Given all the funny in last week’s episode of The Office (“SPIN MOVE!”), tonight’s episode has some mighty big shoes to fill. Will The Michael Scott Paper Company get some new clients? Will Dunder-Mifflin beg Michael & Co. to come back? Will Al Capella get any $9,000 gigs (with a merch table, no less)?

I can’t wait to find out.

1. “Ever since I’ve gotten clean there’s something about fresh, morning air that just really makes me sick.”

2. “We think it says Alleluia Church of Scranton in Korean.”

3. “I don’t want to have said that. But I think it’s important that you know it.”

4. “Charles, I got your memo! Thank you!”

“Been there. Done that.”

5. “David Wallace! Hello we’ve been expecting you, David Wallace!”

6. “Come along, afterthought.”

7. “When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don’t blame the child. You blame the 30 year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, ‘Drive, kid. I trust you.'”

8. “I say we fill Michael’s office with bees.”

9. “Aw, man – if only Michael had children. Then we could really apply the pressure.”

10. “See you upstairs, you titans of industry.”

“Well, we’re not only tight ends, we’re also quarterbacks.”

11. “Well, well, well – how the turn tables…”

12. “I’ll see your situation and raise you a situation.”

13. “How about $60,000?”

14. “OH – WE ARE SO. RICH.”

15. “One. Case of the Beet Bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm.”

16. “Wouldn’t you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?”

“I’d rather have $60,000.”

17. “I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring. And I want Charles gone.”

18. “Our balls are in your court.”

19. “That’s what I’m TALKIN’ ABOUT!”

20. Michael propping that foot up on Jim’s desk – PRICELESS.

Did y’all love it as much as I did?

Don’t even get me started about how glad I am to have Matt Giraud back again this week, and on top of that, I am THRILLED that we’re gonna get to hear some disco tonight. Why? Because I LOVE ME SOME 70s MUSIC. As along as it’s not “MacArthur Park” because, well, I just don’t get it.

Lil Rounds – “I’m Every Woman” – This song is a little tired as far as AI goes, I think – somebody sings it EVERY SINGLE YEAR. And once again, Lil didn’t really do anything to make this song her own. She just did sort of a fancy karaoke version, and it didn’t really blow me away. It was a’ight, but I’m not sure it was enough. However, she did seem MUCH more comfortable, and that was nice to see.

Kris Allen – “She Works Hard For The Money” – Oh my word – he totally put a Dave Barnes-ian / Matt Wertz-ian / Marc Broussard-ian groove on that song, and it was AWESOME. I loved the acoustic feel (RIGHT UP MY MUSICAL ALLEY, IT WAS), and I have to say that was one of my top five AI moments ever. Loved it SO MUCH. Good grief he’s talented.

Danny Gokey – “September” – This has nothing to do with Danny’s performance, but Earth Wind & Fire is one of those bands that just makes me HAPPY. Anyway. This song is totally Danny’s comfort zone – big vocal, lots of funky, and I liked how he interacted with the background singers. HOWEVER, as strong as his vocals were, he didn’t show as much originality as Kris. I don’t think that’s going to hurt him ONE IOTA in this competition, mind you, because he can flat-out sing – and I thought this was a really fun performance.

Allison Iraheta – “Hot Stuff” – I’m sorry, but when she sings lyrics that are way too mature for her, she loses me from the get-go. I don’t know if that’s fair entirely fair to her or not, but there’s just something that makes me uncomfortable about a 16 year-old girl singing those lyrics. Plus, I thought the arrangement was way too slow and as a result it felt like she never picked up any momentum. I just wish she’d done something a little peppier and a little more age-appropriate. KC & the Sunshine Band, maybe?

Adam Lambert – “If I Can’t Have You” – This was actually my favorite performance of Adam’s, and admittedly I have not been his biggest fan because I feel like he screams a lot. Tonight he didn’t scream as much, and I really liked the way he ended the song. I also liked that it was way more controlled than, say, what he did last week. So I say well done.

Matt Giraud – “Stayin’ Alive” – At first I thought that Matt singing this song was a really bad decision, but then he started singing and I decided it might be a good call after all. I loved the R&B spin he put on it, and I liked the arrangement. I still like Matt the very best when he’s sitting behind the piano, but his vocals were way better this week than last. However, he wasn’t as original as Kris and Adam, and this week, I think he needed to be. Don’t know if it’ll be enough to keep him in this thing for another week or not.

