Honestly, I’m Somewhat Concerned about my ability to stay awake during tonight’s episode of “The Office.” It hasn’t just been a long week. It’s been a looooooong week, and the sleep, OH how the sleep does call me. But since I love to laugh even more than I love to sleep, and since I almost always laugh a lot when I watch “The Office,” well, TV WINS AGAIN!

As well it should be.

Amen.

1) “BOW DOWN BEFORE RECYCLOPS!”

2) “I thought you was killed by Polluticorn.”

3) “God bless you, Cyclops, and your cold, robot heart.”

4) “Don’t do the twirl.” // “Lose the twirl.”

5) “A limousine is something that a company sends when there is cause for celebration. And in this case, I think we’re celebrating me.”

6) “That’s like what high school kids take to prom on TV shows.”

7) “Ah. Your eminence.”

8) “…I wanted to swing by the garment district and pick up a few crates of my shirts.”

9) “How is he gonna have grandkids?”

10) “I’ve always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel.”

11) “I’m sorry. These are not criminals. They are nice. They invited me to come here today. They invited me to their hospitality suite, where I had free food, and it was delicious. You know how nice they are? They sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton.”

12) “It’s a 45 day, 45 point, 1 point per day plan – we get to 45 points, we’re back in business! And you can take that to the bank! And little old lady, we are going completely carbon neutral!”

13) “I’m such a perfectionist that I’d really rather not do it at all.”

14) “…he knows economics as well as he knows bullfighting, and I am going to call in a little favor.”

15) “Well. That was a waste of a text.”

All in all I thought that it was sort of a weird episode – heavy on the awkward and easy on the endearing. It was fun to watch Michael rally the troops at the meeting, but if you’ve seen this show more than once, you knew right off the bat that his popularity was going to be short-lived. He seemed to enjoy his three minutes in the spotlight, though.

What did y’all think?

After last week’s kinda-funny-but-nowhere-near-as-funny-as-the-week-before episode of “The Office,” I’m thinking we’re due for a humdinger (EVER THE OPTIMIST, I AM). I’m also hoping that we get to see Erin and Andy interact a little bit, especially after we found out last week that she thinks he’s the coolest person she’s ever met – even cooler than Marlon Wayans.

(And I don’t know how many of you watch “30 Rock,” but last week it made me so happy.)

(That has nothing to do with “The Office,” of course. But I just needed to say it.)

1) “Don’t mention it. You owe me one. You all owe me one.”

2) “That’s right. You’re a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I’ll try again.”

3) “So open wide, Pam, and take a big ole spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food.”

4) “Pam? Aren’t you going to introduce us to Michael’s girlfriend?”

5) “I know. Isn’t that always how it goes?” // “Rarely. If ever.”

6) “That paper was never supposed to arrive.”

7) “Today’s about family.”

8) “Why did I even get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse, and I didn’t even blow it.”

9) “You give me a gift? BAM! Thank-you note. You invite me somewhere? POW. RSVP. You do me a favor? WHAM! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.”

10) “Here’s a healthy fitness tip. If you clinch your buttocks together while walking, you can really take the pressure off your knees.”

11) “I am going to pre-emptively change the batteries in your wireless mouse.”

12) “You’re 58 years old? Congratulations.”

13) “I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.”

14) “I will make everyone’s tacos!”

15) “You like lame things. It’s a generational sort of gap between us.”

16) “I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you, and I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.”

17) “Who is Kafka-esque? I’ve never – I don’t know him.”

18) “There’s another woman – and her name is Italy. And skydiving. And bungee jumping.”

19) “It’s not my decision. It’s Mother Nature. And Mother has very strict rules about fer…tility.”

20) “What a waste of a day. I could’ve grown poison mushrooms that would’ve been this high by now.”

21) “I want to hit you. I want to hit you. We’ll do it after work. In the parking lot. I’m going to hit you as hard as I can.”

22) “Hey Pam. I heard about the hit. Just be sure it’s off of company property, right? Okay, well I think it should probably be okay.”

23) “PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS!”

24) “What are you sorry for?”// “So many things. I don’t know. It’s hard to choose.”

25) “Wait. Why are you limping?” // “I DON’T KNOW!”

