A Sixteen-Piece Box Of Popeye’s Chicken Would Clearly Be Magical

17 May 2008 by

A few months ago David told me about an online trend called unboxing. Initially I thought maybe unboxing was some new “go green” movement that encouraged people to give a gift without first putting it in a box (which would be a super-fun conversation to have with Martha, by the way, because she would think that not putting a gift in box is crazy! that’s just crazy! why would someone do such a thing? and what about the wrapping paper? the wrapping paper wouldn’t look nearly as good! not to mention the bow!), but that’s not what he was talking about at all.

Because as it turns out, unboxing is when people, some of whom might be classifed as a smidge geeky (and I mean that in the MOST POSITIVE SENSE OF THE WORD, OH YES I DO) take pictures (or video) to document the process of removing a new piece of electronic equipment from its box.

And then they post those pictures to their blogs.

Don’t believe me? Consult Ye Olde Google.

I’ve thought a good bit about this whole unboxing phenomenon for the last couple of weeks, and after trying my best to understand it, I’ve decided that it has to be a mostly-guy thing. Because from my decidedly female perspective, the process of unboxing, say, a new camcorder or a new cell phone is as far up on the thrill-o-meter as watching a two-day marathon of Hardcastle & McCormick or being forced to listen to a monotone lecture on car maintenance and repair.

But guys are different about that kind of stuff. I know this because my husband still has the boxes for every video game console he has ever purchased, including each individual piece of styrofoam that surrounded the actual console as well as the cellophane that was wrapped around the instruction manuals AND the twisties that corralled all the cords.

And do you know what? I’m sure that hanging on to all those boxes is completely worth it in the long run, because if someone walked in our house right now and said, “Quick! In order to diffuse a bomb that’s right outside your door, you have to pack up your Xbox so that it looks exactly like it did the very first time you opened the box,” MY HUSBAND COULD TOTALLY DO THAT, Y’ALL.

It’s no wonder that I feel so incredibly safe here. As I’m sure you can imagine.

Well.

This morning I opened up the pantry and spotted an item that I picked up at the grocery store yesterday. And when I saw that item and realized that it was still unopened, I thought, This, THIS is worthy of unboxing documentation. Forget the electronic stuff. This is WAY better.

And so I grabbed the camera and got busy.

You may want to take some deep, cleansing breaths to prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.

It is very special.

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Breathtaking, isn’t it?

I suspected you would agree.

Filed Under: Family Fun, The Interweb

An Embarrassment Of Musical Riches

1 May 2008 by

The first time I walked in our house, I eyed the sunken living room with wide steps on two sides, then looked at my husband and said, “If we buy this house, I want someone to come play the guitar in the living room. And I want for people to sit on those steps and sing. DO YOU THINK AMY GRANT AND VINCE GILL WOULD WANT TO DO A SHOW HERE?”

And we laughed because, well, I am insane.

But a few weeks ago, Emma Kate forwarded me an email she’d received from Trent Monk. Trent was hoping to line up some “living room concerts” in between bigger shows, and Emma Kate immediately asked him if he might like to play at her church instead. She was ecstatic when he said yes.

After I read EK’s email, I could not stop thinking about the whole living room concerts deal. And I also kept thinking about my love for Monk & Neagle, my iPod that is chock-full of their songs, and my deep desire for someone to play the guitar and sing in our living room. So I made the biggest no-brainer decision ever and emailed Trent to see if he’d like to do a show at our house.

(After talking with my husband, of course.)

(Because as a general rule it’s probably not a great idea to stage a real-live concert in one’s home unless all family members are on board with that particular proposition.)

So Trent said yes and David and I were thrilled and LO AND BEHOLD, about three weeks later, Trent showed up at our front door with his road manager Danny, and I promptly escorted them into the kitchen and fed them lots of lasagna. Then they set up everything they needed, and some people came over, and WE HAD OURSELVES A SHOW, Y’ALL.

WHILE I SAT ON MY LIVING ROOM STEPS AND SWAYED.