Anoop Desai – “Dim All The Lights” – I really liked the first part of this song when he did his Anoop-ish ballad-y thing – but when the tempo of the song got a little faster, it started to feel a little outdated to me. So while he was smart to highlight his strengths at the beginning of the song, he reminded us of his weaknesses in the last part of the song. This one’s a toss-up.

So for me the best of the night was Kris Allen – hands down. And I think anyone whose name isn’t Kris, Danny or Adam could potentially be in danger when they eliminate two people tomorrow night. It’s not that the other four aren’t good, but tonight, they weren’t nearly as strong.

What did y’all think?

If you’d like to add your own AI post to the Mr. Linky, please leave the permalink to your specific post and not your general blog URL.

Would you think my life was really sad and pitiful if I told you that I’ve been looking forward to tonight’s episodes of “The Office” and “30 Rock” all day long?

Yes?

Well. Then welcome to my sad, pitiful life. Where I not only watch TV – I blog about it!

All righty – here we go with the dueling paper companies on “The Office.”

1. “…now we are going bargain hunting in the haunted graveyard of their love.”

2. “Michael, you know I can’t take this.”
“Yes, I do.”

3. “U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi…gooooooo Michael Scott Paper Company!”

4. “You’re so – focused.”
“Like a wolf. Thank you.”

5. “Let me be your traveling pants.”

6. “I. understand. nothing.”

7. “It’s like a girl says she’ll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.”

8. “I am going to steal all your clients, and then I am going to kill them in front of you.”

9. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. – Bill Cosby”

10. “You sound worried.”
“And you have bad skin. Look, everyone, we’re all making observations!”

11. “I spent a month putting that Rolodex on his Blackberry. Which he now uses as a nightlight.”

12. “Master and Apprentice. Pitted against one another for the fate of the Greater Scranton Area paper market.”

13. OH MY WORD – Dwight’s green underwear.

14. “Dwight hit a bear. But he’ll be here in a second.”

15. “You have no idea what kind of an enemy you’ve created. You’ve unleashed a wolf.”

16. “Aaaaaand I’m closing the door.”

17. “ARE YOU SAYING YOU INVENTED PAPER?”

18. “SPIN MOVE!”

19. “I color code all my info…green means ‘go.’ So I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means ‘orange you glad you didn’t bring it up.'”

Oh, I did enjoy the Insider-esque sheananigans. This was Dwight’s best episode in a sweet forever, and pitting Michael and Dwight against each other as corporate rivals is brilliant. It was a great episode that was chock-full-o-one liners – and I will treasure Dwight’s quick costume change into his mustard shirt for the rest of my earthly days. It was like watching Superman run into a burning building. If, you know, Superman were a paper salesman.

By the way, if you’d like to hear Andy’s a cappella version of “You Can Call Me Al,” it’s right here. HILARIOUS.

What did y’all think?

Tonight on American Idol the contestants are singing songs of the cinema, and Quentin Tarantino is the guest judge. Um, maybe I’m overlooking the obvious, but what’s he going to do, exactly? Teach them how to emote more? Teach them where to stand? Teach them how to appear interested when the judges are talking?

I’m telling you: I just don’t understand these fancy TV shows and all these fancy directors with all their fancy Hollywood ways.

Anyway, it should be interesting to see what songs everybody picks, though so help me if anyone sings “My Heart Will Go On” I cannot be held responsible for my actions, especially considering that my actions will probably involve some loud screaming and then subsequently pulling out all the hair on the right side of my head while I set my toes on fire.

Alison Iraheta – “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” – I don’t know what it is, but everytime I hear this song I want to put on a red and white polka dotted dress and sit under a tree with Ben Affleck. It’s the funniest thing. Anyway, this performance of Alison’s was way too overwrought and screamy for me. I think it was a good song choice for her because it has the whole rock vibe thing going on, but it almost felt like the song got away from her and she was playing catch-up. Didn’t love it.

Anoop Desai – “Everything I Do I Do For You” – My first thought when Anoop announced his song choice was that I’d better run and grab some crackers since he was about to bring on the cheese. But I have to give Anoop credit: he took a song that, honestly, I pretty much despise and made it fairly interesting. He gave it a little bit of an edge, but at the same time he kept it understated, especially at the end. I thought this was one of his best performances, and nobody’s more surprised by that than I am.

