Well, I don’t know about y’all, but for me yesterday was the day when the allergies showed up and said, “HELLO! WE ARE READY TO COME BACK INTO YOUR LIFE AGAIN!” I felt like I was rubbing my eyes and sniffing all day long. However, I am not complaining because there are actual flowers outside and a forecast that calls for real-live sunshine today. So basically I will take all of these things over, say, the month of January.

Also, I got very tickled reading your comments about paper towels. I am always being just a little bit silly when I post about not-so-serious stuff like that, but by diggity I do like my full-size paper towels (which are more and more difficult to find without some sort of design on them, and that, THAT IS ANOTHER STORY ALTOGETHER). Anyway, my informal assessment of the comments is that people with small children seem to prefer the select-a-size over the full size, and that makes perfect sense to me (smaller people, smaller messes). It did bring me some degree of comfort to know that my fellow full-size paper towel fans seem to share the tendency to become BLINDINGLY ANGRY when they accidentally get home from the store with a roll (or even worse: a CASE) of the select-a-size. So this has all been very enlightening.

Anyway. Here are some things and some links and some more things.

– For the last year or so I’ve admired Rachel’s sunset pictures on Twitter and Instagram (at some point I hope we get to go chase some sunsets together). She has taken some stunning photos from some of Birmingham’s best-known landmarks, and about a month ago, she created a website that I just love: Picture Birmingham. Many of her sunset pictures are there, but the best part is that she’s attached a greater good to those photos. You can buy prints or notecards, and here’s the best part: all profits go to The WellHouse, which is a ministry here in Birmingham that provides shelter, counseling, and so much more to victims of sex trafficking.

So. If you’re looking for a great gift or maybe something special for your house, remember Picture Birmingham. The prices are super-reasonable, and the long-term benefits to The WellHouse are even better.

– A couple of months ago I mentioned that I’m speaking at the Allume conference this year. Well, tickets are on sale now, and I just thought I’d pass along that info just in case any of you are thinking about going. It would be delightful to see some of y’all there.

– The next Secret Church is Good Friday, April 18, from 6pm-midnight.

Secret Church – The Cross and Everyday Life – Promo 1 from David Platt on Vimeo.

Tickets at our church are sold out, but there’s a simulcast option available, and if you have a group of at least five people, it is super affordable. Plus, it’s just a great way to soak up some rock-solid, Bible-centered teaching – and this year’s topic has so much practical application in the day-to-day.

– I imagine that most of y’all have seen Kevin Bacon’s entrance on The Tonight Show last week. But just in case you haven’t, please do enjoy. The part that starts around the 2 minute mark makes me laugh so hard and reminds me of junior high.

– Shellie and Trent Monk released a new CD called We Are The Monks this week.

(I know that’s a terribly small image. I couldn’t figure out how to make it bigger in iTunes. I do apologize.)

Anyway, this CD is so joyful and soulful and good. Trent and Shellie’s harmonies are fantastic, and their message about love and truth and Truth is even better. For $7.92, this CD will brighten your whole week and make you want to see these two perform live and in person. Big thumbs up from me.

Hope y’all have a great Thursday!

First of all, chew toys.

Now granted, that was an odd way to start a blog post, but several of y’all asked about the magical chew toys that I mentioned yesterday, so I’m going to pass along that information before I forget. I’m not exactly sure how helpful this information is going to be, but I hope it’s specific enough that it can radically change your dog’s chew toy life forever.

I am exaggerating. Those are some high and potentially unrealistic hopes.

However comma the chew toys we’re using are called bully sticks (I think?), and I bought them at Hollywood Feed here in Birmingham. At our store they’re in a basket up front. They’re about 6 inches long, and they have three qualities that I like a lot: 1) they don’t upset Hazel’s stomach 2) they don’t have an odor and 3) they’re not messy. They seem pricy at first (they’re $5.98 each), but for a medium-sized puppy like we have, one chew stick will last her several days (and at night, when she’s getting tired, she will chew on one for two or three hours – she means business). There are larger chew sticks – some of them even braided – so if you have a larger dog, you can join the fun, too.

Here’s a chew stick (after a little puppy wear and tear):

Here’s Hazel with said chew stick:

These things saved my sanity at the beach. And come to think of it, the chew stick is saving my sanity right now because HAZEL ISN’T BARKING.

