People, I scoured the interwebs for two whole minutes this afternoon and tried to find out what tonight’s theme was going to be. But alas, my extensive research was for naught. So tonight I actually had to watch the opening of the show – cheesy intro of the judges and the whole nine yards – to find out that the theme is Top Downloads.

So, um, I have no idea what constitutes a “top download,” but, you know, SURE.

Anoop Desai – “Caught Up” – David and I just sounded like two octogenarians when Anoop announced the title of his song (“HE DO WHAT CAUGHT HUH?”). I’ve never in my life heard of this song, but I don’t think I needed to hear it in order to know that this wasn’t Anoop’s finest hour. What’s so strange about Anoop’s song choices to me is that he seems to pick songs that fight with his strengths. And at a time when he really needs to stand out and do something memorable, he didn’t.

Megan Joy – “Turn Your Lights Down Low” – She is darlin’. She really is. But something is missing when she performs – like, I don’t know, energy. It makes me a little sad, because I think she’s so interesting, but I have yet to connect with anything she’s done in the Top 12. Plus, tonight’s song was super boring. SUPER boring. But did I mention that she’s darlin’?

Danny Gokey – “What Hurts The Most” – The main thing I liked about this performance was that he didn’t sing at top volume the entire time. I actually liked this arrangement better than I like the original Rascal Flatts version. Danny put a laid-back R&B twist on the beginning of the song, and I thought it was great. However, I still contend that I have NO idea what kind of CD he’d record – maybe that’ll get a little more clear in the weeks to come.

Allison Iraheta – “Don’t Speak” – At first I got a little distracted by the bow in her hair because I’m pretty sure that I owned something similar back in 1984. Anyway, I thought the beginning of this song was great – though her guitar playing seemed sort of inconsequential – but the second half of the song was pretty rough around the edges. Also, I’m gonna have to issue a fashion citation for those white sandals (NOT EASTER YET, and also: NOT WITH BLACK LEGGINGS). As I’ve contended all long, Allison’s musical style isn’t really my thing, but she’s remarkably consistent for someone who’s only 16.

Scott MacIntyre – “Just The Way You Are” – Okay. I’m confused. What does a song from the 70s have to do with top downloads? Is that really a top download? Or is it just the song Scott wanted to sing? I used to love listening to my Billy Joel Greatest Hits cassette when I’d drive back and forth to college, so I think it’s safe to say I’m a fan – but Scott didn’t do this song justice. I keep going back to the fact that while he’s perfectly pleasant to listen to, he just isn’t in the same vocal league as most of these contestants. A nice piano bar? YESSSSSSSSS. But American Idol? NOOOOOOOO.

Also: his hair reminded me of Richard Marx. That’s neither here nor there, really, but I just thought I’d share.

Matt Giraud – “You Found Me” – Don’t even get me started about the travesty of Matt being in the bottom two last week. So as a response to that, he’s breaking out The Fray. I don’t know if his strategy is going to resonate with mainstream America, because truth be told I thought the first part of the song was a little hard to follow. Granted, it picked up about a third of the way through, but here’s what I think was the biggest problem with this performance: we’ve gotten conditioned to expect a certain thing from Matt, and this week he did a 180. It didn’t feel nearly as sincere as his performance last week, and as much as I love him (LOVE HIM), I think this was a reactionary misstep.

Buthe’sstillmyfavoriteandIwillvoteforhimasmanytimesasIcan.

Lil Rounds – “I Surrender” – My first thought about this song choice is WHY, WHY DO YOU DO THAT? I feel like Lil is all over the place and jumping into a different genre each week. We got a little glimpse of her soulfulness in the bridge of this song, but for the most part this performance was sort of pitchy and screamy. Why not break out some Mary J. Blige? Or even some Alicia Keys? Here’s my opinion: Lil is trying to be who she thinks the judges want her to be – but in doing that she’s losing some of the qualities that make her so great. I’m still rooting for her, though.

Adam Lambert – “Play That Funky Music” – You know what this performance felt like to me? It felt – vocal acrobatics or no – like it was way more for him than it was for us (I could be totally wrong, of course). And I’m sorry, but the only way this version of that song would be “current” is if it were a part of some sort of hot new Broadway musical featuring talking animals who have overtaken a disco. The end.