THE DREAMS, THEY DO COME TRUE.

It took Alex a little while to make sense of the fact that the guy on the Monk & Neagle CD in my car was the same guy who was sitting in the corner of our living room playing and singing his heart out, but once that five year-old mind put all the pieces together, he was ABSOLUTELY FASCINATED by the whole experience.

I’m telling you: his smile was approximately six miles wide.

In fact, after Trent finished the first song, “Into Orbit,” Alex apparently decided that he wanted to make the very most of his concert-going experience, because he raised his hand, stood up, walked into the middle of the living room and said, “Monk? Monk? Will you sing ‘Beautiful You,’ please?”

And Trent Monk did exactly that. While Alex sang along.

I totally cried.

A few songs later, Trent sang “More Than That,” and it was pretty incredible, my friends.


We had such a good time.

The day after the show Trent and Danny rolled out of their respective beds around the crack of noon, and they drank some coffee and checked their email and watched that week’s episode of “The Office” with us. Afterwards we sat around and talked a good bit about life and faith and grace and whathaveyou – then Trent and Danny loaded the truck so they could drive to their next concert.

We were sad to see them go. They were, in a word, delightful.

If you’d be interested in having Trent do a living room concert at your house or church, you should definitely get in touch with him (email me if you’d like contact info). He’s fitting in these kinds of shows wherever he can, and all you have to have is 1) some space where people can sit or stand 2) a bucket to take up a love offering (we used an Easter basket because we are very fancy) 3) a small table to set up some CD’s 4) another small table for Compassion packets and 5) a place for Trent and his road manager to stay.

And if you can help round up a crowd of folks to hear Trent play his music, all the better.

No doubt about it: you will have a blast.

Promise.

Filed Under: Family Fun, Jesus Music

We Love The Night Life, We Got To Boogie

10 April 2008 by

As a general rule, BooDaddy is not a huge fan of live music unless it’s the live music we hear in the church house on Sundays. I can usually convince him to go see Alan Jackson / Tim McGraw / Insert-Name-Of-Country-Artist-Here once every couple of years, but by and large, I’m sad to say, he is not terribly enthusiastic about a concert.

Clearly we are POLAR OPPOSITES.

I’m pretty sure that his lack of concert-going zeal developed during a trip to L.A. the first year we were married. We were visiting our friend Todd, and the three of us decided to go see a Very Talented Musician play in a Very Intimate Setting.

We were understandably giddy with the anticipation of a Very Memorable, Music-Filled Evening. So once we got to the show, we found a table and waited on the edge of our seats for Very Talented Musician to hit the stage.

But when VTM finally started his show, I knew we were in trouble. First of all, it was VERY LOUD, so loud that I didn’t just WANT a pair of earplugs – I LONGED for them.

Second of all, VTM played the same three very loud notes on a very loud electric guitar at slightly varying degrees of very loud vibrato. And I don’t know if I mentioned it but it was very loud.

And also, third of all: MONOTONOUS.

After about an hour, we couldn’t take it anymore. We left the show, and as soon as we stepped outside, D looked at me and said, “That was the worst experience of my life. That was awful. It made me angry. I did not enjoy it.”

And I was all, “HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? SPEAK UP! EARS RINGING FROM LOUD GEE-TAR! CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Needless to say, the night with VTM has become a running joke with us. And every single time I want to go to a concert, D says something along the lines of, “You know I don’t enjoy live music. It’s too loud. Because REMEMBER THAT TIME IN L.A.? IT’S A WONDER I CAN EVEN HEAR YOU TALKING RIGHT NOW.”

Strangely enough, the loud doesn’t bother him when he’s blowing up aliens in surround sound on the Xbox 360.

Funny how that works.

But over the last six or seven months, there’s been a bit of a turn in the musical tide in our house. D has really liked a lot of the music that people have sent our way, and he’s been much more willing to go to LIVE CONCERT EVENTS as a result.

