For almost a year now, I’ve known that June 4, 2013 would be the day when this little book made its official debut.

And honestly, I’ve been thinking off and on all day about all the Heartfelt Sentiments I hoped to express in this post. I mean, I’ve carried this book around in my head and my heart for the last two years, and now some people may read it, and just thinking about the process of it all – not to mention how supportive my family has been – left me very reflective and weepy for most of the afternoon. Combine that weepiness with the fact that I am mildly terrified, and the end result is sort of a paranoid sentimentality that leads to a very tenderhearted series of unrelated thoughts. That’s why I actually sat in my car during Alex’s golf lesson this afternoon and tried to force my brain into organizational mode and figure out how to best communicate my feelings about June 4, 2013.

But then, for whatever reason, I decided to look at the Google and see if June 4th is any sort of holiday.

This is exactly the kind of thing I do when I’m starting to feel overwhelmed, by the way. I actively pursue diversion, and once I find it, I embrace it with my whole heart.

LISTEN AND LEARN, YOUNG PEOPLE.

And seriously, I really do get that jumping on the Google wasn’t the most logical course of action considering that I was hoping to Say Meaningful Things. But I feel like everything has been book, book, and more book lately, and I finally reached a point where I thought, Surely I can find some other reason why June 4th might be a significant date in my life.

And y’all, I could not have anticipated what all the Googling was going to teach me.

For starters, June 4th is Embarrassing Ailments Day. As someone who has suffered for most of her life with embarrassingly small ear canals as well as unusually high arches in both feet, I cannot tell you how much peace and comfort I find in knowing that there is an entire day devoted to the recognition and dare I say CELEBRATION of a host of little-known but occasionally shame-inducing ailments. I’m not sure who decided that this day should be A Thing, but well played, whoever you are.

On top of that, June 4th is Applesauce Cake Day. In the South we don’t make a whole lot of applesauce cakes, though I do remember one time when my friend Jonna made a cake and used applesauce instead of butter to cut down on the fat content (I was certain that she was a culinary genius, not to mention more disciplined than I’d ever thought about being), but if you are a fan of Applesauce Cake, Tuesday is your day. Maybe you can cook some pork chops and watch that Brady Bunch episode and then sample a variety of applesauce options. Before you eat your applesauce cake, of course.

But here’s THE BEST PART.

June 4th is also Frost Your Hair Day.

CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?!?!?!

I mean, do you have any idea how many frosting kits I have purchased over the course of the last 25 years? (Well, not counting the last four years when I really have tried to avoid the home hair coloring.)

For a split second I really did wonder if I should commemorate the book release by sliding on one of those highlighting caps and giving my roots a little bit of a touch-up. After all, Frost Your Hair Day only rolls across the calendar once a year, and I’d hate to dishonor the date, especially when I don’t have another hair appointment for about three weeks and my roots are starting to be a source of embarrassment.

(Which works out well considering that it is in fact Embarrassing Ailments Day.)

(Though I don’t know if a failure to frost really qualifies as an ailment.)

(But considering that I count my high arches as an ailment, YES, ROOTS, YOU FALL INSIDE THE AILMENT BUBBLE.)

So, see? I LEARNED SOME THINGS today. And while I guess I’ve managed to sidestep a randomly arranged series of heartfelt sentiments, I do want y’all to know that I am deeply grateful for all of you, and I have been incredibly humbled and blessed by your encouragement. A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet may be the only book I ever write, but for whatever it’s worth, it comes straight from the center of my heart. I am so thankful that I got to share some of my family’s stories, and I hope that you’ll see your own family – whether it’s the family you were born into or the family you’ve chosen – as you flip through the pages.

And more than anything else, let’s all please remember to give June 4th the honor that it’s due and devote some quality time to our ailments, our applesauce cakes, and frosting our hair.

If you’re feeling especially kicky, you might even celebrate all three.

But by all means, pace yourself. I just read that June 5th is Fly A Kite Day.

You certainly don’t want to overdo it.

Love,
Me

I know that I rarely post on Sundays, but for the last 24 hours there’s been an issue that I haven’t been able to get out of my head or off of my heart, so I figured I’d take a few minutes and blog about it. Maybe the process of writing will bring me a little clarity. Or at least it’ll help me vent.