[HEY! IT’S MANDISA! HEY MANDISA!]

Kris Allen – “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” – THAT WAS STINKIN’ BRILLIANT. I bet I watch it five more times before I go to sleep tonight. And unlike about half of the other contestants, Kris seems to know exactly who he is as an artist, and he’s staying true to what he knows every single week. LOVED IT.

In the end I don’t think I really understood what tonight’s theme was supposed to be – because it pretty much turned into sing-what-you-like. And that’s fine. But without a more specific theme, the show felt all over the place. I thought Kris was the best hands-down, and I thought Megan and Scott were the weakest links. I think Matt’s in a little bit of danger, too.

What say you, internets?

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All righty. I’m going to try again with the whole blogging-The-Office thing, even though last week I got super-frustrated because I felt like Michael’s likeability factor was at an all-time low. I’ve decided that “The Office” is way more enjoyable when Michael has a love interest, because being in love makes him seem more human. And less bitter. And less callous. And etc. and so forth and so on.

Plus, we don’t have the tension between Jim & Pam anymore, and with the absence of Dwight / Angela / Andy, it’s been hard to connect to the stories of characters who are, for the time being, sort of basking in their misery.

But I have my fingers crossed that tonight will be decidedly less unpleasant, and so, with a big ole dose of shiny-happy optimism, here we go.

1. “He finally has a story we really want to hear – and he knows it.”

2. “I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do…I’m gonna give it a ‘ho-o, hey-ey, ho-o.'”

3. “Any really good head hunter will storm your village at sunset and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife.”

4. “Is that what ‘soon’ means to you? Then come back soon.”

5. “BANDIT! NO! NO NO NO!”

6. “It’s monster.com. SINGULAR.”

7. “My German is pretty industrial and mostly religious.”

8. “We’re really tight. We’re like the Kardashians.”

9. “There was a sundae bar. I didn’t have any – you know, to stay trim.”

10. “She’s such a special person. She’s turning 50 this year!”

11. “I”m going with him.”

12. “Kevin, I want you on phones.”
“Phones?”

So this was better – although Michael’s desperation when he crawled on his belly through the office made my heart hurt a little bit. Still, there was a sweetness to Pam’s realization that she was at a dead end and then deciding to do something about it, even if following Michael only leads her to a brand new dead end. And sweet mercy, the Angela / Charles / Kelly triangle is hilarious – but for the love of pete, we need more Andy. And we need it now.

What did y’all think?

Tonight’s theme on American Idol is 50 Years of Motown, and I’m really excited about that because it means that we’ll get to hear some solid, well-written songs. But SO HELP ME if Adam Lambert (who, I grant you, is deeply talented) tries to do some weird, Goth-ish version of “Heard It Through The Grapevine,” I’m going to be forced to fly to LA and hunt him down and follow him around for four days straight while incessantly singing my very monotone version of the Amy Grant classic “Stay for Awhile.”

That’ll teach him.

Anyway. Here we go.

Matt Giraud – “Let’s Get It On” – Oh, people. Oh my word. That was stinkin’ brilliant and probably one of my favorite Idol performances of all time. I cannot quit smiling. Totally memorable. LOVED IT.

Kris Adams – “How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You” – I didn’t love the bop-che-was from the background singers, and I think it is mighty tough to top James Taylor’s version of this song because it’s oh-so-classic. But I thought Kris’ version was fab, his voice sounded awesome, and I will love him forever for that ending. Really well done.

Scott McIntyre – “You Can’t Hurry Love” – I think the main disadvantage Scott had tonight was that he had to follow two super-strong vocalists. It also seemed like he stayed at the same volume throughout the song, and by the end of it I felt like he’d been screaming at me a little bit. It seemed a little talent show-ish, especially in light of the first two performances.

[PAULA. STOP INTERRUPTING.]

Megan Joy – “For Once In My Life” – I love her, and there were parts of this performance that I thought were fun and quirky and endearingly original. There were also parts that were a pretty rough around the edges, and it seemed to get shrieky when she went for the high notes, almost like she was oversinging. If she had slowed it down and made it a little jazzier, I think it would’ve been a whole lot better.