[BTW, excellent call on only having two judges speak after each performance. TWO IS PLENTY.]

[Which begs the question: are four judges even remotely necessary?]

Adam Lambert – “Born To Be Wild” – This whole thing reminded me of something that you’d see in Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was too much screaming falsetto. (Okay, I just heard Simon, and HE TOTALLY SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT ROCKY HORROR. It’s like we share a mind.) Bottom line: the only reason tonight’s performance was memorable for me is because I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Yes, he’s talented. But he just doesn’t seem to sing a lot of stuff that I enjoy – at least not so far.

Matt Giraud – “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman” – To me, Matt is strongest when he goes with the whole Robin Thicke / Justin Timberlake thing – and he totally had that feel for the first half of tonight’s performance. But as soon as the orchestra joined in, things went a little haywire. It became this weird cross between karaoke and a piano bar and R&B, and it was a wee bit trainwreckian. Way too much going on. I think he would have been way better off if he had just kept it simple – no orchestra, no falsetto in weird places. He’s way better than what we saw tonight.

Danny Gokey – “Endless Love” – I SO appreciated Danny dialing it back a little bit for the first three-quarters of this song. He had a little bit of a rough start, but he recovered well, and I thought he did a very touching interpretation of a song that takes me RIGHT BACK to when I was in elementary school and had no idea what the movie was about but I thought Brooke Shields was really, really pretty and I begged my mama to buy me the sheet music so I could learn to play the song on the piano. And now I have shared a memory that absolutely no one cares about, but I really don’t have anything else to say about Danny’s performance so thank you the end.

Kris Allen – “Falling Slowly” – THAT WAS STINKIN’ BRILLIANT. It was restrained and confident all at the same time – not to mention that there wasn’t anything shrieky or showy about his falsetto. I thought it was a home run. LOVED IT.

Lil Rounds – “The Rose” – I think she picked a good song, and I think the little bit of gospel influence in the arrangement was a great call. However, the unfortunate part of this performance was that pitch-wise she was all over the place. This could have been a big comeback for her, but in the end it fell short. It was definitely better than the last three or four weeks, though.

I have to say that the playing field seems much more even now that we’re down to seven. My favorite of the night was definitely Kris, and I think that Matt is probably in a wee bit of danger. Lil was the weakest, I think, but since she hasn’t been in the bottom two before, I doubt she finds herself there tomorrow night.

So. What did y’all think?

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Now I know I said a couple of weeks ago that I think romance makes Michael a little more human, and that’s true. But one reason I’m excited about tonight’s two episodes of The Office is because I think some good old-fashioned desperation also makes Michael a little more human. And I have a hunch that he’s going to be at the height of desperation what with starting his own paper company and all.

Plus, we have some mighty promising personnel changes at Dunder-Mifflin (Kevin on the phone? DELIGHTFUL POSSIBILITIES), not to mention Kelly’s and Angela’s crushes on the new boss, Charles.

So here we go.

1. “OSCAR! YOUR MOM!”

2. “I think Kevin is doing as well as you might expect someone like him to perform in a position like that.”

3. “Charles, where were you born?”

4. “I have egg on my Crocs.”

5. “I’ve always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and do mediocre work. Half-heartedly.”

6. “Pam, everybody deserves a second second chance.”

7. “I can’t wait to play, man!”

“Aw, it’s gonna be the…worst.”

8. “Do you guys want to hear about about Thailand?”

“Yes.”

“It was indescribable.”

9. “Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars, and someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one.”

(FAVORITE! LINE! EVER!)

10. “My mission is stated as follows: I will not be beat. I will never give up. I am on a mission. That’s the Michael Scott guarantee.”

11. “JIM? WHY WOULD AN EXPERIENCED SOCCER PLAYER LIKE YOURSELF DUCK AT THE VERY LAST MOMENT?”

12. “Do you get TNT?”

13. “I was just feeling impulsive! I should’ve just gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle.”

14. “Like my mother always said, average people are the most special people in the world, and that’s why there’s so many of them.”

15. “MICHAEL SCOTT PAP”

16. “Oh, and Kelly?”

“YES! CHARLES!”

17. “Clearly a hunter – who knows how to throw an outfit together.”

18. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – MICHAEL SCOTT”

19. “R thinks he’s too good to be here, and P isn’t nearly as fun without Jim. I’ll have to call you back, Mom. P is being a giant B.”

