And this time, surprisingly, the culinary object of my obsession is not fried chicken.

It’s granola.

I KNOW!

IT’S NOT EVEN FRIED, Y’ALL!

Now I’ve made granola before, but I tend not to try new granola recipes very often since I’m the only person in this house who enjoys delicious granola goodness.

Because clearly the other two people who live here are, well, crazy. They have no idea what they’re missing.

My friend Merritt knows of my love for the granola, and today she sent me a recipe that I couldn’t wait to try. Especially because D and Alex weren’t here for supper tonight, and Alone Time is my Prime Time for eating the stuff my boys don’t like (see: sushi, eggs, guacamole).

Once I saw Merritt’s recipe (it’s from Southern Living, by the way), I ran up to Target to get a few ingredients that I was missing, not to mention a little plain vanilla yogurt to eat with the granola, because everybody knows that one tablespoon of vanilla yogurt mixed with one-quarter cup of granola is the MOST PERFECT FOOD TEXTURE IN THE UNIVERSE, and now you must excuse me for a moment, because quite frankly I need to swoon.

Anyway, I made the granola a little earlier tonight, and it is absolutely the best I’ve ever had. It’s simple, filling and oh-so-yummy.

Quick Oatmeal Granola

Preheat oven to 350, then combine the following three ingredients in a small bowl:

1/4 cup honey
2 Tbsp. melted butter
1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Next, in a big bowl, combine:

1 1/2 c. uncooked regular oats
1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/3 c. sliced almonds (Merritt and I both added more b/c we adore the almonds)
1/4 tsp. salt

Combine wet and dry ingredients. Spread onto a greased baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes, stirring often.

I actually doubled the recipe because we have company coming tomorrow, and it worked great.

And this may make you feel just a little bit sorry for me, but I cannot wait to wake up in the morning – just so I can eat more granola.

It’s shaping up to be a delightful weekend.

Because you asked…

Mama’s Ice Cream Pie

1 package original Oreos
4 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1 gallon Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream, slightly softened
1 gallon Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream, slightly softened
homemade fudge sauce (recipe below)
strawberries, for garnish
fresh whipped cream, for topping

Crush package of Oreos in a food processor or with a rolling pin. Combine with sugar and butter, then press in the bottom of a Pyrex pie dish.

Sprinkle walnuts or pecans on top of crust.

Spread a layer of vanilla ice cream – about an inch thick – across the bottom of the dish. Follow with an inch-thick layer of chocolate ice cream, then another inch-thick layer of vanilla.

Which brings us to three inches of delicious ice cream goodness.

Place pie back in freezer to set.

Fudge Sauce

1/2 cup cocoa
1 cup corn syrup (we use Karo)
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup half and half
3 tablespoons butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Stir together all ingredients except for vanilla extract in a saucepan. Boil five minutes, then remove from heat. Add vanilla extract. You can store the sauce in the refrigerator if you need to – just heat through before serving.

To serve, cut in wedges, garnish with a strawberry and fresh whipped cream, then drizzle about two tablespoons of fudge sauce over each slice.

You won’t even believe how good it is.

Well, yeah you will. You’ll absolutely believe how good it is. Because any sort of sauce that has cocoa, corn syrup, sugar and butter is pretty much a sure thing.

Unless you try to eat said sauce over some ham.

In which case it will probably be none too pleasing.

Even though there are all kinds of pound cakes, Mama’s recipe is for the plain, old fashioned variety – without even a hint of almond extract (which is fine by me because I’m sort of eh about almond extract, anyway).

(However, when it comes to actual almonds, I’m a committed fan.)

So here’s the recipe for Straight Up Pound Cake.

You may rest assured that my mama doesn’t call it that.

2 sticks REAL LIVE butter (margarine is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN)
1/2 cup Crisco
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
3 cups cake flour (Swans Down is Mama’s favorite)
1 cup whole milk
1 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. baking powder

Now I have a little ‘splainin’ to do about my ingredients. First of all, I know Mama is going to look at this picture and say “REDUCED FAT MILK? IN A POUND CAKE? WELL, I’VE NEVER!” But this is the only milk in our house right now with the exception of several quarts of half and half. SO, my solution to this particular recipe dilemma is to use half a cup of reduced fat milk, half a cup of half and half, and in my mind that’s kind of like a cup of whole milk.

And.

