Trust me when I tell you that I have NEVER BEEN MORE DELIGHTED to blog about “The Office” than I am at right this very minute, because earlier today I thought that the blog had dissipated in a cloud of “parse error: syntax error” smoke.

No kidding: between the fear that I had singlehandedly RURNT THE WHOLE DANG THING and the realization that no one could get to the “Bite Back” post to donate mosquito nets, I’m think my heart rate elevated to a level that enabled me to enjoy all the benefits of an aerobic workout while doing nothing more than sitting nervously on the edge of the sofa.

Fortunately, sweet Anne came to the rescue and fixed everything for me (there may still be some Internet Explorer issues, but they’ll get ironed out soon). I am forever it Anne’s debt because there were about five hours this afternoon when I thought it was going to take a peanut butter scalp massage to make me feel better.

(SEGUE’!)

(THANK YOU!)

This was sort of a strange episode of “The Office” for me, what with the revelation that Ryan has a bit of a drug problem, not to mention Toby’s inability to suppress his love for Pam. And also: NOT NEARLY ENOUGH ANDY.

Still, there were some funny moments – here are my favorites.

1. “If any of you…makes fun of his half beard…”

2. KELLY KAPUR

3. “If I’m not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you’re both dead.”

4. “DO YOU HAVE POWERS?”

5. Meredith’s football-related injury

Chime in with your own favorites, but for the love of pete don’t look at the blog wrong or the whole thing could blow up in an HTML-fueled fireball.

Regardless, I can’t wait to sit here with a glass of olives and a glass of maraschino cherries and read all of your comments.

I’m livin’ the dream, y’all.

I’m livin’ the dream.

Tonight’s show features the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, so I hope everyone has their Phantom masks ready!

I KNOW I DO!

(Too much?)

(Yeah. Thought so.)

And before I even see anyone perform, I will tell you that I am very concerned about two contestants tonight: Brooke White (ALW has big songs that don’t lend themselves to subtlety) and Jason Castro (for pretty much those very same reasons).

But hopefully they’ll both hit a home run and we can pretend I never even wrote that previous paragraph.

Syesha Mercado – “One Rock And Roll Too Many” – I have never heard this song before. But I think it was a smart choice for that very reason. Seconds into her performance, it was clear that she was IN HER ELEMENT…I think she’s probably way more of a Broadway star than she is a pop star. Even when she had pitch problems, she seemed to be enjoying herself, and that’s the first time I’ve thought that all season long.

So all that to say: it wasn’t a perfect performance, but it was Syesha’s best night by a mile. Loved it.

Jason Castro – “Memory” – Okay, we just fell out laughing when he said, “I didn’t know a cat was singing it.” So funny. And you know, I really wanted to like this more mellow version of “Memory” – which, in fairness, worked in parts – but this song is such a showtopper that his version fell flat. This performance showcased his vocal limitations way more than it highlighted his originality. It just didn’t work. And that’s probably not a great thing for sweet Jason Castro.

Brooke White – “You Must Love Me” – Hey, the hubby just pointed out that it was smart of her to pick a song written for Madonna since Madonna isn’t really known for her huge range. But even still, the whole thing felt awkward, like she was trapped in a song that was just way bigger than her voice. It was a sweet performance, but unfortunately, it wasn’t a particularly good one.

David Archuleta – “Think Of Me” – I was pleasantly surprised to hear him do a modern take on this song, mainly because for me his greatest weakness has been his tendency to pick out songs that sound way too old for him. But tonight he got it right. I loved this performance – it was clever, effective and memorable. Really well done.

Carly Smithson – “Jesus Christ Superstar” – I had chillbumps the whole way through this performance. She took control from the beginning and never let it go, even when some of the high notes were a little much for her. She seemed genuinely happy, looked great, and WOW – that was a PHENOMENAL arrangement. The band ROCKED IT OUT on this one.

And yes, I did in fact just say “ROCKED IT OUT.”

I do hope you’ll continue to read here.

David Cook – “Music Of The Night” – This was a really surprising song choice, I thought – mainly because I expected him to pick something a little less theatrical, and I also expected him to do something a little funkier. But if nothing else, he proved that he can really sing, and while it wasn’t my favorite performance of his, he did a great job. He can sing anything – no doubt about it. And p.s. – I totally agree with what Simon said.

Should go: It pains me to say it, but based on tonight’s performances, I have to say Jason or Brooke. The musical theatre water was just way too deep for them.

Will go: Ditto the whole “should go” comment.

Best of the night: David Archuleta – and Carly is a close second for me.

Also, I thought the band did an incredible job – they were so much fun to listen to tonight.

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So Michael’s personal life has definitely taken a turn for the MORE PAINFULLY AWKWARD THAN USUAL in the last two episodes of “The Office,” but there was a welcome hint of sweetness in the last half of tonight’s show.