20. “Just faxing my dad – a RUN-DOWN.”

21. Andy and Dwight’s dueling versions of “Country Roads, Take Me Home”

22. “Who would’ve thought that the thing that would save this company would be work?”

Oh, y’all. I thought tonight’s hour-o-“The Office” was leaps and bounds above anything we’ve seen so far this year. So funny.

What did you think?

Tonight the contestants are singing songs from their birth years, which means that I’m going to feel about 105 by the time this particular theme night is over.

Oh, the getting older is humbling, isn’t it?

All righty. Here we go.

Danny Gokey – 1980 – “Stand By Me” – Oh, this song reminds me of Bud and Sissy dancing cheek-to-cheek at Gilley’s in “Urban Cowboy” – sweet, sweet memories. Anyway, I thought the first part of his performance wasn’t his best, but the second half was definitely better. Still, I don’t think I would’ve picked this song – something a little closer to whatever genre he’s planning to focus on when he records a CD (whether that’s contemporary Christian, country, whatever) would’ve been better. He has an incredible voice, but he’s becoming less distinctive to me with each passing week, mainly because I still don’t feel like I know where his musical interests lie. Just my opinion – which, by the way, happens to be worth a grand total of zero dollars and zero cents.

Kris Allen – 1985 – “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” – I would have NEVER thought of this song as an option for him, but I thought the arrangement was sort of interesting. HOWEVER, I think Kris made a bit of a misstep here, because I noticed the arrangement way more than I noticed his singing. He has been so distinctive the last couple of weeks, but tonight it seemed like he faded into the background a little bit. Plus, his range is incredible, and that song has approximately four notes. The whole thing was just a’ight for me.

Lil Rounds – 1984 – “What’s Love Got To Do With It” – Now in theory I would’ve thought Lil picking a Tina Turner song would have been a brilliant choice. But my problem with her performance tonight was that it felt like an imitation of Angela Bassett imitating Tina Turner – right down to her outfit, her mannerisms and her walk when she came on the stage. The first part of the song was a little flat, and when she finally hit her stride towards the end of the song, I was frustrated that she had resorted to one more karaoke-ish performance. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: she’s better than what we’re seeing each week on the show. I wonder why that is?

Anoop Desai – 1986 – “True Colors” – Anoop picked a great song this week, and I loved the arrangement. He also seemed to connect a little bit more than he has in past weeks; I didn’t get bored or feel like I was watching a wedding singer. Anoop really showed off his voice and put a nice R&B twist on a classic pop song. Bottom line: this performance reminded me why I liked Anoop so much at the very beginning of the season. Well done.

Scott McIntyre – 1985 – “The Search Is Over” – I SO knew that he would go for a power ballad, and goodness knows that the 80s is the perfect decade to mine for power ballad gold. My biggest issue with Scott is that I just don’t care very much for his voice. When he sings loudly his voice gets a little shaky, but not in a way that’s particularly pleasing. And because I don’t love his voice, just about anything he sings sounds sort of stilted and old-fashioned to me. He’s totally likeable, but I don’t think he’s nearly as talented as the other guys who are still in the running (towards becoming America’s Next Top Model).

(Sorry.)

(I couldn’t resist.)

Allison Iraheta – 1992 – “I Can’t Make You Love Me” – She sang the fire out of this song, but I had a hard time getting past the fact that the lyrics were TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR A SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD. I know I shouldn’t get hung up on that, but there’s absolutely nothing believable about listening to a sixteen year-old sing all sexy-like and world weary-ish about a love affair that’s ending. However, she sounded great – one of the best of the night for sure.

Matt Giraud – 1985 – “Part-Time Lover” – I was delighted to see Matt do something a little more in the JT vibe tonight, even if I DESPISE this song. I thought this was a fine return to form, and the arrangement gave him a chance to do his bluesy / funky / jazzy / R&B-ish THANG. And also? His range was phenomenal. Loved it.

Adam Lambert – 1982 – Our DVR cut off, which means that I have no idea what he sang or how he sang it. So internets, you will have to give me the low-down in the comments.

All in all I thought tonight was a bit of a letdown. Matt was far and away the best, and Scott and Lil were the weakest – but keep in mind that I didn’t see Adam’s performance. Who did y’all think was the best? And who do you think is in danger of going home?

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