera to Alex’s school.

By the way, I would not recommend listening to Watermark’s “The Purest Place” when one is in a highly-charged emotional state.

Because it will send you straight into the ugly cry.

Which can be somewhat awkward and unsafe while driving.

And all that to say: I just love y’all to pieces.

We’re going to lay low around here this weekend: plant some mums, wash some clothes, watch our beloved Bulldogs play South Carolina (not to mention Auburn vs. Florida and Alabama vs. Florida State), have some sweet friends over for dinner, and gear up for the fact that Sunday is my day to help with the three year-olds at church.

I may need me a special anointing for that last thing.

I’d love to go all-out this weekend and decorate the outside of the house for fall (seriously, HOW CUTE IS THIS?), but I know my personality. I would start off with the perfectly innocent intention of buying a few pumpkins to make some topiaries, and before you know it I’d be all up in the Michael’s trying to find pumpkin lights and fake fall foliage, only not the fake stuff that looks fake, because I would be very particular about wanting the fake stuff that looks REAL, and sometime around 4 o’clock Sunday morning D would have to physically remove me from the front porch because I would still be out there trying to artfully place some dried gourds along the steps.

I’m not very good with the HAPPY MEDIUM, you know.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Filed Under: Beloved Bulldogs, Rambling

A Title, If I Had One, Would Go Here

27 September 2007 by

So I’m sitting here in Panera Bread, hoping to maximize the little bit of time I have before I pick up Alex from school, trying to heed D’s advice to IGNORE MY EMAIL in the interest of getting some actual writing done.

(And I think we all know that the wri-word is totally in quotation marks in my head.)

(Because it’s the illusion of self-confidence, really, that matters.)

And for whatever reason, I feel that it’s very important for you to know that since my normal iPod headphones are broken, I’m sporting a pair of these right now:

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Thank you. Thank you so much. I know you are so proud.

And I feel fairly confident that any Panera patron who has caught sight of my sassy circa-1992 headphones would find it hard to believe that last week I actually wrote a couple of blog posts on, you know, FASHION.

The weird thing about sitting in a place like this is that you catch all these snippets of what’s going on with strangers. Just as I’m sure there’s someone peering over my shoulder and wondering “BOOMAMA? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS A BOOMAMA?,” I’m wondering why the woman across from me can’t hang up the phone long enough to eat her salad.

I’m also pretty certain that she’s not from around here because of her repeated use of the word “super,” and OH MY WORD SOMEBODY HELP ME BECAUSE I CANNOT QUIT STARING AT HER FOOD.

Anyway, the last few days have been a little nerve-wracking around our house, mainly because we’ve been waiting on some stuff related to some things, and I would be more specific if not for my ongoing desire to continue to bring you the best in Annoyingly Vague Information.

After all, this is in fact the blog where details go to die.

So the last few days have been filled with D and me sort of dancing around each other, pretending like we’re FINE! WE’RE JUST FINE!, but the truth of the matter is that we’re both sitting on pins and needles, and now I’m realizing that this is sort of making it sound like I’m pregnant, so let me just clarify that potential misunderstanding rightthissecond and assure you that no, I am not pregnant.

Because if I were I would probably liveblog the news via cellphone from my doctor’s office and then follow up with a Special BooBaby ’07 Podcast.

In case you were wondering.

So D and I have both been sitting on pins and needles because we’ve been WAITING ON SOME THINGS. And honestly, I’ve been really disappointed with the way I’ve responded to this situation, primarily because it’s one thing to say, “Oh, yeah, I trust God, He’s in control, Hallelujah” – but it’s something else entirely to, as Emma Kate says, put some feet to that thing. I’ve been a little ticked off with how my selfishness and my impatience have been exposed over and over again.

Because I just think that at some point I should get past all of that. At some point I should do better.