26) “I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner, and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends. And our kids play together. And I am happy, and I am rich, and I never die. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s enough for me.”

LIsten – that was one of my favorite episodes ever. It was the perfect intersection of Michael’s sweetness and his shallowness…everything we love about him and everything that drives us crazy. The whole break-up scene was BRILLIANT – especially since Michael’s kindness to Helene had finally won Pam over – and the sub-plot of Dwight and Andy trying to out-nice each other was hysterical. Loved it.

Did y’all love it, too?

I still have such happy memories of last week’s episode of “The Office” that I’m almost a little scared to watch this week’s for fear of the inevitable funny letdown. You know, because I’M INSANE AND ALL.

But seriously, how do you top an episode where someone puts a listening device in a duck (MALLARD) as a decoy for the listening device that’s in the pen? And how do you top Jim saying “IT’S ALL GOOOOOOD”?

I guess that tonight’s the night when we see if it’s possible.

1) “This is the spookiest warehouse in the world, kids. Whoa. Scary, huh?” (loved Darryl’s delivery)

2) “This is a surgery with an octopus and a burn victim.”

3) “We’re selling success.” // “And paper.” // “That’s sort of secondary.”

4) “Sherman Blinds & Rugs, Suite Two-Oh-Two.” (I adore Andy.)

5) “Sounds like somebody has a case of the definitelys.”

6) “I date models. Face models. My girlfriend? On a scale of 1 to Giselle? Uh, a 9.”

7) “David Wallace called. He said you made a big splash at the meeting.”

8) The Do Not Mock List – CLASSIC

9) “I know the best teacher – her name is Miss Janet.” // “YEAH – on Clearview Avenue!”

10) “This sounds ridiculous, I know, but some people say that I eat like a squirrel.”

11) “It’s like a little foot just high-fived me…message received, little soybean.”

12) “Oh, I guess I’m a loser. A LOOOOOO-HOOOO-HOOOO-OOOOOOO-SER. Too far!”

13) “I gotta get my goin’ out on.”

14) “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But. Because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So actually Jim is my enemy. But.”

15) “What’s up, lifeguard?”

16) “He’s like the coolest person I’ve ever met.” // “Yeah – he’s like Marlon Brando.” // “Oh. Do you mean Marlon Wayans? Because he is.”

In the end this episode wasn’t as laugh-out-loud funny as last week, but the whole koi pond ordeal managed to humiliate both Michael and Jim – for two completely different reasons – and by the end of the episode our two co-managers were starting to interact like – dare I say it? – a team. Who’d have thunk it?

Plus, we got to hear Andy say my new favorite quote: “I gotta get my goin’ out on.”

That alone made the whole thing worthwhile.

What did y’all think?

I’m a little distracted tonight because I cannot get this weekend’s Mississippi State/Florida game off of my mind, and since the tunnel vision and I are VERY well-acquainted, I’ve had a hard time prying myself away from your various and sundry Bulldog message boards and newspaper articles and gameday cams and etc. and so on and so forth.

BUT.

I know that Pam and Jim are going to be back at Dunder-Mifflin tonight, and that little detail is just the incentive I need to shift my focus back where it belongs: on “The Office.”

Can somebody give me an “amen”? Thank you, sister.

1) “I haven’t seen you since my accident that I had when I fell, I fell into a pool of acid eyes first.”

2) “Blind Guy. Blind Guy McSqueezy.”

3) “It’s good to be home.”

4) “Number one: do not leave your things on my desk…item number two: conquackulations.”

5) “Now I can observe Jim, track Jim and destroy Jim.”

6) “Who’s the lucky lady?” // “Pam’s mom.”

7) “Hey, Jim.” // “NOT NOW, TOBY!”

8) “She’s right on my way home from work.” // “THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME, MAN!” // “I’ll take service streets.”

9) “That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.”

10) “I really would have appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would’ve introduced you to mine.”

11) “DWIGHT PICKED THE WRONG DAY TO PUT A WOODEN MALLARD IN MY OFFICE.”

12) Ryan’s fedora – cracked me up.

13) “Volunteer at the local animal shelter…paint a mural of Chicano leaders…make Scranton a better place – you could leave it!”

14) “Nobody talks to my lady that way…bye, Pickle.”

15) “It’s ALLLLL GOOOOOD.”