Mama will not bake a cake unless she has Land O Lakes butter on hand. Which I do not. Because I bought, oh, eleventy four cartons of Publix butter when it was on sale a couple of weeks ago, and if I have an inferior pound cake product as a result of my Publix butter-buying spree, then I guess I’ll just have to live with that.

Life is filled with tough butter-buying decisions, y’all. And sometimes you just have to live with the consequences.

Also.

I’m just as sorry as I can be about those two sticks of butter being turned upside down in the picture. It’s driving me CRAZY, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. And I thought about re-staging the whole picture just to get those sticks of butter turned right side up for once and for all, but I really don’t want to have to explain to my husband why I’m re-staging a photograph of pound cake ingredients. Frankly, he thinks I’m plenty crazy as it is.

So.

First you butter and flour a tube pan; then preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

Mix your butter and Crisco until they’re good and fluffy. I was just about to the fluffy stage when I heard, “BUT HOLD ON, MAMA! I WANT TO HELP YOU!” – and lo and behold, my kitchen assistant appeared.

That’s a mighty sweet smile from someone who sounds like a seal, isn’t it?

And by the way, that’s some Food Network Chuck Wagon Cook-Off something-or-other in the background. You’ll be well-familiar with it by the end of this post because I think the chuck wagoners made it into just about every shot. Since I have mad photography skillz and all.

The next step is to add the sugar, and Mama always says to make sure you add it slowly. However, the “slowly” didn’t really happen for me today, because, um, have you ever had a four year-old help you add sugar to a standing electric mixer when there are cowboys and horses on the nearby television? Sugar is rarely added at a more rapid pace than it is under those circumstances.

And just FYI: the batter is much, much tastier than the cowboy’s expression might indicate. You’ll have to take my word for it.

Alex just wants to show y’all that he took the battery cover off of the remote. However, let me be perfectly clear that removing battery covers has absolutely nothing to do with baking a pound cake, and for that I imagine we’re all quite thankful.

Once all remotes are put away, the next step is to add your eggs one at a time, preferably while someone is cooking a steak on Food Network.

And then, if you’re Alex, you talk to the egg a little bit as it’s blended into the batter. Because you’re relational.

After the eggs are incorporated, your batter should be thick and able to hold its shape. And you’re going to want SO DESPERATELY to run your finger through the batter – you know, just to make sure that it tastes okay and all. Personally, I think it’s a very courteous and selfless gesture on your part if you do a bit of quality control at this juncture.

It’s actually quite responsible.

If you’re satisfied with the batter so far (oh, go ahead and take one more bite – just to be REALLY SURE that it’s okay), then it’s time to add the cake flour. You’ll want to add it slowly; Mama says that cakes turn out better if you incorporate the flour on a low speed and don’t overwork the batter.

And if you’re wondering why this last picture is such poor quality, it’s because I was adding flour to a mixing bowl with my left hand while holding a camera with my right hand and simultaneously asking a four year-old to PLEASE KEEP HIS HANDS OUT OF THE FLOUR BECAUSE MAMA IS TRYING TO TAKE A PICTURE FOR THE BLOG.

It was a tender mother/child moment.

So tender, in fact, that I didn’t get a picture of the next step: pouring the milk in the mixing bowl. I was just completely overcome by the sweetness of that whole flour-adding experience. Such a precious memory. I’m sure you understand.

But we regrouped, oh yes we did. Alex added vanilla extract with his left hand EVEN THOUGH HE’S RIGHT-HANDED, and clearly, MY GOODNESS, he’s a genius.

Meanwhile, on Food Network, someone is placing coals around a cast iron pot.

For some reason it’s very important to me that we’re all acknowledging what’s happening on the TV.

This is no different than, well, ever.

The last thing you do before you pour the batter in the tube pan is to stir in the baking powder. Mama INSISTS on stirring in the baking powder WITH A FORK.

Remember: stir in the baking powder WITH A FORK. If you try to be all cool and use a spoon instead, I suspect the cake batter will catch on fire.

This is only a hunch.

And then, provided that you’re not having to extinguish batter-y flames as a result of your devil-may-care-spoon-using-bravado, you pour the batter in the (BUTTERED! AND FLOURED!) tube pan. There’s no need to smooth out the batter or try to get rid of air bubbles; the batter is so thick that everything will even out once the cake is in the oven.

And just so you know: I’m totally on to Alex’s end game. He may have been all “Mama, I want to help you” and “Mama, you’re the best cooker cake in the whole wide world,” but make no mistake – he is a boy whose primary cake-baking objective was to lick the bowl.

I sort of respect that, actually.