So while it’s true that I absolutely want whatever it is that God wants in my life and my family’s life, I’m realizing that my tendency is to want to know what He’s up to rightthissecond. And when I don’t get an answer within the timetable that I have deemed most convenient for our family, I question Him.

I’m sure God loves it when I do that.

And I really don’t know why I’m sharing all of this. It may fall under the category of TOO MUCH INFORMATION, MA’AM, COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP YOUR STRUGGLES TO YOURSELF, but what I’m finding during this particular season of my life is that it’s more and difficult to write about my usual brand of nothing when there is so much going on behind the scenes, when I’m basically unable to type because I’m so busy WRINGING MY HANDS FOR HOURS ON END.

So I guess I’m just asking that you would pray for us, knowing that this is not life or death, this is not a marriage in peril, and this is not a child who is sick with no hope of a cure.

This is just two people who are standing in unfamiliar territory, knowing and believing that God has led them to this place, but struggling with their all-too-human doubt just the same.

Yesterday we were about to sit down for lunch, and D asked Alex if he could remember his memory verse for choir. I didn’t even realize that they had been working on the memory verse, but this probably does not surprise you considering that I am a mama who finds herself stressed to the point of no return over THE LETTER BUCKET, of all things.

Anyway, Alex looked at his daddy, looked at me, and in the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard in your life, he recited Job 37:5: “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.”

To my credit, I did not collapse into a sobbing heap in the middle of the kitchen floor.

But I wanted to.

Because I know that it’s true.

And I know that He’s working.

And I pray that I would patiently trust Him – whatever His timetable might be.

Filed Under: Faith, Rambling

A Completely Unnecessary Update

26 September 2007 by

So apparently the new template was working beautifully for a little while, but then something went horribly wrong, no doubt as a result of my attempts to add some things to my left sidebar.

You guessed it: wonky.

For what it’s worth, everything still looked fine to me in Safari and Firefox, but apparently the blawg was so Picasso-esque in Explorer that Big Mama called me to say, “Um, I know this is going to send your OCD into orbit, but you seem to have lost your sidebars.”

Needless to say, I notified the professionals immediately.

And when everything is satisfactorily unwonkied (not a word, but it should be) I’ll put up the fall template again.

Because I’m sure all of you were terribly concerned.

Filed Under: Rambling

Needless To Say, I Feel Much Better About The Whole Suppertime Thing

25 September 2007 by

LAND SAKES ALIVE.

I had no idea I was touching on such a hot topic with the dinnertime rules and regulations and all.

But thank you so much for the great ideas. Y’all brought up so many “teachable moments” I had never considered before – especially the HUGE lesson of polite refusal / learning not to grumble about what mama has put on the table.

And on top of that, you have no idea how much I appreciate your encouragement to stand firm with P-Dub’s Suppertime Law. You’ll be happy to know that tonight we had fried chicken, and the only thing Alex didn’t want to eat was dessert. But that was just because he wanted to go back outside to ride his bike.

So I just wanted to take a minute to say YAY, INTERNETS, and I’ve enjoyed your comments so much that I feel like I need to ask another question so that I can soak up your collective wisdom.

Let’s start with something lighthearted.

So, um, does anybody have any thoughts on predestination?

I’M SO KIDDING.

Don’t even think about it.

And seriously, I haven’t asked Robin (My Official Book Club Partner) about this yet (HEY ROBIN!), but would any of y’all be interested in doing a little book club type thingy in conjunction with Katrina’s Fall Reading Challenge? Several people seem to have Peace Like A River on their lists – so I thought it might be fun if we all read it “together” and then post about it on the same day.

Or, you know, not.

But if you’re interested, let me know in the comments.

Finally, consider yourselves warned: I’m in the process of doing a little tweaking with my more fall-ish blog template before I switch over to it, and as a result of that I am alternating between my two templates approximately 346 times a day so that I can make sure nothing is looking all wonky.

And by the way, “wonky” is TOTALLY a valid technical term.

Filed Under: Rambling
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