Anoop Desai – “Oooh, Baby, Baby” – This one was mixed for me. I really liked the lower parts, but when he went into his falsetto it went all wrong. Plus, he seemed like he was bored. So he wasn’t as strong as last week, but he was definitely better than two weeks ago. I think he did enough to stay in this thing for another week, but it wasn’t my favorite performance of his by any stretch of the imagination.

Michael Sarver – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” – I like that he did in fact “church it up,” but is it wrong that it drove me crazy that he kept leaning over the stage to shake hands? IT DROVE ME CRAZY. He had the same trouble as Anoop – when he went up high it fell apart. This performance didn’t give me any sense at all of what he would do if he got a record deal – it just helped me understand what it would be like to see him headline at the Lido Lounge on a cruise ship. And I think he’s better than that.

Lil Rounds – “Heat Wave” – I’m not sure what’s going on with Lil these last two weeks – because it seems like she’s slipped into karaoke mode a little bit. I wish that she’d done something totally surprising with this song, but instead she ran with the original version. And like Megan, she got in that screaming mode, so by the end of the song she had nowhere to go. She is a phenomenal singer, but this song was wrong for her. It’s like she’s trying to please everybody but not singing the stuff she really wants to sing. I hope she gets another chance to show us what she can do.

Adam Lambert – “Tracks of My Tears” – I have to say: he can camp out in that upper range all the livelong day and not hit a false note. I really enjoyed the understated arrangement, and it was nice to see a more laid-back version of Adam this week. Not to mention that I’m really grateful that he didn’t do a Goth version of “Heard It Through The Grapevine.” Well done.

Danny Gokey – “Get Ready” – No doubt about it: the boy can SANG. And there were pockets of originality in there – I just wish there had been more. With Matt and Kris and Adam nipping at his heels, Danny needs to set himself apart and start to give us some idea of what makes him unique. Yes, he can sing absolutely anything, but we’re two months into this deal and I still don’t really have an idea of what “his” kind of music is. He’s gonna have to step it up.

Allison Iraheta – “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone” – She flat-out belted it, no question. The only thing I didn’t like was that I had a hard time understanding the lyrics – the words were a little muddy. But dadgum – sixteen years old. Unbelievable.

My favorite of the night was Matt (I’ll be watching his performance again just as soon as I post this, thankyouverymuch) – no doubt about it. Scott was probably my least favorite. What did y’all think? Who’s in danger of being voted off tomorrow night?

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So last night during “24” I saw promo announcing that tonight’s American Idol is country music night, and as I watched the promo I couldn’t help but sigh just a little bit, mainly because there are few things as painful as listening to somebody butcher a Martina McBride song – unless it’s listening to someone offer up a disingenuous version of “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.”

But I’m trying to go into tonight’s episode with a positive attitude. And I’m praying that Anoop doesn’t sing “Chattahoochee.” Because that would just be wrong.

Michael Sarver – “Ain’t Goin’ Down ‘Til The Sun Comes Up” – If the country genre favors anyone, it favors Michael. This was a really good song choice for him in terms of showing off his personality, but the words in the verses got a little jumbled – something that Garth Brooks, oh God bless him, always managed to avoid. I think Michael showed that he can perform, but I’m not so sure that he showed that he can sing.

[By the way, we’re now fast forwarding through anything that Paula says.]

[I just couldn’t take it anymore.]

Allison Iraheta – “Blame It On Your Heart” – I loved this song when it was first released, and I love it now. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Allison’s version – a little more on the rock-n-roll side but still true to the country roots. She sounded a little winded in parts (nerves?), but her big voice served her well tonight.

Kris Allen – “To Make You Feel My Love” – Okay, here’s what I loved about this performance: he took a country song that’s over ten years old and turned into something you could hear on pop radio tomorrow. So many times ballads translate as boring on TV, but I wasn’t bored for one second. Absolutely beautiful. And I’ll be downloading it from iTunes on Thursday.

[Hey! Do y’all see the guy playing the piano in their rehearsals? That’s Matt, New Marti‘s brother-in-law.]

[Hey, Matt!]