And really, if you think about it, going to a concert has to be more fun than sitting here in the house with me while I ramble on and on about, among other things, Glory Revealed, Shane & Shane’s Pages, Monk & Neagle’s The Twenty-First Time, Matt Maher’s Empty and Beautiful, and last but not least, Everything Dave Barnes Has Ever Thought About Singing At Any Point In His Whole Life Ever.

And it just so happens that Dave Barnes was performing in our fair city last night.

OH, HOLLA.

So BooDaddy and I, we had ourselves a date. We lined up Alex’s favorite babysitter, unearthed a restaurant gift certificate that we’d forgotten about, and as soon as A. the wondersitter arrived at our house we hopped in the car and blazed down the road at a white-hot, lightning-fast speed of 30 miles per hour.

Not that I don’t absolutely love it, of course, when D drives at the speed of turtles while mamaws pass us on scooters.

Because his whole “stop and smell the roses” approach to ground transportation is utterly charming and endearing.

Really. I’m totally fine with it.

Really.

And after our leisurely two-hour, four-mile drive was complete, we ate supper at a very nice restaurant that had NAPKINS MADE OF CLOTH AND EVERYTHING.

Oh, it was fancy, my friends.

It was also free. And “free” is one of my favorite words in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

We had a lovely dinner, drove to the concert, and took our seats just as the opening act, needtobreathe, was about to start playing. You never really know what you’re going to get with opening acts, but may I just say? The needtobreathe? They were EXCELLENT. D and I both enjoyed them so much (they were loud enough, but not too loud, and apparently that differential is critical for BooDaddy’s optimal concert-going experience). Their song “Washed by the Water” is phenomenal, and I will be downloading it immediately, thank you.

And then – AND THEN – the tremendously talented Dave Barnes took the stage with his tremendously talented band. I seriously had a headache because I COULD NOT QUIT SMILING. I smiled and I bounced and I sang and I laughed. And my husband was right there with me.

It was so much fun, y’all.

Even if now I’m probably going to have to pay somebody some licensing fees or something because I posted a clip from the concert.

ONLY FOR YOU, Dave Barnes.

Well, or for Jesus.

But I don’t think he’s touring this spring.

BADABING! ThankyouI’llbehereallweek!

After the show we got to go backstage and talk to Dave Barnes and his beautiful wife Annie for a few minutes. Dave Barnes was warm and funny and gracious and unassuming, and honestly I wasn’t surprised by any of that because he is, after all, a good Mississippi boy.

Keep in mind that I know all about some good, unassuming Mississippi boys, because I married one, oh yes ma’am I did.

And that Mississippi boy I married? He absolutely loved the concert last night. He did!

So thanks, restaurant-with-cloth-napkins. Thanks, needtobreathe. Thanks, Dave Barnes-plus-your-fabulous-band. And thanks, husband-who-occasionally-drives-like-papaw-but-makes-me-laugh-really-hard.

It was a happy time.

Amen.

Filed Under: Family Fun

It Promises To Be A Delightfully Caffeinated Weekend

28 March 2008 by

When my husband walked in the door just a second ago, he handed me a bag from Publix.

Look what was inside!

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ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR COMMENTS. He said that so many of you mentioned it that we just had to try it.

So now, if you wouldn’t mind, I think y’all should leave comments about All The Great Meals Your Husbands Have Cooked On Friday Nights. The power of suggestion, you know.

I’m just sayin’.

It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?

Filed Under: Family Fun

Look! Something Crafty!

30 January 2008 by

After all of your sweet comments and suggestions on Monday’s post, I’ve felt really inspired to do a few things that will hopefully make my time in Uganda a little easier on the four year-old here at home. Alex and I have had some great bedtime talks the last couple of nights, and aside from the fact that he says he wants to go to Africa with me and find all the bad guys and fight them and put them in trash cans, his little heart really is becoming increasingly tender for the people on that side of the globe.

And truth be told, I’d sort of like to put all the bad guys of the world in trash cans myself.

