I mentioned a while back that Melanie and I were going to speak at a women’s event in Charlotte, North Carolina, and we did just that this past weekend. I thought I’d never get my ducks in a row and be ready to leave town this past Friday, but somehow I did and made it to the airport with a little time to spare. The security line was unusually long, and I was a smidge worried about getting busted for carrying a gallon-sized plastic bag in my carry-on instead of a quart-sized one, but I made it through without incident and then enjoyed sitting all by myself (on one side of the exit row) all the way to the Charlotte. We were on a small, thirteen-row plane, and while I know that some people can’t stand a smaller plane, I enjoy the fire out of them because 1) you can gate-check a bag and 2) it doesn’t take forever to get off the plane. Sure, there aren’t any TVs in the headrests, and there’s no place to charge an iPad, but what a small plane lacks in terms of convenience it makes up for in efficiency. And that is fine by me.
After I landed I met the precious girls who planned the weekend (hi Sonia! hi Marti!), and Melanie arrived a couple of hours later. We’d never done anything like this particular event – we’d never gotten to tag-team with speaking – but oh my goodness, it was the most fun. I spoke Friday night, Mel spoke Saturday morning (and was awesome), and then after lunch we did sort of a live podcast-type thing with our favorite things and Q&A. We got to meet some of the sweetest women, and we had a blast all the way around.
I also think you’ll be proud to know that after everything was over Friday night, Melanie and I went back to my hotel room and ate Pretzel Crisps with French onion dip because KLASSY.
Once we finished up on Saturday, we headed to the airport, and we immediately sought out some very average Mexican food in the main concourse area. We sat down just in time for the Texas A&M / Auburn game, and I honestly don’t know what was more entertaining: watching the game or watching Melanie watch the game. We eventually had to leave so that we could go catch our flights, and when I landed in Birmingham, there was something like 30 seconds left in the 4th quarter of A&M/AU and some very! excited! texts from Melanie on my phone. I immediately checked to make sure that State had in fact defeated UT-Martin because YOU JUST NEVER KNOW, and by the time I got to my car in the parking garage (which, by the way, the parking garage at the B’ham airport is currently going through a renovation, and there is so much heavy plastic sheeting in that structure that it ever-so-slightly CREEPS ME OUT), I was fired up and ready for Alabama / LSU.
On the way home I got to listen to Eli Gold broadcast live from Death Valley, and between the full moon and the brisk air and the big-time game and the prospect of seeing my people, I was just FULL-O-LIFE-AND-WONDER. I turned off of the interstate thinking that there was absolutely nowhere on earth I’d rather be than Birmingham, Alabama, and I couldn’t wait to pick up some supper and get to the house and put on pajamas and settle in front of the TV to watch Les Miles eat some grass.
I pulled into our driveway just a few minutes after kick-off, and as soon as I got inside Hazel just lost her mind. It was like she had forgotten all about me but then realized OH, WAIT – YOU’VE BEEN GONE – and she jumped and licked and yelped and jumped and cried. She was so happy, in fact, that she tee-teed in the hallway, and I know that to be true because when I was walking down the hall to go change into pajamas, I slipped in said tee-tee and wasn’t at all sure what was happening until I found myself sprawled on top of the new rug that I bought for my foyer.
As it turns out, that rug is very cushiony.
But that rug, unfortunately, was not underneath my right ankle when I slipped.
Oh, y’all. I’m afraid that there isn’t a lick of grace or poise anywhere in me because it was evident pretty quickly that I’d put the hurt on my ankle. Some of you may remember that I took a weird step onto our friends’ porch a few years ago, and last night was that same level of pain except that this time (in The Great Tee-Tee Fall of Fall 2014, as I’m calling it) the pain and swelling are in a completely different place. My ankle is also way more burn-y, if that makes sense. I don’t have any idea if it’s sprained or broken or if I just jacked up some tendons and whatnot, but regardless we are headed to the doctor in the morning. I was hoping that if I just elevated and iced it and stayed off of it as best I could that it would be ALL BETTER today, but it still hurts a lot, and I have kind of a deep, nagging feeling that I may need a boot.
All that to say: I have spent all day today resting and icing and listening to Hazel snore. Bless her heart, she has pretty much stayed right beside me. I don’t think she has any idea that her overactive bladder was the cause of my fall, so please don’t tell her if you see her. I’m afraid that she’d just be wracked with guilt. I’ve probably overcompensated with her a little bit; I even gave her a special dog cookie that two girls in Charlotte (hey Meredith and Emma!) sent home with me.
So. I don’t necessarily think that this week is going to look like I thought it would. I was all geared up for a trip to Atlanta and IKEA tomorrow, but that’s not gonna happen. Fortunately I don’t have to work tomorrow or Tuesday, so that gives me a little more recovery time. And I think we all know that my Bulldogs have the biggest game ever this coming Saturday, so I’m hoping Coach Mullen won’t decide – especially in light of my tee-tee-related injury – to keep me on the bench. My team needs me, y’all – especially in Bryant Denny.
I promise that I smiled when I typed that.
BUT I’D SUIT UP IF THEY ASKED.











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