Second of all, pens.

Over the last year I’ve grown deeply attached to the Pentel Sign Pens. I prefer the blue but also use the black a good bit. I order them by the box from Amazon, and every single time I let someone borrow one, the reactions are like an infomercial:

“Why, I never knew that writing with a pen could be this much fun!”

“Wait! It’s like a marker, but it writes like a pen!”

“I only used this pen one time, but already I look 15 pounds thinner!”

(Maybe not so much with that last one.)

If you are particular about your pens – and if you don’t mind writing with a pen that isn’t super-fine – I think you will really enjoy these. We use this type of pen for voting in our county, and that’s how I discovered them. Also, I am sad to say that I can’t resist a pun saying that it was love at first WRITE, and oh, I do apologize for that.

I have found the best prices for these pens at Amazon. And that’s not an affiliate link. In case you were wondering. Though you probably weren’t.

Third of all, paper towels.

This past Sunday night I ignited a firestorm of controversy (slight overstatement) (the reality is that about eight people responded) (but “firestorm of controversy” sounds so much more dramatic, don’t you think?) with the following tweet.

True story: I am deeply annoyed by select-a-size paper towels. TRUST ME, paper companies, w/ my paper resources. I PROMISE I AM CAPABLE. :-)

— Sophie Hudson (@boomama) March 23, 2014

And y’all, it’s true. Those select-a-size paper towels make me insane. We’re talking high levels of deeply irrational anger. It just seems like one of those things where a company feels like they solved a problem that wasn’t really actually a problem at all. Because if I want a smaller piece of paper towel, I CAN TEAR IT OFF. Plus, over the years I have developed very specific folding techniques for a full-size paper towel, and those methods don’t work as well anymore because the perforations make me feel like I’M FOLDING IT ALL WRONG.

As you can see, the select-a-size paper towels have filled my life with difficulty and also confusion.

So. If you are comfortable sharing, I would like to know your feelings about the select-a-size. The eight people who weighed in on Twitter were mostly in the GIVE ME MY REGULAR PAPER TOWELS camp, but that might just be because those of us who do not care for select-a-size tend to be a passionate, opinionated people on this subject.

That being said, I trust that we’ll give each other a wide berth of grace as we examine this potentially divisive issue.

But if it gets heated, we could always order some pens or gnaw on a chew toy.

That’ll calm us all down in no time.

I made myself stay away from the blog for most of last week because I was really trying to focus on the new book. Honestly, I’m glad I did because the new book and I bonded a little bit. We have a way to go still, but yay for (mostly) uninterrupted writing time and the luxury of being able to think and the sound of the Gulf coming up on the shore. These are all very good things.

It was also a very good thing to have Hazel for company during those first few days when I was by myself. She is very much a puppy and sometimes makes me feel like I’m in the middle of Marley & Me; she loves trying to tip over trashcans and pull toilet paper off the roll and bark loudly and frequently for no discernible reason.

But she is cute as a button. And she is smart as a whip. And she is funny as all get out. Except when she’s biting.

So last week, in order to document the cuteness that is Hazel, I went a little overboard on Instagram since I wasn’t blogging here.

For example.

Before we left Birmingham, the folks at the pet store told me that there was a certain kind of chew stick that wasn’t bad for her and would keep her occupied for hours. Well, they were not kidding. Hazel and the chew stick bonded like crazy, and when she finally finished it (seriously – it was two days later), she looked all over the condo trying to find it. She was sad and despondent. And I became very co-dependent and enabling and WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME WITH THIS DOG I DON’T EVEN KNOW MYSELF ANYMORE.

And then there was her deep and abiding love for one of the chaise lounges on the balcony. I’d sit in the chair beside her and type and type – and she would faithfully sit in her little spot and sun and sun. She loved it out there. I like to think that the Gulf calmed her.

My friend Alison drove down to the beach with her boys Wednesday afternoon, and they were kind enough to bring my boy with them. He and Hazel were thrilled to see each other, and she still has not left his side – not even Thursday afternoon when he took a very uncharacteristic nap.

And here’s my favorite. Friday afternoon I was sitting on the couch, trying to write – and I decided to walk out on the balcony to check on Hazel, who’d been in her usual spot. As soon as I stepped outside, she ran inside and jumped on the couch. When I followed her inside, this is what I saw.