Anyway, I’ve had big fun putting some of your ideas into practice. Bailey’s Leaf suggested that I take a Flat Stanley with me on my trip so that we could make a scrapbook (HA! HA HA!) with all the pictures when I get home. I LOVE the idea (aside from the whole making-a-scrapbook part, because OH, THE TWITCHING), so we have the beginnings of a Flat Stanley in the works.

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Only I’m calling him Flat Howard. Naturally. And we’ll be coloring him later this afternoon.

Elizabeth also had a fun idea. She suggested that I make a paper chain to help the little man count down the days until I get home, and I thought that oh-so-cool since time can be such a nebulous concept for a preschooler.

And y’all? To do this little craft?

I ACTUALLY USED YARN.

Somewhere in Colorado, Barb is clapping her hands.

I found a template online for a Valentine’s paper chain (oh, I realize that I could’ve drawn the hearts myself, but that could have possibly resulted in some sort of pencil-related injury), and after about two hours, I managed to cut out eight little hearts.

The things you do for your kids.

I also thought it would be neat if each heart had a Scripture reference on it so that when my hubby helps Alex take a heart off the chain every morning, they can read that verse together and say a little prayer.

Now, of course, I want to cry.

Excuse me while I compose myself.

All better now.

Alex asked me to put the chain in the living room, and I hung it over a painting because, well, that’s where the nail was. Here’s what the finished product looks like.

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Two crafts! Voluntarily! In one day!

THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED.

And clearly I am all done crafting until at least 2009.

Because between traveling overseas and MAKING THINGS WITH SCISSORS, quite frankly I don’t think I can handle much more.

Filed Under: Africa, Compassion, Family Fun

Wherein We Opted Not To Stay At Home And Lie Around

11 January 2008 by

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Alex has been talking about going to see “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” for WEEKS. So today I picked up the little man and his friend AC from school, grabbed them some lunch, and headed to the theatre (or, as A. says: “the-AY-tur”). We were there for the very first showing at 12:55 because THAT, THAT IS HOW WE ROLL.

I have no idea what that last sentence means, by the way. But it made me laugh so I left it. I believe that’s referred to as “editorial license.”

Anyway, I was almost as excited about the movie as A. and AC were because I really do love me some Veggie Tales. They make me laugh, and when A. was a toddler the Veggie Tales videos saved my sanity on many an afternoon. Bob and Larry are like old friends, old friends who used to entertain my child for ENTIRE THIRTY MINUTE INCREMENTS so that I could decompress from THE CONSTANT TALKING THAT NEVER ENDED BECAUSE THE BOY, HE USED TO TALK WITHOUT STOPPING EVER.

I don’t have to rely on Bob and Larry nearly as much these days, but still, we’re fans for life in our house. We couldn’t wait to see the movie.

And you know what? It did not disappoint. Both kids LOVED it. They giggled and guffawed and squealed. They sat way up on the edge of their seats during the action sequences and were totally absorbed in the story. And, when the movie was over, A. grabbed my hand as we walked down the stairs and he said, “That was a great show, Mama!”

AC totally agreed with him, going so far as to say that her favorite part was every single part. Which is some pretty high praise from a preschooler.

So if you have a free hour and a half this weekend, load up the kids and take them to see the Pirates. While this film is not based on a specific Bible story like previous Veggie Tales adventures, it is definitely allegorical, and grown-ups won’t miss the symbolism (the father is the Father, the help-seeker is the Holy Spirit, trusting the rock is trusting the Rock, and since you, the grown-ups, won’t miss the symbolism, I’m not exactly sure why I’m boring you with a list of symbols).

(Oh, I do apologize.)

In conclusion comma because I am all about a process, I asked A. to rate the movie for the internets. I gave him the following Terribly Scientific criteria as a guide:

1 star – didn’t like the movie much
2 stars – liked the movie a little
3 stars – liked the movie
4 stars – liked the movie a bunch
5 stars – liked the movie a big ole, super-huge bunch

You’ll be shocked to know that he gave it 5 stars.

Have fun at the picture show, interpeeps.

And have a great weekend, too.

Filed Under: Family Fun
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