[Of course, Matt doesn’t actually, you know, read my blog. But still: hey, Matt!]

Lil Rounds – “Independence Day” – Oh mercy. Lil decided to break out the Martina. And while she definitely has the voice for it, I felt like she lost some of her Lil-ness in this performance. It just felt watered down, and I think it would’ve been great if she had put some R&B spin on it. I’m just afraid that she lost the most unique part of her voice by doing such a straightforward version of this song.

Adam Lambert – “Ring of Fire” – Has anybody noticed that Adam and Kate Gosselin have the same haircut? Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell y’all that this performance MADE ME WANT TO STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STINKIN’ RING OF FIRE AND LET IT BURN ME SLAP UP. It all felt very overwrought and overly theatrical and borderline obnoxious. In my humble opinion, of course. It just wasn’t my thing, but if you loved it then I am delighted for you.

Scott MacIntyre – “Wild Angels” – So Scott decided to break out the Martina, too. I liked his spin on the arrangement, but I thought the vocals were rough. He doesn’t have the strongest voice in the competition, and that weakness was especially evident tonight, I thought. Plus, the song morphed into some strange sing-along (now! with the orchestra!), so the whole thing felt a little disjointed to me.

[Dear Contestants: PLEASE STOP TALKING BACK TO THE JUDGES, THANK YOU.]

Alexis Grace – “Jolene” – I think this is a brilliant song, but when she started singing it almost sounded like the arrangement was in a key that was way too high for her. I guess I expected for her to hit a total home run with this one, but it felt like she never really got comfortable. I think a lower key might have suited her better – and enabled her to do her “thang” a little bit more.

Danny Gokey – “Jesus Take The Wheel” – Was he wearing a Members Only ski jacket? It totally looked like a Members Only ski jacket. Anyway, I was a little bored when he was singing the verses, but he was able to hit his stride on the chorus. I guess my main concern is that he can’t stay in belt-it-out mode all the time when he sings, and this performance actually showed us some weaknesses we haven’t seen from him before. He dealt with the verses like they were a means to an end – and they totally fell by the wayside as a result. In the end I’m just not sure it was the best song choice for him.

Anoop Desai – “You Were Always On My Mind” – Perfect song choice. Best vocal from Anoop so far this season. Absolutely wonderful. LOVED IT A MILLION TIMES.

Megan Joy (Corkrey? Where’d the Corkrey go?) – “Walkin’ After Midnight” – She looked gorgeous, and I got a kick out of the old school arrangement. It was a quirky and fun and interesting – she did a great job.

Matt Giraud – “So Small” – There is a quiet confidence about this guy that I adore. Loved this performance and especially loved the humility behind it – he is so incredibly talented. He made a Carrie Underwood song completely his own, and I thought it was phenomenal. Not only would I buy Matt Giraud’s CD – I would go to one of his concerts.

So, to sum up: Kris, Anoop and Matt were my favorites. Adam was my least favorite. What did y’all think?

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So as you can imagine I’m a little eh about the whole Michael Jackson theme night. I get that he’s written and recorded lots of great songs, but I’m just a little tired of them. However, I’m willing to deal with the MJ theme, because I just got to watch a super-cheesy introduction of the judges and Ryan Seacrest, and that, THAT IS WHAT MAKES THIS SHOW SO WORTH IT.

Anyhoo. Here we go.

Lil Rounds – “The Way You Make Me Feel” – I have never in my life thought of this song as “sassy,” but I’ll be dadgummed if Lil didn’t make it sassy. It was a little slow, but it was distinctive as all get out. She’s a natural performer – fun, infectious – and I think she could probably sing anything and make it sound good. And I’m going to start praying right now that I get to hear her sing a gospel song before this season is over, oh have mercy.

Scott MacIntyre – “Keep the Faith” – This is a great song choice for him, and he seems much more comfortable behind the piano than he does when he’s performing without it. I don’t think he has the strongest voice in the competition, so he’s going to have to find a way to wow us with originality and stage presence.

[Somebody please make Paula stop talking.]

Danny Gokey – “PYT” – I TRIPLE LOVED the bluesy / soulful take on this song, and I adored his energy. This was the opposite of boring for sure. He has such a fun confidence on stage, and it was a total joy to listen to him. I don’t know any other way to say it.