Last summer I started to realize that there was a tendency – a trend, if you will – that was troubling to me on a lot of levels. I thought maybe it was a short-term deal, something that would run its course in a couple of months, but I’m realizing that this trend isn’t going anywhere. And I feel like I need to speak up about it.

Here we go. I’ll say this as plainly as I know how.

*deep breath*

Dear Grown Men of the Universe,

Love,
Everybody

Because SERIOUSLY, Y’ALL.

And please understand. I’m not talking about undershirts. I’m not talking about work-out shirts, though I’m a little EWWW in that category, too. I’m not even talking about a loose-fitting something-or-other that a man throws on before he goes to the pool or the beach.

I’m talking about, well, stylish tank top options. I’m talking about what Peach says that her sons refer to as “bro tops.” I’m talking about Cool! Let’s go to the movies! Hold on while I throw on some shorts and a tank top!

I’m talking about this.

And listen. I get it. The weather gets hot. Tank tops can be comfortable. Plus, if you’re a man who works out a lot, you may see wearing a tank top as an excellent opportunity to invite the general public to your own personal gun show.

But FOR THE LOVE, PUT ON SOME SLEEVES.

Because here’s the bottom line, at least for me: what’s going on underneath a guy’s arms is his own personal business. I don’t need to be privy to ANY OF THAT.

I brought up this issue on Twitter yesterday, and I appreciate what Amanda had to say about the male tank top trend.

That’s a hard word. But it’s a good word.

And clearly I’m (mostly) kidding about this whole thing, but the kidding doesn’t change the fact that I’m not really a fan of grown men going sleeveless.

So what do y’all think about the bro tops? Yay or nay?

Nothing in this post is going to be connected. I feel like I should warn you about that from the get-go. But I just can’t. Because this week has already been four months long, and my brain is all a-jumbled (pretty sure that’s not even a word), and I couldn’t tell a story in sequential order right now if somebody paid me large sums of cash money and offered me free fried chicken.

– I’m watching American Idol while I’m typing this, and when Ryan announced that Kree was singing “All Cried Out,” I thought he was talking about this song.

Listen. I was a child of the 70s and 80s. It stands to reason that “Apology not accepted / Add me to the broken hearts you’ve collected” would come to mind.

Powerful lyrics. I think we can all agree on that.

– I’ve mentioned before that I like to cook a hot breakfast in the mornings. It’s something that my mama always did, and for whatever reason, it’s something I enjoy doing (unlike laundry or unloading the dishwasher or cleaning out closets). So I think it speaks to my level of STICK A FORK IN ME that today I bought a four-pack of blueberry muffins in the grocery store bakery, and all I’m saying is that BREAKFAST IS SERVED for the rest of the week.

– As far as snacks go, I’m in a banana with peanut butter phase right now. And I’ll take some Bing cherries for a back-up. Even though I don’t like cherry-flavored anything (pie, candy, beverage, lipgloss, you name it). I just happen to adore Bing cherries. In the words of Peter Cetera and Chicago, it’s a paradox. Full of contradiction. How I got from there to here, it defies a logical explanation.

– Earlier today Dave Barnes linked to a video that has made me laugh all day long. It’s a parody of 80s church music. And while yes, that’s a very specific parody, the combination of Amy Grant music and some say-weet synthesizers (along with very dramatic vocals) has tickled me to no end. The last 20 seconds are brilliance.

– Speaking of Amy Grant, her new album is a DELIGHT. It’s for sale in all sorts of places (iTunes, for instance), and there’s one particular song with James Taylor that makes me weepy every time I listen to it.

(Oh, look! Another YouTube video! Sometimes the Internet makes life so very easy.)

– Before I forget, let me say this: thank you so much for your incredible response to the sale at Nations Outfitters. Y’all are awesome.

– Tonight we had Bible study on my friend Mary Jo’s screened in porch, and her flowers were so gorgeous that I had to grab my phone and take a few pictures. So, so pretty.

Yes. I am 109. And apparently I would like to start a garden club.

Happy Thursday, y’all.

p.s. I’m just starting to get bits and pieces of weather news on Twitter, but North Texas folks, you’re in our prayers.