At some point I assume that I’ll have something relatively exciting to blog about, but unfortunately this is not the day for that. This is the day when I can tell you how yesterday I bought a cute vinyl table cloth at the Walmarts for $4.88 and am now using it as a fun little Christmas topper on our breakfast room table.

See?

RIVETING, I TELL YOU.

But for better or worse, the ordinary has just been the lay of the land around here. For the last couple of days I’ve worked for a little while, met friends for lunch, crossed some stuff off my to-do list, solved several of the world’s problems with Melanie and then watched a fairly impressive amount of reality television programming.

Oh! But wait! I ALSO WATCHED BASKETBALL.

Last night’s game wasn’t on UVerse, so I had to watch it on the computer, and SWEET MERCY WHY IN THE WORLD DOES THE INTERNET LET ME HAVE A BLOG? The next thing you know I’ll be talking about how I have a lime green rug in the playroom, followed up by an exciting update on Martha’s Latest Jackets.

All I can figure is that I’m pushing my way through a pesky bout of writer’s block, and at some point the mental fog will lift and I’ll have some thoughts about some things – and those thoughts MIGHT EVEN BE CONNECTED.

As it stands, though, disconnected is the best I can do, so I will share All The Disconnectedness with you at this juncture.

(Well, maybe not ALL of it. Just some of it.)

(If I shared ALL of it, you would be concerned for me.)

(And maybe wonder if you should try to contact my loved ones about the fact that MAMA’S SLIGHTLY OFF THE RAILS.)

1) I feel that Top Chef contestants are too dependent on the scallop. I get that scallops cook quickly and therefore lend themselves to challenges, but I don’t think there’s been a single episode where the scallop hasn’t been featured in some way. WHAT ABOUT SHRIMP?

2) Tonight’s episode of Survivor was weird. Lots of drama and icky emotional manipulation. IN MY OPINION.

3) Today I was trying to figure out my menu for Christmas. Do y’all happen to have any fun food traditions for Christmas that are slightly non-traditional?

4) Speaking of Christmas: – be sure to stop by and check out (and join in) all the pretty. Kelly is hosting another Christmas Tour on Friday.

5) I’m thinking about having a Miss America pageant viewing party here on the blog. It’s January 14th. Anybody game?

Okay. I think I’ve hit the point where I need to wrap it up and put an end to the misery that is this post. But at least I have my pajamas. And my DVR. Not to mention my sassy Walmart tablecloth.

I mean, if I have to have writer’s block, at least I get to wear flannel and watch strangers pick out houses overseas while I gaze at a tabletop covered with lime green and hot pink Christmas trees.

The end.

1. An early-morning catch-up conversation with Emma Kate
2. A mid-morning catch-up conversation with Melanie
3. Listening to the little man’s class sing Christmas songs
4. Knowing that there’s a little breathing room schedule-wise this week, OH PRAISE THE LORD
5. A very fun lunch with a very fun friend
6. The softest, coziest scarf ever – I have decided that it’s going to be my grown-up version of a blankie
7. Putting stamps on all our Christmas cards while I sat in the waiting room at the dentist’s office
8. Laughing with Sister about some funny Mississippi expressions
9. A husband who sat down in the middle of the bedroom floor to listen to me talk about my day
10. Beautiful branches with berries (thanks, Alison)

11. A blog post by someone I’ve never read before – and who I’ll definitely read again
12. Talking to my friend Elise on the phone and laughing so hard that I had to stomp my feet
13. Remembering Proverbs 29:25: “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.”
14. Watching last night’s episode of The Next Iron Chef
15. This room on Pinterest
16. Strawberry Orange Banana Crystal Light – it is deeeeeee-licious
17. Realizing that when some days feel a little more gray than others, God sometimes uses sweet friends to be the sunshine.

I’ve been so grateful for that sunshine today.

What are some happy moments from your day?

Well, I accomplished some goals over the weekend.

First of all, I addressed all of our Christmas cards Saturday morning. You might not think that’s a big deal, but the Christmas cards snuck up on me this year. It was only last Thursday afternoon when I thought, “WAIT! HOLD ON! MUST TAKE CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE,” at which point I called the young’un to the den, asked him to stand in front of the tree, snapped approximately three pictures with my phone and then called it a day for Christmas Card Photo Shoot 2011.

It was pretty much the polar opposite of 2003 when we gingerly laid a blanket on the beach at Gulf Shores and then did our level best to fill up the camera’s memory card in the hopes of getting the perfect shot.

This is just a small sampling, of course, but CLEARLY THEY WERE ALL SO DIFFERENT.

After I finished addressing this year’s envelopes, I patted myself on the back and then headed out to do a little Christmas shopping since I was looking for a way to really wind down and decompress on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. After all, what could be more relaxing than sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic and then navigating jam-packed parking lots? It was like a day at the spa, really.