I’m sorry. But that is a pretty adorable dog.

So anyway. I don’t want to bore y’all to death with Hazel this and Hazel that, but she has been the sweetest addition to our little family. I’m mighty grateful to have had such a fun week with her (thanks to Scott and Rose, the best condo-sharing in-laws ever).

And I’m not even bitter about how she destroyed my favorite flip-flops. Or how she drank out of my coffee mug. Or how she attacked the hem of my yoga pants. Or how she tee-teed all over my foot in the elevator.

If she starts to go after my bacon, though, we may have issues.

We were coming home from the beach on Saturday when we crossed over Murder Creek, a part of our Birmingham -> Beach -> Birmingham route that always leaves me with a slight case of the shudders. Honestly, I don’t know what it would hurt to change the name of the creek to something slightly more pleasant (though I did understand the history of the name a little better once I looked it up on the Google). It just seems like it would be more fitting to cross Sunset Creek or Shoreline Creek or Palm Tree Creek or SOMETHING.

But Murder Creek? WELCOME TO PARADISE, KIDS.

Anyway, I was trapped in my need-to-rename-Murder-Creek reverie when we passed a rest stop south of Montgomery, and y’all, that place was COVERED UP. There were cars and people everywhere, and even though it was the beginning of or end of Spring Break for lots of folks in Alabama – which means there was more traffic than usual on the roads – I was just as fascinated as I could be. We rarely stop at rest stops; it’s not that we have any big fundamental problem with them, but we’ve just formed other travel habits over the years. I do remember stopping at a rest stop with Alex one time when he was little and I needed to change his diaper, but for some reason I felt very isolated and maybe even sort of afraid. Ever since then I’ve stopped mainly at convenience stores and fast food places, and I have a standard place where I like to stop – and where I feel safe – on most of our regular routes.

For example.

On the way to Nashville we stop at the Starbucks in Athens, AL. On the way to Starkville we stop at a BP in Columbus, MS. On the way to Atlanta we stop at the Starbucks in Oxford, AL. On the way to Memphis we stop at a convenience store in Winfield, AL. On the way to Mississippi we stop at a Texaco / McDonald’s right outside of Tuscaloosa. If we need to stop again there’s a Burger King in Livingston, AL.

But rest stops? Not so much.

So Saturday afternoon I mentioned my rest stop fascination on Twitter, and several people mentioned that they love a good rest stop since it gives their kids a chance to stretch / run around. It made me realize that we’ve never taken a super-long road trip as a family – a five-hour drive is probably tops for us – and I’ve certainly never planned ahead enough to pack a picnic lunch in a cooler. This last thing probably has more to do with the fact that I don’t really enjoy eating outside because BUGS, but as I read people’s Twitter comments, I felt like there’s this whole little piece of Americana that I’ve missed by not embracing the rest stop option.

So. I’m curious. Are y’all rest stop people or not? Do you even go one step further and pack a cooler of sandwiches and drinks before you get on the road? Or do you subscribe more to my method of having certain places where you like to stop for a few minutes before you move it on down the road?

I will be certain to compile our results into charts and also graphs.

Okay. Not really. But I am sure to be riveted by your answers nonetheless.

I’m at the beach for a few days, trying to catch up on some writing, and I brought Hazel with me so that I’d have a little bit of company. What this means is that I’ve spent most of today looking at some variation of this –

– which means that I’ve had to dig deep in the chew toy treasure chest that I brought down here with us. It hasn’t helped that it’s stormed all day long, so I couldn’t take Hazel outside for longer than about five minutes because 1) rain and 2) wind. I wish I’d taken a picture of her early this morning when the wind was whipping off of the Gulf like crazy; she didn’t not understand that particular natural phenomenon and finally just sat down in the grass and looked at me like, “NO MA’AM – I AM NOT A FAN OF THIS.”

However, I am happy to report that she’s sleeping now. And I think we can all agree that IT IS ABOUT TIME.

Since it’s just gonna be Hazel and me for the next couple of days, I have approximately zero plans to do a lot of cooking. That is why I arrived here armed with plenty of cheese and crackers. I’ll throw a rotisserie chicken or some sliced turkey in the mix every now and again, but by and large it’s gonna be cheese, crackers, and probably some roasted asparagus because heaven forbid that I go more than three days without an asparagus fix. That would be terrible.