Anyway, bake your cake for one hour and fifteen minutes at 325. It may need to bake a little longer depending on your oven; mine took about an hour and a half.

But the end result is absolutely worth the wait.

LOOK, Y’ALL! IT’S POUND CAKE MAGIC!

And it won’t be any time at all before the whole thing disappears.

Moriah emailed me to ask if I’d post the recipe for my homemade croutons (as seen in my random picture post a couple of days ago).

And so, to answer her: why yes, Moriah – I’d be delighted.

As a brief aside (oh, who am I kidding? I have never been acquainted with “brief” in my life, just as I have never been acquainted with “dainty”), I started making these croutons when I was doing a white flour / white sugar detox back in the spring. The homemade croutons have gotten me through some difficult, must-eat-something-crunchy-right-this-second moments. And I like to make them in smaller batches because I think they’re better fresh.

Come to think of it, I don’t really care for any food when it’s NOT fresh. Because as a general rule I tend to avoid, you know, OLD FOOD. On pure principle, really.

Anyway. The croutons.

8 slices stone ground whole wheat bread
1/2 stick melted butter
garlic powder
dried basil
dried oregano
dried dill weed
paprika
lite salt (just because that’s what we use at our house)
freshly ground black pepper
shredded Parmesan cheese

Cube bread slices and place in a large mixing bowl. Pour melted butter over bread and toss with your hands. If you think it looks like you need more butter, add it.

I will never, ever discourage you from additional butter usage.

I have no idea how much of each seasoning I use – we call it the “shaky shake” method around here because I typically let Alex shake the bottles until I say “WHOA.” But my best guess is that it’s about a teaspoon of all the seasonings and then 1/4 cup of the Parmesan.

Once you’ve added all the ingredients, toss the croutons again with your hands, and put them on a cookie sheet.

Bake at 450 for about 10 minutes or until the croutons are crispy.

Taste the end result and then say, “OH, HOLLA!”

Or not. It’s completely up to you.

But first, I give you a picture of my sister-in-law Janie frying some sausage.

No real reason for that. Other than the fact that so much pork product in one skillet made me a little giddy.

And yes. It’s true. I have no life at all.

None whatsoever.

So to make the fried green tomatoes like Janie does, you’ll need five ingredients:

5 green tomatoes, sliced about 1/4″ thick (unripened red tomatoes will work just fine if you don’t have the green variety in your neck of the woods)
1 cup Italian-style breadcrumbs
1 cup flour
4 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup olive oil (you may have to add a little more on your 2nd or 3rd batch)

By the way – you could certainly use bacon fat instead of olive oil. Of course, your heart might explode, but considering that I’m a person who JUST POSTED A PICTURE OF SOMEONE FRYING SAUSAGE, I really don’t think I’m in a position to be offering Helpful Hints for Coronary Health.

I’m just sayin’.

And now, a fried green tomatoes play-by-play.

As you can see, Sister is providing critical culinary support as Janie slices the tomatoes. Certainly you will want to have a second person in the kitchen as you begin to slice the tomatoes, as it never hurts to have someone looking over your shoulder when sharp kitchen utensils are in use.

Unless the second person likes to scream at random intervals. In which case he or she is really no help at all to the person doing the cutting.

Line up your flour, eggs and breadcrumbs near your stovetop.

IN A ROW, PEOPLE! IN A ROW!

Then pour your olive oil into a large, hot skillet.

While the oil is heating through, ask your sister to showcase all the lovely qualities of the skillet / cooking area.

This is also a nice time for the talent portion of the evening. I mean, if you’re into that. Or you can just move right on to evening gown. Totally up to you.

And then, we dredge.

Make sure to put the tomato in the flour first, then egg, then breadcrumbs.

You also have the option of doing a second post-egg / pre-breadcrumb flour dredge, but Janie went with the one-flour-dredge option. And you can’t argue with perfection, people.

This picture is what Paula Deen dreams of for every single one of us: a hot pan filled with a battered and fried vegetable. She’s built her entire career on this very premise, and I think she would be mighty proud of Janie’s work.

After about five minutes, you’ll want to flip the tomatoes, and when see their progress, you’ll have no choice but to say, “OH YES MA’AM.”

And here’s the first finished batch. Janie drizzles them with a little Vidalia onion blossom sauce, then tops the sauce with crumbled goat cheese.

I didn’t get a picture of the garnished tomatoes because I was too busy eating one right after another. Rapidly.

It’s some bonafide Southern goodness, y’all.