I have to say, though, that it could have been a lot worse. The traffic was terrible, but I managed to cross off the bulk of my to-do list and afterwards I got to go out for Chinese food with my people. I’ve never really considered the egg roll as a reward for a busy afternoon of Christmas shopping, but after our exceptional egg roll experience Saturday night, I am definitely of the belief that YES. THE EGG ROLL IS A REWARD.

On top of all that, yesterday was about as relaxing as a day can be. After church we grabbed some lunch and then went to the grocery store to get a few things for supper (that’s how things go in the South, you know – we finish one meal and immediately start planning the next). More than anything I wanted to be able to STAY PUT once we got home, so I actually didn’t mind planning supper five minutes after we put down our forks at lunch. I had a greater good in mind, and that greater good involved putting on some pajamas and settling in for an afternoon of quality time with the DVR.

Hallelujah and amen.

My plan was totally successful, and as a result I am happy to announce that I am completely caught up on Revenge, Modern Family, Top Chef and Survivor. You can’t even imagine how much better I feel now that a considerable portion of my TV burden has been lifted. Granted, I’m likely to confuse plot lines if anyone asks me for details about any of the aforementioned shows, but I think it’s slightly plausible that Padma Lakshmi, in an attempt to avenge her father’s death, moves to a remote island with her son, Manny, and tries to punish her Hamptons neighbors through a series of high-pressure cooking challenges that are hosted by Phil Dunphy.

Makes total sense to me.

This past Saturday my fellas went camping, and oh, I had some plans. I was going to finish decorating for Christmas, write a couple of posts for Ree, watch the SEC Championship game, order sushi, write some more posts for this blog, catch up on laundry and clean out our refrigerator. Then I thought I might paint the house and re-landscape our backyard just for kicks. After I split an atom, of course.

My point is that I was feeling very industrious and goal-oriented and whathaveyou about my “home alone” time. So about 12:30 Saturday afternoon, I said good-bye to my people, shut the door, and here is what I did for the next 12 hours:

1) napped
2) finished decorating for Christmas
3) felt vaguely unsettled by all the quiet
4) watched the SEC Championship game
5) ordered sushi
6) washed four or nineteen loads of clothes

But alas, there was no writing. Not even a hint of writing. Not even a smidge.

There was no refrigerator cleaning, either, but for some reason I didn’t seem to miss that part as much as I missed the writing part. Go figure.

And once Monday arrived, I hit the ground running. I don’t blog about work because BOUNDARIES, THEY ARE HEALTHY AND GOOD, but I think it’s perfectly fine to mention that this week has been and will continue to be a little CUCKOO-KA-CRAZY, as evidenced by the fact that I just sat here for about five minutes trying to remember if today is Tuesday or Wednesday. And listen. For about two of those minutes I was totally convinced that it’s Wednesday and that I’d completely forgotten about Bible study, but then I realized it’s only Tuesday. However, the only reason that I realized that it’s Tuesday is because I looked up in the right corner of my computer and saw this reminder.

Basically that’s what things have come to around here: an increased dependence on calendars and calendar-related alerts. This morning I actually set the calendar on my phone to remind me about three different things at 4:00 this afternoon, and then I realized that I could set my reminders, too, so at 4 my phone pretty much screamed at me and I was all, “CALM DOWN, GLADYS – YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD,” but by diggity I checked a few more things off of my list, cooked supper, looked around the Facebook and the Twitter and then sat down here so that I could wonder what day it is.

But now I know.

See? I totally remembered.

Oh! I forgot to mention that Sunday night I watched all 16 1/2 hours of the bowl selection show on ESPN, and I’m now convinced that the whole bowl selection extravaganza is nothing more than an excuse for four grown men to sit around in suits while they watch 30-second college football highlights. It was perhaps the most boring 44 hours of television that I have ever witnessed, but I felt like I needed to stick with it just so I could make sure – MAKE COMPLETELY SURE – that State was headed to the Music City Bowl. Somewhere around hour 62 they mentioned that State was going to be playing Wake Forest in Nashville, and then they talked about our team for 15 whole seconds and the end.

So I guess what I’m saying is that while I’m tickled that State is going to a bowl game in a city that I love, the official announcement was a little anti-climactic. And in that respect I suppose that it has a great deal in common with, you know, this post.

Because sweet mercy at the boring. Can I offer you some coffee or some chocolate to make this experience more enjoyable? Or, better yet – a peppermint mocha?

What about an update on the day and time?

You’re welcome.

And also: TOMORROW WILL BE WEDNESDAY.

Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance to you and your naming-the-day-of-the-week needs.