And as an added bonus: CREED!

My favorite moments?

1. “Please write legibly.”
2. Andy dancing in the parking lot – IT MADE ME SO HAPPY.
3. “Some people sweat too much for comfort.”
4. “I am a man of intensity. Of cool and youth. And passionately.”
5. JIM WITH THAT RING – OH MY WORD AT THE SWEETNESS.

Yours?

So I’m two days late to the AI party, but here we go.

(By the way, I heard through the grapevine that Mariah Carey is the guest mentor on this particular show. And I don’t know if y’all know this, but Mariah and I are about the same age, and we, like, TOTALLY dress the same.)

(It’s uncanny, really.)

David Archuleta – “When You Believe” – This is actually his first performance in SEVERAL weeks when I’ve felt like he lived up to all the David Archuleta hype. Really well done. And I think it helped that he sang a modern song. I would also like to say, on a note that is completely unrelated to his performance, that THE PEOPLE IN THE FRONT NEED TO PUT DOWN THEIR ARMS, OH THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Carly Smithson – “Without You” – Okay, I LOVED hearing her sing in that lower range (as opposed to screaming at me in her upper range). It also struck me that she didn’t try to oversing this song at the very beginning. I think this was one of her strongest performances so far. Very compelling.

Syesha Mercado – “Vanishing” – Wow. I think Syesha made a believer out of me this week – mainly because I didn’t feel like she was doing an imitation of another singer. For the first time, I felt like I saw a glimpse of who Syesha really is. And that was refreshing.

Brooke White – “Hero” – As always, Brooke’s performance was very genuine. But there wasn’t anything extra special about this particular song for me – it felt very plain, for lack of a better word – like she wasn’t sure how to put her own spin on it. It just felt a little generic to me. But I have big hopes that next week will be better.

Kristy Leigh Cook – “Forever” – I think the low notes were a little much for her – and a real reminder of how huge Mariah Carey’s range is. But once she got going, it wasn’t so bad. She actually sounded confident on the chorus, and had the song been a little more fast-paced, those low notes probably wouldn’t have stuck out so much.

David Cook – “Always Be My Baby” – LOVED THIS. Loved the arrangement, loved the performance – and what was so cool was that it sounded like something that could be a hit right now. You’re a clever fella, David Cook. Oh yes you are.

Jason Castro – “I Don’t Want To Cry” – I thought this was a neat song for him – and it also showed how much he has improved as a vocalist since the show started. I loved the acoustic feel to the whole thing – I thought he did a great job.

I won’t do the should go / will go thing because I already know. But given that, I definitely think that the right person went home, because we’re left with a really talented top 6 – maybe the strongest yet.

Also, tonight’s show gave me a whole new appreciation for Mariah Carey – she is quite the songwriter, oh yes she is.

Finally: best of the night – David Cook

So I’m all done now – but be sure to check out everyone else’s opinions below!

I must confess: I’m intrigued by the theme of inspirational songs. But so help me, if somebody tries to break out Whitney’s “One Moment In Time” from the 1988 Olympic Games, I’m out, people. Done. Nothing left to give.

Oh, I kid.

Kinda.

And here we go.

Michael Johns – “Dream On” – ROCKIN’ THE ASCOT for the second week in a row! And I think he did a great job, even though I thought the end of it was a little shrill. Also, DON’T TALK BACK TO THE JUDGES, POR FAVOR. Still, it seems like he’s confident and on a bit of a roll – especially with the audience. I didn’t love it like I loved last week’s performance, but I think it’s good enough to keep him around for another week. Like Simon, though, I really prefer to hear Michael sing more bluesy / R&B stuff.

Syesha Mercado – “I Believe” – I really don’t understand why Syesha keeps picking these songs that are SO identifiable with the person who recorded them. I just think she’s singing such straightforward arrangements that she’s not putting her own spin on stuff. And I wanted to like it. I did. But it was just a’ight for me. And again: DON’T TALK BACK TO THE JUDGES. It’s an evaluation, not a conversation, thank you.

Jason Castro – “Over the Rainbow” – Oh bless heart – did he just get the lyrics messed up? I think he just got the lyrics all confused. Maybe I’m wrong. As far as his performance, I thought the whole ukulele thing was perfect for him, and he sounded great. I don’t think I loved it quite as much as the judges did, but I thought it was really good.

Kristy Leigh Cook – “Anyway” – So at the beginning of this performance I couldn’t help but think that a Martina song was verrrry ambitious. But you know what? That was actually pretty good – the best she’s ever done, I think. Good for her. I feel strangely proud.

David Cook – “Innocent” – It was a little rough at the beginning, but about midway through I thought he found his groove. It wasn’t his best performance by any stretch, but he was still good. And I have to say this or I’ll start to twitch: the jacket was a little weird for me. But the hair is SO much better. I think we can all rest easier now.