16) “I am your boss, and I may someday be your father. So get out.”

17) “You’re so cool.” // “You owe me three bucks for gas.”

18) “Hey.” // “SHOVE IT.”

19) “I put it in your office to surveil you.”

20) “Did you really think I’d put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? I’m not insane.”

I thought this episode was HILARIOUS – one of the best in the last couple of seasons. I loved seeing Pam on the defensive, Jim in protector mode and Dwight up to his paranoid shenanigans. We’ll be watching this one over and over again in our house. LOVED IT.

What did y’all think?

So first I watched Jim and Pam’s wedding from last week. Now I’m watching this week’s epsiode of “The Office.” I am on a roll. I think I may have just gotten my television groove back. It’s a fine feeling, my friends.

And while I think we may miss Jim and Pam this week, I have high hopes for some Dwight Schrute / Andrew Bernard shenanigans. Here’s to hoping.

– “The fundamentals of business. ‘Mental’ is a part of the word. I have underlined it. Because you’re ‘mental’ if you don’t have a good time. You have to enjoy it.”

– “What topics can you use for small talk?” // “Small things. Peas. Ball bearings. Dimes.”

– “The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Chapter 1. The businessman…”

– “Push free play to tomorrow morning.”

– “Not everything is a threat. // “MOBSTERS ARE!”

– “R is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.'”

– “When somebody threatens you, you give in RIGHT AWAY.”

– “I think we should let the criminal use the card a little longer.”

– “I will have spaghetti with a side salad. If the salad is on top, I send it back.”

– “YOU WANNA DO THIS, JUNIOR? I didn’t think so. I’ve had a long day at the mechanics store.”

– “Are you suggesting that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael’s brain?”

– “If there’s one thing I hate more than the mafia, it’s a liar. I wish the mafia would kill all the liars.”

I got a kick out of the three stooges tonight – what did y’all think?

Up next: “30 Rock.”

Seriously. It’s an embarrassment of television riches.

So I’m a full week late to Jim and Pam’s wedding, and I’m pretty sure that my tardiness is outside of all etiquette bounds. But there’s no way I can watch tonight’s episode without watching Jim and Pam first, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So. Two episodes of “The Office” in one night. AND “30 Rock.”

It’s a better TV lineup than I deserve.

The wedding highlights:

– “This is a firecracker-free wedding.”

– “You’re lucky to have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmother.”

– “What happens in Niagara stays in Niagara.”

– “Two years ago she sold a mountain bike…and she had a couple of hundred dollars to spend, you know, if she was able to sell her bike.”

– “Not only is Erin really sweet and cute – she smells like my mom.”

– “We should have hired a professional to take our mental pictures.”

– “Hello. My name is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening, it’s because you are a lucky woman….”

– “Confirmation number Romeo, Tango, G, 7, 7, 4, 5.”

– “When Mary was denied a room at the inn, Jesus was born. When Michael was denied a room at the inn, we don’t know what happens because that story hasn’t been told yet.”

– “Nobody’s perfect.” // “Well, I wouldn’t care to live if I thought that.”

– “Just going to do a little freestanding comedy, and if at the end everybody wants to raise their glasses to Pam and Jim then so be it. Hey. What is the deal with the smart car? How smart is that? Those things are tiny.”

– “A lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a girl that I was friends with, but I think, even then, I knew that I was waiting for my wife.”

– “My point is that I said what I wanted to say, and MeMaw, I hope you heard every word.”

– “MeMaw, I think you need to chill out…it’s not 1890 anymore.”

– Meredith and Andy dancing, MY WORD.

– “Are you pushing me off the phone? // No. Let’s talk for a long time.”

– “It’s funny, your wife loved this hat the last time she saw it.”

– KEVIN’S TOUPEE’.

– “I have taken it on myself to do something a little more special. I have painted a portrait of the two of them. From memory.”

– Jim cut his tie! THE SWEETEST EVER.

– The wedding processional. I have no words. But I laughed REALLY loudly when Dwight kicked the bridesmaid in the face.

– “The boat was actually plan C. The church was plan B. And plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Actually the day I met her.”

– “I got six numbers. One more would have been a COMPLETE telephone number.”

Well. That was perfection.

No wonder y’all loved it so much.