Michael Sarver – “You Are Not Alone” – He has a beautiful voice, and I think this song was probably a good choice for him (he seems to do well with the Sentimental Ballad). That being said, he seemed to lose his way a little bit in the second half of the song. Plus, I think having to follow Danny was a tough draw. All in all, though, well done.

Jasmine Murray – “I’ll Be There” – This has absolutely nothing to do with the song, but I just want to be perfectly clear that I give her MAJOR style points for tonight’s ensemble. And her lip gloss was perfection. Anyway, I was a little concerned that this song was going to be boring, but she kept it pretty interesting. She was a little screamy on the chorus, but overall she did a really nice job. It’ll be interesting to see how her song selections and performances change as the competition moves forward.

Kris Allen – “Remember The Time” – I wasn’t expecting the John Mayer-ish take on this song, but I loved it. I don’t remember him very much from the auditions, but I just looked over at David and said, “He’s really good!” The guitar seemed sort of unnecessary given the fact that I couldn’t hear it at all, but if it made him more comfortable on stage then I’m all for it. So far he’s the biggest surprise of the night for me.

[Please make Paula stop talking.]

Allison Iraheta – “Give In To Me” – Is it just me or is this song just a smidge inappropriate for a sixteen year-old? Am I being oversensitive about this? You can tell me if I’m being oversensitive. Performance-wise it wasn’t really my thing, but she handled the song well. She definitely stands out from the pack with her edgy style, but it was just a little too rough around the edges for my personal taste.

Anoop Desai – “Beat It” – I so appreciate Anoop’s jacket – it’s a nice little wink to the early 80s. But I have to say that I think he picked the wrong song. This song was always secondary to the dancing that accompanied it, and if you’re not going to put a new twist on it, you’re going to look like an imitation. Anoop has a great voice, and he needs to show it off – but this performance didn’t do him any favors.

Jorge Nuñez – “Never Can Say Goodbye” – I thought this started off okay, but it went downhill fast. I kept expecting for Ryan Seacrest to say, “Ladies and gentlemen – Burt Bacharach!” – because it just felt very dated and sort of like a commercial for one of those KTEL Love Song compilations. Jorge has a really nice voice, but I’m not so sure he’s going to be around much longer for us to hear it.

Megan Joy Corkrey – “Rockin’ Robin” – Okay. Did anybody else think that the arrangement for this song sounded like something the Brady kids would have used when they entered a talent show to win the money to fix the portrait that Jan ruined when she ran into it with her bike? The whole thing just felt a little dated and out-of-touch to me – because there’s no way someone would watch this and think “Oh! Give her a record deal! Right now!” She’s way more talented than this performance showed. AND SHE CAWED AT THE END.

Adam Lambert – “Black & White” – AND THE TONY GOES TO… – oh, sorry. Wrong show. He is so stinkin’ talented, and it’s way obvious that he has tons of stage experience. I’m having a little bit of the same reaction to him that I had to David Cook at first – he just seems to have this whole thing figured out already (his image, his vocal style, etc.), and I feel like I’m trying to play catch-up. He’s a phenomenal entertainer, though – and he has a big ole voice for sure.

Matt Giraud – “Human Nature” – OH COME ON NOW WITH YOUR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE-ISH VIBE. This was totally modern and original – until the end. Because I thought the ending was weird. I loved seeing him behind the piano, though, and I think of all the people in the Top 13, Matt is the one most likely to record a CD that I’d actually buy. Not that anyone cares, of course, but I just thought I’d share.

Alexis Grace – “Dirty Diana” – There’s no question that she can sing (SANG), but this song feels like it comes to a dead stop when it hits the chorus, and that sort of affected my ability to get into the performance. Plus, it seemed like she overcompensated on the chorus because she knew that it was dragging. So it was a little uneven, but I like her style.

Overall I think this was a mighty fine start to the round of 13 – some really strong, memorable performances, and considering what we have had to endure in past seasons, tonight’s weak links seemed comparatively strong.

What did y’all think? Who’s your pick for the best and not-so-best of the night? Which two do you think will be voted off tomorrow night?

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