Carly Smithson – “The Show Must Go On” – I just think this song was wrong, all wrong. Her voice is beautiful, but she has a tendency to pick these Pat Benatar / Heart / Bonnie Tyler-ish songs, and it’s difficult to connect to those kinds of songs in a minute and a half, ESPECIALLY when she’s supposed to be singing an inspirational song. I think it would’ve been great if she had done something like Faith Hill’s “There Will Come A Day” – and it seems like that’s much more in her range. Anyhoo.

David Archuleta – “Angels” – I really, really love the original version of this song by Robbie Williams. And David A. did a nice job – but the mama in me is worried about him because it seems like he is just worn down and worn out. That being said, I don’t think he’s in any danger of being voted off this week – plus, it was fun to hear him sing something a little bit more contemporary than what he’s been doing.

Brooke White – “You’ve Got A Friend” – PERFECT song for her. My only “issue” is that she didn’t do anything different than the original version – not that she’s required to do that, of course – but there was nothing about the arrangement that made it uniquely Brooke. So in that sense it felt a little bit like a talent show. With a different arrangement, it could’ve been special. But with the arrangement she used, it was just good.

Should go: Either Carly or Syesha – both of them have had about six weeks now to show us what makes them “tick” musically – and so far I don’t feel like either one of them has really set themselves apart from the pack. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, because it makes me a little disappointed for them.

Will go: I don’t think anybody will go because during “Idol Gives Back” don’t they do that whole thing where nobody goes home this week and then they eliminate two people the next week? So I think everyone is safe for the time being.

Best of the night: To be honest, I really don’t have a favorite – it was sort of an “eh” night for me. But if I had to pick anybody, I’d probably pick Michael Johns – up until he did the whole falsetto thing.

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I have to tell y’all that I am so excited about tonight’s show because I LOVE ME SOME DOLLY PARTON. I think she’s brilliant and funny and inspiring and wonderful. So I can’t wait to see what she has to say – because she is one phenomenal songwriter. Love her.

Brooke White – “Jolene” – I loved the whole acoustic / folksy feel of this arrangement, and I thought Brooke did a good job with it. That being said, I don’t think she necessarily did anything terribly original with the song. She seemed to have trouble hitting the higher notes on the chorus – but she’s so sincere and genuine that I almost like seeing the little flaws in her performance because it just makes it all the more real.

David Cook – “Little Sparrow” – I’m telling y’all: he gets better every single week. I am really getting attached to his voice – so distinctive, solid and good. Loved it. Which is becoming the norm for me where David Cook is concerned.

Ramiele Malubay – “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?” – I think this was one of her best performances. She was energetic and didn’t try to scream big notes the whole time. She seemed a little out of breath when she was singing the verses, but overall I thought she did a nice job. Good for her.

Jason Castro – “Travelin’ Through” – Oh my word I really liked it. What was so cool about it for me was that it sounded like something I’d put on my iPod and listen to over and over again. Such a great song – and such a fun arrangement. And while I usually agree with Simon, I thought he was off the mark tonight, at least as far as Jason goes.

Carly Smithson – “Here You Come Again” – That was Carly’s best performance so far, I thought. A really cool, different take on a song that was great to begin with. She seems to have a little trouble when she goes too low or too high, but she’s fab when she’s in that middle range. And for me, tonight was leaps and bounds better than anything she’s done so far. I thought it was really pretty.

David Archuleta – “Smokey Mountain Memories” – The main thing that struck me about this song was that the lyrics are just beautiful. And this was David A.’s best performance in several weeks – seemed like the perfect song for him.

Kristy Leigh Cook – “Coat of Many Colors” – She’s definitely way more comfortable with a country song, don’t y’all think? Tonight’s performance didn’t blow me away, but it was solid – she did a nice job with the song.

Syesha Mercado – “I Will Always Love You” – My first thought was “OH, PLEASE BE SO CAREFUL WITH A SONG THAT WHITNEY DID.” Also: I did not understand why it was necessary for her to sit on top of the piano. But still, she did a nice job with a legendary version of this classic song.

Michael Johns – “It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right” – Nice ascot. Is that an ascot? Anyway. As far as his performance is concerned, I TRIPLE LOVED IT. I think the whole bluesy thing TOTALLY worked for him. His version of this song was absolutely incredible. Plan to purchase it on iTunes tomorrow.

Should go – Ramiele

Will go – Kristy Leigh

Best of the night – The husband and I just had a lively IM discussion about this very topic with FryDaddy. Because D and I think Michael Johns was the best, but FryDaddy holds unswervingly to the opinion that David Archuleta stole the show.

And that is all fine and good because clearly Michael Johns was the best. HE ROCKED AN ASCOT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Oh, I kid.

Only I’m not kidding about the whole Michael-Johns-was-the-best thing.

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