Anyway, there are three kinds of crackers in attendance with Hazel and me (no, wait – there are four if you count the good, old-fashioned Triscuits), so I thought I’d highlight the pros and cons of each since I spent the last hour telling Hazel to quit trying to bite my toes and I’m really starting to doubt if I’ll ever finish the chapter I’m working on.

(This is one of those situations where I’m making light of it but seriously questioning my judgment in terms of bringing a puppy on a writing trip.)

(It has been a lot of barking, y’all.)

(So I’m going to talk about crackers in the hopes of lowering my blood pressure.)

(If talking about crackers doesn’t work, I may try to scrounge up a nerve pill.)

1. Blue Diamond Almond Nut Thins – Smokehouse

These crackers really do taste like the Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds. It’s the same smoky flavor, and while they’re a little bland on their own, they’re delicious with any sort of spinach-artichoke combo. They’re also really good with parmesan cheese. I like this type of cracker a lot (a sesame or nut thin), and these don’t have the weird flavor that some of them do.

Will I buy them again? Yes.

2. Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers – Sea Salt

First of all, I can’t help but be tickled when a cracker’s brand name is Crunchmaster, and these crackers definitely live up to the name. They’re great for dipping but even better with cheese, and they’re a perfect cheese ball cracker (yes, there is such a thing) because they’re on the smaller side and don’t crumble. Every time I serve these, people comment on how good they are and want to know where they can buy them. I’m assuming that there are other flavors, but I don’t think I’ve seen them at the Publix.

Will I buy them again? Yes.

3. Cheez-It Grooves Zesty Cheddar Ranch

I bought these crackers on a whim because, well, I am powerless over a new Cheez-It product. I normally don’t like anything Ranch flavored (other than Ranch dressing, of course – and those Snyder Buttermilk Ranch pretzel bits) because it always tends to taste so artificial, but I took a chance on these because like the old John Lennon song says, “Give Cheeze-It a chance.” Or something like that. Unfortunately, though, I really don’t care for these (grieves me to say it, it does). They taste almost fruity to me (maybe I’m drinking too much Crystal Light while I’m here?), and I can’t imagine wanting to dip them in anything. I’m just a Cheez-It purist, I think.

Will I buy them again? No.

So there you have it – my deep thoughts about crackers. And in all seriousness, I sure would appreciate your prayers over the next few days. I’m not sure if lots of writing, lots of rain, and an active puppy are the most ideal mix. But if Hazel will cooperate and I can knock out a couple of chapters, I’ll let her have ALL the crackers before we go home.

Not really. But I will get her a new chew toy. And surely that will be at least as good.

Okay. This will just be a quick list-o-goodies because I’d hate to break my recent streak of being in the bed by 10:00 – but all of these things have made me laugh in the last 24 hours. In fact, I may watch / read again before I go to bed just so I can laugh one more time.

1) Dave Barnes‘ karate video

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2) Celebrity Photo Bomb on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

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3) My friend Joni’s blog

In high school my friend Joni and I wrote epic – and I do mean EPIC – notes. We would write pages and pages, and I am here to tell you that there was nothing that could make a Monday better like Joni handing me a four-and-a-half page note before I headed into first period. And here’s what blows my mind now that I’m an adult: WE DIDN’T GOSSIP. We just wrote about whatever made us laugh on TV or the funny noises our cars were making or what our mamas had cooked for Sunday lunch or how we got wet-your-pants tickled because somebody sang something operatic at church.

Well, for the last four years or so I have been begging Joni to start a blog. So has half of our hometown, for that matter. And I am just as thrilled as I can be that 2014 has become THE YEAR THAT JONI STARTED BLOGGING. Her blog is called Motherhood and Muffin Tops, and it is delightful. It’s funny, down-to-earth, and basically just a pleasure to read.

Yay, Joni!

4) Kevin Bacon Explains the 80s to Milennials

What he says about Russia? I tried to explain that very idea to some of my favorite 17 year-olds last week.

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5) Lyndsay Rush on Twitter

She’s consistently hilarious, and oh, I do appreciate that in a person.

All righty. It’s now 9:30. I’m just telling you that so that you can rest in the peace of knowing that I will in fact make it to bed by 10:00 without 20 minutes to spare.

THE STREAK CONTINUES.